Needless to say, my heart sank when Jim walked out. Jim's intention for coming to the party was not to talk to Terry about him calling me phony, and Jim was actually confused when Terry asked him to go talk. Obviously I wished I kept my mouth shut, but there is a lot that you don't see, so just know that it I thought, the sooner they talk, the sooner it will be over, and we can all move on. This is one time I wish Jim would not have listened to me (and you'll never hear me say that one again!) They really should have talked man-to-man, alone, and without the interference from any wives, friends, or a party! I don't blame Jim for walking out, I would have done the same thing had I been ambushed the way he was. What is so interesting to me, after watching the finale, is every single time you see Terry or Heather, they say something mean or under-handed about Jim or myself, yet in front of us, it's all hugs and kisses, and "so glad you could make it." Yet, I'm the phony one.
I'm so sad for where things stand with Gretchen right now, and I would have thought the sun turned to ice before she and I were in this place. I don't think Gretchen chose Tamra over me, but I do think Gretchen and I would still be friends if she and Tamra were not. There were so many instances that occurred throughout the season where Gretchen did not act as a true friend to me. I don't think anything that happened between Gretchen and I was malicious, or that it was all even conscious, but none of that takes away from the fact that how she has treated me over this past season has been hurtful, wrong, and not the way true friends treat one another.
The truth of the matter is that there are so many things that have occurred over the past year that I never talked about. Like the fact that Gretchen listened to other people telling her not to be friends with me (yes, Heather knows about this one, Tamra too.) There are so many facts I never stated, things I never talked about. . .because I don't LIKE confrontation, I don't like hurting other people. I believe in being honest, straightforward and truthful, without calling out every single little nit-picky thing. I love my friends unconditionally, with shortcomings, weaknesses, and quirkinesses included. I have been there for Gretchen for two and a half years, while the other ladies attacked her. I have supported her and attended every single new endeavor she has had for the past two and a half years. I have defended Gretchen and Slade relentlessly around town and in the media. I brought Gretchen soup and flowers in bed when she was so devastated by the things Tamra had done to her a year and a half ago. One year ago, Jim offered to donate a substantial amount to Slade's son, Grayson; as well as donating many of our hotel rooms to their charity. This is just what friends do.
But for some reason it was all soon forgotten when I made a comment to Gretchen about owning my Bentley for three months? It just doesn't make sense. Gretchen has never told me one time in two and a half years that I said things that bothered her. . .but the minute she and Tamra and Heather are friends, now all the sudden I say things that bother her? Gretchen thinks I was doubting our friendship the minute she became friends with Tamra, but I thought she could be friends with both of us. If you are true friends, you don't need to pick a lane. . .you can be friends with both. I didn't realize the down-turn our friendship took until the painting party episode aired, which was long after she and Tamra had become friends. Even amidst all of the negativity and ick of this season, I will always wish Gretchen well, and I will always be here for her should the other girls turn on her.