Vicki: I Missed Tamra

Vicki opens up about her relationship with Tamra.

Heather Dubrow, Lizzie Rovsek, Meghan King Edmonds, Shannon Beador, Tamra Judge, Vicki Gunvalson

Before I comment on this episode, I thought I would explain my viewpoint on Tamra's blog last week.

First of all, I need to make a correction as I did speak to Tamra after Brooks' diagnosis. She initially found out from an interview Brooks and I did after he was re-diagnosed with his cancer in October 2014. Tamra and I ended up talking on the phone after that was online, and I told her I was sad and scared and was apprehensive on filming season 10 with Brooks being sick. I told her I "didn't want to be Gretchen" and was reflecting back when she was filming with her fiancé Jeff who ended up dying while she was on RHOC. Tamra was very supportive on the call and said "he'll be fine, you got this and if there was anything we needed to let her know". So for her to post in her blog that we never spoke is not true. What I did say in my Bravo interview is that after that conversation in October, I did not speak to her and she hadn't reached out to me to see how we were doing until we started filming season 10 which was months later. Tamra also mentioned that Terry Dubrow hadn't talked to Brooks or reached out to Brooks which is also not true. Brooks has a text message from Terry in February, which was AFTER his round of chemo and AFTER Napa asking how he was doing. I mean how would Tamra know if Terry and Brooks texted, so I don't know why she said that.

Now onto this episode.

When I called Tamra from my condo in Puerto Vallarta I need to clarify...I was not drunk! I was simply having a nice afternoon and was happy. It was in the middle of the day, and my brother Billy, Brooks, and I were sitting on my balcony having lunch. When Tamra asked me how Brooks was doing, I told her he was having another round of chemo when we returned. I was SHOCKED to hear Eddie mockingly cough in his hand "bullsh!t". At that time, Eddie had not called Brooks in over 6 months, nor knew anything about his treatment, so for him to say that was very hurtful to Brooks. How would Eddie know if Brooks was having chemo or not?

I didn't know how Tamra and I were going to be when we first saw each other as it had been a long time. It's so strange, because we work on the same street however we never see each other. I missed Tamra and had always caught up with what she was doing on social media but it wasn't the same as seeing her. When we ended up holding hands during the piñata moment I knew somehow we were going to be OK. I am sure it was hard for Shannon to see that, as I know Shannon feels I shouldn't forgive Tamra but I have to. It wasn't all Tamra's fault last year at Bali, and with hindsight I should have talked to her alone before I confronted her at the dinner table. I hated to see Tamra run off and fly back to LA by herself, but it was something that she felt she had to do and I think we both learned a lot from that.

It was great finally getting to sit down and quietly talk to Tamra in my grotto – alone and without anyone else there to influence us. I was glad to have Tamra finally agree to stop talking negatively about Brooks to anyone. He has been nothing but nice to her, and to have Tamra say that "as long as he makes you happy I'm good with it" was like a load off my back. It's not that I need Tamra's approval, but I sure don't need any negativity. Lord knows I've had enough of that.

Watching David and Shannon's eulogy as if they died was very creepy to me. I didn't like it at all. I think because my mother's passing is still fresh in my mind, watching them lay as if they were dead was not appropriate at all. I mean, we all are going to die eventually, but why go to that extent? I don't know about any of you but I didn't like it and would never encourage that in marriage counseling.

I am proud of David and Shannon because the truth of the matter is, the odds are not in their favor. When one of the partners are unfaithful, it's very difficult to overcome. It's going to take a lot of work, but I feel they have what it takes to beat those odds. When Donn and I were going thru our "issues" in our marriage one of the things that we struggled with was forgiving each other for the hurt that we caused in the marriage. I didn't realize that the statistics in Orange County were a 70% divorce rate which was very alarming. I often wonder if I stayed in IL., in a more quiet, conservative life, I would most likely still be married to Donn. When I was going thru marital counseling and divorce counseling, one of the things that I remember the counselor telling us is "Abuse, Adultry, and Addiction" (the 3 A's) is a very difficult thing to overcome if that happens while married or in a committed relationship. 

When Shannon confided in me last year about what David was doing, I made a promise to her that I would not share that information with anyone and I kept that promise to her. I encouraged her, if she loved David and was able to forgive him, then FIGHT for their marriage and not give up. I told her "this is what divorce will look like" and laid out to her how it would be for the girls and for her life. I was real in telling her being a single mom without a career was going to be a struggle, having to divide your assets, having the girls be raised in a split family, the struggles with dating at this age and on and on. I was surprised that she decided to film all this, but I realize now her story will be one of inspiration to other couples and families that have gone thru this same type of situation and I think it will be helpful to others. My thoughts and prayers are with both of them and wish them the very best.

For those of you that have emailed to me and reached out to Brooks and I regarding his cancer, thank you for all of the encouragement. Some of your stories have been so touching and we have received a lot of great recommendations about what you have done to rid your body of cancer. I have received so many wonderful stories of cancer survivors and all of the confusing information on how to treat this disease. I truly believe you can't do only one thing, it must be a combination of alternative medicine, holistic treatments, and western medicine. It's a complete lifestyle change on not only eating, but also positive thinking, lots of prayer and surrounding yourself with the best professionals there are. We are so happy that we found Lenka at Club Detox as she has brought so much knowledge to Brooks and I about eating raw fruits and vegetables, juicing, and using FOOD as our medicine. Please visit the website and become a member to learn how you can rid your body of toxic chemicals and start fueling your body with what it needs to get healthy.

So keep your stories coming. They are inspiring for Brooks to read and thank you again for all of your support. We love you and appreciate all of you.

Lastly, to find out more about my black dress I wore in tonight's episode visit MK Collab. You can purchase the dress on the website or you can become an online E-boutique owner yourself. It's so much fun to be able to make money while dressing for success.

Take Care,

Vicki

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