So with that said, let me explain a little more so you can understand. In the limo ride to Peggy's, Dylan (my makeup guy and friend) and I were dancing, singing, laughing. We were so excited to get there! We knew Gretchen was going with Jack, so we thought it would be a fun night. When I get to Peggy's, and someone asks me where Jim is, I suddenly realize I was not prepared to answer that question. For obvious reasons, I cannot say Jim didn't want to be around these women. So I quickly answered that he was working, which I knew was a lie, and instantly I felt my head spinning. What on Earth am I doing? Next, Peggy says to me, "He knew about this a month ago." I felt completely crushed. Here we are on camera, I'm not telling the truth, and my girlfriend is giving me the third degree! I did not know what to do at this point. So when you see me texting all night, I'm trying to figure out with Jim how I'm suppose to handle such a stinky situation, because I'm too emotional at this point to think clearly.
When we all sit down at the table, Gretchen leans over to see if I'm alright and I start tearing up, so I excuse myself to the ladies' room. When I think I have myself together I head back to the table, but when I see Gretchen again, I start crying again. I know everyone thinks I should just leave the party at this point, but I am not able to. So what am I suppose to do? I have no choice but to compose myself and make the best of the evening. When you hear me in the bathroom talking to Gretchen about how, "I can't do this anymore," I'm talking about lying. I'm talking about the fact that I want to tell those girls the truth, and I don't know what to do. When I say, "They don't know what's really going on, they don't know what stress I'm under," I'm again talking about handling the fact that Jim didn't want to be with those women. I'm trying to protect their feelings from the fact that Jim didn't want to be around them, and the fact that he wanted to take a break from the cameras that night. To make matters worse, I know the ladies are at the table laughing at me and talking about me. And where was my good friend, Peggy? My emotions got the best of me, and no matter how I tried to contain in, I couldn't get myself to regroup. Once I did come back to the table, I made the decision I would not let this ruin the rest of the evening. I decided to put on a happy face and move forward, although I felt completely betrayed by my "friends."
When I hear Peggy call Jim a jerk for not calling her and telling her himself, newsflash: Jim and I don't feel that's appropriate. I'm the girl, so I will be the one calling my girlfriend to tell her Jim isn't coming. Plus, why wouldn't she just be content that I came to the party, since I am her friend, not Jim.
I'm mortified at the behavior that went on at the dinner table. I don't understand it. Why would grown adults sit around and call people names, like "Munsters" and "Pee Wee Herman?" It's like the more someone cracked on someone else, the better they felt about themselves. Isn't that what kids do in high school? And why do people find pleasure in other people's hardship? It's all very sad to me. I don't think it's funny if other people cry. The fact that Donn and Micah are the two most involved in the name-calling completely shocked me. I've never seen grown men act like that.
Alexis you are becoming one of my favs along with G. I do not think that Peggy is real friends. She is more concerned about her dinner party and does not seem to care that you are having a bad night. You are not the type that does the drama trip and Peggy should know that and be a little more compassionate.
Hi Alexis, I had to laugh at the third comment about the "ball and chain". that is what they say about a woman. I like you when your out by yourself you seem more happier and smiling more. I know your love your hubby Jim, but something about him doesn't sit well with me, for starters he doesn't change the diapers and he lets you do all the work and doesn't do his fair share of the chores not cool at all.
I just want to say that I adore you! You seem to be a fun loving person! I do think that it is pure evil that it seems that Tamra loves to always say such negative things about people. She seems to always have something to say about anything anyone on the show does. I know you are a christian woman, as am I. Tamra needs to be prayed for. Keep your head held high. You are a beautiful woman, mother and wife. Take care.
I am amazed to see so many comments on all the other housewives blogs, but not yours. I'm wondering if people feel bad for your, are they afraid to speak their mind, or do they just not know what to say to you. I have always thought that you were a class act. I think your marriage to Jim is unhealthy and you are going to be burned out in a few years when he isn't the center of your attention 24/7. Just my opinion, I believe that you spiraled out of control at the party because you lied and that is out of your norm so you didn't know what to do. I can relate to that. I don't blame Jim for not wanting to go to the party, it's a circus when Vicki and Tamara are involved. They were very rude and disrespectful. I do agree with them that you are capable of having a 2 hour dinner without your husband, but they were just the mean girls at the table and it was rude. I hope that things work out for you and Jim and I love how you handle yourself on camera without attacking, smack talking, and being disrespectful.
Yes, everyone at the table was poorly behaved-and just to recap it was Gretchen's assistant and her who began the drama by making the snide comments about Eddie. I guess Gretchen forgot the that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and somehow felt that Slade should be off limits. That being said-your behavior was ridiculous. Obviously, this is a very special party to Peggy and her husband and they put a lot of thought and effort into it-you are the one who seems insensative by not recognizing their disappointment when instead of hosting a good friend they end up with their guests bringing the hired help. I'm just not buying this story you are spinning. You admitted that your husband and you spend time apart and even at times travel apart-really the level of drama you were bringing does not equal a dinner party apart. If the show is causing so much upset in your life and marriage, you should seriously reconsider your contract. I think there were much serious issues going on between yourself and your husband, but for some reason you need to make it look like your marriage is perfect. Isn't this reality TV? The reality is that every marriage has fights and ups and downs-I think you would have gotten a lot more support and sympathy, had you just admitted this. It is really hard to feel sympathy for a grown women with a business and children who is carrying on for hours over her husband not coming to dinner with her. My husband is also my best friend and we love to spend time together, and I simply cannot imagine ever having that type of reaction to him not wanting to attend a social event with me. There is a fine line between be devoted and dependent in a marriage. You have either crossed way over that line, or are simply not being honest about what really was happening between you and Jim that night.
You are so quick to discuss they behavior of Tamra and Vicki but what about your best Gretchen? She had some not nice things to say as well before the other parties started commenting. Double standards? I think so!
Alexis, it is great that you are so crazy about your husband and if doesn't like the group, that's OK, too. I just can't imagine crying about it over and over--be strong! Every time you talk about him, you remind me of a 1950s housewive--so dependent. You set us back 50 years every time you talk about being busy with him.
Alexis, I like you more this season then last. I think you have grown a lot as a person and your relationship has evolved as well. I like seeing you as a hands on mom, and now as a business woman. Good For you and your right about Tamara she wishes the worst for everyone because she is probably not happy with her own life so she always always picks on everyone else. She needs to fix herself before she ends up alone. Also, I can't believe welcomed her into your beautiful home and all she did was rip you and your home apart, can you say jealous! I like the fact you openly said you got a modification like many of us in America we have gone through some hardship but continue to hold it together as best we can!
Alexis, I admire you for your ability to rise out of a negative situation. I felt so bad for you because the women were being so mean, unsupportive, and bullying. It was so disgusting to witness the men make fun of others, especially Micah, making fun of your guest?!! He really showed his immaturity. Enough about that!!
You have every right to feel the way you feel about your husband. Not every marriage is the same, so people can say what they want, but they just don't understand and you shouldn't have to explain yourself. When I feel attacked I ask God to send my Warrior Angels to protect me from harm, and that includes the harm from others in their words and actions. I pray that God will continue to bless you and your family. You are the nicest housewife and I love seeing you every week!
I wasnt' a fan last year. But this season, you are more down to earth. Wow, your friend, Peggy was mean and so was her husband. More than anything I hate when a man is disrespactable to anothr woman. What does that say about the man?
Alexis, if Gretchen needs Slades help right now, then "bottom line" maybe she should pay him a salary so he can afford his child support. It seems that you are defending Jim, just as Tamra used to defend Simon. Also, you say that Tamra continues to wish failure and unhappiness on other people? I think you need to take a look in the mirror; you have done the same to Peggy.
Look...nobody died...it was a dinner party and you were a guest...act appropriately. As adult women, any times we may be upset about a situation but we don't carry it into all aspects of our lives. Grow up and toughen up.
Stay positive, rise above the ones who have failed marriages. You're doing great. Change is good but hard. Stay focused and at the end of the day, make yourself happy.
Hi there, to begin with I dont believe you stated anywhere in your blog that you and Jim had a fight. Therefore why people are posting that here or in any other blog is completely off. You said your part, ppl should not assume. Also what I dont get is why bring in Religion? What Peggy stated on you being a good christian? Who is she to pass judgement? I thought she was going to be another one of my faves but no.. A bit of a brown noser I think. Tamara and Vicki .. its a hopeless case with those really... Gretchen and you are the best.. take care..
Alexis I know how you feel about doing things without your husband. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and the only time that we aren't together is when he or I am at work. If Peggy was a true friend she would have known how out of your element you were without Jim. But you could have told Peggy that Jim was very sorry for not coming and that you would talk to her later. Surely after she saw how Vicki and Tamra were acting like high school bad girls she would have understood why he didn't want to be there. But Jim could have called Micah a couple days earlier to let them know he was not attending there party. Vicki and Tamra act like the kids that my son goes to school with and I'm always telling him that there home life isn't very good so it really bugs them when others around them are happy. So they will find that one button that can be pushed to hurt you. We really need to pray for those bullies that enjoy hurting people.
Alexis - the way your relationship with your husband is, is your own business and no one else's. It is no one's business, no one's, to comment on, criticize, approve or disapprove of your lifestyle. They do not have to live it, they are not you. No two people are alike and we all have our own way of getting thru this life. If you are living your life everyday trying not to hurt anyone else and not judging, but instead living your life in service as Jesus instructed - then you are doing just great.
You know better than anyone that lying never, ever works...not even when (and maybe especially so) our intentions are to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Sometimes the truth hurts, sometimes it is awfully painful, but always it is the best option. I know we don't always see or hear everything that goes on even though this is a reality show - the human condition is much too complicated to try to capture in one hour a week. As it appears though, the truth did come out why Jim optioned not to attend Peggy's dinner party and it came out in a way that frankly could have been handled much, much better.
I have to agree with Peggy that she and her husband should have gotten a phone call prior to the night of the party. As the invitation was issued a month earlier, I am sure that you did not just discover your husband's feelings about the matter the very night of the party. Your relationship is too close for that. I do agree though that due to the fact that Peggy is YOUR friend you should have been the one to make the phone call. That was your responsibility. It simply was the right thing to do. Peggy and Micah went to a great deal of trouble and expense to throw what seemed to be a beautiul dinner party and whenever you put so much of yourself into something it is disappointing when invitees do not show up. It is a normal response and one you should not have interpreted as non supportive of your friend. Sorry to say, but you were not being supportive nor gracious by lying to your hosts.
Truthfully if Peggy is the friend you have described her to be, then though it unarguably would have been an uncomfortable conversation, you should have called Peggy well in advance and graciously explained that while you and your husband appreciated the invitation and while you and he had no issues with Peggy and Micah, but in fact appreciated your friendship, your husband found it very uncomfortable to associate with the other women because of their cattiness, backstabbing and all around inappropriate behavior. That he simply was uncomfortable in that atmosphere and would rather not run the risk of any untoward incident at their dinner party. If Peggy is who I think she is (and she seems the most grounded of all of the other wives), I believe she would have accepted your husband's position, welcomed you to attend in any case and assisted you in navigating through the sharks, namely Tamra and Vicki. Then you could have said that Jim had another committment and that would have been that. Vicki and Tamra being the way they are, would have put their own spin on it anyway, but at least this way you would have had both Peggy as well as Gretchen in your corner. They both would have had your back and you would have been much more able to handle the other girls' garbage.
You are an incredibly giving and caring person Alexis and you seem to empathize with others - you were the only one who showed up after Peggy's surgery with food and support. People remember those who "show up." You seem to care about others feelings. Give your friends a chance to be your friends. I think Peggy may surprise you.
Finally whatevever your financial situation is, don't be afraid to be honest. There is a lot of press out there, negative as well as positive. Know that the truth will always come out - why not let it come from you so you can control the spin. People will repect you immensely for it. They will even commend you. My prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for allowing me my two cents.
When you walked into the dinner party, you should have told the truth about why Jim wasn't there. Maybe Vicki & Tamra would have gotten the hint.
We all could say coulda, should, woulda, but in the end it won't matter. You lied and you owned it. Moving on. I respect that you put yourself out there and stand up for yourself in the best way you know how.
Alexis, I am a big fan ! You have brought values, morals and much needed class to this show, which Tamra and Vicky have always lacked. They also have no integrity.I am disappointed in Peggy for talking about how you ruined her dinner party. Really Peggy? Was she serious? She should have told Vicky and Tamra, set them straight that THEY were NOT to behave like that.If she was a TRUE FRIEND, she would have gone to you, taken you inside and aksed you why you were upset. that's what a friend does'; they show CONCERN. Someone with CLASS would have done exactly that. You are someone your kids can look up to with PRIDE and say that's my mom. Always keep true to yourself and your marriage Alexis. Please don't fall into the Vicky/Tamra ignorance.
Alexis, I understand if your husband did not want to go to the dinner but why didn't you just go with Gretchen? That would have made more sense than to take a stranger to an intimate dinner party!
I am a huge fan of yours BUT I gotta say I am not buying the tears because you had to lie for Jim story...hmmmm what really went down that night?
Alexis- I totally love you and love that you are on the show. Although I understand and do sympathize with you about the party and agree with you....I do not agree that you bash on Vicki and Tamra but fail to see that Gretchen was sitting there talking trash about Eddie with her assistant....so loud that they could be heard...isn't that tacky? Not to mention that Gretchen was sort of stirring the pot about telling you to "go confront them". I think that all the high school drama is affecting EVERYONE on the show and that needs to be addressed, friends and foes...BUT I do love you and you are def my favorite housewife!! I can't wait for your dress line!!!
You've never seen grown men involved in name calling? Guess you missed Gretchen's friend/companion that night in all his nasty glory??
Alexis, from one christian woman to another, rise above these catty women on the show! it sounds like they're jealous of your stabile marriage. As Kandi from the real housewives of atlanta sings on her song fly above..fly above these haters...let them put all the salt they want on your name..in the end you're the bigger person and as Vicki has continuously said thru every season...take the high road and dont give into these catty women. Just pray for them
You shouldn't have lied a/b where Jim was on the night of Peggy's Dinner Party. You should have just told the truth & not worried about other peoples feelings. It was pretty obvious that the ladies (excluding Gretchen) were not concerned about you or your feelings. I found it completely rude that Peggy told you basically to suck it up or get out - Peggy & Micah are not your friends. I really cannot believe how some people act on national television - they must have no shame at all. Stay Strong & Good Luck!
I was never a fan of yours, in fact, last year I couldn't stand you. I have completely changed my opinion. I respect your views on marriage, and if everybody had your attitude, we could totally wipe out divorce.
They are mean girls and you are right, no matter what you do, they will put you down. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Keep your head up and ignore the low, classless, rude remarks of others. Their behavior was despicable.
Your story doesn't add up. You were that upset over Jim not wanting to be around the women? Your story has massive logic problems. Come clean. Bravo will air the full bathroom conversation footage at the reunion, I hope, and expose your lies.
You were emotional - it happens. Tamara is a total disaster! Hate that you were subjected to that.... Glad Gretchen was there for you! Love you & G!!
Alexis - I was definitely not a fan of yours last year. I have to admit I'm warming up to you somewhat, but while you're being honest don't leave Gretchen out when you talk about the trash talking. Unless editing had things happening out of order - and by the appearance of the table it did not appear that it did - Gretchen and her friend were the first to make fun by saying Eddie was found in a catalogue. She's your friend - doesn't mean her behavior was any more acceptable than theirs.
The only other comment I have is that it is impolite to show up at a dinner party with an unexpected guest. I assume you and Gretchen were invited with your partners, not the two of you being invited with plus ones? That being the case, each of you should have called Peggy ahead of time and told her that Jim/Slade were unable to attend, and to ASK if it would be okay if you brought someone in their place.
I hope we get to see more of you with your children as the season progresses. They are adorable and it's nice to see you interacting with them.
You reference that Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, has a natural, warm, elegance. Do you think if she had an argument with her William prior to an event she would go and act a fool? Alexis, you are too beautiful to show your dark sides on tv. We all have good and bad days - as does the new princess, but when you are in a public spotlight, always put your best foot forward - no matter what the circumstances, no matter the behavior of all the people around you - your behavior reflects on you. Keeping it real doesn't mean letting out all your emotions out for the world to see - it's about being a real example of the true woman you are. With all the beauty that you have in you and around you - that is what you should let shine - it is the adversary who does not want you to shine and draws up circumstances to bring out the dark, not your light. In all things give praise, and in all things let your beauty and light shine.
Alexis, I think Tamra sees in you, what she was a couple of years ago, instead of thinking that the woman is jealous, maybe you should try to see her point. It is your marriage, but just know that like Tamra, at some point, you are gonna wish that Jim is just a little less controlling, and that you are a little more independent. Try to learn a little from Tamra's story, because the fact that she sees similarities in yours and Jim's marriage to hers and Simon's is not a good thing.
Alexis, I like you more this season. I think your true colors "shine through", and you seem like a very sensitive, kind-hearted person. I wish you & your family the best. Sorry that the others were so vicious. It was like you fell into a shark tank.
Love you Alexis! Please don't give those women a second thought. They aren't worth it. Tamra and Vicki are the mean girls and they act like petty and jealous school girls. It's hard to watch.
Overall, I thought this night left everyone in a poor light. Yes, the girls were out of line. But yes, you seemed to overreact to your husband not wanting to come to a dinner party. I hope things get better with you all this season... I have found it hard to watch.
While I don't have a favorite on the RHOC, I have to say "thank you" for voicing that your husband is your best friend and at the end of the day, you'd rather be with him and have him by your side. I've been married just a few years and in my early 20's and I get so much cr@p for wanting to be with my husband. Most call it the "newlywed" phase. If a person looked forward to not spending time with their spouses, I think they would have to re-evaluate their relationship (Vicki? Tamara?). Anyways, I know it was your breaking point (crying), but rise above the garbage and be strong, girl. Don't let them get you at your lowest point.
Im glad you stuck to your guns and came back to the table and enjoyed the rest of the evening. Because Tamara's marriage fell apart last year and Vicki's is falling apart this year, they have to direct their downfall onto someone else. Its very sad and I think you are right...we need to pray for them. To get enjoyment by making fun, telling lies and specutlation is childish and I pray for their kids, becasue after seeing their mother's act so disgracefully, it will be hard for them to understand. I respect you and Jim and the way you hold your marriage in high regard. Maybe if Tamara or Vicki did the same, they might not be acting like 16 year olds. Stay true to yourself and let the others gossip all they want. It usually comes around.
So Vicki has a boyfriend named Brooks? It seems to me that you might have revealed that just to be petty. Is this news or did you intentionally make it news? Just curious since you are continually on your soap box regarding rumors, gossip, and vindictive behavior.
Alexis, I do agree with you that the name calling and the comments were rude and unnecessary. I don't understand why Tamara and Vicki have to gossip instead of flat out asking you (or others) what the truth is. You can't believe everything you read in the paper and if you can't support your friends when they are down (financially or legally or any other way) then you really aren't a true friend.
I am sick of hearing about how hard Vicki works!! It's like she is defined by her job not who she is. And who is she to talk about people who work while her Husband is at home not working more than he is working. Vicki is not happy unless someone is miserable and she beats Donn down every chance she gets. She doesn't understand your relationship with your husband because she is running away from her husband every chance she gets. Either running to work or on work trips or just on vacation without him. I believe I heard that her and Donn are now divorced and I feel Happy for Donn hopefully he will have peace and joy in his retired years. I personally wouldn't want to be friends with someone who expects me to make things up to her by "courting" her by taking her on expensive vacations after a misunderstanding. I think Tamara should have been able to say "I'm sorry you felt I didn't have your back last year. Things have changed and I am a different person now lets move on." Count yourself lucky you don't have to buy her friendship because you would be BROKE (financially and emotionallY)!!
Don't let the caddy comments get you down too much!! Gretchen is a super cool chick and I am glad she stayed by your side. I believe she is truely a beautiful person and I think you and her will have a great, lasting, honest friendship based on mutual respect and you are very lucky to have her in your corner and she is lucky to have you in hers.
Alexis, I understand why you were upset. It doesn't matter though, Peggy should have been concerned for her friend. Instead she told you to compose yourself or leave. A friend doesn't do that. You and Gretchen are my favorites,so I hope that you remain good friends. I wouldn't even waste my breath on Tamra ,she isn't worth it. She talks about class but has none. Peggy seems to be the one changing because she is on tv. I would move forward smiling.
I actually understand what happened at the party. Having to show up somewhere without your Husband who makes things more fun is hard. Plus you were dining in a combat zone. I think the new girl is not a good friend to you. I admire that you admitted the mistake and moved on. Tamra seams to be very mean spirited, and a hypocrite.
I think Peggy was right with what she said. Jim should have called prior to not coming. Dont think it was right for you and Gretchen to bring people uninvited
You are a very sweet & genuine person !!! not to mention gorgeous .... much love & blessings to you !!! Love the way you rise above !! God Bless !!
I have been in that kind of situation. My husband takes a stand- I feel obligated to go- I feel torn between my obligation and having to justify my husband's choice not to go (which you should never have had to do!). You were in a no-win situation. Jim had already experienced this circus act and he was wise not to go. Alexis- next time take Jim's lead and don't go either. I can't believe you took so much grief over this. You were hit with the guilt trip right out of the gate- and we all knew you were gonna catch heat the rest of the night. Seems when Jim isn't there you are fair game for this group. What kind of host/ess allows this to go on. They were supposed to be your friends- even if they were disappointed that Jim wasn't there- they should not have treated you like dirt. Really makes one want to attend another one of their parties, huh. I know that you wouldn't have treated Peggy that way if she was having an off or emotional night...
First off, you comment of "Vicki knows what Jim does for a living because her boyfriend just had lunch with him the other day"....this show was taped before Vicki had a boyfriend that had lunch with your husband.....Did your husband cry uncontrollably throughout that lunch because you weren't there???? Alexis, you're one of the best housewives. I have never had a problem with you needing to be so interconnected with your husband. You love him! One woman's "controlling husband" is another woman's "loving husband". If you don't feel controlled by Jim and you love how your relationship is, then no need to heed other people's opinion on the matter. It's your marriage, your husband and your life. If you're happy, to heck with everyone else. On to Gretchen...I agree that she's your truest friend of the housewives. I would have done for my girlfriend exactly what she did for you. I would have been right there beside her trying to comfort her in what she thinks is a bad situation. I have qualms about that. She's a good friend to you and you deserve at least one good friend, as does she. But when she and her assistant started the bad comments about Eddie WITHIN EARSHOT, I thought that was distasteful. I've been watching the show for about 3 seasons now and actually Eddie is one of the nicest people I've ever seen on the show. He is a very very polite human being and it was not fair for Gretchen and her friend to take jabs at him simply because he dates a woman she doesn't like. For the record, Eddie tries to keep Tamra in line. He really does, so he does NOT deserve the disrespect from anyone. So that being said, please don't follow in her footsteps. I do understand yours and Gretchen's feelings about Tamra, but Eddie is not like her at all. He just loves her, he's not like her. So as much as I love watching your commentary and remarks and reading your blog, I really hate that you didn't think it not a nice thing to do for Gretchen to start all the drama in the first place. You should have directed a mild comment about it. So now it just looks like you can judge Vicki and Tamra for their behavior but Gretchen's behavior is just fine. Not cool! You are better than that!