Tamra Barney

Tamra opens up about her troubles with Simon.

on May 15, 20110

First off I want to say that the Texas trip looked like a blast. I'm a jeans and T-shirt type of girl with five pairs of cowboy boots that I never get to wear. I personally would rather be at a BBQ restaurant than at any fancy restaurant or hotel. The food looked so yummy and that cobbler...OMG! I felt bad for Alexis when she talked about her eating disorder, because now I can really see signs of it in her personality. Alexis was my daughter Sidney's age when her parents divorced, and I kept thinking about Sidney and wondering how she is internally processing everything. We had the kids in therapy for a while, but Alexis' comment made think it was time to go back and see how they are doing a year later. I talk with them once a week about how they are feeling and what they thinking. But sometimes a therapist can get them to say so much more. I make a lot of smart a-- comments in my interviews, and I think the comment about Alexis being anorexic was in bad taste, especially now that I know what she has gone through.

I would not feel right not saying something about Alexis' comments on gay marriage, so here I go. Considering a huge number of our very loyal fans and followers come from the gay community, I am shocked to hear her comments and opinions about gay marriage and same-sex partnerships. This is 2011 and the majority of this amazing free country we are blessed to live in is rooting for equality and peace among all races, backgrounds, and sexual orientations. I sure hope she can educate herself and find room in her heart to be more understanding about what true love means.

This was a hard episode for me to watch. It brought me back to a very dark place in my life that still seems to bring me to tears. Before I moved out of my apartment, we shared custody of our dog, Bella. The house I moved into did not allow dogs. I had looked at many houses, and I could not pass up this house. It was on a great street close to the kids school, less than a mile from Simon's house, and it was the right price. So I told Simon that Bella would have to be with him full time after I moved. He had no problem with it at first. We agreed I would help out when I had the kids, and we would pick up Bella for a couple hours and take her for a walk or go to the park.

That night something must of happened with the dog, and he was mad. I was in the kitchen, the girls were in their room, and Spencer was downstairs In the living room. It was about 9:00 at night, and I heard a pounding on the front door. Spencer jumped up to get it, and I was yelling, "Don't open the door," as he was opening it. I had no idea who would be pounding on the door that late. Spencer opened the door, and the rest is history. I called my attorney, and he told me to file a report. This was not the first time something like this had happened, and I needed it on paper. I didn't call 911, I called the local police station and told them what happened and asked if I could come down the next morning and file a report. They said they could send an officer over in twenty minutes who could help me.

My biggest fear was getting the kids in the middle of this mess. I went to their rooms and told them a little white lie. I said that the landlord was mad at me, because the dog was not supposed to be there, and that he was sending a cop over to talk to me so they had to stay in their rooms.

72 comments
lori allen
lori allen

My friends think I'oum nuts I love you.

karen martens
karen martens

OMG Tamra, i know exactly what you are going through. i was married for 24 years three children, 21,20, and 15. i understand all the feelings you are going through. i sit there and watch and just say to myself, man i know what she means ( meaning you). and in a weird way. i dont feel so alone. i;m so happy you are moving on and in a good place. I truly mean that. I hope everthing goes well. for you. You are smart and beuatiful women. Have a great life honey. Karen, from Naperville,il

ashly11
ashly11

Hahahah Tamara, i LOVE your comment "I am not the bull with the big horns, I am the bull with the big balls"! You are the absolute best :)

Rosa Narvaez
Rosa Narvaez

Tamra:

Im very proud of you to stand up for your self and to stand up to Gina. I have no idea what makes it her business to get in yours but please just F*&$% off GINA!!!!. That women needs to get a life and stop enaibleling mens bad behaivuor, Im glad you tought Simmon a lesson. You are doing great so continue doing it. you have everything going for you, a great boyfriend and wonderful children, Rock On!!!!

Rosa Narvaez

JVB
JVB

for those who think they are in any position to criticize Tamra in such a hateful way... I can only hope that your favorite housewives are as perfect as you expect Tamra to be. Shouldn't your name of "keeping it real" be changed to "keeping it poisoned"? Get over yourselves unless your glass houses bear no guilt.

MGeorgia
MGeorgia

Tamra - so glad you are moving on with your life. I'm so glad you were able to see through your fog and leave Simon. He truly was holding you back and suffocating you and who you truly are. Be yourself! Take care of your kids, live, love and be happy.

I am so glad you are there for Vicki. Good friends are truly hard to find.

Take care!

emmtrac
emmtrac

Tamara, Simon was a controlling manupulative man, anyone who did not see that is a fool, blind or living in LaLa Land and I'm only a viewer of the show ! You tried hard keeping your marriage together yet he never gave you credit for anything. At times, he acted more like your father than your husband! You even lost friends because of his actions and behavior so don't feel guilty about anything. As for his arrest, that was his call, not yours and you did the right thing. Don't let Jeana or anyone else tell you different! If Jeana ever got any self esteem, she would tend to her own garden instead of planting seeds in someone else's yard. She is an intruder so treat her like one! Ignore, ignore, ignore.....Sooner than later she will realize she has no-one except for maybe Simon and her ex. Don't give her any air time. Ignoring someone hurts more than words! Try it, trust me, it works. Love you Tamara and Eddie! Give Gretchen and Alexis to boot too! You, Peggy and Vicki with your mates are more fun to watch anyway....Love from Texas

ELIZABETHMARIE87
ELIZABETHMARIE87

I REALLY LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE MOVING ON WITH LIFE, ITS HARD BUT YOU ARE DOING IT.

Viewer
Viewer

Tamra...I do understand the legalities and I do believe that you really did not want Simon arrested but he does need to learn his boundaries. You are a free spirit and Simon is a control freak...the two of you tried hard to make your marriage work and it is sad that it did not work (and it is hard however I believe that he would have become more and more controlling and I think that it is much harder on children to see a marriage that is toxic! It is very hard but don't second guess yourself. I think that you got out at the right time!

AmberJenelle
AmberJenelle

Tamera.. You are the housewife that keeps me watching! You are so normal. :)

aldee33
aldee33

I love you! You are the best!!

Bionicman
Bionicman

Tamara,

I wish you the best and I know it will all work out for you, you are a great person :)

Allison Vantarakis
Allison Vantarakis

Tamra,

I felt JUST LIKE YOU for so long. Things were very similar.....I ended up leaving my husband and the divorce was taking a while (and I ended up with a boyfriend). It was very painful....I was dying inside because of all the hurt that was caused and that he was in a bad place. People didn't believe that I was devestated because I broke his heart and hurt him. It nearly ruined both our lives. However, if you know it's right, you have to continue to hold your head high and carry yourself with confidence and grace. People like Jeana will fall to the wayside and you'll end up with a very happy life with Eddie (like you deserve). God bless.

Allison

dawnieb
dawnieb

This is very true... sorry Tamara

Kk7
Kk7

Your beautiful just stay strong we all know you can do it!

DisturbedViewer
DisturbedViewer

Tamara, I'm sorry, but I kind of agree with "just keeping it real". You've been pretty mean in the past, especially to Gretchen. I wish you both could just back off and let each other be.

Wyn
Wyn

I think KARMA is the key word here! You are the queen of gossip...whether it be what you read on the internet or from other people. And your chickens have come home to roost!

orangepeach
orangepeach

Wow, you are lucky to have your new guy in your life he is balanced and is trying to help you to move away from DRAMA. Tamara I am glad you took a stand with Simon now time to move on and make your life more real, stop the back stabbing of your friends and or find new friends. Eddie is good for you, he is mature and with your children you need to mature UP!

Caracara
Caracara

Jeana has the hots for Simon.

Pam82bc
Pam82bc

Tamra: your sense of humor fricken rocks. Love IT!

These hurdles only make us appreciate the good so much more.

margwill13
margwill13

I ended a 12 year relationship 1 year ago, and in watching this episode, I could relate to everything that you were feeling and going through. Like you, i have this overwhelming feeling to want 'him' to just be okay, to not be suffering from the hurt, to move on from the anger. And I feel responsible for causing him pain after ending the relationship. In the end, i know it's for the best and i've been able to move on, but it's an odd thing to still mourn the loss of one relationship, while moving forward with a new one. Stay strong. We can only hope that it gets better with time and one day, the relationship can maybe get back to a friendship. Best of luck!

JMarie
JMarie

You handled all of that so well, Tamra. Keep lookin' good and having fun!

chattycathy867
chattycathy867

I agree that you were right to report the incident. Watching the show last season, I kept noticing how Simon was constantly putting you down and trying to keep you away from your friends. I've been through a similar incident where I had someone telling me I wasn't "really" abused. Just because the scars aren't visible doesn't mean they don't cut as deep or hurt as much.

Thank you for sharing your story on camera. Hopefully your story will empower women who are in similar relationships to get help.

JamieL
JamieL

Tamra, you're the only reason I still watch this show! You are a very smart and beautiful woman. Hang in there!

Koliver
Koliver

I can understand what you are saying but every relationship is different.

Kimmy from Ohio
Kimmy from Ohio

You ROCK! And i hope you and Eddie are together for the long haul. He seems really great. He is supportive without getting into the drama. He seems to really balance you out. Love that you stood up to Simon. And i love that you always say what everyone else is thinking but won't say. The part about Donn has crossed my mind too.

denitaylor
denitaylor

Tamra, I really like watching you this year!! It seems that since you are not with Simon any more your true personality has come out!! I love it! You remind me of me! And what a cutie your boyfriend is!! Kudos to you!!

ketee
ketee

I am glad things are working out for you. You Peggy and Vicki are the reason I watch this show.

Viewer123678
Viewer123678

Gretchen is so obsessed with you! Can she back up??

Tamra Fan
Tamra Fan

You are so beautiful! I like that you tell it how it is and don't act for the cameras. I'm so sorry for what you and your family is going through, but I believe your strength can overcome anything! If I could spend a day with any of the housewives it would be you!

KN101988
KN101988

Jeana had no right to stick her nose in your business. Maybe you should think about that before you stick your nose in others business next time.

RachelLaurie
RachelLaurie

Tamra you are the whole reason I watch the show! I feel like I can relate to you. I have also been through a rough marriage and got into a new relationship fairly quickly. You are so right when you said that you didn't allow yourself enough time to heal...I'm right there. But it is great to have that one person you know can make all the bad go away and when it's the right one you just know. You are helping me through my bad times and I only wish great things for your future. I'm praying for you, girl! You're my inspiration!

Jennifer A
Jennifer A

Tamra you r so awesome. Gina should mind her own damn business! You did the right thing! You need to protect your self and kids. I so glad to see you happy, Eddie seems like a great guy!

Ohio Viewer
Ohio Viewer

Tamra, I can comfortably say that I have walked in your shoes with my ex-husband, with whom I have two wonderful children with, and I can absolutely relate to every word you say. I swear it's like living my life all over again. Just know that it gets better and better. It's not wonderful, but it works now. And I'm sure you and Simon will find that common ground someday. Until then, use your friend, your man and above all, your children to help you through the hard times. Oh, but one thing I didn't have is a Jeana and I can't say I'm disappointed! My best to you and your situation. Stay strong! It gets better. And I love love love your sense of humor, don't lose it no matter how much flack you take from the lessor funny women! a.k.a. G, A, J.

Meliss AA
Meliss AA

OMG!! Jeana had no right to do that!! non of her business...On your side on this one

haras
haras

Well done, keep your head up!

shoefly808
shoefly808

I'm not normally a fan of Tamra but I felt very bad for her in last night's episode. Jeanna had no right to insert herself into their situation and force her opinion. Divorce is so complicated and painful. No one but the two people in the ruined relationship truly knows what happened to get them to that point.

I hope Tamra is in a better place now and has some peace.

Dallas Fan
Dallas Fan

Tamra, I have not been a fan of your at all this season. However, when you were talking with Jeana I did see some realness to you. You make a lot of mean comments about people and you don't seem very tolerant of others flaws, but I just think you've been so unhappy for so long that that tends to happen after years of being down. However, I hope you see that you have a good thing with Eddie, who obviously hates the drama of all the women, and he really seems sincere in his love towards you. Hang on to him girl.

Orange County Latina
Orange County Latina

WOW Jeana has no right to get into your business, she knows nothing about your relationship...Well she was brought into it kinda like the way YOU were brought into it with Gretchen and you did the exact same! You judged Gretchen without knowing ANYTHING about her realtionship with Jeff.....remember? Ya it's called Karma :)

serenade
serenade

Tamra sweetie, you've been from relationship to relationship so quickly that you haven't taken time for yourself. It's as if you go with whatever the guy in your life wants at the time. You're a great woman and I know you mean well. Please take some time out on your own so you can get to know yourself and know what YOU really want.

Cate from Chicago
Cate from Chicago

You and your hysterical comments are the reason I watch the show! Your humor balances out all the drama and keeps things fun. It's what's missing from NY now that Bethenny's gone. Keep it up, your great.

Jessi Pendleton
Jessi Pendleton

Good for you for sticking up for yourself! NO on has any business judging or placing their opinions on situations involving others lives. Opinions are like a*%$#@&! everyone has them.

BALTIMORE
BALTIMORE

Jeana should stay out of your business and you should stay out of Slades business

reginaern
reginaern

I agree that G's comments were uncalled for.

RL
RL

Jeana is one weird chick. I don't get it. She is all about the men which is strange given that she is alone all the time. It looks to me like she needs to get her own life. If she had something going on she would not be so obsessed with relationships that do not feature her. Tamara, you are right about Gretchen. For her to dislike you so much she sure spends a lot of time thinking about you and talking about you.

Viewer444
Viewer444

I feel bad that you have to explain every detail of life for the sake of some big mouth attention seeker. Stay strong girl! I don't think I am the only one who thinks you are handling your situation in the best possible way. Good luck!

just keeping it real
just keeping it real

Tamra---You deserve everything you get. You have badmouthed everyone on the show---you made every kind of snide remark about Gretchen to the press when the man she loved was dying. You slam Slade when his child is fighting cancer. You make every kind of below the belt comments about other people and are so happy when harmful things happen to the other girls. You are a real piece of work and what you has sown will come back on you and you deserve every bit of it. I only pity your children.

momplus5
momplus5

Why open up about Simon at all? It seems as of late he has kept his head down and focused on his kids. You make more money than him..big deal..he supported your lavish lifestyle for years. Now you are dating someone with money so you can go back to being supported. Your shallowness shows through loud and clear!