Love Sex Magic
Bravotv.com's Assistant Editor distills all the 'Wife wisdom from Episode 3.
The O.C. ladies definitely made me believe in love and sex and magic this week (a la Ciara). There was so much love and sex going on, that it truly was quite magical. We learned that closets in the O.C. see a lot of action, bondage happens even on "Jesus Lane," and that chugging a glass of red wine is a great way to relieve performance anxiety. All in one episode!
Nothing says "I am not a princess" like a tiara. Or a license plate that says, "This is what a princess looks like." So if you are trying to prove that you are not a witch for example, the key is to wear a pointy black hat. And to affix a license plate to your broom which says, "This is what a witch looks like." Or if you wanted to prove you were not a hipster, you should probably wear the skinniest jeans you can find. And attach a license plate to your bike that says, "This is what being ironic looks like." In any event, I'm glad Alexis and Gretchen have cleared the air. This episode is all about love in all forms!
Thigh high boots are appropriate at any age. If I had a body like Peggy's after having three children, I'd probably be rocking them as well. If you've got it flaunt it, right?
What's better than getting a watch on vacation? Getting two watches on vacation. Hats off to the Bellino family, they know how to do a vacation right.
Overcommunication is essential to managing renovations. Even if that means communicating in a language you don't speak. Vicki's attempt to speak Spanish was, I must admit, a little painful. "No scratchy the new woody?" I'm guessing Spanish was not Vicki's strong suit in high school. But hey, at least she made an attempt, right? And if there's anyone who could keep things on schedule, it's Vicki Gunvalson.
Even if you divide up the work of planning a trip, be sure to communicate with your partner to make sure that you remember everything. Like the nanny's lone suitcase. This is where being "psychotically persistent" comes in handy I imagine. I wonder if Vicki has ever forgotten anything on a trip? My guess is no.
Alexis, Gretchen, and Peggy dishing on their sex lives was probably one of the more illuminating moments we've had this season. You can spice up the bedroom by wearing nothing but panties and a bra like Peggy or just go the more direct route and rock heels and nothing else like Gretchen. And kids are evidently not an obstacle to getting it on so long as you have a closet available. But the biggest shocker certainly came from Alexis who revealed that she and Jim have been known to be blindfolded and bound in the boudoir. And just when I thought Gretchen would win quote of the week by saying that Slade gets "harder or softer according to my mood" (that would be quite a superpower by the way), she immediately one-ups herself with, "Leave it to Alexis who lives on Jesus Lane to tie Jim to a chair."
Oh the bathtub scene. All of the P.D.A. we saw beforehand at the dinner was still not sufficient enough to prepare us for what was coming, which was quite an eyeful. I think one thing was clear -- Tamra and Eddie definitely have no lack of chemistry. And hey, it looks like Tamra's tactic of a steamy tub tryst was very effective. If that tub could talk...
I have to say though, I'm pretty stoked for next week when Tamra and Vicki take Cabo by storm. I couldn't even keep count of how many tequila shots happened here, but I can only imagine what will unfold as a result...