Cast Blog: #RHOC

The Mean Girl

Gretchen addresses her comments about Slade and the mace joke controversy.

Hi guys,

Thanks to everyone that tweeted, Facebooked, and sent messages on my website regarding the event I planned for my parents. It meant a lot to get so many wonderful messages from the fans. I did keep getting the same question of why my siblings weren't there or any other guests, so this might help it make sense more. My parents made it very clear to us that they did not want to have a party or guests involved in celebrating their 40th. Mom and dad had a big party for their 25th and did not feel the need to do that again and wanted something more intimate for their 40th. I felt it was a great opportunity to take the pressure off my parents, and offered to plan something special for them without all the hoopla or guests involved. My brother had been married the weekend before and understandably wanted to stay home to be with his lovely new bride and play house. My sister lives in Washington state and works almost every weekend for her job, so she was unable to fly down that weekend as well. My brother and sister agreed it would make the most sense to celebrate their 40th on the actual day of their anniversary, August 29th . They were certainly there in spirit with us, and mom, dad, and I talked to them the entire weekend by phone!

Now to this week's episode. You guys only see a small snapshot into why Slade and I had this fight regarding his weight. They flashback to me getting on him in Palm Springs again, but what you don't see is him earlier that same day complaining about being fat again and how he felt gross, but then orders a huge pasta dinner! At this dinner it had been close to six months of complaining about his weight. Due to me being a personal trainer and teaching so many of my clients how to eat healthy and maintain a great and healthy weight, I knew that the best way to motivate someone was to encourage and teach them how to change their eating habits, encourage them to workout (especially if I was going to go workout) and praise and continue to encourage them when they did. I had tried all those tactics in the prior six months with Slade to get him to change his habits, but he still wouldn't heed to my advice. I finally got to the end of my rope of hearing about it. If Slade wants to be fat, then it's his body and he can be fat, but for goodness sake stop complaining about it every single day! I hate nothing more than when someone complains about something all the time and doesn't do anything about it. I am a doer not a talker, so if I don't like something about myself, I figure out a way to change it! Being the person that had to hear about it every day was draining, and this is why you see me so frustrated about it in this episode.

In actuality my father and Slade started the joke. My dad is "Chunky Monkey" and Slade is "Tubba Wubba." They had teased each other so many times about it (and publicly) that I didn't think anything about it once I picked up the nickname for him. Slade complains about being fat and calls himself Tubba Wubba all the time. You only see me giving him a hard time about it.

Slade and I are like every couple, we bicker about silly stuff. However you can see from the footage how much fun we really do have together. He and I make each other laugh all the time, and we love each other so so much; however that does not make us immune to having arguments or having our feelings hurt about something. That is why you see me apologize to him once he said it hurt his feelings. I love him way too much to let a silly thing like that get in the way! Let me be clear on one thing, I DO NOT THINK SLADE IS FAT! I like to think he put on a couple extra pounds because he is happy and in love and I will forever be OK with that! However my dogs are fat, and I was concerned about their health. Chris finally realized that my concerns were correct and he has been doing much better with feeding them.

I'm happy to report that Slade took my advice these past few months and has lost fifteen pounds! He realized that by changing a few things about his eating habits, it could make a big difference. I also taught him how to work out around the house without having to go to the gym! I think too many of us put so much pressure on ourselves to take an hour to two hours to go to the gym. With my hectic work and travel schedule, I just couldn't do that anymore, so I re-taught myself how to work out from just using things inside my home or wherever I was traveling. To learn more about what I do visit my site www.gretchenchristine.com and check out my blog under fitness and health tips!

Now to the dinner with Peggy and Micah. Gosh it seems like Slade is going to get a beating this year. Despite what you saw, I laughed and loved Slade's gesture when he said he was going to get my ring out of a life saver dispenser. What I love about Slade the most is his humility. It is what every man (especially a man of faith like he is) should have. He realizes now how dangerous it was to think he was untouchable and to think you have it all. He was flashy and didn't think twice about money. However in a heartbeat all that was taken from him when his son got sick. The medical bills for Grayson (who has brain cancer) have amounted to over three million dollars, and as a lot of you know, Grayson just had his eighth brain surgery recently. When Slade moved to LA to be closer to Gray when he was fighting for his life in the hospital, Slade's whole life changed. He has become a stronger and better man because of it. I fell in love with the man he is today, money or not. I don't know a girl out there that would turn down some beautiful bling from their man, however it has never defined a relationship for me and certainly not Slade’s and my relationship (thank God). I have learned a hundred times over that material things are not what makes you happy. Material things can be taken away in a heartbeat, and then all you have left is the love between the two of you. I am so happy to know that no matter what Slade and I ever have, no matter what the press claims or says about us, we will always have an amazing love and bond that no one can rob us of.

Overall the dinner with Peggy and Micah was a lot of fun, and it was great to get to know them better. I was most relieved that Micah's super hero powers allowed him to determine that Gretchen Christine Cosmetics are not toxic in any way! Phew!

Seeing Vicki and Donn's dinner made me so sad to see how distant and unhappy they were. You can read it all over their faces. It is obvious that Vicki's work has superseded her desire to have a lasting and loving relationship with her husband. It seems like she is having an affair with her work, and it is hard to watch their relationship disintegrate. I personally get loving your work so much and continuing to want to grow your companies and how much time it takes to make it successful, but seeing this really makes me realize how easily you can have work take over your life and how important it is to continue to nourish the relationships in your life. At the end of the day when life is over, you have to realize that you don't want your gravestone to just say "Hardworker." It was hard to be judged by Vicki when I first started dating Slade, but now I wonder if maybe she was just unhappy in her own marriage that she projected it onto me. I have learned that sometimes when people are unhappy in their own lives, it is very difficult to be happy for someone else.

Finally, we come to the last scene of the show. Last week a certain cast member stated that she would not use her blog or the press like two of her other cast members to talk badly about anyone, however it has become beyond apparent she feels it is OK to use an international television show that is seen by 360 million people worldwide to do so instead! Ha, that is so laughable! Can you say hypocrite! You seriously have to love this cast member's excuses, it kind of makes me realize how wacky she really is. Unfortunately, because she likes to talk about us every episode, it creates the desire to address her statements here in our blogs or when asked about it in the press. Also, again, remember we are asked to discuss and state our opinion of what takes place in each episode in our blogs every week.

This week we see a certain cast member claim her actions were just a joke over and over again, however when anyone else does something that is meant to be just a joke, it is so out of line. How can she say it was so wrong for someone to do something in her house (i.e. boyfriend's house) and supposedly ruin her party, but it was suddenly OK when she does the same type of thing at Alexis' party? (Oh and what standards or party etiquette is she living up to when she throws wine on Jeana at Vicki's party? What's the difference there I wonder? Unfortunately, her rules apply to everyone else but herself.)

Now since it is brought up in this episode, let's revisit her party. When the woman at her party said the evil eye is to protect you from evil spirits, I was simply making a joke when I said oh perfect it can protect me from her. Actually if you watch that footage you hear everyone laugh. Her own guests got that it was just a joke, and I was even laughing when I said it. The truth is she is the one that got all sensitive to my joke, (as she ironically is accusing Alexis of being too sensitive to her joke in this episode). She was the one that actually couldn't just take the joke and elevated the situation by aggressively confronting me in front of all her guests. Oh, and just to be clear since she seems to have amnesia as to what actually happened, she came out to me used the words "evil bitch." As stated above, I never used those words in my joke, but if the shoe fits I guess.

Also I want to address a comment that I keep seeing. The first couple of seasons when I just let everything roll off my back, everyone was encouraging me that I needed to stick up for myself more and give the women a piece of my mind. Now I've finally done that this year, and I've seen some people say I've changed. Simply put, I am much more assertive to those who have treated me poorly. I am simply stating my truth in an assertive and truthful way. If sticking up for myself and not allowing someone to treat me poorly just because I am nice means I have changed, then I am happy I have changed!

During the argument with Alexis, we see this cast member claim she is a loyal friend. (I'm sorry, are we all watching the same show?) Saying hurtful and really terrible things about almost every other cast member/"friend" on the show does not make you a loyal friend, it makes you the mean girl. More than anything, how can someone laugh about another person's home possibly going into foreclosure? To me that is one of the saddest things you could see a family, especially one with children, have to go through. I have seen so many of my friends and families lose their homes during this difficult economic time, and it was no laughing matter. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. When I saw this cast member laugh about someone else's hardship, it made my skin crawl. How gross and malicious can one be? Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse after what she said about me. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't this certain cast member lose their home also? How can she laugh at another, yet cry on camera about how horrible it was for them? Then to follow up by saying, "I don't want to be the mean girl anymore"... Newsflash, if you don't want to be that girl, then stop running your mouth and being so damn mean!

Jim and Alexis did not lose their home to foreclosure thank goodness, and the bank actually apologized for the incorrect information that was disseminated into the press. It seems other cast members only want to speak about the bad or incorrect press, but aren't too quick to talk about the truth once it is revealed. Shady! If there is one thing I have learned about Alexis these last few years it is that she will make her own decision (even when it comes to her husband). She doesn't need to "metamorphose" into me to see a person who isn't being a real friend and is talking smack about her. Never once in the footage have you seen me try to convince either Alexis or Peggy not to be friends with someone. However when asked (like at the dinner with Peggy and Micah), I will answer honestly in regards to my own experience with someone. I want everyone to come to their own conclusions. Alexis without my help has come to her own conclusion. Someone that continues to find excuses for their bad behavior (one week it was her ex that made her act the way she did to someone, this week it's my fault Alexis has changed towards her), maybe should just take a look at themselves and realize it's just them.

Despite all this that I know a lot of you already see, and even though a lot of you believe I had every right to act out at her party because I was fed up with someone being so hypocritical and treating people so poorly for so long, I must take responsibility for my own actions, and if my joke was hurtful, then I apologize.

I've learned no matter how people treat you, you have to stay positive, get those poisonous people and things out of your life, stay focused on your goals, and it will all fall into place. The bottom feeders who try to tear you down will ultimately self-destruct.

Look forward to hearing from you guys again about this week's episode at www.twitter.com/gretchenrossi, wwww.facebook.com/gretchenrossi, or my website www.gretchenchristine.com! Thanks for watching and reading every week!

Xoxo,

Gretchen Christine

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Lizzie: Tamra Doesn't Fight Fair

Lizzie thinks Tamra's comments about her children were meant to deflect from her own problems.

Happy Labor Day!!! I am going to make this blog short and sweet. It’s a holiday and I am going to be spending the day with family in Newport wearing a Sun Kitten and a smile. I hope you all are having a great holiday weekend.

To be honest, the second half of the Reunion was hard to watch. I think it got too ugly. I am not going to insult any of your intelligence in explaining this episode. We all know that misery loves company, and "projection" is as easy to spot as a $2 dollar bill. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that everything miserable that comes out of Tamra's mouth is a direct reflection of what is going on in her life. In my opinion, children are off limits. It's quite apparent that Tamra does not fight fair and when all else fails she will throw your kids, marriage, and even your body under the bus in an attempt to hurt you. We filmed the reunion for over 10 hours and after listening to so much ugliness my heart just couldn't take it anymore.

I do not regret telling Shannon all the things that Tamra said about her. Everything I shared with Shannon was something that happened and was said on camera. I didn't take anything and create unnecessary drama. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I would think my friends would do the same for me. I simply did not know the truth about Tamra. Danielle told me all the things Tamra said about me. That is why after my birthday I was so hurt by her. It's hard for viewers to understand because these things weren't in the show. She could have called me and said she wasn't coming. I called her after sitting on the bus for over an hour. The next day she made fun of me to Danielle, in addition to asking plenty of questions looking for negative details regarding my party.

On that one-year free membership to Cut Fitness: Let's delve into this shall we? I was the one that contacted Tamra days after my party. She did not contact me to give me present. I had invited Tamra, Eddie, Danielle, Joe, Heather, and Terry to the Kentucky Derby and Tamra was the only person that had not sent in the RSVP. It was past the deadline and it was getting borderline rude at this point. Tamra, in fact, was making fun of the Kentucky Derby and the charity event that would be hosting us to Danielle. So, I reached out to Tamra regarding the Kentucky Derby and she texted me back saying, "I want to give you a free membership to CUT for your birthday." Tamra knows I am already a member to a sports club and that was the last I heard of this "free membership." I never received any kind of certificate or card for membership. I suppose she thought I would have the gall to show up and say, "I got a text message from Tamra for a free membership!" It's almost laughable. Needless to say, I don't go to her gym and she didn't attend the Kentucky Derby with me.

There is nothing else to say regarding the Shag, Marry, Kill game that I haven't already discussed in great length in any of my previous blogs. I said the word "marry" and that's that. Tamra even glared at me on the way out of the Valentine's Party and repeated it. "Marry you?" Tamra has said multiple times she couldn't even remember because she drank too much and there are even text messages where she says it too. Her story changes continually, like the words that come out both sides of her mouth.

During the Reunion, Tamra said many more hurtful things that you didn't see. She went on to talk about my son Preston and my marriage. We all remember the episode in the park where Preston hit me on the head with his elephant. He was asleep in the car and he had a mini temper tantrum. He was three -- it happens. I would assume most mothers have had it happen at some point. In addition, my husband and I got in a fight on my birthday. I feel awful about it, yet it made us closer. I just wanted what every woman wants -- to feel special because of her man. I am a big time believer in learning from your mistakes and that won't ever happen again. However none of those incidents had anything to do with Tamra. But on her quest to hurt everyone, she managed to drag in some irrelevant topics. I know it's all to deflect from what's going on in her life and to make someone else look bad. . .but it does hurt nonetheless. My babies and my marriage are my life so I guess her goal was to attack the things closest to my heart because she can't fight fair.

I hope you enjoyed this season and I hope you had a fabulous summer!!! The fall is my absolute favorite time of year, so I say bring on football and cooler weather.

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