Drag Racing with the <i>Real Housewives</i>

We had the best time this weekend. Vicki, Jo, Slade, Tammy, Lindsey and Megan and I went to the NHRA Powerade Drag Races at the Auto Club Raceway in Pomona. We had race cars with our names on it and we got be in the Celebrity Drag Race. Vicki and I beat Jo and Slade. We were in Pontiacs.

There were 40,000 fans. It was fun having us all there. Just a part of our new reality, being mini-celebs. We did a drive by on golf cars waving and then they told us we'd be in the race. We learned about funny cars and met Ashley Force — a female driver, daughter of John Force Top Fuel car champion. She was very interesting and told us an exciting story about a flameout she just had.

It turned out that Vicki and I would be racing Jo and Slade, and we took our job very seriously, we were there to win. We are both highly competitive. Ashley Force gave us pedal tips to beat tehm, but I have to say, their "I just need some French Fries" attitude didn't stand a chance. The first time you hear the Top Fuel car go by is an experience. I jumped into Tammy's arms. It's earsplitting. They had given us ear plugs but nothing prepared me for that sound. We also learned a lot of lingo. It turns out that Vicki and I did a "hole shot." That's a great term, isn't it? It's a "starting line advantage by the quicker reacting racer that results in a win despite being in the slower car." So, technically Slade got "treed," which means he had slower reactions to the lighting sequence. (It was Jo distracting him.)

The lights went on, we floored it to the floor and didn't let up until we past the finish line. Slade looked very hot in his helmet and shades and thank God Jo distracted him about the light tree sequence because I am sure he would have been tough to beat. We went 95.3 miles on a quarter mile track and it is a rush, Vicki and I got out hopping and hollering and I am sure ESPN caught it. Vicki and I will from here on be referred to as the reigning RHOC's.

The cars go from 150-350. We saw a few flame-outs, a few blown engines, and a car hit the sand when the chute didn't open. It reminded me of Shane and his go cart in the sand traps of Coto Golf when he was 4.I am signing Shane up for racing lessons, he needs to feel the need for speed in an appropriate arena. Not the OC freeways. I have to thank our friend and race car owner Perry Johnson for setting this up. Also many thanks to Bob Elia and Rick Quezsada for all the fun and answering all our questions.

As for this episode, Miss Canada was a nice girl; she sent me flowers after the weekend was over to thank me. She had nice manners.

In this episode, there's that awkward moment between Duff and Tammy, where I have to ask him to leave. Tammy and Duff are both my good friends; it is really hard to see them apart because I sometimes feel like the middleman trying to get them back together. And the fact that I set them up together in the first place makes me feel a bit awkward. I am a matchmaker by trade and I find happiness when I put people together. Tammy and Duff used to be my greatest success story.

Jo's birthday party also introduces everyone to Barbara Parker. I met through the show — she is an amazing Texas belle and I love her spunk. Kara and Shane are close to her daughter Brittany and being around the Parkers always lightens any day. Just like Vicki, Barbara can turn any event into an all-out party. Steven, Kara's boyfriend, has been really successful with baseball; he had five straight hits with a homerun! He's such a big part of our family and I am so proud of his achievements. My two little rascals are getting close to celebrating their four year anniversary, how time flies! I've been getting some questions about what an average day is like in the Keough household. Check back next week!