The First 'Wives Club's Assistant Editor distills all the 'Wife wisdom from Episode 3.

Mar 21, 2011

The O.C. ladies definitely made me believe in love and sex and magic this week (a la Ciara). There was so much love and sex going on, that it truly was quite magical. We learned that closets in the O.C. see a lot of action, bondage happens even on "Jesus Lane," and that chugging a glass of red wine is a great way to relieve performance anxiety. All in one episode! 


Nothing says "I am not a princess" like a tiara. Or a license plate that says, "This is what a princess looks like." So if you are trying to prove that you are not a witch for example, the key is to wear a pointy black hat. And to affix a license plate to your broom which says, "This is what a witch looks like." Or if you wanted to prove you were not a hipster, you should probably wear the skinniest jeans you can find. And attach a license plate to your bike that says, "This is what being ironic looks like." In any event, I'm glad Alexis and Gretchen have cleared the air. This episode is all about love in all forms!

Thigh high boots are appropriate at any age. If I had a body like Peggy's after having three children, I'd probably be rocking them as well. If you've got it flaunt it, right? 

What's better than getting a watch on vacation? Getting two watches on vacation. Hats off to the Bellino family, they know how to do a vacation right. 


Overcommunication is essential to managing renovations. Even if that means communicating in a language you don't speak. Vicki's attempt to speak Spanish was, I must admit, a little painful. "No scratchy the new woody?" I'm guessing Spanish was not Vicki's strong suit in high school. But hey, at least she made an attempt, right? And if there's anyone who could keep things on schedule, it's Vicki Gunvalson. 

Even if you divide up the work of planning a trip, be sure to communicate with your partner to make sure that you remember everything. Like the nanny's lone suitcase. This is where being "psychotically persistent" comes in handy I imagine. I wonder if Vicki has ever forgotten anything on a trip? My guess is no.