Welcome back for Episode 4!
I think it was courageous of Peggy to come out and talk about her postpartum and the issues and struggles she has had with that. I know that is a very sensitive topic and a lot of moms suffer from this. I can only hope by her talking about it, it will encourage a lot of other mothers who are secretly suffering to realize it is OK, it's normal, and you can get past it. We all struggle with something in our lives. The more honest and real we can be about those things, those mistakes, and those tribulations the more we can grow as people and be the best we can be. Some days I wonder if being on this show is worth it, because of all the scrutiny, false press at times, and judgments about the way we choose to live our lives, but then when I receive emails from so many people saying that they can relate to my situation or thanking me for sharing my story because it really helped them, I know it is worth it. I hope this is the case with Peggy's struggle as well.
I think Tamra and Vicki's trip was hilarious and made me laugh a lot. It was fun to see them get along with no backstabbing going on. I'm proud of Vicki for sticking to her guns regarding Tamra stabbing her in the back and saying she was owed an apology. I don’t think Tamra had her back as she always claimed to. That is honestly part of the reason I never trusted Tamra. If she was willing to do the things and say the things she said about her "friends," I knew she was capable of other things with people she didn't like. To be honest Vicki and Tamra's relationship is very confusing to me at times. As an outsider looking in, I don't believe they have the most authentic friendship, however I hope that the "truths" between them can remain true. Unfortunately, Tamra has become transparent to me. She says she has changed and is in a better place and doesn't have time for the fighting anymore. However in previews to come you see her flip out on Jeana and even throw wine in her face, we see he being a "friend" to Alexis' face but saying some pretty harsh things about her marriage behind her back, and now saying things about her desire to start a dress line. Tamra claims she said things and did things because of Simon and the place she was in her marriage, but Simon is gone now and she continues to be that same woman. I continue to see her project all her own issues onto everyone else around her. She tells Alexis that Jim is just like Simon, and that they are headed for divorce, and in this episode we see her encouraging Vicki to flirt with the man in the pool stating, "He is your soulmate," when she is still married to Donn.
I actually really wanted to make amends with Tamra, because I think she is a fun girl, but unfortunately the more I see who she really is, the more I question what value she would bring to me life. I am happy and content in my life right now, I have thriving businesses, an amazing family, meaningful friendships, and a quality relationship with Slade. Unfortunately besides her being just fun, I think I would be signing up for:
1. Talking badly about others
2. A bad influence
3. A backstabbing friendship
No thanks! Check please!
Gretchen, Maybe marriage is ok. I think: Date who you like, not whom others like. In my opinion (Only) I would not marry Slade. Someone else *will* come along ;)
i love you gretchen you are so awsome and i love you on housewives of orange county and i always watch the show. it would be cool to meet you gretchen ..
your fan brittany S.
I agree. I really liked Gretchen's positive nature and great sense of humor last season. Now you have let this show change you into something, I don't think you were before. (example, the old Gretchen wouln't have said" pay backs a bitch) I don't think you are that typw of person. You can get back on track! Please do, you were super lovable before.
I jus wanna say that i think you are a very beautiful person and you have a kick ass personality, i think you take alot of crap of the other house wives u shouldnt have to, you only live once and u should live life the way you want and u were not put here to please anyone else but urself, and if you please other people its becuz u want to not becuz you have to, i love you and u go gurl, walk on wit ur bad self lol..
I don't know what to say, I do think I like you better last year. It does seem odd that Slade has dated three housewives and I belive Slade wants the air time. I believe you are in love with Slade but love true love is unconditional, when you don't have kids and a true mate things can be conditional. Maybe you feel unconditional love for you pets you should relate that to your relationship. If Slade was the one their would be no second guessing. If you are in a place where marriage and kids are your number one priorty I would think that Slade is just a fun friend with benefits. Stop spending your energy talking about Tamera you need to let go. Everyone gets hurt but you can not contro what people say just how you decide to deal with them. Your energy is wasted talking poorly about anyone. Critisim is the eaisest thing to do and you should be above that. I think you should be on your own date Slade and go out with other men, their are many soul mates on this earth. We are human and aline with many.
As far as Slade is concerned, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. He is nothing but trouble. If you have to ask your Dad what he thinks, then obviously you know he is not right for you. Do you want to support him the rest of your life?
Hey Gretchen, Go ahead and marry Slade, don't have children, draw up a prenuptial agreement and watch your back. Past behavior can be a reliable indicator of future behavior.
I lOVE YOU you are smart not to jump into anything right now. ride out the cancer scare with slades son. he is too vulnerable to really know what he wants. emotions are too raw to be rational. when you are ready to marry you want question it you'll just know. from what i see on the show I have to say i'm not a slade fan but i truely feel that if he loves you he'll wait. no questions asked. he needs time to heal about his sons issues right now and focus only on him. all will be right when its time
I was married once. Once was enough.
Do what you need to do for you. Screw the others. None of the women on this show will be in your life 10 years from now so let all the crap go and just be you.
Love your handbags BTW. Keep on building your empire. Reminds me of what Tori Spelling went thru.
Keep the open relationship with your family. They will be the people there for you in the 10 years when the others aren't.
I am taking your words to heart. I really needed to know that I'm not alone in dealing with my personal grief after losing a dear loved one or the different pespective it has given me about what is truly important in life. Thank you for the unselfish act of passing on wonderful, meaningful advice on a site that sometimes doesn't use it's powers for the greater good. It was really needed and is truly appreciated. God Bless :0)
You want to make amends with Tamra but are willing to attack her???? As for Slade, dump him. He is not a long term option.
Dear Real Housewives of Orange County,
I enjoy watching your Show. Because, it is all about Relationship and how different people interact and solve their problems throughout life. But, I think all of you should get some perspective. Friendships should be held near and dear to your heart. And all of you need to to cherish each other.
Although, I do not like Gretchen. There is something certainly strange about her behavior.
But, Vicki is at the top of my list. Vicki is Mature and knows how to carry herself. And also a business women with real initiative. And also, I like that she renewed her vows with her husband. Vicki has her act together. And giving Tamra another chance I would just watch out.
I think that Tamra is moving way too fast with that Eddie guy after her divorce from Simon. And I am afraid that she is going to get hurt again. Take life slow! Focus on going to Therapy, your children and your Real Estate Job.
Also, I like Alexis for your devotion to Jesus. And her spirituality. And that both she and her husband are raising their children in a Christian home. And that she is also starting her own dress line, too. That is being creative!
I wish all three of you all of the best.
Your very best Fan, Louise Kosh from Greenwich, Connecticut
I think your awesome in this program i watch it all the time in England, I think you have to say I think most of the other girls are so jealous of you I wish you good luck in business all the best
I think I'm going to faint, as I'm sitting down. One of my comments FINALLY posted, wow! I'm a big fan of yours, not so much Vicki & Tamra. Glad to see you're speaking your mind, don't let those two mean girls get to you! Proud of you!
Gretchen, I found you to be very fresh and relatable on the first seasons of Housewives but, unfortunatlely when viewing recent shows, I believe your ego became too big for your head. Your silly ramblings and caustic laughter transformed you from a lovable person to a spoiled child.
Keep it real
Hey Gretchen, I'm From England And I have been watching 'The real housewives of Orange County' since it has been playing on a English Chanel, It's only upto season 3 but I want to get this chance to tell you that I think you are an amazing girl/Lady I found it awful how the other girls such as Vikki and Tamra were very twofaced about you and Lynne, I thought you and Lynne both always handled your selfs very well around both of them. I may need to watch season 4 5 and 6 but at this moment I do think your my faveorite house wife. Even though they all think your fake and attension seeking I believe you are yourself and that the Vikki and Tammra are both just very bitter towards you. I hope your doing well after your loss. I may just need to say that Jeana Is lovely too. I hope you get time to read this, and that I love you and think you are amazing and that I will look up to you when I am older (Only 17 now) and think that Is what I want to look like at your age. Super amazing.
Gretchen, I LOVE YOU....but you got to let this thing go with Tamra already. it really doesnt make you look any better. sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and let it go first. im not saying be her bestfriend just stop talking about it because its really getting old and im starting to feel like im watching last season all over again.
I like your stories best when they do not include bashing Tamra. Frankly, she does a good job of making a fool of herself...all by herself!!!
I watch the show all the time and I'm actually flying out to Newport Beach this Thursday from Chattanooga, TN for a job interview. If I ever ran into one of you on the street, I think I would freak out.. haha!! :0)
Gretchen, If you are asking your Dad advice about getting married to Slade I would take that as a sign that right now in your life you don't want to either be married or you just don't want to marry Slade. If he is the right one you would't be asking your Dad if you should get married. You also have to think about do you want to have a child with somebody you may not love forever or not have a child with somebody you waited for and found true love. Whatever you decide I hope you find happiness.
Gretchen, it's good to see that you've been going for grief counseling. When season two began, you seemed determined to move on, but anyone who has nursed a loved one through a terminal illness knows that you don't, you can't move on that quickly. It haunts you. You looked and seemed very brittle, and it was clear that you were numb. I'm glad for you that you are now putting time into facing that and into healing.
Your dad seems like an amazing guy. The thing he said that struck me as so powerful--and so relevant--was that you have to ask yourself, "If I'm on my deathbed, will this person be there holding my hand?" I watched my own dad take care of my mom through her terminal illness when I was in high school, and it gave me a strong sense of what to look for in a mate. I don't ever want to settle for less than the devotion he showed my mom; don't you settle for less than the devotion you gave to Jeff.
And, baby girl, I've been Team Gretchen since day one. So have many of us. We see and recognize who and what Tamra is, and we've seen her true colors all along. Anyone who doesn't at this point, isn't going to. Let her go. You're carrying her around with you and wasting valuable emotion and energy on her. Let that Christian upbringing guide you toward forgiveness. It's the most emotionally healthy thing for you. Hopefully at some point you can pity her and Vicki--they judge others because they don't want to look closely at themselves. Pray for them, and hand them over. Then get on with your life.
And I miss seeing you with Jeff's kids. I always got the impression they brought out the very real you.
If you don't want to get married, then don't. Some people are not marriage material, and that is perfectly fine. I myself am married 24 years this fall, with a 21 year old son and an 18 year old daughter, and I am very happy. Not blissful, but very happy. It's psychotic to be totally blissful every day and to always look for the brass ring every day, it doesn't exist. I think you are hoping for some miracle to arise. You are a big girl, so be one. I have unmarried friends and I value them just the same. Don't want marriage? Fine, no biggie, but own it, BUT, be a big girl and stop lashing out at Slade because he wants committment. Whether or not he is a catch or a shady character as some have stated, I haven't a clue, and frankly, it's nobody's business. However, if you are the one to commit to him under God, before family, and for life, then so be it. If you don't want to get married, then tell him once and for all and let the chips fall where they may, he will survive. When you marry and have children, you love them more than yourself, you put your pride away, listen always, and never take them for granted. Keep Alexis close to you. She is getting horrible bs from others and it is not fair, why, because she is beautiful and may have her %$#@ together??? Well, hell yeah! Good heart and soul she has. She is a great friend and ally, and she is a brilliant lesson to a happy marriage, not a perfect one, but a work in progress, which is the rest of us married with children men and women. Good luck to you and stay well.
Gretchen, I feel the need to defend you after reading all of these blogs. I understand somewhat why you still feel the need to lash out at Tamra. Life is hard enough and when you feel like a toxic person is sabatoging you, it can be traumatic. Sometimes forgiveness is a journey. Maybe more time needs to go by. Maybe you need to settle this lawsuit you are invovled in. At any rate, I hope that you can eventually forgive Tamra. She is obviously a negative and ungracious person (at times her actions have been downright vile). However, you will be a better, happier person when bitterness twords her or any looser ex-boyfriend of yours is no longer a part of you. Keep on rockin:)
I think you have EVERY RIGHT to say whatever you want about Tamra. She spent 2 seasons saying whatever she wanted about you! There is something wrong in our society, when people can do rude things to others, and if you fight back, you're the mean one! Not so, Tamra and her floppy va-jay-jay deserve it.
It's clear that the reason you don't want to marry Slade is because you are unsure of the relationship. It's ok, you can still love someone and be unsure about marrying them. He's got alot of baggage and a son that has cancer... you went through that, and you'd be signing up to go through that again. It's still a fresh wound.
We can all see you and Tamara will never be best friends. But Tamara just says what everyone else is thinking. Jim does come across as controlling, most people think so and that doesn't make Tamara a horrible person for noticing. You've never explained the pictures of yourself in comprimising positions during the period you were engaged to Jeff. Tamara again points this out what everyone else has seen and that doesn't make her your enemy. Tamara is alot of things but she is brutally honest even with herself. I haven't seen this honesty in you yet regarding your past. You deflect it instead. Come clean and move on.
Listen to your Dad.... they always know best! If Slade was right for you, there would not be an ounce of hesitation on your part, not even a blink! No one is perfect, but you'd know in your gut, CLEARLY you are on the fence. RED FLAG.... move on, you deserve better!
Please please stop discussing Tamra in your blogs. We get it , we can all see it, she is not a nice person, and if she is then she is in a bad place. I really believe last year she was and she still is . You can have all the fun in the world with a new love, but still be bitter in your heart towards your EX. It can take a long time to get past those feelings and thoughts. Until she does , she will continue talking trash about others because she still has hate in her heart. By you continuing to point it out, brings you down to her level . Be the girl we all know you are and get past your issues with Tamra , you don't have to like her, you don't have to trust her, but you have to move on . : )
YOU have defended yourself against Tamra's accusations enough, the more you blog about it the less believable you become! As far as the Slade relationship, you said that by the time you were 27 you had faced more than most might face in a lifetime......I don't necessarily agree with you but even if true you shouldn't punish Slade or anyone else for your insecurities. It's actually very selfish and you don't wear it well!
For years and years I have been saying basically the same thing about marriage. It ought to be like a drivers license. You have to have the marriage license renewed every 4 years!!! How funny!!
You say you were raised in a strict Christian home, so you know being married isn’t just what society says it is what the Bible says. And I understand being gun shy about marriage, but asking God to lead you to what is right is what is important. And yes you may love Slade, but be honest with yourself and pray about it and you probably will see the answer to your marriage “dilemma”. This is your relationship and only you and him know what will work for you and you cannot worry about other divorces and other people when dealing with something this strong and big. If it feels right and dammit you know it than maybe it is time to do it or leave it. Good luck and I don’t mean this to come off rude if it does. : )
The fact that every week you find time in your life to write a page in your blog about Tamara is disturbing. Let IT GO! I used to like you in the past seasons but your attitude this season is silly and unbecoming. When I don't like someone, I don't talk about them, period, i don't say anything negative because I refuse to waste my time and energy to talk about them. Hence, they are not that important, move on. Everyone on that show has talked behind each others back and done some backstabbing. It's the way most women operate!
Gretchen, I have to say I do agree with the comment above about being sarcastic and just a tiny bit negative, however, I can also understand why you would become that way. You have taken some hard hits from some mean and ugly people on that show. I hope you can shake their bad energy and get back to the happy no-one bothers me kind of lady you are. Don't let those bitches change you.
You still make me laugh and I adore how you love life. You seem to be a really good person. Best wishes to you!
Gretchen, From the beginning, you were my favorite housewife. You seem fun, understanding and someone I could be friends with. This season seems to have brought out the worst in you. I know Tamra annoys you and you don't agree with what she does/says, but please have some social grace. Confront her in an appropriate situation. If she does something that offends you, leave the situation and confront her at a later time...and please don't take it out on your sweet assistant-she is just trying to help. If you want to continue to be everyone's favorite, you need to not be so impulsive and think before you re-act.
Girl, I think your the best on the show & the most Beautiful one. Your Absolutley Gorgeous. I love the way you stand your ground & are true to yourself & others. Its suprising that the others don't realize if Tamara could back stab her BF , then she's capable of doing it to everyone else, so she's actually a fake one. Maybe this new boyfriend will make her realize that. she's actually fuel to the fire - starts most of the drama , & keeps it going. Although Simon was very controlling, so is tamara. I'd watch out for Alexia too - I don't think she's literally a true friend. I was amazed by the way she handled herself at the gathering you had at the house with your friend. how so Middle school was that? she claims to have a great marriage, yet she gets in a strangers face , accusing them of making a pass at her husband. I'd say, sit back & view the sitch, Alexia. Find out how much your husband really loves you & see if you the fish bites, hello???? he actually loved the imature cat fight? what kind of man would enjoy that? I would be pissed if my spouse acted like that. I'd say pal up with Lynne, Vickie, Jeanna & you got yourself some loyal friends. P.S. slades ok, but sometimes I think he should sit back & let you handle things.
I'm sorry but I have to keep it real with you. You can talk about Tamra and all her issues, but you should worry about your own life and let her live hers. Slade makes you look like a fool. You should find a man that is your equal, not someone that has less goals and morals then you. I thought you were a smart women, not one that would take care of a man cause he cant take care of himself. Slade makes you look like your so desperate for a man that you would pay to have a man. Girl, wake up and move on to something better. You deserve to be happy and I wish you lots of joy and happiness.
Gretchen-- It seemed obvious to me from the conversation w/your dad that he is an intelligent man with great advice to offer. More than that, he is a concerned parent. While he may enjoy being "buddies" with Slade, he did not clearly endorse him as the man he wanted to see his daughter marry. He seemed to understand that what you call Slade's "struggles" may not make him husband material. That doesn't stop your dad from riding motorcycles and hanging out with Slade, or just being respectful that he is his daughter's boyfriend. However, I saw the concern in his eyes...what was unspoken was more powerful than anything he actually said.
Gretchen - Love Love Love you! Leave Tamara as a distant memory and continue to be the fun loving successful woman you are. As far as Slade, no one can tell us who to fall in love with. You love him... just be smart. If he treats you good, I'm happy for you. Who are we to judge?
Keep your chin up!
Glad to see you speaking up for yourself and OUT about Tamra. She was very nasty towards you in the past, nothing has changed with her.
Gretchen, I liked you much better last season because you seemed to just brush it all off or let it go and have a good time..now you seem to be getting mean..when I first saw you and Jeff my initial impression was "are you kidding me?". I don't think you can really blame Tamara or anyone else for thinking that until they get to know you.
Do not get a boob job!! You are great the way you are. Continue to be a influence on young ladies to not feel like they need big fake boobs to be pretty. Natural is something to be proud of don't mutalate your body.