Alexis Bellino

Alexis explains how she keeps her marriage working with Jim and questions Tamra's doubts about Brooks.

on Apr 11, 20120

However, with my career where it is currently, that is simply impossible. I happened to change my role mid-marriage and Jim jumped on board immediately. I am very thankful for this. I wasn't quick to turn over what I considered MY responsibilities inside the home, yet I knew I had to because I simply couldn't do it all. I view marriage as a constantly changing, ever-evolving relationship. In ten years, neither Jim or I will be exactly the same persons we are today. I believe the minute the marriage becomes stagnant is when the marriage ends, because that means one participant is not moving or changing with the other. With that in mind, I know Jim and I agree that our commitment to each other is that we will evolve together rather than drift apart. One of the rules we live by is that if one of us begins to drift too far, or push too hard, we are sure to voice our opinion that this is occurring. Jim knows that I am a perfectionist, so I tend to go 110 percent where I need to be only giving 20 percent of my time. I ask him his advice frequently because he is the one person that truly knows me and he is my best friend. I love that man and I value his advice! He has always truly been 100 percent supportive of my career and 100 percent honest with me. I would not have married him otherwise.

Moving on to Tamra's surgery. I am happy for Tamra and think she looks absolutely great! How sweet of Gretchen to show up at the hospital to visit her. That's what friends do.

159 comments
jenai
jenai

Alexis is a grown woman.  Whether Jim likes it or not, it's her life and her decision.  Jim needs to trust  Alexis' judgement.  Jim needs to know his place, he is her husband, not her father.  He can't tell her what to do no more than she can tell him what to do.  Alexis should have told Jim, "I will pray.  But I will make the decision that I think is best." At the end of the day, Alexis doesn't need Jim to approve her choices, but he does need to be supportive and respectful.  If Jim can't do that, then Alexis needs to re-evaluate her marriage.  GOD bless.

jenai
jenai

I was surprised at how Alexis didn't say anything in regards to Jim's sexist comments in regards to her clothes line and Fox 5 job.  If I were her, well.....I would have said a mouthful!!!!  "My children"?  I would have responded, "And who am I? The nanny? The surrogate? There as much my children as they are yours."  Jim has had it easy, Alexis stayed home and took care of the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing.  Now, that has changed and Jim isn't happy.  She wanted to do something for herself.  She wanted to give herself an outlet.  Jim should be proud of his wife and how she's able to balance the career, the family, and the home.  Sometimes a husband needs to help out and give the wife a break.  I am almost positive that Jesus didn't die on the cross for women to be bossed around and to waste the gifts He has given us.  Jim seems to be intimidated by Alexis' success.  Alexis should have said this to Jim, "My career is important to me, so, you're gonna have to deal with it."  GOD bless!

anonymuse123
anonymuse123

You are my favorite on the show! I noticed that all of the other ladies always try to pick on you, but I think it's because you're the prettiest and most "real" one. Real as in, you are yourself. You admit to your nose job, and admit to when you wear your fake jewelry...whereas they are all in denial, and pretend to be something they're not. Keep being you and don't worry about the jealous ones. They have nothing better to do than to focus on you and your life.

Loha
Loha

Ive never commented here before but I feel the need to. Alexis you are a lot stronger than you think. Please don't let Jim dictate your life and your "role" just because he feels threatened by independent women. You can still be a good christian and love your family AND work outside the home. It is 2012. Jim 's beliefs are chauvanistic and disturbing. He thinks that you should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. This is not what women are made for. Women can work and be a good parent, Ive seen it many times. The fact that Jim is NOT being supportive of your career goals and desire to work shows that he does not want you to grow and evolve into a financially independent working woman. Please know that you should do what you want with your life and not let a man hold you down. Right now he is holding you back from fulfilling your goals. You can be a good Christian woman AND still work. It is "OUR" children not "my" children as Jim said. Both people should help each other out in a marriage and allow each other to grow. "Don't let the hand you hold, hold you down"

Saucy
Saucy

In regards to a few comments that said Vicki did not call you trailer trash, I don't remember the exact wording she used, but she has never had anything nice to say about you or your husband. (or any of the other ladies if truth be known). BUT I think your are doing the right thing to try and get along with her. But just know how close she and Tamra were before, and you know Vicki agreed with Tamra. I would like to see you and Tamra get along also. I think all of you are basically nice people (including Vicki) but Vicki is a needy person whether it is her friends or her spouse or partner. Everything has to be about her. With that said just make your own decisions and don't let Vicki influence you. Gretchen by the way has been a true friend to you. Lighten up on her. I also want to see you and Heather have a better relationship. By the way, your nose looks great.

TanyaFrmNJ
TanyaFrmNJ

Alexis, for once I have to agree with you. IF a friend is dating someone; less he/she is a criminal, stay out of it. A friend will MAJORITY of the times pick their significant other. I did not have anything against a man who I thought my best friend of 20+ years was dating. All I would ask is why cant her and I go out without him. Well sure enough, she is still with him a year later while I lost a friend. Also, when you say negative things, it will always come back bc if a couple argues then makes up, guess what? The friend is going to be remembered for the bad things he/she said about the friend's partner.

OWUTracey
OWUTracey

Alexis, I think it needs to be said that one of the reasons I'm liking you more and more is because you don't put trash talk on your interview pieces as much as the others. I like less "let's talk bad about her" attitude and more "let's make this fun" attitude. Last nights show was great. It's funny that you ladies had to drink screw top wine and out of white wine glasses. It's funny that you used your phone more times than everyone combined used the bathroom (and that's after drinking lots of wine). It's funny that no one knew how to start the fire but Heather. It's funny that everyone GOT ALONG!!!! Your scarf gesture was great and it made me wish I was your glamping nurse friend ~ Keep on being real Alexis!

Lisa Valencia
Lisa Valencia

Alexis what was the location of the camping place, Loved it. Can you please send me the website I would really appreciate it !! thanks :)

blm
blm

everybody is saying it best.you are the one with class.you are so much more.confident kind sweet and funny.o and i would say you are the smart one.just keep smiling girl.everything is falling in place.team alexis all the way to heaven.when you get to heaven the lord will be so proud.bravo please print for alexis thank you

katcart
katcart

Alexis, Your opening we see every week this season is disturbing, as are your constant competitive comments when talking with the other women - consistently trying to "trump" everyone else no matter what the subject. Christianity involves "WORSHIP," but I'm 100% certain that means worshiping God, NOT YOURSELF. If you are supposed to represent a Christian woman, I'm not so sure I want to be one. All you're doing for Christian women is giving them a bad name. I think a tremendous amount of Bible study is in order or you should find another "platform" to jump off of.

paigemichelle
paigemichelle

Alexis, u just keep amazing me how u continually take the high road with Heather and Tamara. They just cant keep talking about u...just take it as a compliment! Do not feed into their petty jealously, u are coming off as the better person and they just look like 40 something year old jr. high school mean girls (such "stupid" behavior). Listen to what im getting ready to say...at the reunion show do not respond to them, let them dig their own graves. Anyone who continually bashes someone about their intelligence, are literally the scum of the earth. And i am glad that Vicki is slowly getting away from Tamara, she was so much more likeable until Tamara came on the show and every since then she has lost so many fans, lost her family, became someone im sure she is not proud of. But i think she is starting to see Tamara's true colors. its too bad Gretchen is going down that road but she will have to figure that out on her own also! So just keep on doing what ur doing, its making u look so much like the better person and trust me u are! Stay strong about the things that make u happy, u are accomplishing good things right now and i would love to watch u continually grow...i know u respect Jim but stand up for the things u want in life because u will regret it if u dont, im sure he will come around! God bless u and ur beautiful family!!!

EnoughisenoughLady
EnoughisenoughLady

Alexis, you and your husband are living under God's wishes. His words are:

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-25, 28-31, 33 KJV)"

Good for you, let the haters hate. You have class, mean juvenile Hearher doesn't. Don't worry about her, she can't touch you.

Kelly Mitchell
Kelly Mitchell

Alexis - you are a CORESPONDENT, NOT a NEWS ANCHOR. The NEWS ANCHORS sit at that table and DELIVER THE NEWS. Also, your T.V. career is going to be very short lived, if your husband gets his way. I know what I am talking about - I lost my husband when I became a radio personality, and he lacks the self confidence to handle a successful, strong woman, which you are well on your way to becoming. You still have some growing to do, but I must say, that this is the first season that I feel there is more to you than being a bubble headed bleached blonde, and I mean that as a compliment. Jim should be grateful, but I'm afraid you are about to see a very nasty side of your husband in the near future.

Amanda619
Amanda619

You are the PRETTIEST housewife of all the shows and because of that you will always be a target. Like water off a ducks back, let it roll off. Don't let your husband control you!

TinaJax
TinaJax

There are many out here proud of you for staying kind towards others. It is refreshing that you don't have venom-ready comeback to the other ladies. They might have a quick draw but isn't it more wise to have a slow answer than a quick comeback. That has got to be in Proverbs!

Gina White
Gina White

You must be doing something right! They all cannot stop talking about you. You are the most attractive and that is a threat to other women. You also NEVER say anything mean about anyone else in front of them or behind their backs. Sorry, Heather, but Alexis is the one with the most class.

Shonda Tate
Shonda Tate

Alexis you are a strong Christian woman and a much needed influence. America needs more women like you on TV to look up to. Your marriage is strong and a great example to the rest of us. You stay beautiful and go after your dreams and you're still a great mom. Anyone who thinks that isn't enough or that you have somehow fallen short is crazy.

Mary87
Mary87

Tamara and Heather are just jealous of you. Don't listen to them.

RMR
RMR

Jim needs to read Ephesians 5:25. Enough said.

kimberly16
kimberly16

I think you are a delight! I love the way you LOVE your family and I hate that everyone is being mean to you!! Keep your chin up!!

piperoni
piperoni

to the other person that wrote a blog.vicki did not call alexis trailer trash last season.that is what some call tamra.vicki called alexis classless trash season 5. 2 years ago.she did say she was sorry.alexis is are fav.so happy for you on your G.H.cameo.heather is name calling you alot.she can be scary.she reminds me of the mommie dearest type.go you kind hearted girl.god bless bravo print for lex please.

ConscientiousObjector
ConscientiousObjector

I love all the women on here bashing your husband. I'm sorry ladies but... I think you guys are part of the reason why marriages fail. Marriage is a compromise and a sacrifice. But the family unit, the security and the connection you provide for your family is immeasurable. Countless times I have referred to my children as just that - MY CHILDREN. My husband does the same thing, particularly when he is making a point. But for you women to bag on Jim for that - to bag on Christianity - is there anything in your lives thats important to you that doesn't involve money or fame? Leave Alexis alone and let her live her life, making her choices. I certainly hope she doesn't let this fleeting fame distract her from what's really important like Tamra did.

dani7882
dani7882

Alexis, Do does your highlights? You hair is so pretty.

AlaneR
AlaneR

I adore Alexis and Jim. She is a straight shooter and working very hard at all her endeavors. Jim is obviously supportive or Alexis wouldn't be on the show...period!!! I know Alexis will come out on top because she has more class and depth and compassion in her than any of the other people on this show. Keep on keepin' on girl. You have what it takes to do anything you set your mind to!!!!

Lisalu327
Lisalu327

Alexis, It is great to see you grow this season. I am glad that you are finding that working outside of your home is fulfilling to you and makes you happy. It saddened me to see Jim's response to that. He kept saying "we need to give up Fox 5", yet he said so that you could raise "his" children. Were is the "our" when it comes to your family? Alexis, You are too good for Jim. He does not appreciate all your gifts and talents, only the ones that benefit him. I know you are a Christian and value your marriage, just be true to who you are, and understand that your happiness is important, too. My husband and I have a Christian marriage as well. He is in the military, I am a nurse. I worked outside of our home for the first 6 years of our marriage, but after the miracle of having our much desired daughter, I decided to stay home, as I don't want to miss a minute of her upbringing (I had her at 40). I take care of the traditional chores, but my husband will change a diaper if I am busy, wash dishes, if I am tired. He takes care of me as much as I take care of him. I know he works hard during the day, and I appreciate how well he cares for me, our family, and our country. I appreciate it even more knowing that at any time he will be called to serve and have to be away from our family for several months. I think we have a pretty well balanced family dynamic. I hope your family can achieve the balance that you need.

blm
blm

that is true alexis.be kind to unkind people they need it the most.heather seems like a bitter older woman.she just wares the pants in her marriage and does not think men should be = i bet there marriage is not all perfect.just watch it will someday come out on the show.i luved when you are at the table making smores in next weeks show. and you also offer to share your blow dryer.you are so nice.you are the bigger person.we can be kind as christians but do not let heather talk down to you.kick her to the curb.do not trust her or tamra.you are woman and we here you.you are confident to stand alone on the oc.in the long run it will be much better than being stabbed in the back.tamra or heather could not stand alone they are to weak.you are the strongest.heather is the most judgemental housewive i have ever seen on the oc.god bless you.print for alexis please bravo

S'weet Mercy
S'weet Mercy

Alexis, I found the full 7:00 video of your Fox 5 interview. You actually did let the guests speak and did not interrupt as was shown on Tuesday night. It is really disappointing to see the editing of this video. It will make me question everything I see on the Housewives’ shows going forward.

I felt terribly bad for you as you struggled for a second to take your coat off and Jim glared at you. To top it off, the way he threw your coat behind and away from you was disrespectful.

I do not think doing this show is worth the money unless you had control of what was run.

hulali
hulali

Why did you make such a fuss about Gretchen not visiting you at the hospital when you told her not to come? The comment in you blog about "friends visiting other friends in the hospital" was a passive agressive dig at Gretchen.

Please grow up!! Its obvious that you are jealous of Gretchen being friends with Tamra and the possibly of loosing out on camera time with her. Becoming BFFs with Vicky is not going to get you anywhere. Are you forgetting that she called you trailer trash last year? Vicky can only be friends with people that she can control. Do you really want another controlling person in your life? Seems to me that Jim should be more than enough!

hulali
hulali

Heather said the other houseswives MIGHT NOT be the kind to appreciate caviar and champagne. And maybe she has a point. We all saw how you gagged and drooled when you tasted foie gras so I really don't think I can imagine you eating salty little fish eggs either.

JaciR
JaciR

". I am happy for Tamra and think she looks absolutely great! How sweet of Gretchen to show up at the hospital to visit her. That's what friends do." Passive aggressive isn't a good look for you.

hulali
hulali

You really need to watch past episodes and evaluate how you choose to present yourself. There is nothing wrong with admitting you don't know something. When you try to engage in a conversation that is clearly over your head you appear ditzy and stupid. It's better to remain quiet when people are speaking about things you don't understand and give the illusion that you know whats going on than open your mouth and remove all doubt. You constantly have to "one up" the other housewives (just like Peggy claimed) and its annoying to watch.

And yes... please remember to chew with you mouth closed.

Tsk tsk
Tsk tsk

Alexis, don't listen to the haters.

You don't have to want for yourself what the viewers think you should. Anyone who has been watching RHOC since you first came into the picture knows that you find pleasure in being the caretaker inside your home while Jim is the caretaker outside of it.

What viewers don't really get Is that when Jim asked you to marry him, he found in you the qualities he was looking for in a women to become HIS wife. Not every man's wife. Different strokes for different folks, and clearly you both found in each other what you were looking for at the time you committed to a life together. Yes, many women wouldn't like Jim, just like many men wouldn't like you. You fell in love with each other, so forget what others think regarding how your marriage should work. No one has the same taste, values, goals and principles. They vary from person to person, so don't let anyone label your marriage or your husband (as well as yourself).

Jim is not perfect, but he has taken great care of you as his wife, and you have taken great care of him as your husband. So what he said "my children"? You never said "my kids" before? We all have! Viewers are stuck on that because of Tamra's blog, people allow themselves to get manipulated by her vicious words very easily.

Be careful, reevaluate what's important and what will remain for the long haul. Family should come first, and you're now getting distracted. Your husband may have a point, you need to say no at some point. He never once asked you to stop everything, and he has supported your work as long as it doesn't interfere with your duties as a mom and wife. You said yourself you were looking forward to your dress line because you could work from home, and you said yourself that Jim gave you the money to launch your line. YES, he is supportive, but he's also smart enough to keep you focused when you so easily get distracted and want to embrace more than you can handle.

Easy. You've said once that motherhood and marriage are your main "careers", so if you sidetrack too much, your husband is 100% right in pulling you back to YOUR realities (meaning you BOTH, not you alone).

Stay strong and continue to make your decisions together, forget the haters who can't keep their marriages together but feel entitled to advise you on how to live your life. Love you and your family, stay together and strong.

St. Louis Viewer
St. Louis Viewer

Alexis, I think you are a sweet person but you really don't come off as very focused. 1. Gretchen and Tamara making up and becoming "friends" is a gift to God. They are being "Christian" and DOING what Christians are supposed to do. How can you keep preaching how Christian you are and not be able to see this? 2. Gretchen tried to come visit you in the hospital, Jim TOLD her NOT to come so she came later when he would let her. Why did Jim tell her not to come see you? Is that what you wanted? Or was that what Jim wanted? TRUE friends are not judged by if they come to the hospital or not. What a ridiculous thought. True friends are judged by how much they love you. 3. You don't know what 100% support is. We see him NOT being supportive. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but for God's sake Alexis! He is living in another time. You told the cameras that you agreed with his backward, chauvanistic behavior. Fine. Why aren't you doing as he says then? Quit your jobs and sit at home with HIS kids and take care of HIS family. Which one is it Alexis? The minute you get a little fame from all this you start jumping in front of the camera whenever you can and you start back tracking on everything you said. Last season you said a woman's place was at home. Now that you actually have some more attention you seem to believe differently.

You come off as extremely competitive and immature. Quit worrying about the way you look so much and try to understand your life choices better.

Stand for something and really mean it.

New-to-Texas
New-to-Texas

Alexis, good job ignoring the BS. (i.e Tamra and Heather).

EmilyATallahasseeFL
EmilyATallahasseeFL

You are also the only one that knows if your marriage works for you or not! I may not agree with everything that Jim says, but I can see that your marriage and kids are his priority, so in my eyes that makes him a good man and nobody can knock him for that.

Is This Thing On
Is This Thing On

Alexis, please know that I am saying this with the kindest voice possible: you appear to be a truly lovely, devoted, loving, caring, respectful and thoughtful wife - it's such a shame that you are with a man who does not return that respect and care to you. I know you think he is the 'best husband' but unless Bravo is pure genius with editing? He scares me. Peace to you and your children as you come into your own. Don't be afraid to expect in return what you give.

Mary87
Mary87

I guess Tamara, Vicki and now Heather are really jealous of you because they are always putting you down.

WANDADENISEMATHIS
WANDADENISEMATHIS

I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with being a mother and a wife and wanting a career, if you wanna play superwomen that cool with me. But me myself thinks that if i can help bring income into the house than he can help with the housework. But each household is different whatever makes it work than thats fine by me. So Lexi everyone giving their opionon about your dinner and Jim making the comment about you working girl you do whatever that makes u and your hubby happy. I can't stand when people act like they got all the answers.....

love bravo
love bravo

Alexis - I love your new home. Beautiful, warm and friendly and is my favorite of all the OC housewives homes! All the best to you, Jim and your family and may you continue to do the things that you love and fullfill you. Great job on Fox News - that is not easy to be on live TV, look great and keep the conversation flowing with good information, good vibes and fun!

Redsassypants
Redsassypants

Dear Sweet Alexis- I think your a doll and these women are confusing the fact that sometimes you get flustered when you speak with stupidity. You are far from stupid and that shows in your blog where you clearly articulate yourself. I think these mean girls just get you a bit tongue sometimes. However, I really admire that when push comes to shove you have always had backbone and stood up for things you believe or are unjust. You have a good Christian heart and your the only girl on the show that I would want to be friends with.

Blessings! Susan

KimmyMarie
KimmyMarie

I love you Alexis but I don't think Jim treats you very well. You remind me so much of Tamra when she first joined the show. She was always defending Simon and only her friends and we, the viewers could actually see the harm he was doing. I see nothing wrong with a traditional marriage but there is NEVER an excuse for a man to demean you by telling you to raise HIS children (HIS children? The ones HE was in labor with? He needs to get serious, they are both of your children, not just his). I don't like the way he talks to you! I feel like he uses religion as a way to excuse his behavior. A good Christian man will never look down on a woman like that. I know he has great qualities too but I wish you would stick up for yourself more. I see my mother talked down upon by my father and it kills me, she defends him ALL the time and sometimes the things he says to/about her are just awful. I know all couples fight, it would be normal not to, but there are just certain levels of respect you should have in a marriage, you know?

Elizabeth in NO
Elizabeth in NO

Trust me on this: It is ridiculous for you to think that Peggy was devastated when her and Jim "broke up." I was always under the impression they really didn't date that long and Peggy obviously moved on very quickly. She definitely hit the jackpot with her husband. Trust me - no woman in her right mind would be devasted over losing Jim. Peggy is counting her blessings every night.

OMG - I would rather date/marry Slade instead of Jim.

MellsBells2
MellsBells2

I feel so bad for you! You were obviously so excited about your new job at Fox 5 & your dress line but your husband was so not supportive! I pray he will realize you are partners in marriage & in life, not a Stepford Wife created to raise "his" children & do his bidding. Best wishes to you!

Patticaykes
Patticaykes

Alexis, Tell Jim that its 2012 not 1812. God bless you and your family.

Scribby
Scribby

I feel you signed up for this show because you were bored with your "marital agreements" now a few doors have opened up and you look like you are about to leap through one and never look back.

Rosalie Marie
Rosalie Marie

I must admit, I am very impressed with Alexis this season. She's not giving into the drama, first brought on by Peggy, than Tamra, and now the never ending digs from Heather. What Is Heather's Problem? I think Heather is desperate to be a permanant cast member and is sticking close to Tamra and Vicki, believing they are the golden ticket to job stability. Week after week, Heather constantly insults Alexis and Alexis is nowhere in sight. Alexis has not taken personal digs at Heather. Okay, Alexis said Heather was pretentious, but that was on the private interview box so Heather didn't know about that until the show aired. Other than that, Heather has consistently taken digs at Alexis Christianity, her career, her marriage, and labeled Alexis as dumb, stupid, airhead, etc. Yet, YET, Alexis achieves far more than Heather. Alexis has a job with a popular news network, and Alexis will be appearing as a guest on General Hospital and Alexis has her own business designing her own dresses, and Alexis is a spokeswoman/actress selling products in commercials. What Does The Intelligent Heather Do Nowadays? Heather, It's obvious you resent Alexis and want to achieve the same as Alexis. If you want it Heather, all you have to do is stop latching on your husband's coattail and go to work. Alexis, I wish you nothing but happiness and sunshine. Don't let the women get you down.

Viewerdee
Viewerdee

are you kidding me!!!! he said you need to take care of my children...first of all they are there children!!! and said when they got married they became one flesh why is that flesh his and not a combo of the two together thats what i think it means....what an ass his wife finally has a life and is contributing to the house hold and what doesnt like it cause he needs to be in control!!!! i say put him in his place or more on girl!

Shod
Shod

Don't listen to the critics. Anyone who has tried to deliver information to a camera knows how hard it is.

Would it be fair to say that Jim was thrown a curve ball and is having a hard time coping, but just isn't articulating it well? Is it also possible that he was raised to believe that a working wife emasculates her husband? This is going to sound cruel, but he needs to cut the macho bull---- and just say how he feels. Being the maintenance parent is harder than it looks, and EVERYONE needs a break from it. It seems that all you're asking for is Fridays, and if he can't do his part, then he's just proving that he is asking you to take ALL the responsibility for the hardest job in the world, which does NOT make him the head of the household. It proves that you're more of a leader than he is, so lead this discussion (and be as loud as you want). He's not dumb. He'll see that you're right.

No matter what, the more anyone holds you down, the higher you should fly.

Amy from Tahoe
Amy from Tahoe

One journalism class in college does not make you a journalist. You have a lot of work to do Alexis.