The First 'Wives Club's Assistant Editor distills all the 'Wife wisdom from Episode 13.

Jun 5, 2011


A good friend knows just what to say to calm you down. By far my favorite moment of the episode is when Tamra urges Vicki to calm down and think about life insurance. Clearly this is Vicki's version of breathing into a paper bag or imagining a babbling brook, so hats off to Tamra, because it seemed to help.

Good friends don't "crap" on their friend's husband, especially when that husband isn't present. In the latest installment of the seemingly never ending jab debate, Alexis calls out Peggy for "crapping" on her husband, which evidently refers to the Ferrari off. Alexis thinks you should never make jabs at your friend's husband, while Peggy thinks you should never make jabs at your friend. Who's right? Well presumably both of them, so the lesson learned might be to vent your frustrations to a third party rather than confronting the person you're upset with. Because that always works out well...

Physical Education

Always be sure to practice your wine throwing skills before going to a party that your enemy is attending. I mean seriously, Tamra has quite the eagle eye. Maybe she was the pitcher for her softball team in high school? Whatever the reason, she really tossed that wine with deadly accuracy. So either visit your local dunk tank for practice or wear a big smock to any Housewives events in Coto, otherwise you risk some serious red wine stains. At the very least be sure to pack a Tide To-Go stick in your clutch.

Make sure if you're going to throw a drink that it hits your intended target, because you might piss off someone even more fiery. Such was the case with the woman in the blue dress. She got caught in that crossfire and was not going to take that lying down. I think she would have thrown a drink at every person that crossed her path until she sussed out who the culprit was. Whatever you do, never stain a Coto girl's dress, because she will find you and have her revenge.

Well next week get ready for all sorts of reunion goodness. It should be a completely calm, peaceful, almost zen-like affair (If you haven't picked up on the sarcasm yet, something is very wrong with you). Take a look for yourself: