"If I can't do it well the first time, I won't do it again." I say this at the beginning of the episode. I have never taken sports seriously. I was the one in high school who sat in the football stands cheering, while my girlfriends were on the field either being a cheerleader or a pom-pom girl.
I am somewhat uncoordinated, and so for me to go and spend four or five hours on the golf course and be frustrated because I am not good is not fun to me. I would rather go to the gym or take a walk. Sports, pfft.
I love talking with Lauri because we have children the same age. I think the biggest challenge for a parent with children Briana and Ashley's age is to find the balance between being their mother and being their friend. I think Briana and I have found that balance, and it is amazing. I would rather spend time with Briana than anyone else. We had a rough few years when she started high school, but once she knew that everything I was restricting her from doing was for her own good, things got a lot better. I think once she saw her peers who had no boundaries and the trouble they got in, she realized I wasn't her "enemy."
I take an active role in Mike and Briana's life and want us to be a close family. I will do whatever it takes for my children to be healthy, happy, a good contributor to society. One common phrase I ask of them is: "make me proud." They always seem to do that!
This episode has the astrological party. I loved it. When Jeana said I was a "control freak" it actually offended me at first. I look at that word as negative, and bad. I would rather have people think of me as "in control," and not the other way. I tend to be very systematic in my thinking and I have a lot of energy. I am very organized and I love having control over certain aspects of my life. "Control freak".....NO. I would rather people think of me as "In control" That actually was a really fun night having the astrologer to my house. I had never had my chart read, so when he showed me the triangle in the middle of paper with a big circle in the middle of it — I assumed everyone had that same drawing. Mine was the only one that looked like that. All the other charts from the ladies had lines all over the paper. Mine was a very distinctive large triangle.
The astrologer told me that there is NO WAY I cannot have energy, based on this chart. It was the way the planets were lined up at the time, day and place I was born in. There are many times when Donn asks me to "slow down," "relax," "stop doing so much all the time" — and I can't. It was nice to hear that slowing down in my mind will not make me happy. I am the happiest when I am busy! Wait till you see what I am working on now! I am extremely blessed. I have an amazing core group of people in my life that support me and my life right now. God is truly blessing me. There was a rough period about a month ago where I was feeling really overwhelmed, overworked and underpaid and very SAD.
Donn bought me a book for Valentines day called The Secret. It actually has helped me a lot. Ilearned that life's outcome has a lot to do with the energy you place in your mind. If you place happy thoughts, good things will come. If you place negative thoughts, bad things will happen.
I am building an amazing new agency through my website, doors are opening for me more than I ever dreamed possible.
My kids are happy and Donn is doing wonderfully well. I miss my mother, my sisters and my brother Billy terribly that live in Chicago. I wish they would move out here to California to be with us and enjoy this place we live in.