Pick a Lane
Alexis explains what she was hoping to achieve at Heather's party.
Whew that was a long season! And an interesting one at that! This has been a rough one for me, but rest assured, it will not get me down for long! I may have struggled over crazy emotions, confused friendships, and overworking. . .but I love my life and am so thankful for everything that has happened this year! I've had a week to sit back and relax, which I MADE myself do... and I feel refreshed, energetic and ready to take on the world again! I have learned so much about myself this season -- some good, some not-so-good. When I really contemplate what is important in my life I realize it's all in check, so everything else will fall as it may, and my life is still pretty darn fabulous!!! Thank You God!
I think Heather's party was beautiful. She did a phenomenal job, and it was truly breathtaking to walk out to the back yard of white leather furniture. Every detail was carefully thought out, from the cake with the edible diamonds, all the way to the toast of giving away a real diamond. Yet with all these material things. . .I'm the pretentious one.
As long as we are on the topic of Heather's party, there is one important message I must make clear. I would never invite someone to someone else's party. Sarah told me she was already on the guest list, so when she asked to ride with me, I said yes. Just to be crystal clear, Sarah was ALREADY going to Heather's party, with or without me, so when she wanted to ride with me, of course I said yes. I was also very aware of the bowling party incident with Sarah, and I wanted to be sure to avoid a recurrence of that situation, which is why I lectured Sarah about not drinking too much and even encouraged to switch to water.
I have known Sarah for many years, and the bowling party incident was so shocking to me because I had personally never witnessed that side of Sarah before, so I was going to try to avoid it from occurring again. I also know Sarah was/is going through a difficult time with her break-up, and I'm not about to turn my back on a friend just because she is going through a rough patch. I will not kick my friend while she is down. I would rather try to help her through it.
This does not mean I condone what Sarah did to Heather's cake. I was appalled that she touched the cake! It is absolutely unacceptable, and I told Sarah that. My only goal once I discovered that Sarah ate the bow was to put the fire out immediately because Heather had spent all this time and money on an exquisite evening, and it didn't need to be ruined by Sarah's behavior. In my opinion, Heather should have pulled Sarah aside (not Tamra and Vicki) and told Sarah that her behavior was unacceptable, and that she needed to excuse herself from the party. End of story. I don't agree with what Sarah did, but the reaction to her bad behavior was as badly planned as the action that caused it.
I was so happy when Jim surprised me! It's never fun to be away from him. Yet, I respect his choices just as he respects mine. I don't want him to be somewhere that he truly doesn't want to be. Later, when I asked him why he decided to come, he said because after all I had been through with this group of women, he wanted to surprise me and remind me what life is really about. That coupled with the fact that Terry had sent him a text saying come to the party, Jim thought that Terry meant a night of no confrontation (YES, Terry invited Jim personally to the party. . .Jim did not crash it). If you watch the scene, Jim asked Terry to a man-to-man lunch. But Terry was pressuring Jim so much to talk that night (because he knew Heather and Tamra were there to have his back.)
Needless to say, my heart sank when Jim walked out. Jim's intention for coming to the party was not to talk to Terry about him calling me phony, and Jim was actually confused when Terry asked him to go talk. Obviously I wished I kept my mouth shut, but there is a lot that you don't see, so just know that it I thought, the sooner they talk, the sooner it will be over, and we can all move on. This is one time I wish Jim would not have listened to me (and you'll never hear me say that one again!) They really should have talked man-to-man, alone, and without the interference from any wives, friends, or a party! I don't blame Jim for walking out, I would have done the same thing had I been ambushed the way he was. What is so interesting to me, after watching the finale, is every single time you see Terry or Heather, they say something mean or under-handed about Jim or myself, yet in front of us, it's all hugs and kisses, and "so glad you could make it." Yet, I'm the phony one.
I'm so sad for where things stand with Gretchen right now, and I would have thought the sun turned to ice before she and I were in this place. I don't think Gretchen chose Tamra over me, but I do think Gretchen and I would still be friends if she and Tamra were not. There were so many instances that occurred throughout the season where Gretchen did not act as a true friend to me. I don't think anything that happened between Gretchen and I was malicious, or that it was all even conscious, but none of that takes away from the fact that how she has treated me over this past season has been hurtful, wrong, and not the way true friends treat one another.
The truth of the matter is that there are so many things that have occurred over the past year that I never talked about. Like the fact that Gretchen listened to other people telling her not to be friends with me (yes, Heather knows about this one, Tamra too.) There are so many facts I never stated, things I never talked about. . .because I don't LIKE confrontation, I don't like hurting other people. I believe in being honest, straightforward and truthful, without calling out every single little nit-picky thing. I love my friends unconditionally, with shortcomings, weaknesses, and quirkinesses included. I have been there for Gretchen for two and a half years, while the other ladies attacked her. I have supported her and attended every single new endeavor she has had for the past two and a half years. I have defended Gretchen and Slade relentlessly around town and in the media. I brought Gretchen soup and flowers in bed when she was so devastated by the things Tamra had done to her a year and a half ago. One year ago, Jim offered to donate a substantial amount to Slade's son, Grayson; as well as donating many of our hotel rooms to their charity. This is just what friends do.
But for some reason it was all soon forgotten when I made a comment to Gretchen about owning my Bentley for three months? It just doesn't make sense. Gretchen has never told me one time in two and a half years that I said things that bothered her. . .but the minute she and Tamra and Heather are friends, now all the sudden I say things that bother her? Gretchen thinks I was doubting our friendship the minute she became friends with Tamra, but I thought she could be friends with both of us. If you are true friends, you don't need to pick a lane. . .you can be friends with both. I didn't realize the down-turn our friendship took until the painting party episode aired, which was long after she and Tamra had become friends. Even amidst all of the negativity and ick of this season, I will always wish Gretchen well, and I will always be here for her should the other girls turn on her.
On to Vicki. . .I have truly gotten to see a side of Vicki this season that I really like. She has had a rough year with Briana being sick, the divorce, and the beating Brooks has taken. However, I think she is lighter, happier, and in love. I understand that there are many concerns about Brooks, but everyone has expressed their concerns to her, and now it's time to let Vicki figure it out for herself. Jim and I have gotten to know Brooks fairly well over the past few months, and the times we have been around them together, they have been a normal, happy, in love couple.
So with that said, liking or not liking Brooks is not something that any of us need to be inserting into our conversations with Vicki anymore, unless she asks for our opinions. True friends are there through the successes and the failures, through differences and similarities. No matter how things work out, I know Vicki is a smart cookie, and what’s more important is that right now, in this moment, she is happy. And so I choose to celebrate that!
And I choose to celebrate my successes, rather than dwell on the downfalls that my eyes have been opened to this season. The greatest of which is our first indoor trampoline park, Sky Zone Anaheim, finally being open for three weeks now! It's the most fun running a business the whole family can enjoy! Only problem is I can't keep my kids away from there! Be sure to like us on "Sky Zone Anaheim" to find out about all the fun and exciting events we have coming up. Alexis by Tal Sheyn had it's first run on HauteLook.com this month, with many more to come. We are also doing New York Fashion week as well as LA Fashion Week again this year! Alexis Couture is now in many boutiques throughout O.C.!
None of this would have been possible without all of you supporting and loving me along the way. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I could never have done it this year without all of your kind words and advice. Although the season is almost wrapped, I love talking with each of you, and I will still be chatting away so be sure to stay in touch on Twitter and Facebook!
So have a great July 4th weekend, and with lots of sunshine in mind. My tip of the week from CosmetiCare.com, is this: Be sure to apply sunscreen daily to your neck and chest as well as your face. Several of you ask about my skin regimen, and that is one important tip to remember! Don't neglect your neck, it can turn old faster than your face!! XOXO