Meghan: Please Don't Undermine My Pain Because I Still Lost My Baby Boy

"We have a lot to be grateful for. But at the end of the day it doesn't make our loss disappear."

I know this week’s episode had a little competition with the presidential debate, so I hope y’all had time to catch up by now! It was another week full of mixed emotions for me and I really appreciate all the kind tweets and messages that everyone sent me.

I honestly couldn’t watch the scene when I was in tears. It was just too hard to relive that moment and it brought back too many emotions. As expected, everyone has had different views and opinions on how I reacted to the news of just one baby instead of two, but knowing that two genetically perfect embryos were transferred and only one survived was really hard for me. Of course I am beyond excited and grateful for my baby girl to arrive in a couple months, but the loss of (what I now know was) the boy felt - and was and is - so real. People have said that I should be grateful I have one healthy baby and I want everyone to know that I am, but please don't undermine my pain because I still lost my baby boy, no matter how early. And anyone who has undergone IVF knows that our embryos are our babies. And yes, Jimmy and I have had early success with IVF, we are pregnant with a healthy baby, and we can afford the treatments we underwent. We have a lot to be grateful for. But at the end of the day it doesn't make our loss disappear. 

I was overwhelmed with emotions and Jim was, too. He was so upset. Even at the next appointment, he asked them to please look again for our other baby - it broke my heart. I’d wake up crying and fall asleep crying and we had to take some time to grieve. I’m now seven months pregnant and I’m currently decorating my baby girl’s nursery and couldn’t be more excited to meet her!

I’m excited for everyone to see the opening of K.Hall Designs on next week’s episode! Brian and Ashley did such an incredible job setting up the entire store in only two weeks. It’s also been great to see some of the ladies wearing my Hashtag Hats throughout the season. Thanks Tamra and Kelly! The #classyaf and #coolmom hats are perfect for you both!

Sorry, I missed writing a blog last week, but after watching Shannon’s mother-in-law at the bar, and then this week, hearing that her in-laws welcomed David’s mistress into their home, I really feel for Shannon. For his family to entertain the mistress is so uncouth and disrespectful to the family unit and then on top of that she had the stress of moving? I know how stressful and emotional moving can be by itself, so I can’t imagine how she felt having to deal with all of that at once.

You can find me at www.meghankedmonds.com and on social media:

Twitter: @meghankedmonds

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