Gretchen discusses her intervention with Alexa, Simon and Tamra's relationship troubles, and more.
Welcome back Real Housewife Fans! What a wonderful Holiday break I had! I was with Slade and my family in Bass Lake for 10 days! For Christmas and New Years! I sincerely hope all of you had a wonderful holiday as well!
2010 is here! And I could not be more excited! I finally feel refreshed, full of joy and beyond focused. God is so great and he has given me so many blessings, but not without a lot of lessons along the way. I am so grateful to my church, Saddleback, and Pastor Rick Warren for bringing so much light and wisdom to my ever-changing world these past few years. I hope everyone is as excited as I am as we enter into 2010!
This week’s episode is very much a rollercoaster ride if you ask me, well at least compared to the last episode we saw! By the way Florida was sooo much fun and I am so glad we all got along and I actually had fun with Tamra and the girls believe it or not! This episode we see renewed vows and strong church values mixed with kid’s emotions and troubles, and even talks of divorce. This is why I like our show, it deals with aspects of our lives that I think most people can relate with.
Since I didn’t get a chance to blog about Florida I want to clear up something since the show this week starts out with Vicki saying “thank you” to Donn for not coming to Florida and that it was supposed to be a "girls only" trip to Florida. That was never the premise that any of us “other women” were aware of, and to be clear I was never personally invited by Vicki to Florida. Being that we are on a show that takes up most of our time and a show that requires us to travel at times, it would only make sense that our significant others would be with us on some or most of those trips. The men coming on this trip should of never been a main part of the storyline and it got blown way of out proportion due to Vicki wanting to make a stink about it. Vicki for goodness sakes opted to go out with another couple the same night we all went on the boat trip (thus still being the third wheel as she professed she was absolutely NOT going to be with us woman on the boat.) To me that seems hypocritical and makes me wonder if she wanted to make a big show in front of the cameras. Then she continues by saying in this episode that she is trying to take the high road this year and stay out of the drama. If you ask me she created the drama that night. Slade DID surprise me and I was beyond thrilled that he cared enough about me and my emotional state to make it important enough to show up, but in no way was he being controlling or imposing. Slade and I do spend time apart when we need too, and don’t have “rules” if you will about that issue, but we would always rather be doing things together if we have the choice.
Now on another note I do think that the ceremony and gesture towards Donn was so wonderful and sweet on Vicki’s part. It made me very happy to see them happy again and to see Vicki finally treat her man with the respect and love he deserves. If they have truly worked through their differences and she has realized that she has something good with him, then good on them. However I do not believe that it gives her a right or reason to correct others or to act as though she knows everything when it comes to the way to treat a significant other. We all choose to behave and treat our partners differently, and we choose to conduct our relationships differently, her way is not what is right for everyone else. We all know she was definitely not a good example of how to treat a spouse last season. Let’s just hope the way she has recommitted herself to Donn this season is true and that it lasts. They seem very happy and back on the same page and that is what is important.
I love Alexis and Jim’s family and church values - it's so nice to see in this day and age. I value them as people and as dear friends. We have grown so close in our friendship and Slade and I hosted them at our church, Saddleback Church, a few weeks ago. It is so nice to have friends who can keep you accountable and grounded in this world. It doesn’t mean we will always agree on everything, but we are honest and supportive of each other and that is what I love so much about them.
Well, the next subject is very interesting to me because I have a lot of questions when it comes to Tamra and Simon’s talk outside. Not because I care to talk about them, but because they care to talk about me. First, if what is being written in the press today is true about Simon filing for divorce then I am so very sad that Tamra and Simon could not work out their differences for their children’s sake. There were some pretty harsh accusations being made on Simon’s part about Tamra in those papers. I bring this up because I think in tonight’s episode when Simon is talking about how happy they are, it is obvious that Tamra does not feel the same way. I thought “poor guy he has no idea." Then to hear Tamra say she "would leave him if it was just the two of them," WOW! That was a reprehensible remark if you ask me, I would be so devastated if I heard my spouse say that about me on national TV. We never truly know what goes on behind closed doors now do we though. For a very long time now I have heard lots of things about their marriage and I have chosen to stay out of it and not comment because it was none of my business. The only thing I knew for sure was that things were a little off because I was CC’d on an e-mail last January from Simon to Tamra titled “Your BS and Lies." It definitely made me question if their marriage was truly as solid as they tried to portray at times. No marriage is perfect but those were some pretty tough words to e-mail a spouse. I do believe that Simon loved Tamra almost to a fault and he tried to protect her, even from herself at times. From what I could see she would open her mouth about things without having all the facts and he would have to be behind her picking up the pieces. That to me is a man who stands by his woman, even when he knew she was wrong. Good on him for taking loyalty seriously.
This brings me to my next point about their conversation about me. I am completely confused on what it is that I did to him and his family as he states in his conversation with Tamra. This part of the show honestly made me laugh because they completely run themselves over with contradictions, and I don’t even think they know it. I seriously had to watch it over a couple of times to try to understand what in the heck they were talking about! Simon starts out by saying that, “I said things that were so nasty about Tamra and that were reprehensible," which is ironic because actually Tamra was the one that did that to me. I assume that the only problem Simon has with me is that I finally choose to speak about all the accusations that Tamra made about me in my blog on my website. I never considered those things to be nasty but rather just stating the truth from my point of view. I never called Tamra names or said nasty things I just pointed out inconsistencies and holes in their stories. I also really needed to write that blog for Jeff's sake. If Jeff were still alive they would have never gotten away with the stuff they have pulled.
Simon continues by saying that I "say one thing and do another," but unfortunately I am afraid he might be projecting his feelings towards his own wife on me. We have seen Tamra consistently doing this in many of the past episodes. Then I seriously laughed out loud when Tamra said that she would forgive me but not forget!!! For what? Seriously I must need a good slap across my face, can someone please tell me what in the world I ever did to this girl? With that said let me be clear, I certainly do NOT need to answer to them about anything let alone be forgiven by them for anything. And if you remember I told you guys that Tamra actually came to me finally and apologized for her actions while doing an E! segment, so something is very off to me in this conversation. Then Simon goes on saying, “I don’t want to be around people like that or be involved in their lives!” But they are the ones who continued to make false accusations about me, and then just recently challenged me to a lie detector test through press outlets and their blog, now if that is not contradictory I don’t know what is! News flash, you guys KEEP INSERTING YOURSELVES INTO MY LIFE, not the other way around! I really don’t care about what Tamra and Simon do, I don’t want to talk about them and never cared too, I don’t need to talk about them, I have way to many other things going on to discuss. I only speak about them when asked direct questions about their accusations about me, and if you notice majority of their interviews out there, they are always talking about me in some shape or fashion. Stop talking about me! You guys are making yourselves crazy!
Simon then ends their conversation by saying, “Someone that is like that is going to do it again and again; it’s in their nature." This is one thing I do agree with Simon about and I will take his advice and remember it when dealing with his wife. Ultimately they brought this on themselves and Simon needs to stop blaming everyone around him (Vicki, me, etc) for his wife's behavior, and take a good look at himself and the woman he married. However, despite all this I will be praying for them and their children because divorce is a very ugly thing and I don’t wish it on anybody ... even my worst enemy.
Next we see me reaching out to Alexa. Wow, how interesting to see this played out. First of all it barely shows what was truly discussed in that moment with Alexa and how much she opened up to me. What I do know is that I had heard her say on three different occasions that she was depressed and felt like she wanted to talk to someone. It was weighing on my heart and I decided to do something about it. Not because I think I am all knowing, but rather to be a responsible adult. I ALSO have a degree in Psychology and a minor in Family Studies and Child Development. I was trained through my schooling to be very aware of signs such as the ones Alexa was portraying and to not sit back and wait for the worst to happen but rather to be proactive and offer to listen.
I do believe I went about it the right way by first calling and ASKING Lynne if it was OK, and then letting her know that I was going to see if Alexa would open up a little more to me because I wasn’t her parent. I had told Lynne a couple of times I was worried about Alexa, but Lynne seemed to blow it off and I just figured she was the parent that didn’t want to see anything wrong. I had noticed her girls acting out by drinking and other sorts of behavior. I never once spoke an ill word to Alexa about Lynne or Frank and their ability as parents, even though I have my opinions about the way they choose to discipline their girls, and please do not be mistaken that I think I know how to raise a child because I do not have any of my own yet. I do however see many mentors out there able to change and help others simply by listening and caring, for example Oprah. I am not comparing myself to Oprah in any way, but I am saying that she does not have any children, but is constantly able to help children in need, young girls, teenagers, etc. by taking notice to their pain, hurt or signs of need. I don’t think you have the ability to be a good parent just because you pushed out a kid. I think it takes dedication, work, heartache, compassion and discipline in order to discipline your own kids. I only hope to be a good parent one day and I sincerely hope that if I have a child that is hurting or struggling that my dearest and closest friends might be able to point out or take notice when I am blind to it.
It was interesting to hear what Alexa had to say to her mom about me. Alexa specifically said to me at the store that "It’s hard cause sometimes I feel like there is no one there to talk to me,” but yet says something completely opposite to her mom and plays it off to Lynne that I was out of line? It was like they were in their own little world, and talking about stuff that never even happened. They said I was trying to talk to Alexa to take the pressure off of myself and make it about her ... HUH?? What the heck are they talking about? I actually went out of my way to say I have been in Alexa’s position before and I made some poor choices because of it and I was trying to avoid the same happening to her. For Alexa to say one thing to me and then say another to her mom about the interaction was very hurtful, but at the same time I can imagine that a child won’t tell their parent how they really feel. I know that Lynne knew where my heart was with Alexa because Lynne and I talked in detail about it. I also don’t know who Alexa and Lynne think they are kidding, but when they say “they talk all the time” in the gym we know that is bull honky because two episodes earlier Alexa is complaining about their communication together and then tells a therapist that she can’t talk to her mom at all anymore! Seriously, who are they kidding? I am not sure why Lynne would say she’s not sure if she can trust me now, when I came to her first before I went to talk to Alexa. She and I have not seen eye-to-eye this season and you will probably see more of that to come in future episodes. I will always have a soft spot for Lynne, but this was a very disappointing rift in our friendship.
Well I think that is about it for this week! I hope you guys are enjoying the season thus far. It should be interesting to see how all these things play out in the episodes to come and in our real lives to date.
I have some very exciting news to share with you guys next week! But I am also very nervous about the whole thing, it took a lot to get me to share it with the public!
I wish all our fans and viewers the best 2010 they could have full of love and blessings from above!