Tamra, not trying to be a downer, but i too am going thru divorce, and from my experience, the first guy out the gate was a rebound guy....all the sex just seemed so awesome after not having it and feeling so good after for so long....just saying. enjoy it, but dont count on it!

"equal opportunist", self declared, hehehe, re: love for all, in all directions
...is all i might say, as it was nice to just be comment 69 and for brevity's sake, but can't help adding:
i, tess jr, gay male thing, for one, applaud you as shimmering ally or glamorous fairy queen, not just the cool, lucky friend of sweet, red hot Fernanda) and wish you the best with your good hunk Eddie and all.

WE LOVE YOU MISS TAMRA !!
for your pithy, realist support, you're now with Margaret ("Denying gay men bridal registry, for the economy? Insane!") CHO...with your voicing equal opps for love and all, "...let gays share the pain", of the sacred cow of marriage.

Tamra,
I swooped in to see your show in reruns so this may not be timely, but Simon had all the makings of a classic control freak abuser-I know from experience. Just know that from now on, if ANY man has you doubting yourself and second guessing, that he is wrong for you.

You're beautiful inside and out, so don't give up. Like you, I started over in my 40's. It can be done. I wish you well!

Love, Light and Happiness,
Lisa

Tamra-
I relate with you sooo much more than any other housewife. I admire how strong willed and truthful you are, I have a best friend that reminds me a lot of you.
I wish you the best with your divorce. I'm sooo sorry for the pain that you must be feeling, and I hope that you find happiness.
Don't let anyone tear you down, you are a great person. Sure you make mistakes, but everyone does. Continue being you!
Tiara

I don't think that kissin your girlfriend on the mouth is that big of deal. I have a friend & she always kisses on the mouth. That says a lot about a friendship! We are very close & I think of her as a sister.

i feel you r the down to earth 1 on this show i can tell by the way you come across
in that live show when you all were there

I can really relate to you. I am in a controlling relationship too. I record and watch every season and then watch the reruns again. I was watching 2010 and when you met with your mother and told her about wanting a divorce from Simon. I can so relate, even to the point (when my husband wake up from his nap because he does watch you and said IS THAT YOUR TWIN). The thing that stuck out to me the most was when your mother said, he wants a housewife and you are so much more than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so me. I have kids too a 16 and 4 year old. I go through the struggles you do with Ryan with my 16 year old. It is pretty much the same... Bravo to you and whatever you do. You deserve to be happy.

I really did not like how you were in the past but now you are starting to grow on me. I agree with you when it comes to Gretchen she should just get over it...what said and done is done...she was a guest at your event and she should not have acted the way she did..I like that you share more of yourself this season!! This is what makes me relate to you..your humanity!

Tamra-
over time, the pain from divorce does subside especially once there is someone new in your life. As far as divorce affecting the kids, you will see how resilient children are. I have been divorced for 9 years and i have 2 children. Their father walked out 10 years ago and we haven't seen him since. He lives all the way on the other side of the country... he has no contact with them because he is too busy with his new wife and her son. My children are now 10 and 12, know the truth about what happened as well as know how much of a jerk their father is (trust me, i don't have to tell them... they are reminded of it every birthday and christmas for the past 10 year when they don't even get a card from him)
You deserve so much better than Simon. I can't wait to "meet" your new man. You are a beautiful woman with wonderful children and deserve all the best. I will give simon credit though that he is being a dad. I know its hard but you will make it and dont' feel bad if you have those emotional moments (i get them when i see my sons friends dad playing ball with his kids and my son!!) Best of luck to you!! Keep smiling!

Hmmm, interesting way you're thinking "Simon tried to control me" and now he says "They are not your friends." Sounds like he might be trying to still control you. If he such a good friend of their's why would he say that about them and to you??? Something to think about.

Tamra:

You are capable of supporting yourself; you have done it before, and you can do it again.

There are some others on the show who'd be flopping around like a fish out of water, dying a slow death, if their husbands were to leave them. You will be okay.

That trait might not be perceived as glamorous, but to many people it's very attractive. Most importantly, it's practical.

The mere fact you will publicly state that you need to cut back speaks volumes about your cavalier regard for the stereotypical OC flaunts.

Regarding the comparison of your marriage with Simon to Alexis and Jim, I think the biggest difference is you vs. Alexis. You are independent, a thinker, and a self-starter. Jim needs to give Alexis permission to wake up in the morning, and he needs to approve what she says: "sometimes I say things and Jim needs to put me back in line." Therefore, she's content with being a drone, or a programmable robot of sorts, but you're not. You should be proud of yourself, and make friendships with other people who can think on their own. I think you'll find the relationship to be much more rewarding. Don't forget, you were in a marriage where 50% of the people wanted to control you, but innately you knew that was wrong or against your values.

Good luck. I'm excited to meet Eddie.

People always claim to have concern about someone else's life, marriage, relationship, etc but the truth is, its none of your business!!!! You were just down right rude, you just come off as this evil cold hearted bitter person. You say simon was so negative but your the exact same way. Stop talking so much crap about everyone and move on with your life.

I have been watching the Housewives from the word go and i love each one for a different reason ..Tamra is strong sexy and has the whole package ..The ex soon to be Ex husband was mental abusing you and NO one needs that in there life ..So you stand up dust your self off and you show him and any other man that when you take something for granted you lose the best thing in life ..

Tamra getting a divorce for any reason is difficult. My husband and were married for 13 years and even though I suffered through his mental abuse through most of the marriage it felt like something was missing when we parted. That was five years ago and now I do not know why I stayed so long. At this time your main focus needs to be on your children, as long as you focus on living as a good person God will send the right person to you. You are such a good person and I think Gretchen pulls you down to her level. You need to distance yourself from her. She does not have the class of you, Vicki, Alexis and previous housewifes. Hopefully since she has no children and is not a housewife Bravo will get rid of her. In the mean time hold your head high and be the bigger person.

You are so vibrant and really funny this season!! You seem so much less stressed and free. Thank you for your take on Alexis, it was true and also hilarious!

Tamara, my experience is that even if u r the one to want the split... It is still very painful. I left my husband who was abusive and controlling among other things after 10 years. I didn't start to feel normal until about three years after our actual divorce. It's a painful and emotional process, and u both will b reactive and crazy for some time. The good news is, it does get better. 10 years later and I'm soooo much happier. Wishing u and ur family the best.

omg Tamara-- your trainer is sizzling hot! hot enough to switch teams for!!!
I too have a broken heart right now after an 8 year love affair that I got into as soon as i separated from my husband-- be careful with your heart --its too easy to fall for someone when your this vulnerable and trying to get thru the divorce. Try a divorce work shop --it helps a lot --good luck!
again I think your trainer needs her own show--yum!

It is time to grow up Tamra, you are still the same petty person you have always been. You talked about moving forward and mending fences, but that doesn't seem to be true. You still talk nasty about people especially Gretchen. You need to look in the mirror and say those words you say about Gretchen and apply them to yourself. You started dating before your divorce was finalized, you can't deny it since it is on tape. You are still consumed in projecting this image of being such a great person and that you are better than everyone else, which is not true. You need to start acting your age and live your own life. Stop talking about other peoples lives and just focus on you and your children. At least Gretchen will say stuff to your face and not behind your back like you do.

Honestly, I think you love all and any attention Tamara. Nothing wrong with that! However, really, I don't think you are a 'true' friend to anyone, expecially Vicki, who desperately wants to think that you are a true friend, but really, it's only when it's convenient to you.

You flirting with that gal, another attention ploy...if you are not gay, and have no intentions with her, why lead her on. You say yourself you shouldn't have.

I don't think your divorce makes you sad, I think that having less money makes you sad. I hope you find happiness with your new guy and put your life in order. You seem like you can be a really nice person, but are caught up in your own circumstances.

Tamara:

You do have a tendency to be snarky and you're not really very good at apologizing, but then, who is perfect? The person I really feel sorry for is Simon. When he got married he was obviously under the impression that his opinion and needs were more important than yours. Silly man - they still want to believe they deserve worship! It seems that he thought he married someone who would be happy walking two steps behind (like Alexis) with her head down, just waiting for the next command from her king and master. And what he got was a smart, sassy, AMERICAN WOMAN! Poor Guy! If you ask me, seeing Alexis kow-tow to her husband's every whim and whimper made him envy Jim's powerful position and I bet he wanted you to "act" more like Alexis. No wonder he hated Vicki - she runs her own life with no apologies to anyone. Glad you seem to have found some happiness - hope it continues and the hurt recedes. Warmest wishes to you; hang in there!

Hang in tamra, and i totally agree Simon and Jim are a lot alike both like to keep things "under control", we'll see what happens in 5 years.

If you cant take it dont dish it out. You had it coming from Gretchen. And the only person who needs to accept responsibility for their actions is you. Leave other people's marriages alone as well - maybe if you would have focused on yours you wouldnt have torn your family apart. And stop blaming Simon for everything - put on your big girl pants.

Tamara, don't let the haters get too you. change is always hard an honesty harder yet. Keep focused on the things in your life that have meaning, enjoy your beautiful kids, share your heart with only those that are worthy of the gift. All things work out for the greater good. Stay Strong.

Tamra, as I once really enjoyed watching you, I now leave the room when it's about you and wait till another is on. You are a train wreck waiting to happen.

Time will heal but until then surround yourself with family and friends. Smile and keep your head up.

Tamra,

While I applaud your ability to move on, I don't think you have learned anything from the failure of your marriage. You seem to still be focused on being a "mean girl". I know you have gone through alot, but remember what's important..your children. What kind of example are you setting with your behavior. Learn from the past and be a better person.. that doesn't necessarily involve flaunting your independence.

Your blog says you are the sole supporter of the family? Simon doesn't pay child support or help with the kids at all?

LIVE, LEARN, LAUGH, LOVE. But remember the most important part is to learn. Loving is easy, it's the learning that trips people up! Take your time. Relax. Don't be so dang concerned about other people, their relationships, their lying cheating ways, how their dressed, who they sleep with, who pays their bills, or if the dig for gold... just concentrate on growing into the next phase of YOU.
It's chrysalis time. Become the new you.

Im watching the show from last week and i say i have a great appreciation for you. Your conversation with your trainer about how you keep your life with the kids separate from your love life. That is very refreshing to hear that there is women out there that do the same thing i do. I have first hand seen the damage it has caused with my kids when my ex-husband flanted his new lovers in front of them among other things. A lot of people dont realize that the kids take it the hardest since the only thing they have seen is mommy and daddy together. I know what is like to go through divorce and it took a toll on me but everyday i seen my kids it made me feel better. I can honestly say divorce isnt the end of life only a new beginning or fresh start. I have very much grown as a person mentally and emotionally to know what to look for in a life parnter. I wish you all the best and keep your head up high.

Tamra, You said that Simon was so negative, I find you just as negative. Saying Jim and Alexis's marriage will never last is pretty darn negative. Whining to Vicki about Gretchen being so mean while wearing the evil eye hat was negative. Sending that text to Andy about Slade was petty also. To this viewer you make many negative comments about things that aren't really any of your business. Try thinking positive thoughts about people for a change.

I think as I have thought for the past few years that you are very jealous of Gretchen and now Alexis can't wait to see how you act when Peggy comes around, they are younger and get more attention than you I got news for you we all get older and there will always be someone younger than you and better looking it is a fact. If Alexis is happy with her husband and their marriage works for them then stay out of it like Vickie should have yours.

I have to say I agreed with you completely when you were telling Alexis that you see similarities between Simon and Jim. I've seen that all along! I admire you for being brave enough to state those things to her. She got all defensive but that's to be expected from someone who is in a bad situation and isn't ready to acknowledge it yet. I think it's great to see you so happy this season, Tamara. You truly seem so much more relaxed and at ease and I'm so happy for you! It hurt me to see you hurting so much last season. I know a lot of people give you crap about being the "mean girl" but I could see past that stuff and see that you were just in a bad place. I hope you are on a road to true happiness now. I'm rooting for you!

Tamara,
You wrote that you were sad on what would have been your 12 year anniversary and hearing that your ex is now dating someone. Just wondering something - how come you dated someone so quickly if your divorce was so painful. Doesn't make sense to me.

I think you really need to stop talking about Gretchen. It's making you look petty and immature. Texting the stupid comment or tweet to Slade when they were on Whatch What Happens really made you look like a snotty brat. She didn't bring you up, why do you keep doing that to her? I think you need to take some responsibility for your relationship with her for the things you have said about her in the past. Obviously you're not trying to "move on" because your actions clearly show something different. Please don't use a "Camille defense" later by saying you were going through a rough time and that caused you to treat people in a certain manner. I know the episodes have all been taped so you can't go back, but stop with the pettiness that is coming out now. You should be the bigger person. Why should the fact that she has an assistant even provoke a comment from you? I think you have more more going on in your life, maybe you should concentrate on that.

Tamara...you are so right about Jim being so much like Simon, Alexis is just in denial. She wants to pretend like it's a perfect marriage...too bad she doesn't get it. I really admire you for having the courage to step out on your own. You are happier now and it shows.

Tamra,

In the second episode of this season where you're sitting down talking to Fernanda about your divorce, you're wearing this awesome black kinda of off the shoulder top that i absolutley LOVE. I was just wondering where you got it?
xoxo

Tamara ~ I think you're a wonderful person who is very strong and trying to provide for your family. Watching you gives hope to any woman who is going through difficult times. Breathe in the good and breathe out the bad.

Tamara' please, don't worry about the who said and she said, let it go with Gretchen and Alexis. The Older the wiser-- I too, see similarities between Jim and Simon, however Alexis sees herself as Jim's Queen. You have been there and done that. Rise above-it into the "NEW YOU" and you know that old saying about --give them enough rope? Gretchen is clearly unhappy, the lust stage for her and Slade is over. She seems bored with him, in-full toleration mode and once again, is focusing, reflecting "ON THE PAST" with the big brew ha' ha with all her "playing around" and "you" calling her out for-it!!! Gretchen's problem, and Gretchen's not fooling anyone. Divorce is very difficult and so far, you have made good choice's with your kid's, trying to be fair with Simon and keeping your personal interest's separate above all else. So' far, I'm seeing a better you, please keep that going-- just remember to think about what your saying first',,,! The softer the tongue, the better the language. Oh' BTW: Fernanda, project's a gentle soul, and seems very kind. Rare' to find people like her. Her being a lesbian has nothing to do with having a genuine friendship.

with warm re-gards,,, :) A Lynn

Please read 'Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men' by Lundy Bancroft.

This is a must read for all women but especially women that must deal with a controlling man. This book will give you the understanding needed to move forward with your life, for you and your children.

Tamra, you are still a mean girl (heard your tweet you sent to Andy on Watch What Happens) and comments about Alexis.... that makes you ugly inside and out! I don't think you will ever change because that is your personality, to be petty and jealous!

Your my new favorite!! I'm loving you this season. Getting rid of Simon was definitely good for you. You seem a lot happier:-)

Tamra,
You need to stop running your mouth so much about Gretchen. Okay, you guys don't get along, so what!!! Pray for her and move on. If she has an assistant, that not your problem. Also, you need to really evaluate yourself and be more active in building your career and being a great mother.

Peach,
Georgia Peach