Shannon: I Am Human

Shannon's candid reaction to tonight's episode and her feelings on her difficult journey with David.

I am going to have to start before the episode even began. I noticed the title was "Whine Country". Really? I want to be very clear. I am not happy or excited about talking about my husband's infidelity or the painful year plus that my family and I went through. But I happen to be on a reality show, I am honest, and we thought that sharing our story may help other couples in a similar situation.

I am doing my best. But let's be realistic. I am not going to be able to snap my fingers and say that everything is completely perfect in a day or even a month. I am going to have moments of weakness, of insecurity, of painful memories. You get to see that on the episode tonight. But I also have many amazing moments of strength, of confidence, of positivity. There are times where I see the love in my husband's eyes that I didn't think I would see again. I spend happy days with my family, like we did yesterday celebrating Father's Day, that are filled with laughter and love. You are watching my journey with David as we repair our marriage and you are going to see many good and some bad parts of that journey. I am glad that you are seeing both the positives and negatives because that is real life. If we are going to possibly help other couples, they need to see that the road to a healthy and happy marriage is going to definitely have many bumps in it. And that is o.k. It's how you react and respond to those bumps that is most important.

So for those people who say that I am bitching, whining, insecure, or needy, I'm sorry you feel that way. I am not looking for sympathy, only understanding as to why I may not be "fun vacation Shannon" at all times. I am human. I experienced the most earth shattering months of my life and I don't wish that pain on anyone. I know I continue to make mistakes, but I can only do my best as I continue to move forward positively and happily in my marriage.

Onto the episode. I was worried David was going to be a bit inebriated as we started our trip in Napa. He wasn't. But that one thought took me back to a bad place last year when David was drinking like I had never seen -- when he was having the affair. I got all riled up over nothing and then my mind took me to a dark place of memories. The one good thing is that we recovered quickly. Wish you could have seen more of the fun.

Just a note. Part of my "yeast free" diet is not to drink wine, especially champagne. Heather said there would be a full bar there as well and I was looking for it. A few of us were...

At the Collette party, you see Meghan and I having fun together. We even shared a bathroom and she saw me dealing with my three pairs of spanx. Yes, I said three pairs of spanx. I gained about 20 pounds since the reunion so I needed all the help sucking it in. I'd wear ten spanx if I could! And it was hilarious when I saw the toilet paper hanging from Tamra's underwear. She and I had a great time on the trip together. It was nice for us to bond again.

Anyway, you also get to see me explain to Meghan that I was upset at the hoedown because David didn't introduce me. The morning of the hoedown I didn't recognize David's personality, and when he started to take shots when we arrived, I was shocked because I had never seen him take a shot of alcohol ever. Of course now it all makes sense.

The Bellos home is gorgeous and we were all having a fantastic evening as our trip to Napa wound down. I am still unclear why Meghan chose to bring up a phone call that to this day doesn't make any sense. Apparently someone gave her my cell phone number, yet I was never asked or told that she may be calling me. She didn't give me her correct name, she said she heard I hosted a party which I hadn't, and then she said she needed help with appetizer quantities. I love to cook when I have smaller parties, but when I host a large event, the caterer figures out how many appetizers we need and I have nothing to do with it. Things didn't add up, so I believed Meghan was attempting to set me up to look bad for some reason. Tune in next week and you will see how that all worked out...

Please follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook @ShannonBeador. I continue to live tweet!

Until next week! XO

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Shannon Beador

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