Alexis Bellino

Alexis shares her take on the "intervention" and ponders how friendships change.

on Jun 14, 2012

The episode before all this happened in Costa Rica where I invite Tamra to lunch should have been foreshadowing. Call me naïve, but I didn't see it coming. Maybe it's because I can honestly say that if the tables were turned, I would never wait until someone was on vacation to come at them, and even more than that, I would never agree to do a group attack that was premeditated. It sent chills up my spine when she says in Heather's room, "We'll just kill the b---h." I couldn't even watch some of the episodes because I would get so upset with some of the things coming out of Tamra and Heather's mouths.

My lunch with Tamra didn't have a surprising outcome, but I feel again like the level of nastiness is unwarranted and doesn't make anything better. If you are willing to put yourself on the line and take a risk because you know a relationship is on life support or just needs some shaping up, that means you're taking the reins of your life and holding yourself responsible for the relationships YOU have created. There are a lot of positive, wonderful things that can come from redefining relationships, but there is always that chance that the person you are in a relationship with is not going to see things the same way you do. Part of the risk you're taking is getting hurt, or having other people say things that you didn't expect, or of having things work out in a way that you perceive as negative. But I think it's safe to say I’m not the only one who saw how this lunch worked out as a negative. I get it: you don’t like me, and that's fine. But most adults would agree that for the sake of a shared group of friends, learning to be courteous and civil is not asking too much of either party. It’s not just our responsibility to our shared circle of friends -- how you behave publicly toward individuals you may or may not like sends a message to your children. To me, it's about responsible parenting and being a responsible mutual friend.