Cast Blog: #RHOC

10 Years Strong

Tamra Barney explains why her marriage is still going strong, even after ten years.

We had a great time celebrating our 10-year wedding anniversary in Napa with Donn and Vicki. The four of us get along so well. It was our first time wine tasting and I can't wait to go back without the cameras. There are so many wonderful things to do in Napa - hot-air balloon rides, romantic picnics, wine train rides, tandem bike riding, grape stomping. We started by taking a limo tour to Grgich Hills ( www.grgich.com ) where we were educated on how wine is made - very interesting. Vicki also had some competition with the chickens trying to show her up with her signature WHOO-HOO.

Then it was off to St. Supery (www.stsupery.com ) which was one of my favorite spots because of it's high energy, great wine and grape stomping. When we were asked if we wanted to go grape stomping, all I could think about was that episode of I love Lucy . I'm thinking, GAME ON - this is going to be fun! When they brought out the little barrel with grapes, I was a little bit disappointed. Looking back, I don't think the barrel was meant for two people. Vicki and I made it work and it is a moment I will remember forever.

After a long day of wine tasting we were off to dinner at Etoile at Chandon ( www.chandon.com ) I would have to say it was one of the most beautiful wineries I have ever seen. The restaurant was very romantic - we had our own dining room with 7 waiters. The food was...well...interesting, to say the least. I'm sure there are a lot of people that love wing fish (fish have wings), duck liver and oysters, but I am not one of them. Where is an Olive Garden when you need one?! No disrespect to the restaurant, we just chose the wrong menu. Did we go left or right?!

I think maybe the 7 glasses of wine they served with each course got the best of all of us. Before we knew it Donn was getting what he likes to call "pimped." Poor Donn! Daddy got hosed again! It seemed to look like the whole dinner was about Donn and Vicki, but that simple wasn't the case. What you saw was about 5 minutes of footage from a 3 hour dinner. They have to show the drama! I remember Vicki coming back to the table after her interview crying. We were shocked and we wondered what had happened. Then she asked, "what the hell is a love tank?" and we all started laughing.

On a serious note, I would like to say that I am so happy to be married to Simon and I am so thankful for beautiful children we have together. We have come a long way in 10 years. It doesn't seem that long ago that we were moving into our first little condo in Aliso Viejo and Ryan was only 12 years old. Sometimes I wish we were still back there - life was simple and there was less stress. Like all marriages we have had our ups and downs. Marriage is not always an easy thing.

In marriage, I believe that you should NEVER give up. I think Will Smith said it best, "Divorce is not an option, if it is an option then you WILL get divorced." I feel so blessed to have a wonderful man in my life that puts up with my crazy ways. I honestly believe the old saying that opposites attract. Simon is conservative, organized and always thinking 10 steps ahead. I on the other hand live for the moment and often talk without thinking and react out of anger. I think we balance each other out and some how everything works.

I like to call Simon my stylist. I take him shopping with me and he is great at picking out clothes for the both of us. I think most guys could care less about clothes. I always ask for his help when we pack for trips. I hate packing and tend to pack my whole wardrobe and end up with 8 suitcases. Then he ends up breaking his back trying to carry all of them. One funny thing you might notice is that Simon and I always try to coordinate our outfits when we go out. I know it sounds silly but it looks great in pictures. I think we both have a little OCD. Simon was a little surprised and maybe a little bit uncomfortable when I came out in lingerie. He was wondering WHY the camera'\s needed to get footage of him waiting while I got ready for dinner. Then when he realized what was doing on, I think he was speechless. He didn't think I was going out dressed like that - he just didn't know what to say. After seeing the footage it even made me feel uncomfortable! So did you think I was going to finish without talking about the handcuffs? Well, some things you just have to keep to yourself!

Lauri decision to leave was definitely a personal choice. My heart goes out to her and her family. I have personal talked to Lauri about Josh and his situation and you can feel the pain in her voice and through her tears. As much as I hate seeing her leave, I think it was the right time. She is ready to enjoy married life and the kids without the added pressures of the cameras and judgment from the viewers. I pray that Josh will get better and that Lauri can have her little boy that she has always cherished back.

I thought the footage of Jeff and Gretchen at Indy 500 was awesome - you could feel the adrenalin. Their day together is definitely something she can look back on and cherish for a lifetime. It was unfortunate that we never got to meet Jeff - from what we have seen so far, he looked like an amazing man.

In closing I would like to say, FINALLY, AN EPISODE WHERE WE ARE NOT BEING CATTY! As much as it looks like we all hate each other, we do not. I feel bad for the comments I have said. A lot of times we say things that at the time seem funny or entertaining, then when you see them on air it is not funny at all. I'm not saying life is all peachy in the O.C., but were not about to go Atlanta on each other - YET.

Lizzie: Tamra Doesn't Fight Fair

Lizzie thinks Tamra's comments about her children were meant to deflect from her own problems.

Happy Labor Day!!! I am going to make this blog short and sweet. It’s a holiday and I am going to be spending the day with family in Newport wearing a Sun Kitten and a smile. I hope you all are having a great holiday weekend.

To be honest, the second half of the Reunion was hard to watch. I think it got too ugly. I am not going to insult any of your intelligence in explaining this episode. We all know that misery loves company, and "projection" is as easy to spot as a $2 dollar bill. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that everything miserable that comes out of Tamra's mouth is a direct reflection of what is going on in her life. In my opinion, children are off limits. It's quite apparent that Tamra does not fight fair and when all else fails she will throw your kids, marriage, and even your body under the bus in an attempt to hurt you. We filmed the reunion for over 10 hours and after listening to so much ugliness my heart just couldn't take it anymore.

I do not regret telling Shannon all the things that Tamra said about her. Everything I shared with Shannon was something that happened and was said on camera. I didn't take anything and create unnecessary drama. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I would think my friends would do the same for me. I simply did not know the truth about Tamra. Danielle told me all the things Tamra said about me. That is why after my birthday I was so hurt by her. It's hard for viewers to understand because these things weren't in the show. She could have called me and said she wasn't coming. I called her after sitting on the bus for over an hour. The next day she made fun of me to Danielle, in addition to asking plenty of questions looking for negative details regarding my party.

On that one-year free membership to Cut Fitness: Let's delve into this shall we? I was the one that contacted Tamra days after my party. She did not contact me to give me present. I had invited Tamra, Eddie, Danielle, Joe, Heather, and Terry to the Kentucky Derby and Tamra was the only person that had not sent in the RSVP. It was past the deadline and it was getting borderline rude at this point. Tamra, in fact, was making fun of the Kentucky Derby and the charity event that would be hosting us to Danielle. So, I reached out to Tamra regarding the Kentucky Derby and she texted me back saying, "I want to give you a free membership to CUT for your birthday." Tamra knows I am already a member to a sports club and that was the last I heard of this "free membership." I never received any kind of certificate or card for membership. I suppose she thought I would have the gall to show up and say, "I got a text message from Tamra for a free membership!" It's almost laughable. Needless to say, I don't go to her gym and she didn't attend the Kentucky Derby with me.

There is nothing else to say regarding the Shag, Marry, Kill game that I haven't already discussed in great length in any of my previous blogs. I said the word "marry" and that's that. Tamra even glared at me on the way out of the Valentine's Party and repeated it. "Marry you?" Tamra has said multiple times she couldn't even remember because she drank too much and there are even text messages where she says it too. Her story changes continually, like the words that come out both sides of her mouth.

During the Reunion, Tamra said many more hurtful things that you didn't see. She went on to talk about my son Preston and my marriage. We all remember the episode in the park where Preston hit me on the head with his elephant. He was asleep in the car and he had a mini temper tantrum. He was three -- it happens. I would assume most mothers have had it happen at some point. In addition, my husband and I got in a fight on my birthday. I feel awful about it, yet it made us closer. I just wanted what every woman wants -- to feel special because of her man. I am a big time believer in learning from your mistakes and that won't ever happen again. However none of those incidents had anything to do with Tamra. But on her quest to hurt everyone, she managed to drag in some irrelevant topics. I know it's all to deflect from what's going on in her life and to make someone else look bad. . .but it does hurt nonetheless. My babies and my marriage are my life so I guess her goal was to attack the things closest to my heart because she can't fight fair.

I hope you enjoyed this season and I hope you had a fabulous summer!!! The fall is my absolute favorite time of year, so I say bring on football and cooler weather.

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