The First 'Wives Club's Assistant Editor distills all the 'Wife wisdom from Episode 1.

Mar 7, 2011

Orange County is back, and as the mother of all Housewives goodness, we here at Bravo HQ felt we would be remiss not to blog about it. Thus, in order to pay homage to our blonde bombshells, we bring you "The First 'Wives Club," in which I ('s Assistant Editor of Bam Squad fame) will be distilling the wisdom provided by the first ladies of Bravo into lessons for your everyday life. Similar to how we all learned about the importance friendship and women's empowerment through the adventures of Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, and Bette Midler in the seminal 1996 film, The First Wives Club. Just for today's Housewives lover.


Alexis provided some helpful tips for avoiding disaster while watching children. Watch out, Dr. Spock!

1. Never give children chap stick and/or lip-gloss lest they eat it, not wear it.

2. Try and do as Jesus would. Don't burn the toast.

3. Always pee with the door open so you can prevent biting and fighting.

4. The most devastating punishment for a little girl? Taking away her accessories.