Reality Sets In...
Tammy Knickerbocker reacts to her daughter's tattoo, and tells all about her trip with the wives to Havasu.
In this week's episode, a scene is portrayed with Lindsey and Megan in Miami, where they were confronted with not being able to phone their Dad for additional money, as they have been accustomed to doing when in a pinch. To add salt to the wound, they were subjected to watching the other girls do so. Although the real wound in this was simply not being able to call their father at all, because he has passed on. But I think that whenever you talk about money, (or more specifically lack of it), it is a sore subject.
Lindsey and Megan went to Miami on a budget. They had to use their own money because I was not willing to support them on an unnecessary trip to a place like Miami. I have been to Miami and I don't think it is a place where young women should go without supervision, not to mention the fact that I am naturally concerned for anything that might go wrong when my daughters are separated by such a distance. To be honest, I was not happy at all about the entire idea, especially for Lindsey. But a free trip! I must admit that if I was their age and offered a free trip like that, it is highly doubtful I would turn down the opportunity. But the girls will (and frequently do) make their own decisions regardless of my preferences. That's life!
The girls are very lucky that they have each other to lean on and count on for support. Megan and Lindsey borrow money from each other all the time also. That is just what sisters do.
Now regarding the tattoo Megan came home with, yes, I am used to it. Tattoos are a part of my life whether I like it or not. I love my daughter and if tattoos make her happy then so be it. I don't have to like everything she does, but she is an individual. I do not control my children, because they aren't really children, they are adults. I wished I was able to stop her from getting tattoos when she was younger, and under age. Megan has gone through many changes in her life — some scary, some dangerous, and some have inspired me to appreciate the inside, the deeper side of people, not the outside, "the pretty, fake side" of some people.
I have tried explaining to Megan that society will not easily accept her choices in that area. It affects her when applying for a job, or by being judged a certain way — even as harsh as being labeled a loser. You can't change the world, so if you do this to yourself you'd better be able to deal with the consequences that life will throw at you, for YOUR WHOLE LIFE, (since a tattoo is permanent) I talked to her about how she will appear when she is sixty years old, but it is hard for kids to think that they will be that age one day. Megan does regret acquiring some of her tattoos and would like to get them professionally removed, so I am helping her in that endeavor at the moment. But it is very expensive and painful. This will be a new chapter in our life, and I am hoping if she gets one of them taken off she will then want to take more of them off! I am crossing my fingers!
In this episode you also get to see me go to Lake Havasu with Jeana and Vicki, which was a complete blast. It was so much fun for me to let loose, be a little bad (just a little!), and just generally enjoy myself. Sometimes I tend to forget to have fun, since I am often preoccupied with stressing out about everyday matters. Some people will likely judge us negatively for our crazy weekend, but I am not one to really care what people think about me. I know who I am and what matters to me most is my children, family and my friends.
Jeana also had a great time letting loose, and it was nice to see her have some well-deserved fun too. Vicki, of course, always has fun no matter what she does. I admire her strength in knowing what she needs to do to make herself happy. The good and the bad is what life is about, without the bad we could never appreciate the good we have in our lives.
Personally, for my own "Calgon take me away!" moments, I like to sit in the bath alone, listen to music, drink a nice glass of red wine, and maybe read a little. I'm really drawn to water in all forms, and love going anywhere near to it, from my Mom's house on Spring Valley Lake to water and jet skiing with all of my children, and to the beach of course. I derive plenty of joy from the simple things in life. Just "hanging out" is really heaven to me.
Many people have inquired about my son, Ryley, or my "Boo", as I call him. All is good with Ryley. He started Kindergarten, soccer and an after-school program. He is adjusting very well, and just becoming more adorable every day! What can I say? He is a very a happy child I am very lucky. I have to tell a cute story, I work in Ryley's classroom as a room mother and one day I called him "Boo" out loud, which caused all the other kids to laugh. They asked Ryley "why does your mom call you Boo?" Ryley replied, "My mom can't help herself, she loves me sooooo much!" Needless to say I had to make up names for all of Ryley's friends at that point.
My son inspires me to see the good in everything, and to occasionally stop and smell the roses. Since we have now moved back into our home in Coto (for just over three weeks), we are all living together as a family — Megan, Lindsey, Ryley and I. It has brought some smiles to the girls' faces that had previously been a rarity. The girls are so close to Ryley and he loves them so much. Both Lindsey and Megan are like little moms to him. Lindsey loves baking cookies with Ryley, and Megan adores taking him outside to play. It is a nice feeling for me to see my children happy and playing together.
Ryley's dad, Duff, is also doing well. We have a wonderful friendship and Duff has a really nice girlfriend now. We all get along and hang out, which is nice for Ryley's sake also. Duff is even writing a column for my company, Veriya.com, which is pretty funny — classic Duff humor. I strongly believe that it is important to maintain a good, happy relationship with your children's father, so the child feels loved and not stressed about the separate lives of each parent.
I am focused on my children and not dating, which is a relatively new experience for me. I have to say that I have learned a lot about myself in the past year, and I hope to continue along this path, in a positive and productive direction, gaining more knowledge and experience as our family journey continues.