“I know nothing, I am like a blank slate because I have no control and my daughter is out of control, and she basically tells me what to do and bosses me around so if anyone has any parenting tips please give them to me, I know nothing!” she laughs, adding, “I am a good mom, I know it looks like there’s just chaos going on and my kids are insane, but I really am a good mom. I try hard, I get an A for effort.”
Tip for Emily: No one knows what they’re doing when it comes to raising humans, you kind of wing it and hope they turn out right.
She does know her parenting style though, calling her own “survival,” ha.
“Survival? Is that a word? Seriously, it’s like when you have three small children and they need something all day, like all the time, I literally just think ‘I just have to get to 7 p.m.' 'cause that’s when my boys go to bed,” she says. “If I can just live if I can just get to seven without having a nervous breakdown so it’s just like yeah, survival.”
We hear ya.
“You know when people say after you have kids, your life is going to change and you’re like 'yeah, yeah I know, I get it I’m gonna be tired' ... but you don’t really get it until they’re there. I’m like a zombie, I haven’t washed my hair in a week, my husband is going to leave me because I look awful, he doesn’t even know who this woman is. I mean I can’t even go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without a kid going in with me and tripping on a lego on the way and crashing like a dump truck or something. And I mean all those toys make noises, it’s like I’m trying to go to the bathroom, I’m trying to be quiet and all those toys are like 'woo woo woo,' and then I’m like, you know, I just stepped on an ambulance at night, and then I’ll be sleeping at night and I’ll roll over and I’ll pull out like, a Barbie. Then you roll over this way and then there’s fruit snacks in your bed and it’s like … I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Emily even admits she thinks her husband has better parenting skills than her, but we think she’s just being hard on herself.
“He has patience and he has much better patience than I do, my patience on a scale from one to ten is like a zero. Like it’s just like nonexistent and I’m just like ah ah ah ah, and he like slows down and he talks to them and he gets down on their level and talks to them and I’m like why are you doing that?” she says.
As for quality time as a couple (with kids) the two make sure to do date nights often, even if it’s just on the couch.
“Honestly I know it sounds pretty cliché but just when you get all the kids to bed and you can just sit down on the couch and watch a movie together and just sit next to each other, I mean that’s really our alone time and it’s not anything glamorous, you know, it just is what it is,” Emily says. “That’s it, it took so much to just get all three of them into bed and you’re just exhausted so you just sit down next to each other and I don’t know, watch Netflix and just talk about how you survived your day. Barely.”
Reporting by Alice Dubin.
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