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I don't know if Slade and my future holds marriage, kids, family, or a lifetime together, but I have decided that it is OK not to know. I am content knowing that right now he is my Mr. Right, and until I am in the place where marriage is right for me again, I can just love him the best way I know how.
Alexis gets where I am coming from, because she has been in my position before having been divorced divorced. She gets my hesitancies, and so it is encouraging to have friends who understand and want the best for me. I know she believes in marriage and wants to see me marry Slade, however she is not the kind of friend to encourage me to do something that is not right for me, so I know I will have her support either way!
My father and I talked for a good two hours when we sat down to lunch. My parents are my best friends! I call them about everything, and we are an extremely close family (I have an older sister and younger brother). My parents have my best interest at heart and want what is best for me. We don't always agree, but their advice means a lot to me and I value what they have to say. Even though it may not have looked that way, my father really does like Slade. They talk almost every day and constantly are doing things together like going cycling/mountain biking etc. It is not so much about Slade being the right guy as it is about me making the best decisions for myself. I tend to see the best in everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt even to my own detriment. My Dad knows this about me and so he is cautious to make sure that I really understand the situation fully and that I am making the right decisions based off facts and not just love juice! I am very close with my Dad. He and I are a lot alike so he knows how I tick.
I am very saddened that they did now show a very special and emotional moment between my father and I in this conversation, because it was about Jeff and a lot of the reasons my father has concerns for my happiness. My father knew how much Jeff and I loved each other and was present in the room with me when Jeff passed away. He has never seen me in so much pain, and no parent ever wants to see their child in that much pain. He never wanted to see me hurt that way again. He continued that unfortunately he has had to see the other woman on the show say horrible and untrue things about Jeff and my relationship when they never knew the man or us together. This whole thing has been very hard on my parents, because they were close to Jeff and they knew how much we loved each other and how much I went through while he was sick and still struggle with today. They don't want to see me hurt anymore, especially by the women's unfair judgments, by society's judgments, or by the injustices of life.
Unfortunately, he knows that I have fallen in love with a man who has some struggles of his own right now, due to his son being very sick with cancer. I completely get it, and I don't blame my father for being protective and concerned. However my father is hopeless romantic (don't tell him I told you) and believes that love can conquer all. He sees that Slade treats me well, makes me happy, and is a wonderful father (despite what the press tries to spin). He sees how happy and in love I am again, and that is ultimately what he wants for his little girl.
So for now I think my parents are actually OK with me leasing for a while.
Give it a rest with Tamra already. Enough! We know where you stand. By your constant "Tamra Bashing" you have given her power and makes me believe that there is truth in what she has said about you.
Honey, if you're this hesitant, DO NOT MARRY SLADE. Its obvious with all the lease talk that you do not want to marry him.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR JOURNEY about marriage with or without Slade. And CONGRATULATIONS on the success of your business ventures. Most of all, I AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT TAMRA...this year she no longer has Simon to blame for her off-putting behaviors, yet, she continues on the same path when it comes to you and Alexis. She has bigger things to worry about right now. NOT you. Most of all, I think she is manipulated by Vicki. Vicki has some kind of hold on her. I am glad you see through it all.
if you don't like tamra be classy, keep it your self silly, no need to make the time to actually list out reasons why not to be friends with the girl.
Gretchen, I REALLY needed to read something like this today. I cant even begin to tell you how much it has helped me today. I am in a very bad place in my life right now and it helped ready this.
Oh and AMEN on EVERYTHING espically what you said with TAMRA!!! She is making a big ol fool of herself. In the end the truth always comes out.
You are so refreshing on this show! It is too bad that they edit out for time's sake some of the most touching things you say and do because you have such a great heart. Your thoughts and words about marriage and Jeff and Slade were so moving.
I agree - give it a rest on "Tamra" - the viewers are tired of it. The old adage holds "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Gretchen, Oh no, are you on the God, Christian band wagon too?(like Alexis?) You never mentioned your faith before. If you ask me, all of you women make nasty comments about each other, so why the double talk about you being above it all? No More On Tamra! It is getting like a broken record, the two of you.
Gretchen - you are darling. Please don't ever get plastic surgery, botox, or all that other junk like the rest of the OC housewifes. they look like freaks while you are fresh, young and beautiful. Or if you have had the above, consider yourself done. Stop wasting your time blogging about Tamra. She is beneath you in every regard. Slade seems like a bit of a loser - I think you can do better. Good luck!
I have always loved you from the beginning. Even when rumors were flying around. You know the saying, actions speak louder than words? Well that is you. You portray youself well and I can tell you were brought up by a good family. Your actions speak for you. P.S. you look great for 32 I thought you were much younger. :-)
You use to be my favorite housewife, but you have become very sarcastic and negative this year! You use to be so fun-loving and sweet! I agree that you are bashing Tamra way too much! Even the fact that you made a list in your blog is very odd to me. I also disagreed how you spoke to your assistant and confronted her about nothing!
Do not get a boob job!! You are great the way you are. Continue to be a influence on young ladies to not feel like they need big fake boobs to be pretty. Natural is something to be proud of don't mutalate your body.
Gretchen, I liked you much better last season because you seemed to just brush it all off or let it go and have a good time..now you seem to be getting mean..when I first saw you and Jeff my initial impression was "are you kidding me?". I don't think you can really blame Tamara or anyone else for thinking that until they get to know you.
Glad to see you speaking up for yourself and OUT about Tamra. She was very nasty towards you in the past, nothing has changed with her.
Gretchen - Love Love Love you! Leave Tamara as a distant memory and continue to be the fun loving successful woman you are. As far as Slade, no one can tell us who to fall in love with. You love him... just be smart. If he treats you good, I'm happy for you. Who are we to judge?
Keep your chin up!
Gretchen-- It seemed obvious to me from the conversation w/your dad that he is an intelligent man with great advice to offer. More than that, he is a concerned parent. While he may enjoy being "buddies" with Slade, he did not clearly endorse him as the man he wanted to see his daughter marry. He seemed to understand that what you call Slade's "struggles" may not make him husband material. That doesn't stop your dad from riding motorcycles and hanging out with Slade, or just being respectful that he is his daughter's boyfriend. However, I saw the concern in his eyes...what was unspoken was more powerful than anything he actually said.
I'm sorry but I have to keep it real with you. You can talk about Tamra and all her issues, but you should worry about your own life and let her live hers. Slade makes you look like a fool. You should find a man that is your equal, not someone that has less goals and morals then you. I thought you were a smart women, not one that would take care of a man cause he cant take care of himself. Slade makes you look like your so desperate for a man that you would pay to have a man. Girl, wake up and move on to something better. You deserve to be happy and I wish you lots of joy and happiness.
Girl, I think your the best on the show & the most Beautiful one. Your Absolutley Gorgeous. I love the way you stand your ground & are true to yourself & others. Its suprising that the others don't realize if Tamara could back stab her BF , then she's capable of doing it to everyone else, so she's actually a fake one. Maybe this new boyfriend will make her realize that. she's actually fuel to the fire - starts most of the drama , & keeps it going. Although Simon was very controlling, so is tamara. I'd watch out for Alexia too - I don't think she's literally a true friend. I was amazed by the way she handled herself at the gathering you had at the house with your friend. how so Middle school was that? she claims to have a great marriage, yet she gets in a strangers face , accusing them of making a pass at her husband. I'd say, sit back & view the sitch, Alexia. Find out how much your husband really loves you & see if you the fish bites, hello???? he actually loved the imature cat fight? what kind of man would enjoy that? I would be pissed if my spouse acted like that. I'd say pal up with Lynne, Vickie, Jeanna & you got yourself some loyal friends. P.S. slades ok, but sometimes I think he should sit back & let you handle things.
Gretchen, From the beginning, you were my favorite housewife. You seem fun, understanding and someone I could be friends with. This season seems to have brought out the worst in you. I know Tamra annoys you and you don't agree with what she does/says, but please have some social grace. Confront her in an appropriate situation. If she does something that offends you, leave the situation and confront her at a later time...and please don't take it out on your sweet assistant-she is just trying to help. If you want to continue to be everyone's favorite, you need to not be so impulsive and think before you re-act.
Gretchen, I have to say I do agree with the comment above about being sarcastic and just a tiny bit negative, however, I can also understand why you would become that way. You have taken some hard hits from some mean and ugly people on that show. I hope you can shake their bad energy and get back to the happy no-one bothers me kind of lady you are. Don't let those bitches change you.
You still make me laugh and I adore how you love life. You seem to be a really good person. Best wishes to you!
The fact that every week you find time in your life to write a page in your blog about Tamara is disturbing. Let IT GO! I used to like you in the past seasons but your attitude this season is silly and unbecoming. When I don't like someone, I don't talk about them, period, i don't say anything negative because I refuse to waste my time and energy to talk about them. Hence, they are not that important, move on. Everyone on that show has talked behind each others back and done some backstabbing. It's the way most women operate!
You say you were raised in a strict Christian home, so you know being married isn’t just what society says it is what the Bible says. And I understand being gun shy about marriage, but asking God to lead you to what is right is what is important. And yes you may love Slade, but be honest with yourself and pray about it and you probably will see the answer to your marriage “dilemma”. This is your relationship and only you and him know what will work for you and you cannot worry about other divorces and other people when dealing with something this strong and big. If it feels right and dammit you know it than maybe it is time to do it or leave it. Good luck and I don’t mean this to come off rude if it does. : )
For years and years I have been saying basically the same thing about marriage. It ought to be like a drivers license. You have to have the marriage license renewed every 4 years!!! How funny!!
YOU have defended yourself against Tamra's accusations enough, the more you blog about it the less believable you become! As far as the Slade relationship, you said that by the time you were 27 you had faced more than most might face in a lifetime......I don't necessarily agree with you but even if true you shouldn't punish Slade or anyone else for your insecurities. It's actually very selfish and you don't wear it well!
Please please stop discussing Tamra in your blogs. We get it , we can all see it, she is not a nice person, and if she is then she is in a bad place. I really believe last year she was and she still is . You can have all the fun in the world with a new love, but still be bitter in your heart towards your EX. It can take a long time to get past those feelings and thoughts. Until she does , she will continue talking trash about others because she still has hate in her heart. By you continuing to point it out, brings you down to her level . Be the girl we all know you are and get past your issues with Tamra , you don't have to like her, you don't have to trust her, but you have to move on . : )
Listen to your Dad.... they always know best! If Slade was right for you, there would not be an ounce of hesitation on your part, not even a blink! No one is perfect, but you'd know in your gut, CLEARLY you are on the fence. RED FLAG.... move on, you deserve better!
We can all see you and Tamara will never be best friends. But Tamara just says what everyone else is thinking. Jim does come across as controlling, most people think so and that doesn't make Tamara a horrible person for noticing. You've never explained the pictures of yourself in comprimising positions during the period you were engaged to Jeff. Tamara again points this out what everyone else has seen and that doesn't make her your enemy. Tamara is alot of things but she is brutally honest even with herself. I haven't seen this honesty in you yet regarding your past. You deflect it instead. Come clean and move on.
I think you have EVERY RIGHT to say whatever you want about Tamra. She spent 2 seasons saying whatever she wanted about you! There is something wrong in our society, when people can do rude things to others, and if you fight back, you're the mean one! Not so, Tamra and her floppy va-jay-jay deserve it.
It's clear that the reason you don't want to marry Slade is because you are unsure of the relationship. It's ok, you can still love someone and be unsure about marrying them. He's got alot of baggage and a son that has cancer... you went through that, and you'd be signing up to go through that again. It's still a fresh wound.
Gretchen, I feel the need to defend you after reading all of these blogs. I understand somewhat why you still feel the need to lash out at Tamra. Life is hard enough and when you feel like a toxic person is sabatoging you, it can be traumatic. Sometimes forgiveness is a journey. Maybe more time needs to go by. Maybe you need to settle this lawsuit you are invovled in. At any rate, I hope that you can eventually forgive Tamra. She is obviously a negative and ungracious person (at times her actions have been downright vile). However, you will be a better, happier person when bitterness twords her or any looser ex-boyfriend of yours is no longer a part of you. Keep on rockin:)
If you don't want to get married, then don't. Some people are not marriage material, and that is perfectly fine. I myself am married 24 years this fall, with a 21 year old son and an 18 year old daughter, and I am very happy. Not blissful, but very happy. It's psychotic to be totally blissful every day and to always look for the brass ring every day, it doesn't exist. I think you are hoping for some miracle to arise. You are a big girl, so be one. I have unmarried friends and I value them just the same. Don't want marriage? Fine, no biggie, but own it, BUT, be a big girl and stop lashing out at Slade because he wants committment. Whether or not he is a catch or a shady character as some have stated, I haven't a clue, and frankly, it's nobody's business. However, if you are the one to commit to him under God, before family, and for life, then so be it. If you don't want to get married, then tell him once and for all and let the chips fall where they may, he will survive. When you marry and have children, you love them more than yourself, you put your pride away, listen always, and never take them for granted. Keep Alexis close to you. She is getting horrible bs from others and it is not fair, why, because she is beautiful and may have her %$#@ together??? Well, hell yeah! Good heart and soul she has. She is a great friend and ally, and she is a brilliant lesson to a happy marriage, not a perfect one, but a work in progress, which is the rest of us married with children men and women. Good luck to you and stay well.
Gretchen, it's good to see that you've been going for grief counseling. When season two began, you seemed determined to move on, but anyone who has nursed a loved one through a terminal illness knows that you don't, you can't move on that quickly. It haunts you. You looked and seemed very brittle, and it was clear that you were numb. I'm glad for you that you are now putting time into facing that and into healing.
Your dad seems like an amazing guy. The thing he said that struck me as so powerful--and so relevant--was that you have to ask yourself, "If I'm on my deathbed, will this person be there holding my hand?" I watched my own dad take care of my mom through her terminal illness when I was in high school, and it gave me a strong sense of what to look for in a mate. I don't ever want to settle for less than the devotion he showed my mom; don't you settle for less than the devotion you gave to Jeff.
And, baby girl, I've been Team Gretchen since day one. So have many of us. We see and recognize who and what Tamra is, and we've seen her true colors all along. Anyone who doesn't at this point, isn't going to. Let her go. You're carrying her around with you and wasting valuable emotion and energy on her. Let that Christian upbringing guide you toward forgiveness. It's the most emotionally healthy thing for you. Hopefully at some point you can pity her and Vicki--they judge others because they don't want to look closely at themselves. Pray for them, and hand them over. Then get on with your life.
And I miss seeing you with Jeff's kids. I always got the impression they brought out the very real you.
Gretchen, If you are asking your Dad advice about getting married to Slade I would take that as a sign that right now in your life you don't want to either be married or you just don't want to marry Slade. If he is the right one you would't be asking your Dad if you should get married. You also have to think about do you want to have a child with somebody you may not love forever or not have a child with somebody you waited for and found true love. Whatever you decide I hope you find happiness.
I watch the show all the time and I'm actually flying out to Newport Beach this Thursday from Chattanooga, TN for a job interview. If I ever ran into one of you on the street, I think I would freak out.. haha!! :0)
I like your stories best when they do not include bashing Tamra. Frankly, she does a good job of making a fool of herself...all by herself!!!
Gretchen, I LOVE YOU....but you got to let this thing go with Tamra already. it really doesnt make you look any better. sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and let it go first. im not saying be her bestfriend just stop talking about it because its really getting old and im starting to feel like im watching last season all over again.
Hey Gretchen, I'm From England And I have been watching 'The real housewives of Orange County' since it has been playing on a English Chanel, It's only upto season 3 but I want to get this chance to tell you that I think you are an amazing girl/Lady I found it awful how the other girls such as Vikki and Tamra were very twofaced about you and Lynne, I thought you and Lynne both always handled your selfs very well around both of them. I may need to watch season 4 5 and 6 but at this moment I do think your my faveorite house wife. Even though they all think your fake and attension seeking I believe you are yourself and that the Vikki and Tammra are both just very bitter towards you. I hope your doing well after your loss. I may just need to say that Jeana Is lovely too. I hope you get time to read this, and that I love you and think you are amazing and that I will look up to you when I am older (Only 17 now) and think that Is what I want to look like at your age. Super amazing.
Gretchen, I found you to be very fresh and relatable on the first seasons of Housewives but, unfortunatlely when viewing recent shows, I believe your ego became too big for your head. Your silly ramblings and caustic laughter transformed you from a lovable person to a spoiled child.
Keep it real
I think I'm going to faint, as I'm sitting down. One of my comments FINALLY posted, wow! I'm a big fan of yours, not so much Vicki & Tamra. Glad to see you're speaking your mind, don't let those two mean girls get to you! Proud of you!