I have so many emotions running through me after watching this week's episode. To be honest, when I first began this Housewives experience, I thought I would be the girl who didn't argue with anyone in our group. I truly thought I would be the peacemaker; the one who tried to put fires out. But after a summer with Vicki, I have to say, I was wrong! It honestly takes a lot to get me angry. As you can tell by the fight with Vicki at Watermark, even then I threw in the towel and bit my tongue. At that point, I was trying to salvage any chance at a friendship that there could be. Now, after eight months of filming and events, all I can say is just wait for the reunion show! At the reunion show, I didn't bite my tongue anymore because Vicki had already called me so many names. At the reunion show it was time for me to stand my ground. In San Fransisco, however, I was not even angry yet. At that point, it was simply communication. I was only trying to make a point, to tell her I was tired of endless badgering, but Vicki is impossible to talk to unless you are only LISTENING in the conversation. I know Vicki is claiming that I was wrong to address my issues with her at the lunch table, however, I refused to talk about it THREE TIMES. I even said that I thought we should discuss it later. Vicki was the one who would not allow the conversation to end, which is evident by her statement, "Bring it on!" What ceases to amaze me is that SHE demanded to talk about it, yet she could not finish what she started ... and had to run out of the restaurant crying instead. Point made.
I also know Vicki called me a hypocrite because I prayed for her daughter, Briana, after fighting with Vicki. I told the ladies, "This is silly. This fighting isn't what life is about ... Life is about family. Briana is here, stuck in the middle of all of this, and SHE is what matters. I want to pray for her." So, I prayed for her. And in my opinion, there is NEVER a wrong time to pray. God hears you at all times, and prayers are answered. If that makes me a hypocrite, so be it. I'd rather be a praying hypocrite than a non-praying socialite.
As for Tamra being caught in the middle, never in a million years was I trying to drag Tamra into the middle of this argument and turn her against Vicki. As you all saw, Tamra mentioned numerous times she was tired of Vicki talking to us the way she did. I simply made Tamra accountable for what she had said. I know Tamra says she is friends with Vicki, and I will never stand in the way of that. However, I will hold you accountable for what you tell me.
Jim and I knew that calling ourselves Christians on national television would invite all kinds of scrutiny. As a result, we thought it would be helpful to ask our Pastor and his wife to breakfast for their guidance. Pastor Jentzen is so, so busy, but never too busy when you ask him for help. He is an amazing man. The morning he came to breakfast at our house, he gave us two great tips: 1. God can use you in ways you didn't even know you could be used. 2. There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. So when I reminisced about my fight with Vicki in San Fransisco, I realized I had not approached it the wrong way.
On to another topic. Anyone close to Gretchen knows that she and Slade are heading in the direction of marriage, so I think it is so important that they went to her parents for advice. I mean, who is more educated in marriage than a couple who've been married 39 years? I understand that Gretchen is scared, but at this point I think the only thing that will help alleviate some of those fears is my therapist! LOL. Seriously, it's important not to drag your past into your future! I cannot say that I am completely healed of this, but I am working on it daily. Gretchen simply has cold feet because she has been married before and fears the same troubles could occur in her second marriage. I think all of us with past relationships can relate to her concerns. However, Jim and I spend a lot of time with both Gretchen and Slade, and they are truly happy and in love. We love them and wish them nothing but happiness.
I want to end with my quote for the week, from William Shakespeare. "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none..."
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