The Icing on the Cake
Tamra wishes she handled the situation with Jeana differently.
Over the weekend I attended the San Diego Rock 'N' Roll marathon benefiting the leukemia and lymphoma society with a record breaking 33,000 runners! My kids ran the one mile, and Eddie and I ran the half marathon for the second year in a row. This year I did not train and did not expect to finish. As I walked to the shuttle at 4:30 AM a young, beautiful girl walked up to me and was so excited to meet me. She gave me a big hug and told me she was fan of the show. When I asked if she was running the full or the half she said, "I have leukemia and my sister is running for me." My heart broke and I knew at that point I would have to finish. The run was brutal, and I wanted to quit so many times, but we finished for Katie's sister and our time was better than last year. The Rock 'n' Roll marathon is coming to LA on October 30, I hope you can join us. It's a great cause and a lot of fun. Next year my goal is to finish in 1 hour and 45 minutes. I'm going to start training as soon as I can walk again!
Vicki was brave to continue with her party even though she was an emotional mess. I tried so hard to get her to stop crying and to bring her downstairs to greet her guests. You guys only saw a few minutes of it, but we were up there for a long time. She would pull it together and fix her makeup and then start crying all over again. It was nice that all the girls pulled it together and went up to give Vicki the support she needed.
I can't believe the season is over already. It sure went by fast and definitely went out with so many mixed emotions. I would like to say I am not proud of how I handled the situation with Jeana, and if I had to do it all over again, I would do it differently. Not to make excuses, but I really was in a bad place mentally. The divorce was taking a toll on me, and Jeana constantly talking to the press and bringing my children into it really was the icing on the cake. I tried two weeks prior to sit with Jeana and talk with her about why she felt the need to talk about my divorce to the press. I gave her the opportunity to ask me questions or let me answer any concerns she had, which I really didn't need to do. Especially since she is not my friend and not in my life. She said she was wrong and would not do it again. Besides, didn't Jeana leave the show because she didn't want all the "drama" us Housewives brought? A couple days before the party Jeana once again went to the press and said some pretty horrible things about me and even prompted a story that had a picture of my children in it. I went crazy inside! This is a woman that lets her husband and kids walk all over her. She is so used to abuse that she has low self esteem. The sad thing is I kind of feel sorry for her in a way. I am convinced that Jeana will continue to support men with bad behavior the rest of her life, and that is why she will never be in a healthy relationship.
When Peggy and Ricky went up to Jeana, they were only trying to help me out. She did exactly what she always does when she gets cornered -- denied and lied! Prior to me throwing the letter at her, the letter dropped to the ground as she refused to accept it. As it was picked up, she pushed me, which is what prompted me to throw it at her. I have never been so mad and heated in my life. After I threw the wine, I was shaking so badly that I ran out of there as fast as I could. I was so disappointed in myself for going down to her level that it haunted me for months, and now I have to relive it all over again. I did send Jeana a text telling her that I was sorry for throwing the wine in her face and will pay for any damages. As I walked away things got even crazier. Jeana threw wine on Michelle, and Michelle pushed Jeana into the bar. I think about five glasses got thrown that night.
I had to laugh when Jeana walked home and was totally fine calling me all kinds of names, but as soon as she got on the phone she started fake crying to Simon. It almost makes me wonder if she is trying to hook up with Simon like everyone is telling me?
The letter did stop Jeana from talking about my divorce and my children to the media. However, she has now taken to social media claiming me and Eddie were yelling racial slurs and gay bashing her friend Ben, which is a total lie. First off, half our friends are gay, and why would race play a part of anything? This 55-year-old woman has nothing better to do?
Then in the other corner of the party Alexis and Peggy are fighting over whose lips are bigger. Well, we all know that was not what they were truly fighting about. Obviously there is way more to their history than we all know. Only they know if their friendship is worth saving.
It was nice that all the girls came to me to see if I was okay, but of course Gretchen had to compare my situation with Jeana to ours. That is like comparing oranges to apples. We all know the nature of this show is to sit in the interview chair and answer questions about our cast members. Gretchen accused me of dating Simon's best friend and being a bad mom this season. I really don't care what she thinks or says about me to be honest. She has taken up talking about me on and off camera like a new career. There is a reason I kept me kids off the show this season, and that was to not have them be a part of this circus. I knew my divorce was going to be a big part of my story line. So when Jeana brought attention to my divorce and my kids, I was furious. For goodness sake, she is not even on the show anymore! I can't take back how I reacted to Jeana, but what I can do is learn from this mistake. I will never allow my anger to bring me down to some else's level. I am learning to think before I react while upset. It is something that I have always had an issue with.
I hope you enjoyed the show this season, and instead of judging all the Housewives, be happy that we are all brave enough to have our personal lives filmed for your entertainment. Every one of us has great traits that we can all learn from.
Vicki is an amazing mom and business woman and taught me that things are not always perfect, no matter how hard you work at it.
Gretchen is strong and won't let anyone or anything get her down. I learned from her that no matter how much you love someone, you have to accept their faults.
Peggy is positive and strong, but lets us see her weak side. She is a breath of fresh air. She has taught me that even though you have it all, you can still suffer internally.
Alexis is a devoted wife and Christian. She taught me that standing by your man even though you don't always believe in what he is saying is OK.
I truly do care about all my cast members, even though it doesn't always seem like it. In the end we are a big, dysfunctional family that keeps being brought back together year after year.