Cast Blog: #RHOC

Above the Fire Line

Episode 10: Bravotv.com's Editor discusses the ladies glamping trip and Gretchen's vocal issues.

Hello Glampers!

I hope you've packed your bed rolls, screw top wine, and emergency breast implant ice packs, because the wilderness is a dangerous place -- filled with skunks and people who doubt your financial claims. Let's recap the Orange County ladies attempt at camping!

Let Me Get My Microscope
Before we get into the woods, we have to confront the new species that is Tamra, sans a few cup sizes. And Vicki is not into it. Not only are they small, she's never going to have sensation in her nipples again (according to Vicki). Well now we firmly know where Vicki stands on the boobs or butt debate (boobs).

Besides just ragging on Tamra's smaller chest, Vicki fills her in on the bowling party disaster -– and on her budding friendship with Alexis. Tamra is having a hard time grasping how these two can be pals, and we'll have to see if she's right. . . There's a lot of water under that there bridge.

Eddie doesn't seem to mind the sizes, but perhaps that's just because Tamra kept the old ones on hand just in case. That's right folks. Did you know that breast implants also make delightful ice packs? The more you know! So until he can test drive the newest merchandise, he must suffice on these faux fun bags, and these two kids will just have to sit around recovering and not lifting heavy things together.

Troop Orange County
Next we see Alexis packing marshmallows and graham crackers for the camping trip. It was Mrs. Bellino's idea to send the gang into the wilderness (for that we thank her), but her doctor believes she needs a helping hand. So she decides to bring Shannon, as a friend/hair and makeup lady/nurse. Also in tow are Vicki and Briana and Heather sans hair dryer. The ladies immediately begin getting into the natural swing of things on the ride over, when Alexis breaks into dance.

Unfortunately, that seems to be a bit too active for her, and she must finish her moves and ice her face. Dancing is the most dangerous game people. Never forget.

Cat's Got Her Throat
Gretchen, meanwhile, is texting Slade drink orders because she's still on vocal rest. She's packed her bags for glamping, but Slade thinks to prevent forest fires more damage to her voice by staying home. So, despite her desire to smooth things over with Alexis, she decides to glamp another day.

Once she's feeling rested, she meets with the coach who will teach her "Fever" for the big performance. It's obvious that Gretchen's in pain when she's trying to sing, which is really rough to watch. Did anyone else just want to give her a lozenge and tell her to rest? In the car, G just breaks down. Her voice is stressful enough, and then Gretchen gets all swirled up, pondering the fight with Vicki and Slade's stand up and how everything led to the current situation. It's a big spiral, but here's hoping Gretchen can focus on what she can do at this point to get her through the performance (leaving us on pins on to see what happens next week).

Into the Woods
Once the ladies finally arrive at the lodge, they immediately begin to push the boundaries of "glam." What is too much to ask for on a glamping trip? Heather wants to ensure she has a full king bed (best for sharing with bears). Do they really have to cook their meals with their own hands over an open flame? Is this store actually stocked with unfamiliar wines, while the cabins aren't even stocked with wine bottles openers.

Also I must discuss Alexis' poem, and more importantly Vicki's attempt to make good of it -- flubert? Flumble? These should all be real words. I flumbert my words constantly. That's how language is born. In 20 years our children will be saying flumbert and they'll have Vicki Gunvalson to thank for it. Know this.

As the ladies scrounge for appropriate wine glasses (the lodge doesn't stock red and white glasses, how crude!), and communes with the natural wildlife (bugs down Alexis' shirt), things get real rustic. This land without sherpas (since Heather isn't one) and decent cell phone service is harsh. At least they managed to reach a consensus at least not to burn the plastic while starting a fire and to not alert Papa John's to their lack of wilderness savvy. And soon enough, a different kind of delivery arrived – a skunk! Thankfully, like most things, the skunk was afraid of Vicki and moved on. Smart move young animal.

Speaking of Vicki, it was lovely to see her feeling the kumbaya by the fire and saying she's changed her perspective. The idea of her apologizing to Gretchen (and being friends with Alexis) is a giant step, even if she's only taking a portion of the blame. Kudos 50 percent. Oh who am I kidding? Kudos, 100 percent. Negotiate your apology all you want.

It's also interesting to see the parallels between Vicki and Brook's relationship and Briana and Ryan's courtship. It seems both of them are keeping their closest gent close to the vest.

Next week Alexis struggles with her acting career while Gretchen and the gang heads to Vegas for the big performance. Until then, what was your favorite part of glamping? The bug that now lives in Alexis' bra? The skunk who feared Vicki? The face-wrinkling pillows? Leave it in the comments.

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Lizzie: Tamra Doesn't Fight Fair

Lizzie thinks Tamra's comments about her children were meant to deflect from her own problems.

Happy Labor Day!!! I am going to make this blog short and sweet. It’s a holiday and I am going to be spending the day with family in Newport wearing a Sun Kitten and a smile. I hope you all are having a great holiday weekend.

To be honest, the second half of the Reunion was hard to watch. I think it got too ugly. I am not going to insult any of your intelligence in explaining this episode. We all know that misery loves company, and "projection" is as easy to spot as a $2 dollar bill. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that everything miserable that comes out of Tamra's mouth is a direct reflection of what is going on in her life. In my opinion, children are off limits. It's quite apparent that Tamra does not fight fair and when all else fails she will throw your kids, marriage, and even your body under the bus in an attempt to hurt you. We filmed the reunion for over 10 hours and after listening to so much ugliness my heart just couldn't take it anymore.

I do not regret telling Shannon all the things that Tamra said about her. Everything I shared with Shannon was something that happened and was said on camera. I didn't take anything and create unnecessary drama. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I would think my friends would do the same for me. I simply did not know the truth about Tamra. Danielle told me all the things Tamra said about me. That is why after my birthday I was so hurt by her. It's hard for viewers to understand because these things weren't in the show. She could have called me and said she wasn't coming. I called her after sitting on the bus for over an hour. The next day she made fun of me to Danielle, in addition to asking plenty of questions looking for negative details regarding my party.

On that one-year free membership to Cut Fitness: Let's delve into this shall we? I was the one that contacted Tamra days after my party. She did not contact me to give me present. I had invited Tamra, Eddie, Danielle, Joe, Heather, and Terry to the Kentucky Derby and Tamra was the only person that had not sent in the RSVP. It was past the deadline and it was getting borderline rude at this point. Tamra, in fact, was making fun of the Kentucky Derby and the charity event that would be hosting us to Danielle. So, I reached out to Tamra regarding the Kentucky Derby and she texted me back saying, "I want to give you a free membership to CUT for your birthday." Tamra knows I am already a member to a sports club and that was the last I heard of this "free membership." I never received any kind of certificate or card for membership. I suppose she thought I would have the gall to show up and say, "I got a text message from Tamra for a free membership!" It's almost laughable. Needless to say, I don't go to her gym and she didn't attend the Kentucky Derby with me.

There is nothing else to say regarding the Shag, Marry, Kill game that I haven't already discussed in great length in any of my previous blogs. I said the word "marry" and that's that. Tamra even glared at me on the way out of the Valentine's Party and repeated it. "Marry you?" Tamra has said multiple times she couldn't even remember because she drank too much and there are even text messages where she says it too. Her story changes continually, like the words that come out both sides of her mouth.

During the Reunion, Tamra said many more hurtful things that you didn't see. She went on to talk about my son Preston and my marriage. We all remember the episode in the park where Preston hit me on the head with his elephant. He was asleep in the car and he had a mini temper tantrum. He was three -- it happens. I would assume most mothers have had it happen at some point. In addition, my husband and I got in a fight on my birthday. I feel awful about it, yet it made us closer. I just wanted what every woman wants -- to feel special because of her man. I am a big time believer in learning from your mistakes and that won't ever happen again. However none of those incidents had anything to do with Tamra. But on her quest to hurt everyone, she managed to drag in some irrelevant topics. I know it's all to deflect from what's going on in her life and to make someone else look bad. . .but it does hurt nonetheless. My babies and my marriage are my life so I guess her goal was to attack the things closest to my heart because she can't fight fair.

I hope you enjoyed this season and I hope you had a fabulous summer!!! The fall is my absolute favorite time of year, so I say bring on football and cooler weather.

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