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Vicki Gunvalson

An Off Night

Vicki explains what was going on between her and Donn.

May 1, 2011

Wow, wasn't Peggy's dinner party spectacular? There isn't anything that she didn't think of. It was amazing. The night was warm and with all of her soft lighting and a professional singer singing in the background, it was very romantic and classy. I had just flown in earlier that afternoon from a business trip in Atlanta for a week,and really had no desire to go at all. I was tired and crabby, but once Eddie and Tamra came over I immediately got in the mood. Having Donn and Eddie meet was fun for Tamra and I, because last year Simon brought so much tension that it was hard to have fun and go out as couples. I really like Eddie, and it so nice to finally see Tamra being treated so well and respected. I hope they live a long and happy life together.

When I found out Slade and Jim were not planning on showing up to the dinner party, I thought it was rude to Peggy. She had a couples' dinner party planned for over a month, and I found it weird that Gretchen and Alexis brought their "male assistants" instead. It was very uncomfortable when they were lying for their men as to why they didn't show, and the fact of the matter is they both were in town and just didn't feel like coming. I'm sure they knew if they did come there ultimately would be some sort of drama, so they opted out for the evening. I feel bad sometimes when I hear some of the things I have said about Jim and Slade on camera, but I've been known to have a limited filter on my voice and sometimes I have to say what I think.

I find it very strange and insecure that Alexis made such a huge deal that Jim wasn't at the dinner party. She was acting as if she was out of town in another country and wasn't going to see him for a month. I mean sheesh, she was gone for three hours and it upset her so much that she ended up crying uncontrollably. I don't understand how that could have upset her so much. I mean she knew when she got in the car and headed over to Peggy's that Jim was not with her, so why the big alligator tears?

It was an off night for Donn and I, as I am sure all of you have had in your relationship from time to time. They are terribly uncomfortable, especially when you have to be filming and around a bunch of couples who are kissy kissy. We hadn't seen each other in a few weeks due to traveling for my business, Coto Insurance, and it always seemed to take us a while to re-enter the relationship once we get back together. Donn has a sharp tongue sometimes that most people never really see, but tonight you got a little glimpse of it. I was raised by my mother who screamed when she was mad, and I vowed I would never be in a relationship with anyone that screamed when they were angry. Although Donn is not 100% like my mom, he does tend to have a sharp tongue and has been known to be a screamer when angry. It was hard to see him this episode call me a b----, as I don't recall ever calling him a swear word or a bad name. When the subject came up about him and I having children, it was very hard for me to watch. When Donn and I got married, he told me he wanted a family with me and to have our own children together. After our first year of marriage, we had separated for a few months and the fear of having a baby once we reconciled was scary for both of us. I elected to get my tubes tied at 34 with Donn's full support, since I was afraid of ever having an "oops" baby and realized my hopes for a large family was not in my cards. In hindsight I don't know if that was my best decision, but at the time it seemed the right thing to do.

Next:
Work Hard, Play Harder
Work Hard, Play Harder Vicki explains why she was so worried about Briana in Vegas. May 1, 201164 Comments The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 6 / Episode 8 / Vicki Gunvalson

Comments

79 Comments

Donn and Jeana! Donn and Jeana! Could this be RHOOC snipoff??? They could double date with uh, can't think of anyone they could go on a date with. Well, no snipoff for them..

Vicki, I was struck my something you said on a recent episode....you were home alone and commented on how lonely it is. Perhaps now you know how Don felt while he was sitting home, waiting for you to come home from work.....perhaps now you know how lonely he was as he sat home eating dinner alone. I feel for you because your life is changing so drastically however, we get what we give. I hope you've learned what's important in life and it is not sitting behind a computer screen crunching numbers - it's the person who is sitting at home, waiting for us.

Vicki,
I appreciate your hard-working qualities. The success you've had with your business is very admirable- it speaks for itself of your work ethic and of the competent, hard-working assistants/employees you've had over the years- let's face it- you couldn't have gotten there without them, as well- you really can't do EVERYTHING. I also know it is very fulfilling and gratifying to be successful in your career.
I have to say, I agree with you- I get tired of hearing some of the other housewives complaining about how busy they are. There is nothing that irritates me more than women who talk about how busy they are and how overwhelmed they are, but they don't work outside the home. Yes, I know work at home takes a lot of time and energy for us women, but try doing everything at home AND working outside the home for a minimum 40 hours per week.... You get my point....
That being said, I would really like to encourage you to realize there is more to life than your work. Despite the rough times you and Donn go through- realize how fortunate you are to have such a great guy in your life. Not many men are secure or supportive enough to allow their wife to travel a lot for work or to devote as much time to it as you do. A lot of men are totally threatened if their wife is more successful in business than they are. Quite frankly, the hard work on your relationship with Donn is what will really pay-off in the end. When you are 85 sitting on your porch in your rocking chair- the close relationships you forge now are what will matter.... The money you have or don't have then, will only determine how expensive your rocking chair is... But, having someone there with you, as your friend, companion, confidant, lover, that is what will matter. It's time to delegate some of your responsibilities. I'll be right there with you trying to do the same thing...

Joyinlife, well said. I agree with you 100%

Vicky...You are the salt of the earth, and a wonderful Mom. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Maybe you and Don have run your course, and there isn't anything more left to the relationship...So just go with the flow honey, God already has his plans mapped out for you. :^)

Vicki, You are my favorite housewife on the show, however your insinuation that the director at Gershon Bachus was mexican, is a disrespect and embarrassment to my latino roots. That is like saying all whites are rednecks. You unfortunately put him in a very annoying predicament. This is why when you refer to a non white or african american, you regard them as latinos. Don't assume all latinos are mexican because the majority of the population in California is mexican. Choose your words wisely next time you're a very smart and focused business women. Ignorance should not be part of your focus. Thank you kindly.

Love you Vicki. I think You, Don and the kids could all use A.A. I bet if you guys sobered up, life would look very different and you would appreciate each other and what you have. It made a huge difference in my family.

I LOVED your shirt!!! Where DO you shop???

I understand you feeling badly about seeing what you've said about Jim & Slade on TV-but I will say that considering some of the things that Jim and Slade have done, I don't think they are innocent victims that you are mercilessly attacking.

As much as I love my man, I certainly think I could control those wild emotions Alexis was having at the dinner. What was most disturbing is that he refused to go and Alexis was well aware of that. She now staunchly defends his actions and approves of his decision. If all that's the case, why the emotional breakdown? That was quite a scene on TV-I can only imagine how it was in person.

And once again, some people can't respect other's plans or ideas for their own events. Much like your "Girls Trip" to FLA last season, this "couples" event that Peggy gave ended up being adjusted by Gretchen and Alexis-only after they had RSVP'ed as couples-which was clear since Peggy had to ask where their men were! And bringing their assistants? I thought that was kind of awkward and strange-especially during Alexis' sobbing!

As far as you and Donn, its certainly sad as a loyal viewer to watch the difficulties you've had. Clearly people have MANY opinions about your marriage-as do I. But those opinons are ostensibly formed by footage over the last few years-its impossible to really know another couple's relationship. All I hope for you both is that you each find happiness, peace and more success.

I do respect how hard you work (though I think most of your loyal viewers would like you to stop and smell the roses!)--and while the other ladies' and their men/husbands get all offended regularly by your comments about work...let's face it: Are any of them really working?? You were made to look bad for bringing that up, but its a legitimate question. They have decided to air parts of their lives on national television; they shouldn't be so defensive about their work, if they're truly so successful and happy!

I'm looking forward to the rest of this season and of course, the Reunion!!

I couldnt have said it better- except she is totally having an affair. Yes, she is. lol

YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION IN SOME WAYS. YOU SEEM TO BE A GREAT MOM AND HAVE CREATED A THRIVING BUSINESS. BUT MY QUESTION TO YOU IS WHAT ELSE IS THERE??? MY GRANDFATHER WORKED TILL THE DAY HE DIED AND AFTER HE WAS GONE ALL WE COULD SAY WAS THAT HE WAS A HARD WORKER. ITS TIME TO HIRE SOMEONE TO DO SOME OF THE WORK AND FOR YOU TO WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE. FACE THE MUSIC. HIDING BEHIND WORK ISNT GOING TO FIX THE PROBLEMS...

Another victory for Vicki over Alexis woo hooo!
That's a pay back from last season and it's a karma!

Since Slade is an ex-insurance fellow...why not offer him a job?? Let him see what real work is. lol

MonkiePants

You have a boyfriend named Brooks? Do tell...

vicky, first I want to say, I'm very happy you are back this season. I don't really know where you got the strength from to do it all again. Last season all the girls (that is how I refer to them, because women do not behave the way they do) attacked you. Even Tamara. I enjoyed watching the two of you mend your relationship. Girlfriends are important to have. I give you kuddo's for working on a marriage that has appeared to be doomed for awhile. But you gave it your all. And that takes alot. You are an amazing mother. A little over protective at times but really what Mother isn't.
I'm sorry about how your personal life was put out there by Alexis for the whole HW world to see. That just goes to show how immature she really is. Keep your head up. Keep working your tail off. And most of all be who you are. There is nothing fake in you and you are strong. The (girls) can't handle it because you are who they would love to be.

Dear Vicki, you do treat Don, your husband really bad. your not happy. It shows. why don't you just leave him so he can be happy, or make someone else happy. you have changed alot. you need to get therpy. for you and your children, and your husband. yes you work hard, so do alot of us women. i have owned my own business my whole life. But you take things to another level when you involve other people. and talk down to others. lots of luck

Whatever!! You are full of it, you and Tamara deserve each other

I do believe manly man likes dependable woman so that he wants to help or support the person. But if the woman become indipendent, it will be problem for the man. I think that is the case of Dunn. Not just your personality everyone talks about.

Vickie, love you. You defiantely are my fave. You are an inspiration to women everywhere. You are a terrific role model for women young and old, rich or poor, any and all walks of life. Youve worked hard, and it shows. Cracks me up how the other ladies were putting you down last year about working and how they took offense. I did not understand it. You do work. It is clearly a priority of yours and it shows. The negative comments they make when you dont attend a lunch or brunch. Uneffen believable. I get you Vickie, so do many women and men. Sorry to hear about you and Donn. Wishing you both the best in life and love. God Bless.

Vickie I too am a very successful female insurance professional. For the last 18yrs of my marriage I've been the main bread winner. Sometimes my husband drinks a little too much, when he thinks everyone knows he dosen't make as much as me. The men who love us also feel a little threaten and it shows when they drink. As I watched the show, I knew the moment he said that it was really wrong, not good, he didn't even apologize. Drinking changes them. Keep going strong don't stop. I've been a fan since day one. Thanks for letting me know I wasn't the only one.

Hello,
You and Donn do have a different kind of marriage but that is your business. I do agree you are a good mother, but just a little overprotective, which is good and bad at the same time. I have learned if you trust them then they will do good. As for not having a filter on camera, I'm not on camera and most people I know aren't on camera and they don't have flters specially if the booze is flowing. Just take your time before you speak and than maybe you won't feel bad later on.

Hi Vicki,
I love you, You are a great mom, and think you are a kind, hard working, wonderful lady! You work so very hard, and are a wonderful friend! I can also see how you really try to take the high road this season and stay away from the drama! I get you Vicki!
You are, and always have been my favorite. You and Tamra! I knew you would love Eddie, as there is not much not to like about the smart, hunk lol.
Keep up the good work! See you next week!

I love you Vicki, you are a wonderful and sensitive woman, who works hard and is a motivator for me. After the last show, I now see some of what has hurt you in your past, and it makes a lot of things more clear. I can also see that you and Donn are just not in the same place anymore and there is nothing worse than knowing that and feeling that, but not doing anything to change it. So I am happy that there was a little more insight into your past and that you explained a little more in your blog this week, thank you.
I admire your hard work, and I admire what a great mother you are to your kids.
Keep your chin up and everything will be all right.
Terri in Seattle

Donn was so funny in the car when he was mimicking Alexis not being able to eat asparagus without her husband. I died laughing.
I wish you two could have worked things out. Regardless, wishing you both happiness.

TAMRA DOES NOT BRING OUT YOUR GOOD SIDE.
JUST CONSIDER THAT.
YOU MAY BE SINGLE AND HAVE THE NOTION OF LIVING HER LIFE...BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOOD FOR ONE ANOTHER ACTUALLY.
TAMRA CAN BE QUITE MEAN AND HAS SAID ONE/TWO THINGS THIS SEASON THAT MADE MY JAW DROP.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT IN A FRIENDSHIP? YES, SHE CAN BE FUNNY/WITTY....
BUT, THERE ARE OFTEN SOME TRULY CRUEL MOMENTS YOU TWO SHARE.
JUST TRY TO BE INSIGHTFUL...YOU'RE 2 ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND IN MY OPINION, IT'S NOT A GOOD MIX.

hi vicki first of i am sorry about you and donn he seemed funny but sometimes people arent ment to be. i was suprised to see you talk about people at the dinner party the way you did and you blamed tamra last year for her husbands actions so if you feel hat way why didnt you tell donn to stop laughing about gratchen saying slade was with his boys . also you said some mean things about alexis,jim,and others that night do you regret any of that? also have you ever really et jim and got to know him, i dont think so you just judged him others

Vicki--
Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for being real. Your struggles with family, work, parenting...we can all relate. I would rather watch your real approach to life than all the fake drama that seems to surround Alexis and Gretchen. You are an inspiration.

Vicki,

I love watching your show, I love the epoisodes of you your always smiling and ready to go somewhere fun. I love that your a hard worker but can always enjoy some downtime as well. I wish that sometime I could meet you in person. I love what you do for your employees your always willing to help them better thereselves as well as yourself. Wanting to come to california some day. You have the life I've always wanted and don't know how to get it.

Love you,

Lynn Walker

Always been on of my fav's! Always love to hear your opinions and am sooo glad you are the voice of reason among these spoiled, mean and lazy women! Good for you Vicky! Work hard and make $ the old fashion way. While you are on the beach sipping Mai TAi's during your retirement these other ladies looks will have faded by then and then what are they gonna do? Sorry about you and Don, but its too bad you come out looking like the bad guy. Sometimes, no matter how much love is there a relationship can still fall apart. Who are we to judge? Keep being your fabulous self! xxoox

Vicki,

You are still my favorite! I was horrified and embarrassed for you when Donn called you that. If you have to have to have one flaw then he is it! There is no excuse for his behavior at all. He did not stand up for you at the dinner party last season and to display such blatent disrespect for you...I don't know what else to say.

Wow Vicki! U expected more from you :(

Valley Butterfly.... Why encourage people to become single parents?

And to everyone else who comments about the woman being dependent upon her husband. She can be independent, she depends on her husband because he IS her husband! In a relationship you should be able to depend on one another. Why would Alexis want to live on her own? She loves her husband, she has time for her family. She ENJOYS to be around her husband and misses him when she is not.

Why do you care what Gretchen and AlexIs did or did not do? As the professional business woman you proclaim to be, I expected you to be above the drama instead of helping to make it. Totally classless and not at all what I would expect in the personality of my insurance person.

this was from you blog a few weeks ago and then this week you're trashing slade and gretchen again please explain....

'I know how hard it is for Slade to have had such financial struggles since he moved from Coto, also all the health issues they have had with his son, Grayson. I have seen a softer side of Slade this year (as I am sure he has of me as well), and we have mended any fences that were built between us. I was quick to judge Slade in years past, but over this past year I have taken the time to really get to know him and I like what I see. He loves Gretchen and seems to really assist her with all areas of their lives. It is something I was missing in my own marriage, having a true partner in all areas."

It is nice that you appear to be more humble this season. It would be ever better to see you opening your heart more and ease your critical nature.

Vicki,

It's been clear to me since season one that Donn hurt you very early in your relationship by not adopting your children when they were younger. Back then I could also tell that he was capable of cutting you very deeply verbally and that he seems to have a bit of a cruel streak in him when he's drinking. Of course, people don't always see this as he's quite passive/aggressive at times, which makes you look like the bad guy, which I don't believe you are. I think his behavior led you to somewhat shut down emotionally and throw yourself into building a thriving business as a distraction from your troubled homelife.

This is not to say that Donn is a bad person, just that he may not have always been a good husband. You get a lot of flack for neglecting him in favor of work, but that's understandable if my suspicions of his earliest behavior in your marriage is true. You held onto a marriage that was rocky almost from the start and your work has been your lifesaver; your survival mechanism. Again, I hope I'm wrong, but I've been watching since season one and the pieces are still adding up. Your latest revelations about an earlier separation and decision not to have children seem to fit my suspicions perfectly. If I'm wrong, I apologize.

I really am sorry that you and Donn didn't make it. I know that you tried your best or at least the best that you knew how at the time. Maybe it's not completely over for you and Donn. Maybe counseling can help? (On a sidenote, watch out for Jeanna. It's also been clear to me since season one that she'd love to play house with Donn.)

As for the other ladies, it's clear that you're trying to soar above the madness. Every now and then, however, you allow yourself to get sucked into the drama. You're a big girl, so I'm not going to blame your friendship with Tamra, but I will say that I see you trying and I look forward to you someday getting it right. You really are an inspiration to working women everywhere and I wish you all of the best, Vicki.

You were absolutely correct something else was going on between A & J. She shouldnt have come. It wasnt right. With this tough economy it was tough to see Alexis ruin a very expensive dinner party that catered by a well known chef. Where were her social graces?
She gets mad at Tamera for a silly joke at her spa party. But has the audacity to sit in the bathroom all night. Why not just call it a night? Im glad you guys laughed it off and didnt let her ruin Peggy and Micha's amazing dinner party.Alexis was behaving like a child. It seemed she was in a bad mood and wanted her bad mood to rub off on everyone else.It's good no one indulged her. Youre right she had a fight with Jim. He tries to control her. In my opinion it's a form of emotional abuse.That's why she waits on him hand and foot. Maybe you could be a good influence on Alexis. (jim would love that) encourage her to make it on her own. Be a good role model so she can monetarily support her own kids. Nothing feels better than to have to depend on a man for support. Especially ones who so controlling. He was even controlling her at the party. He had her in tears. He got what he wanted. He's very manipulative. What does that man do for a living? Somethings not right.

Alexis states in her blog that her husband had lunch with your boyfriend Brooks, and my question to you is who is Brooks and will we be seeing him in any episodes?

Vicki
I think you're fabulous and I'm in love with your husband. You both seem to feed off of each other's dry wit. Let the other women swim in the drama, and keep your chin up. I hope the best for you both.

Hi Vicky,
Hope all is well. I wanted to tell you Don was being really funny on the road home from Peggy's party. He made me crack up.His impersonation of this particular person was to a tea.Spot on. BTW, Gretchen needs to dump Slade. She could do so much better!!!

I am sorry for comment I made earlier this season about you and Donn. We saw a side of him that has not been seen on tv. He did have a very sharp tounge towards you at dinner. He also was making fun of some of the guests at the dinner party which was not the Donn we are used to seeing portrayed on the show. I'm sure alcohol had a little to do with his behavior, but that is still no excuse. He should never call you names. He is suppose to love you. My husband calls me names when we are in a heated discussion and it really makes me upset- this is someone who says they love you, but then can call you names. I forgive, but never forget. Anyway, We only see a snippet of what your life is with
Donn and I know you have done what you think is best with your career and family. I just hate to see you have to go through divorce. I wish you could have worked it out.

Vicki
I think you are inspiring and often misunderstood. I have the same problem because I say it like it is all too often. You put your kids first, make time for friends, and have handled some of the problems in your marriage as privately as you can! I admire your work ethic, I am the exact same way-nothing in life is free...I am 26 year old women working fulltime and finishing my degree this very week! I appreciate everything I have because even though I have GREAT parents I BOUGHT IT!!! I look forward to being out of debt in the future, and consider you inspiring!
I find it really way too bad that even though you said nice things on your blog about how you misjudged Slade(btw most people do NOT like saying they were wrong about someone) you see the best in him now (few weeks back!) SHAME on Gretchen for hating you! It was Don that made the comment and you were not impressed by his humor towards others. As for the powder thing-hilarious-Alexis needs to wake up!
TEAM VICKI FOREVER!!!

Vicki,

As a 25 year old college student, I must say you are extremely INSPIRATIONAL! I love your work ethic, and how you are not afraid to go out there and earn your money. It's truly refreshing.

Vicky,

You should really think twice about your friendship with Tamra. Clearly, she brings you into ALL of the drama, which I might add that she starts a good portion of it all. It absolutely makes you look bad! You are so much better than that! Good luck!

Vicki I just adore you! I loved you every season, I'm not even offended by what you say, because I know you're not mean -spirited. I'm so heartbroken about you and Donn - I love him! Can I have him now? ; )

Sorry, can't stand your best friend on the show. Believe me, If I were you, I'd keep an eye in back of my head with that one. I still think she'd turn on a dime on you.

Much love to you!

Drop Tamra. She is bad news and she is no ones friend. People like you but not with her around.

Vicki, it's seems like you want to change to become a less gossipy woman so you'll need to ditch Tamra because she's a troublemaker and thrives on the misfortune of others.

Vicki I have always liked you from day one, however I wish that you and Don can work your relationship out. The renewal of your vows made me cry and be happy for your all at once. You two seem like a great couple and what I like to tell people all the time is to remember why you got married. It is for better or for worse and it is alot of give and take. I believe you two could work this out with a littel counseling and some give or take on you part as well as Don's. I wish and hope for the best for the two of you and may God bless your marriage.

Vicki, I love you & I have been watching since season 1. My heart goes out to you in this difficult time. It has been hard to watch this season & see you & Donn growing apart & your marriage slowly dissolving. I am sure it is heart-wrenching for you. Sending you wishes of peace, comfort & happiness! I am so glad to see you & Tamra together. I am so happy to see you guys get your friendship back on track. You two together crack me up! I think Peggy is a great addition & look forward to seeing more of the 3 of you together.

Love you, Vicki! You call it like you see it, and always have. I know you're getting tired of people commenting on your marriage. But I am hoping that there is going to be a surprise twist at the end of the season, and it is going to be that you and Donn are staying together!

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