Vicki Gunvalson

Vicki talks about her daughter's health, her blowout with Alexis, and her friendship with Tamra.

on Feb 18, 2010

Briana and I are very close and if anyone ever did that to her, I would react the same way she did to defend me. When she told Alexis, "I'm 22 years old and my friends don't even do this," it was a way to tell Alexis, "GROW UP!"

I've been asked to talk about my friendship with Tamra and if I'm skeptical about where her loyalties lay. I really don't know how to answer that, because although I will admit Tamra said some VERY hurtful things, I still like Tamra and wish her the best. She told me after the fact that she was torn between Simon and me and that she was sorry, but I still don't think she had to be as mean as she was. We had a "pinky swear" we would have each other's back this season so it was very hurtful when I saw her talking about me that way. I would never speak about her the way she did about me. I guess that's the difference between us.

It was fun hearing Gretchen ask her parents what their secrets were to a successful marriage. Personally, I think there are a lot of things that make a successful marriage - NOT just one or two tips. If anyone reading this blog is married, you know that the marriage has its ups and downs. I don't believe in staying in a dysfunctional marriage. Donn and I have been very fortunate to be able to work out our problems and realize that we are good people who want the same thing in life. We want to be respected, we want to have the same interests, we agree to disagree and we are "family" and we love each other. When I was getting divorced from my first husband I went through many months of counseling to be sure it was the right thing to do for my children and myself. I remember the counselor sitting across from me and telling me that I cannot change anyone but myself. I have the power to change if I want to, but I cannot change anyone else. That was powerful to me, because I was always trying to change Mike. I was hoping he was going to be a better father and a better husband. I tried to get him to stop drinking, to stop smoking, and to come home after work instead of going to the bar When I realized I couldn't change him, I knew it was time to get divorced, because I couldn't live with who he was. I wasn't happy. When the counselor said, "I believe if you have the 3 A's in your marriage - Addiction, Adultery and Abuse - it's OK to get divorced." When I realized I had all three, it was the green light to file for divorce. I talk quite extensively about this in my book More than a Housewife. I talk about the strength it took for me to ask my first husband for a divorce, my struggles being a single mom, and my search to find a career that would allow me to support myself and my children. Since I didn't get any child support, I knew I could only depend on myself and NO ONE else. It was powerful and the best thing I ever did to improve my life. If you're interested in purchasing my book, please put in the promotion code "FACEBOOK" and you will receive $5.00 off. I guarantee it will be one of the best books you read all year. (