Gretchen goes into the nitty gritty of her fight with Vicki.
Whoa! This was quite the episode! Such an emotional roller coaster ride! Obviously a lot comes to a head in this episode, so please forgive me in advance if my blog is long. As I said in my last blog, this was the night that completely changed the dynamic of the group.
First of all, I want to say thank you to all the fans for the amazing and consistent support these last few years. I appreciate how sophisticated and intelligent the audience is when it comes to the truth. I believe I made some pretty valid, concise, and factual statements this episode, but I will recap some of them here.
As most of you know this fight between Vicki and me has been three years in the making. Obviously I am beyond upset in this episode, and I apologize for so many bad words being used. I hate seeing myself get pushed to that place. Many of you have messaged me that you understand why, that I had every reason to be so upset, and that I should have done this a long time ago with some of these women. I appreciate that, but I still am disappointed that I allowed her to get me to that point.
Vicki started it all a few years back by claiming Slade was a deadbeat dad for the same exact reason her own boyfriend actually went to jail. . .for falling behind on child support. Please take notice that Slade has never gone to jail for this issue, which proves that Slade has always made some sort of payment. You don't go to jail unless you just completely stop paying and don't care. I will once again state the facts and the truth here:
Slade has always paid something; unfortunately after he hit hard financial times (once his son got sick and the economy went to hell) he could no longer make the same large payments based off a much higher salary.
Slade went to court and filed a modification three years ago. Unfortunately the media likes to perpetuate lies, and obviously so do some of my cast members. Gratefully after three years of fighting with his ex in court, the court granted his modification just a few weeks ago to match his current income.
Slade is working very hard to catch up on any back debt that is outstanding based on the arrears being adjusted from the modification. Moreso he refuses to allow me to help him with it -- something I greatly respect him for. And just for the record Slade does have a job, even though these women want to continue to say he doesn't. Slade does NOT work for me and never has! He has simply helped me with my businesses as any good partner would! Goes again to prove they have no clue as to what they are talking about.
Ironic thing is Vicki literally says in this episode "everyone falls behind sometimes"? Well if that is the case then why would she automatically claim that Slade is a deadbeat father but that didn’t apply to her boyfriend?
Bottom line Vicki's rules apply to everyone but herself. She is what you call a hypocrite. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't her own daughter call her out on this (on the way to surgery) "Nothing is ever about anyone else but my mom." Who I am as a person is inclined to feel sorry for Vicki and whatever she is going through at that time, however a person can only cry wolf so many times before you no longer believe them or feel sorry for them. I have noticed that whenever Vicki is going through a hard time we are all supposed to stop and feel sorry for her, but low and behold if anyone else is dealing with a sick child (Slade) or a sick fiancé (me) or something difficult, it doesn’t seem to matter to her or what she says about them.
This fight starts because Vicki says "you think it’s funny to make fun of someone?" I was like is she kidding me? Slade made the very valid point that Vicki made fun of Jim by calling him a "smelly troll" and called Alexis "white trash."
Then she says it's not the same thing to call someone ugly versus calling someone a deadbeat dad! She is absolutely right! It's not the same thing. Slade stating that the news references that she looks like Miss Piggy at a comedy club meant for comedy is completely different then claiming Slade does not care for his child and is a bad father on a international television show meant to bully, attack and challenge his character as a parent. Once again it's OK for her to make statements about other's looks or character but when someone dishes it back to her, she says "how dare them"? That's BULL HONKEY if you ask me!
Isn’t the saying 'do onto others as you would like them to do unto you?' Well honey that statement just came true for you! I also found it hilarious when Vicki was so upset about the 300 people at the Improv that Slade made a joke about Vicki too. I literally wanted to scream "Really!!! What about the 380 million viewers worldwide that you said something to about Slade and his character as a father?" Sometimes I just wonder where this woman gets off saying these kinds of things.
The underlying part of this fight was her claiming we had no clue what it is like to have a sick child. She was claiming this because of what she was currently dealing with Briana. What is it with these women that they think just because I haven't popped out a kid between my own two legs, I have no clue what it is like to be concerned about a child? Last time I checked Slade's son has been sick for close to seven years now, and I have now had to embrace that fight with him for the last three. For her to say "I have no clue what it is like to have a sick child" made me crazy and almost want to jump across the table at her!!! Yes Slade's youngest son, who is terminally ill, is not my biological child, but by any means that does not make it less painful, sad, or hard for me. I mean is she saying that all parents who adopt a child or are step parents have no clue what it is like to have a child and love them as much as she does? That is just ludicrous and makes her sound unintelligible and selfish. I could go on and on about the crazy that unfolded here, but I think I summed it up pretty clearly in my interview when I said, "You cannot expect to talk so much crap, bully someone for years and years, make up lies on an international platform about someone, and then be surprised when they say enough is enough and fight back, life does not work like that!"
A lot of you have been asking why I am not as mad at Tamra as I am at Vicki, because of what Tamra said last season (and especially at the reunion) about Slade. Well here is the main difference between the two of them. Tamra certainly knows how to dish it out, but she can take it too. You didn’t hear her crying and saying "How dare Slade?" because she knew she has dished it out to him as well. She knew last season after the reunion that she had swung some pretty hard punches, and she even said she was sorry she went there and that she shouldn’t have been talking about things she knew nothing about at our first lunch together this season.
So the difference to me is Tamra has grown as a person. She has seen where she contributed to the situation and owns it, and does not make excuses for it. I value that, and that is part of the reason I have been able to move on with her.
Now this brings us into the next saga of the night: Alexis and her nose surgery.
Tamra and I were talking about her going into surgery on Monday for her breast reduction (the bunko party was on Saturday night) that's when I said "oh that's funny Lex is going into surgery on Monday too." Then Tamra said for what? I said for her sinuses, and Tamra said you mean for a nose job, and I said, "Well I think she is also getting the bump taken off, but she is going in for her sinuses." Tamra then came to her own conclusions that Alexis was not being 100 percent honest and wasn't owning that she was getting a nose job as well.
As you saw, I kept confirming with Tamra differently. This is when all hell broke loose. I could not believe the fight that ensued. It was crazy! I mean for goodness sake's were we really fighting about a nose job? How ridiculous was that? To me Alexis became very insecure and defensive. However I didn't think it was appropriate for Tamra to say her nose was big (therefore I kicked her under the table signaling that she needed to back down).
Now remember I just had the most emotional and crazy fight with Vicki, and I certainly did not want to get into any more fights that night, so I allowed Alexis, Tamra, Heather, and Terry to fight it out (and for the record Terry did not know we were discussing Alexis' sinuses) I already communicated to Tamra several times that it wasn't just a nose job, so I know I defended Alexis. Then Alexis stepped in and was handling herself just fine, at that point it was her fight to fight not mine.
Unfortunately, this is the night the dynamic between Alexis and I changed. I was very hurt by her actions towards me. She started accusing me of not having her back. I tried to tell her 80 times that I told Tamra she was having her sinuses done, even as Tamra keep saying you're lying, but Alexis just did not want to believe it. I couldn't understand why.
After she continued to berate me about this in the limo, I realized this was not about me at all because not only did I defend her with Tamra but I also have never given her a reason to believe differently up to this point. Peggy was the friend who gave her reason to doubt if she had her back, not me. I felt like just because I had now become friends with Tamra, Alexis automatically thought I had turned on her, like Alexis believed Peggy did when she became friends with Tamra. That was hurtful. My friendship with Tamra had nothing to do with my friendship with Alexis, and I would never allow Tamra to influence my feelings towards Alexis. Alexis' own actions towards me are what changed my feelings.
What I find most ironic about Alexis being so upset with me is that she sat there completely silent while I was in a fight with Vicki. Why is it that I had to get in the middle of her fight with Tamra but she could sit silent in my fight with Vicki? I know for a fact that Alexis thought Vicki was being hypocritical because we had talked about it several times, so why wasn't she standing up to Vicki and having my back? I actually stood up for Alexis to Tamra! Alexis also says this episode that she has always had my back when it came to Tamra. I must be missing something here. I never felt like when she would say "Tamra has good points and you have good points" that she was really having my back. That was more of staying neutral and not getting involved. So when I decide to try Alexis' method this time and stay neutral I'm all of a sudden not having her back? I felt like I couldn’t win here.
Here’s what I know for sure. If a friend asked me to not tell anyone about their surgery or whatever else they wanted to keep between me and them then I would never go back on that. I would always have their back and keep whatever they wanted private, private. That's what friends do. Just because we are on TV doesn’t mean we have to share things we would rather keep private. However that was not the situation here, Alexis chose to have her operation filmed for the world to see and she has only talked about wanting to have a nose job in the past with us girls and on screen. It sucks that she is being scrutinized for her reasons now, however in all fairness to everyone questioning her she has never talked about her sinuses, even to me, until a few months before the surgery.Obviously it was very sad to see Vicki having to take her daughter into surgery not knowing what the outcome was going to be. That is the worst feeling in the world that I do not wish that upon anyone. Slade has had to see his young child go into open brain surgery 11 different times. It is not a good feeling wondering if they are going to wake up better or worse.
I empathize with what Vicki was going through with her daughter even though I don’t have any children of my own, because no matter whom it is, if it is someone you love it is scary and painful. I was in the room with the doctor when Jeff was diagnosed with cancer, I was his full time caretaker administering meds, take care of his pick line, and sitting by his hospital bed on a daily basis for nine months, and I had him die in my arms. NO ONE can tell me I have no idea what it is like.
Thanks again for all the love and support. I just love hearing from you all.
Till next week!