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Peggy Tanous

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Peggy explains her struggle with postpartum and why she wanted to include it in the show.

Mar 27, 2011

Another week has flown by and here we are again hopefully making your Sunday night interesting and fun!

This was a very hard episode for me to watch. The past three and a half years of living with postpartum depression has been the toughest thing in my life to get through. When I was asked by my actress friend Tanya to take part in a documentary about postpartum, I immediately accepted with the hope that my experiences could help other women out there. Make sure to look for the documentary. Hopefully it will be out in the next few months! It is called When The Bough Breaks. I knew making it a part of the show could help bring more much needed attention to a serious problem that easily gets ignored and not treated with proper care. I had some really dark days, and watching myself describe these days made me feel like I was crazy at times and made me hurt for my children that I was so angry, short tempered, easily overwhelmed, and depressed. At times I had drastic thoughts of not being here for for my family and that they would be better off without me.

It was so tough on Micah as well. When I heard his comments about what I went through, it made me so sad, because he is such an amazing husband and Dad, and he felt there was nothing he could do to help me and even felt like he could never make me happy. I'm so lucky that he never gave up hope on us working through this! The first year I was going through it I was in complete denial and looking back it was like I was in a fog. I finally had everything I had wanted, a great husband and amazing children, but I felt as if nothing was ever enough to make me happy. It was as if I never had enough of anything, but now being healthier I realize it isn't about getting enough of something, but rather having a different frame of mind! Now that I've come out of the fog, I am focusing on taking each day as it comes and realizing every moment is a gift. I am also putting my energy into now developing healthy, meaningful friendships that are not competitive or superficial, but supportive and sharing of similar interests and paths for the future! Stay tuned to my website at www.peggytanous.com for my tips on battling postpartum without prescription medication.

Watching Tamra and Vicki in Cabo was hilarious! Loved the scene of them trying to figure out what they do first, lick the salt or suck the tequila! Can you say blonds! It was great they healed their friendship while whooping it up! Vicki was milking the whole apology thing a bit, but it was funny! I couldn't believe how much the guy at the pool looked like Vicki's husband Donn! He could have been his brother! Watching Tamra do the body shot was more proof that being with Eddie really allows her to be herself and not feel guilty about it.

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I THINK YOU WERE SO BRAVE TO SHARE YOUR STORY. POST PARTUM DEPRESSION IS A DISEASE THAT'S TRULY BEEN MISUNDERSTOOD FOR YEARS. THANKFULLY, IT'S COME INTO THE LIGHT AND MORE EASILY RECOGNIZED SOONER THAN IT WAS YEARS AGO. BUT, IT TAKES PEOPLE SUCH AS YOURSELF AND OTHERS TO SPEAK OUT AND THAT'S NOT EASY. I DON'T THINK ALEXIS WILL TRY TO ONE UP YOU ON THIS ONE. HANDS DOWN, HER HUSBAND COULD NEVER STEP UP TO THE PLATE AS IT APPEARS YOUR WONDERFUL HUSBAND HAS. IT'S VERY OBVIOUS HE LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO DO EVERYTHING HE CAN TO ENSURE YOUR WELL BEING. NICE MAN. WELL WISHES TO YOU ALL!

Peggy, I found your "story" to be very touching. Best wishes from Louisiana!!

Watching your reaction in the scene with your daughter by the pool brought tears to my eyes. I saw myself in you, reacting the way you did, except I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. Every day is a struggle, and unlike you I do take prescription drugs to control my anxiety, however, it doesn't suppress the anxiety entirely. I have tried so hard to come off of the medication, but I started sinking back to that dark place again. I feel so bad when I look at my kids and husband and think about the effect this has had on them, but I'm trying. Anyway, I'm glad you joined the show. Take care.

You seem like a good person but why did you not go with your husband to the emergency room with your daughter? You were the one freaking out.

Nice dig Peg. Did you think only Alexis would see that? Now that you've come forward with your issues its easy to see you really are insecure when it comes to Alexis. Sad.

I can relate to the comments Peggy made tonight on postpartum depression. I too wanted children but was shocked at the incredible anxiety and sadness I felt after giving birth. For me, and I think many new moms, my feelings came from uncertainty. I wanted to do everything right, I wanted to make the right decisions, but I couldn't seem to make a decision. I knew what kind of mother I didn't want to be, but I did not know how to be. I did not take medication, but I found that I needed a strong support of other new mothers. My children are now grown and I can say I did a great job, but it was a scary, rocky beginning. I think we need to support each other and help each other, not tear each other down.

I commend you for sharing.......

You have motivated me to go to my doctor this week. I have heard of pp depression, but really didn't consider that this is what I have been under since the birth of my second (wonderful) daughter. Thank you for sharing something so personal. I'm not one to usually look up and send a note, but I think this is the key to my putting things back together(emotionally). I have been super-mom, but under it all I have been out of sorts and so, so sad and anxious...I guess I just attributed it to the stress of having two. Listening to your story made sense that it doesn't have to be this way and gave me hope that maybe this heaviness I carry may have a solution. Thank you.

Thank you Peggy for sharing your personal life about your struggles with postpartum depression. It's important that women know they can suffer with deep dark serious issues. I've experienced it years ago when they didn't know what that know now. My prayer for you will be completely freed from any kind of depression. Then one day you may feel like stepping out more and helping other mothers having problems. I've been impressed watching you and I think you are real and clarify that even though your life is blessed your are also normal too. Thank you for sharing.

I just watched the episode and I cried watching you pouuring your heart out about what you went through...I am so glad you are doing better!

You are beautiful and you have a beautiful family and you actually love & pay attention to your children...not like Alexis who does not! I also think she is in competion with you so watch your back. I love you on the show and your a great mom!

P.S. So sorry about your daughter cutting her finger, it was not your fault...believe me ( I am a mother of two) and things like that happens sometimes. You did the right thing. Bless you.

Peggy~

Thank you so much for being so brave an honest about your struggle with postpartum depression. I suffered from it myself for a time after my son was born 15 years ago. I was lucky and my hormones balanced out on their own, but I was terrified as I was having horrible thoughts. Back then, PPD wasn't spoken about so openly. Again, thank you for baring your soul. Think about all of the women that you have helped.

God bless you and your family.

Just wanted to let you know I think you are an amazing mom and woman! You are probably going to help a lot of women by talking about your post partum depression and I think that is wonderful. Thank you for being so transparent and allowing viewers to see a more 'real' side of the OC housewife. Wishing you nothing but the best.

I love your husband! Watching his reaction at the pool when your daughter cut her finger shows how calm and compassionate he is. So many men would have dismissed your fears as irrational and would not have responded like he did. Good luck with everything and welcome to the OC family!

Postpartum for me was awful and the sad thing is, I didn't even realize how horrible I was feeling. I kept blaming it on my hormones getting back on track. I was crying all the time and felt guilty because this is supposed to be the happiest time in a woman's life (aside from getting married). I would look at my son and cry and cry. I was trying to breastfeed and it wasn't working out. My husband finally said it is okay for you to feed him formula. Stop doing this to yourself and speak to your doctor. Your mental health comes first.

I got the help I needed, and there is NOTHING wrong with having "ME" time. We all need it. For me, exercise and lots of walks around the block when I was feeling overwhelmed worked wonders!

Don't ever feel guilty! You are and always will be a great Mom!!

Peggy, I simply think you'e terrific!

You and Micah seem like wonderful parents. Love the team-work!

Thank you for sharing your poignant story. I am so sorry for your postpartum depression, and find it incredibly brave and strong of you, with the support of your husband, to open the window of this disease to your viewers. Best of luck in all things. You are a lovely person.

Thank you for sharing your post-partum story...I don't feel so alone or ashamed now.

Thank you for addressing depression. I think you are awesome & I wish you all that is beautiful & happy!

Thanks for sharing - we need more awareness - we need people not to be embarrassed or ashamed and get good help - I do not take the medical but a more holistic approach to my depression struggles - I will look up your website. I have done some natural stuff that has help but I am limited on what I personally can take so it becomes difficult on the bad days. You and Vicki are the ones I love so far this season - your mother in law was a hoot - your husband is a gem, keeping you on my prayer list.

Peggy,

Thanks for opening up to us this episode! I think that there are so many women that will appreciate knowing someone like you went through something like that and that they are not alone.

I really like you as an addition to the cast! You are refreshing because you seem genuianlly kind. A lot of the other women have gotten so catty. Hope that you stay sweet!!

You are SO LUCKY w ur husband! I am sure he is not perfect - who is......but he seems GREAT! Good luck to you all!

Peggy thank you for sharing your story about postpartum depression. I too suffered the same and it really is an illness and it's hard for others to understand that are not experiencing it. I also love how in to astrology you are! I am a leo so I am a fellow fire sign :) The part that cracked me up the most was when you said Micah was a libra so he would have a calming effect so true, as I am dating a libra and they are very well balanced and easy going :) You have a beautiful family! Glad you joined this season.

Peggy.......I was both shocked and inspired by you sharing your story with the world. I too experienced (and at times feel I am still) PPD after the birth of my second son 7 months ago (I also have an 18 month old). On the outside it seems like I have it all.....great husband, gorgeous house, healthy beautiful children, I get to be a stay at home mom yet I often can't shake these feelings of sadness and there are lots of days I don't want to get out of bed and do not know why. Please continue to share your story......I am hoping to learn some new ways of coping through your sharing. xoxoxo

Thank you for being so open about your experience with postpartum depression. It is people like you who are shedding light, and removing the stigma, around this very prevalent condition. I just love your relationship with your husband Micah! He is such a sweet, understanding husband. What a catch! I wish you and your beautiful family all the best! Thank you for bringing such a wonderful, positive presence to the show (:

God bless you. Restore your friendship with Alexis. Tamra says in her blog thatvu both have become like sisters????? Watch your back girl, that's all I am going to say.

Peggy,

I really have a new-found respect for you after watching last night's episode. I have an 11-week old daughter and am currently experiencing Post-Partum Anxiety. I have horrible thoughts of throwing her down the stairs and it's terrifying. I am getting help for it. Thank you for being so open!

Dear Peggy,

My heart cried out for you. I too know what it's like to battle depression. I heard you talking and it was as if I heard myself. I'm so glad you are doing better and I will pray for that to continue.

Lots of hugs! Maribel

I WISH YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY WELL. I am sorry for your postpartum depression. You are lucky to have a wonderful husband, great mother-in-law, and two adorable daughters. Your love for them shows.

It is wonderful to see a reality show deal with real issues that affect so much of us in real life and watch it unfold in daily routines. Depression and other mental illness affects so many and yet it is never dealt with as a part of our reality. It is as heartbreaking as finding out someone has a physical illness such as cancer. Thank you Peggy for introducing an emotional issue into a program that centers on so much idealism and letting us see that many people suffer from real life issues.

I applaud your approach to no antibiotics if not necessary, but if you are going to give your children supplements you need to know the side effects. Fish oil being a blood thinner means excessive bleeding! A multivitamin is a wonderful intervention to anyone's life but a child on fish oil the benefits do not outweigh the risks. Chances at being injured are greater as a child and fish oil is not beneficial to their health. I am sure your kids are active enough and eat well to live without fish oil! I am not being critical of you think that you are a wonderful momma!

I really commend you for sharing your story of post partum depression. The thing that made me truly sad is that you have suffered for so long with this illness. I understand that you want(ed) to try a holistic approach. I just wonder that if you had tried an anti-depressant, that are well researched and studied, you could have possibly felt better a long time ago. To suffer for so long is heartbreaking. I think women (and men) should not be embarrassed to try an anti-depressant. It can truly help. Please make sure that on your website you do not shame women who try anti-depressants for post partum depression. This will only set women back and keep them in hiding with their illness. If holistic works - Great! If it doesn't, please try other things. I use Reiki, massage, nutrition, exercise and an antidepressant to keep me feeling like myself and it works for me. Everyone is different and should keep all options available to them. I wish you and your beautiful family all the best.

I think it should be mandatory that all pregnant women should undergo some sort of training/awareness class so that they will know what the signs of post partum depression are so that they don't have to be eaten up with guilt and unhappiness when/if they experience it. I admire you for having the courage to speak on this topic.

I'm single and in my mid-20s, but would like a family someday. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your struggles with the world. Women in general can put so much pressue on themselves to do EVERYTHING in life, and then are expected to be 100 percent happy at all times. I found your story and struggles to find your balance as a new mom touching, and will keep a mental note of it all. These are the kind of things we all wish people WOULD have shared with others before having kids, and you went and educated the masses! BRAVO for being so brave! Best wishes towards health for you and your family!

Wow! I never knew that postpartum depression could last 3 years. That's unbelievable. After my second child was born, I experienced "baby blues" for a few months only. It was very mild compared to what you've been going through. Hopefully, things continue to improve for you.

Thank you for sharing your story of depression. I appreciate the holistic attitude but sometimes you need different meds prescribed by a medical doctor after extensive testing. Please consider this as a supplement. God Bless you and your family. You probably don't realize it but you may have saved someone's life with your story. I wish Bravo would show this side more than the tacky & trashy stories. Good Luck, may the stars shine down upon you

Thanks Peggy! I've gone through the exact same thing and thought that I was loosing my mind, even my family didn't know what was wrong with me. You've made it okay for women all everywhere who are experiencing post pardum depression to not be ashamed when speaking of it! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!

Thanks so much for opening up about this topic. You've already made such an impact! Sunday's episode really hit close to home being a mom myself. I'm not going to lie, I shed a few tears! I'm so glad you included your website. I was going to ask where I could find more information on homeopathics. I think it's awesome that you guys use these practices and are informing others. Way to go!!

Thanks for sharing your struggle. There is nothing wrong if you need prescription medication. You'd give a diabetic insulin, some people need medications.

lease don't count it out as a solution for someone in this situation.

omg. i thought i didnt like you, until this episode. i went through the same thing, got on an anti depressent for a few months and all better! please consider speaking with an MD. i promise you, u wont need it forever and it will help with all the anxiety issues u have. God bless and keep you, and thank you SO MUCH for putting yourself out there to help other women. best HW episode ever!!!!!

Peggy Your So Brave!!! I love you on the show I cant wait til we get know you a little better.I am glad your blog isn't about bashing someone else. You are so real keep it up!!!:>

Peggy this episode was so touching and I am glad you opened up about it . You seem like the most honest and down to earth house wife. Keep it up and I hope you are soon 100% free of your postpartum depression. All the best and much love

Thanks for being so willing to share your struggle with postpartum depression. That is one of the things I worry will happen if I ever have a baby. I have anxiety and I also suspect mild depression and take a prescription drug for it. I think you mentioned something about also having anxiety and I am curious to know how you control it without prescription meds. Maybe you will include that on your website ?

I was a little baffled at to why you didn't take your daughter to the ER and instead had Micah do it, but I guess it was probably better to have him there as he was calmer. I can understand why you didn't want to take your other daughter along. Glad it wasn't serious!!

Peggy,

I would love it if you could tell me where you got the black top with gold metal hoop details ??? I loved it :)

thanks

Peggy, You truly need to seek the help of a true physican! I believe in some things holistic,but this could develop,if it already hasn't into serious depression!

Thank you for your openness about postpartum depression. I am a survivor of severe postpartum depression, anxiety, and panic disorder with a darling 16 month old son. Many people do not realize that 1 in 5 women will suffer from a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. It is a real illness - not just something a person can 'tough out'. I applaud your efforts for being open and honest. As I always say about my struggle, honesty breaks down stigma. From one surviving and thriving mama to another - bravo! Your story just may be the catalyst to save a woman's life or repair a family that is reeling from the havoc that ppd can reek. Also, please be open to the thought of medication. I do not mean for you, every woman's road to recovery is her own and should be respected, but for the legions of women out there who do need medication to survive and thrive. I feel that whatever treatment method is decided upon by a woman, her family, and medical professionals should be applauded - be it therapy (CBT/EMDR/interpersonal, etc.), meds, accupuncture, homrone therapy, light therapy, nutrtitional supplements, yoga, excercise, weaning from breastfeeding, etc. The road to recovery is bumpy enough - as women we need to support the journey that feels best for that particular person. Thanks again! Joan from MN - Happy, Healthy, Surviving and Thriving, Proud Mama to a beautiful 16 month old boy

wow...I'm not alone. I have been suffering with depression for a few years now after the birth of my twin girls. This year has been the worst for me. I have had help with prescription medication but it seems to level off. I feel good for a few weeks & then the depression comes back. The doctors just up my dosage which works for a while but as I said, the dark days come back. I feel worthless, useless, sad, angry, unhappy...I feel like I can't do anything right, like I'm a bad mom. I have so much but it never feels good enough. I am lucky to have the husband I do...he is my rock. I pray that like your husband, he doesn't give up on me....because if I were him, I may have given up a long time ago. Thank you for sharing your story. I don't feel as alone & as guilty for feeling the way I do & it also makes me see that even all the money in the world doesn't make the sadness go away. I will be researching your website to natural solutions to postpartum depression as I don't think the medicine thing is working for me, nor is it healthy. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Peggy... I love the housewives... it is my guilty pleasure... :) That being said, I was so glad to see you discuss your PPD issue on the show. I'm sure it was a very difficult thing to talk about, but it seems to be considered such a taboo topic that it needs to be brought to the forefront so women know they are not alone or "crazy" when they experience similar feelings after giving birth. I too suffer from PPD (brought on after the birth of my 2nd beuatiful daughter)... 2 1/2 yrs after giving birth, I still maintain treatment to make sure I stay a calm and good mommy. The judgements from people asking why I'm still taking medication and "shouldn't I be over it by now" are harsh, but until they have experienced something like this, I know they will never understand. I especially found your MIL's comment about how your polarity had flipped very interesting. That is something I had never considered before and plan to look into!! Anyway, thanks again for sharing a serious piece of your life!!

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm concerned that it is unhealthy to have the stress of filming, when you are already dealing with mental health issues from postpartum depression. The housewife fans can be brutal with their comments. Please don't take the negative comments to heart as Gretchen has done, as she is stewing in resentment.