It Takes Two
Vicki explains what went wrong in her relationship with Donn.
Watching this week's episode with Donn and I on our spa day and date night made me very sad. It reminded me of where we were last summer as a couple, and makes me wonder how our marriage got so off course and so distant. I referenced a lot in my interview both this week and last week how my work seemed to be a priority over my family and Donn, however that was the farthest from the truth. My family is, was, and continues to be my first priority, but I found myself spending more time with my work than any place else because it made me happy to be there. Quite frankly, the reality is Donn and I just were not happy being with each other. I use the correlation of a healthy relationship with that of a car with four tires. As we all know, it takes all four tires for a car to go anywhere, and if there is a flat tire, it is sedentary and cannot move. This is the same with any relationship. I feel it takes, emotional, physical, and spiritual commitment to have a successful relationship. When one or all of those things are missing, the car (your relationship) becomes sedentary or non-working. I am sure most of you can correlate this in your own lives, and I challenge you to do whatever it takes to put the air back in your tire before your relationship is too far gone and non-repairable.
Later on through these next episodes, you will see how we both struggle on keeping our commitment to our marriage, and keep in mind there are a lot of missing components that you will not see as we chose not to film it. The most important thing I want you to realize, is that it takes two people to fall in love, and takes two people to fall out. It is never just one or the other, and I will not be held 100% responsible as some of you are doing. I will own my piece and my share, but I won't own all of it. Keep in mind, you are only seeing a very small portion of our life and not the entire relationship.
Moving on to Slade and Gretchen, I felt really sorry for Slade this week. Seeing Gretchen calling him "tubba wubba" had to be hurtful for him. Gretchen is extremely skinny and not everyone has the ability to be skinny nor is that the most important thing to them. Although I'd love to be a size zero or two, I'm not. I've come to own it and love me for who I am and I think that's where Slade is. There is much more to a person than what number is on the scale, however I think the pressures of Orange County and our TV show makes it feel like it's unacceptable to be ten to fifteen pounds over what the "skinny" people weigh. I know it was hurtful to him, and I think he looks great in person and the only person he has to answer to about that is himself.
I know how hard it is for Slade to have had such financial struggles since he moved from Coto, also all the health issues they have had with his son, Grayson. I have seen a softer side of Slade this year (as I am sure he has of me as well), and we have mended any fences that were built between us. I was quick to judge Slade in years past, but over this past year I have taken the time to really get to know him and I like what I see. He loves Gretchen and seems to really assist her with all areas of their lives. It is something I was missing in my own marriage, having a true partner in all areas.
It was nice seeing Alexis' house on this week's episode as I have actually never been to her home before. Wow, is it beautiful! For the young age of 32 (ish), she really is living a nice life in such a beautiful home. I wonder if she appreciates the work load and stress that would entail if she actually had to pay for that on her own. I look at how hard Donn and I both have to work full time just to be able to afford our home with all the overhead and expenses in addition to other living expenses. Jim must really be successful in order to financially afford everything they have. I still don't know what he does for a living –- Do you?
When Alexis was talking to Tamra about getting a loan modification, I thought I'd clarify it for those of you who don't know. It's a way for people to be able to stay in their home without the risk of foreclosure or short selling and to make it more affordable. A loan mod basically negotiates directly with the bank to lower the payment and/or interest rate to reflect a payment that is allows the homeowner to be able to stay in the house. The banks typically do not lower the loan balance, just the payment. A short sale is when you sell the home typically for what the home is worth, and requires you to move out of the property. There are a lot of loan modifications being done in Orange County due to the home values declining as well as income levels decreasing, and if that doesn't work, they are short selling.
Many of you have been asking me about my eyelashes this season and how they got so long. I recently became the VP of Product and Development of a company called Puresuasion. One of the products that I can't live without is Cilea eyelash growth stimulator. For those of you that have been paying $120 or more for Latisse, this is a great alternative and is amazing. It is all natural, has an eyeliner applicator, and is half the price. It does not require a prescription and is so easy to use. Everyone thinks I have false eyelashes on, which I don't. If you'd like to order some for yourself, go to www.cilealash.com. We have a sixty day money back guarantee, which is amazing. If you want long eyelashes without having to obtain a prescription, I would highly recommend getting this.
Well that's all for now. I wish all of you an amazing week. I am back in Richmond, VA this weekend wrapping up the filming of another show I am doing on the Style Network called Messiest Home of America. It should air in two months, and I encourage you to watch it. It's about a lady who is a single mother of three children, who has been living in home that is filled with garbage for over fifteen years. It will be very moving to say the least. I took her out job hunting and am encouraging her to make a life for herself after her husband left her fifteen years ago. I'm also going to encourage her to read my book that I will be leaving behind for her to read called More than a Housewife. My book will hopefully be a tool for her to find her true passion in life and to find her purpose which we all need.
Lastly, for those of you who are uninsured for life insurance, I highly recommend visiting my website for a free quote at www.cotoinsurance.com. If you already have a life insurance policy, let's see if we can shop all the major companies to see if we can save you money on your existing policy. Rates have actually gone down in the past five years.
Thanks for all your encouraging emails and for watching our show. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode and look forward to next week!