Watching this week's episode with Donn and I on our spa day and date night made me very sad. It reminded me of where we were last summer as a couple, and makes me wonder how our marriage got so off course and so distant. I referenced a lot in my interview both this week and last week how my work seemed to be a priority over my family and Donn, however that was the farthest from the truth. My family is, was, and continues to be my first priority, but I found myself spending more time with my work than any place else because it made me happy to be there. Quite frankly, the reality is Donn and I just were not happy being with each other. I use the correlation of a healthy relationship with that of a car with four tires. As we all know, it takes all four tires for a car to go anywhere, and if there is a flat tire, it is sedentary and cannot move. This is the same with any relationship. I feel it takes, emotional, physical, and spiritual commitment to have a successful relationship. When one or all of those things are missing, the car (your relationship) becomes sedentary or non-working. I am sure most of you can correlate this in your own lives, and I challenge you to do whatever it takes to put the air back in your tire before your relationship is too far gone and non-repairable.
Later on through these next episodes, you will see how we both struggle on keeping our commitment to our marriage, and keep in mind there are a lot of missing components that you will not see as we chose not to film it. The most important thing I want you to realize, is that it takes two people to fall in love, and takes two people to fall out. It is never just one or the other, and I will not be held 100% responsible as some of you are doing. I will own my piece and my share, but I won't own all of it. Keep in mind, you are only seeing a very small portion of our life and not the entire relationship.
Moving on to Slade and Gretchen, I felt really sorry for Slade this week. Seeing Gretchen calling him "tubba wubba" had to be hurtful for him. Gretchen is extremely skinny and not everyone has the ability to be skinny nor is that the most important thing to them. Although I'd love to be a size zero or two, I'm not. I've come to own it and love me for who I am and I think that's where Slade is. There is much more to a person than what number is on the scale, however I think the pressures of Orange County and our TV show makes it feel like it's unacceptable to be ten to fifteen pounds over what the "skinny" people weigh. I know it was hurtful to him, and I think he looks great in person and the only person he has to answer to about that is himself.
I know how hard it is for Slade to have had such financial struggles since he moved from Coto, also all the health issues they have had with his son, Grayson. I have seen a softer side of Slade this year (as I am sure he has of me as well), and we have mended any fences that were built between us. I was quick to judge Slade in years past, but over this past year I have taken the time to really get to know him and I like what I see. He loves Gretchen and seems to really assist her with all areas of their lives. It is something I was missing in my own marriage, having a true partner in all areas.
It was nice seeing Alexis' house on this week's episode as I have actually never been to her home before. Wow, is it beautiful! For the young age of 32 (ish), she really is living a nice life in such a beautiful home. I wonder if she appreciates the work load and stress that would entail if she actually had to pay for that on her own. I look at how hard Donn and I both have to work full time just to be able to afford our home with all the overhead and expenses in addition to other living expenses. Jim must really be successful in order to financially afford everything they have. I still don't know what he does for a living –- Do you?