How Much You Can Take
Gretchen defends her right to have an opinion and discusses Slade (and her) breaking point.
Sorry it took so long to write this blog but I have been in Miami this past week filming for a new project! It was my first acting debut, so I have to admit it was nerve-racking but so much fun and I can't wait to tell you guys about the fun project once it is announced.
Now to this week's episode: Lots going through my mind! It is so difficult to have already lived through these moments and then have to re-live them every week. It stirs up so much emotion, hurt, frustrations, and, at times, pain. It is always so interesting to me to hear all the different points of view from the woman. It helps me see it from their point of view, and it also allows me to re-evaluate how and if I could have done things differently. I always want to be growing and evolving in my life and that is why I am always over- analyzing everything.
I enjoy reading your responses here, on Facebook, and Twitter, and most of them are positive, however I really want to address one thing in particular that seems to be a common theme I hear or read from the viewers. "Why is there always so much crap talking and gossiping?" Maybe the viewers (and possibly some 'Wives) don't realize this -- but this show is popular and you guys watch it because each of us has such strong opinions! If we all sat around, acted phony, and kissed each other's butts we wouldn't have a hit TV show. When you sign up for a show like this you are expected to have opinions and state how you feel about something openly and authentically, even though sometimes it is very hard.
Now all of us woman have our own ways of communicating those thoughts, whether it is in a mean, comedic, straight-forward, crazy, or non-authentic (aka phony) way. This is where I see the audience and their opinions come in. The common thread is interesting to me. Many of you write in, post blogs, and etc., that are just as opinioned as we are, yet you are judging us for being so? Isn't that what they call irony? Just food for thought while you are writing in every week. I take pride in trying not to be a judgmental person in my life, and I have always been told that is one of my best qualities. However please do not confuse judgment with opinion when you see me discussing others on this show. I cannot speak for all of us, but from my point of view that is something to help you understand me a little better. For example: I will and have never judged someone because their religion is different than mine, however if asked I will tell you why I believe my religion works for me and my life and why another person's religious beliefs do not work for me.
With that said the show starts out with Slade and I in the car talking about him wanting to pursue comedy. First and foremost let me be clear, I am and have always been a supportive, loyal, and encouraging partner to Slade when it comes to anything he wants to do. Anyone that knows Slade and I well or that we consider good and true friends would know that, and more so never question that. I have stuck by Slade for the last three years while he has been going through difficult times, and I have encouraged and been there for him in every venture he has wanted to do (even to the detriment of myself at times). I believe we all hit rough patches in life and we all need someone who believes in us, no matter what, and knows our potential even when it seems like the whole world is against us. Slade tells me almost every day that I have been that person for him. Slade is an amazing, intelligent, creative man who can do anything he puts his mind to. However I know my partner and sometimes he gets excited about something and then distracted from another thing. I want him to focus in on something that really makes him happy and pursue it with all his heart. Any good partner would encourage that. Sometimes I believe that is why God created partners, so they could help balance each other and keep the other encouraged and focused.
This leads me to the scene in my bedroom. First of all I never knew wearing a robe and my hair pinned up would create so many comments and questions. Thanks to everyone that says my hair would look great short! I have been considering that for a while now, but have been a little scared to do it, so this helped me want to take the plunge someday. Secondly the robe is by Betsy Johnson for everyone asking! This scene between Slade and I just cracks me up because it sincerely depicts are relationship to a T! Slade is always signing me up for things (that he knows will really help me in my career or push me to do something that I might have been too afraid to do) even before I agree to it. This again is similar to what I was talking about in the paragraph above. Having a partner that balances you, encourages you, and keeps you focused on things that can benefit you is great. I cannot wait for you guys to see this great opportunity with the Pussycat Dolls unfold this season! It was so exciting yet nerve-racking for me!
I actually was disappointed to see Heather tell Tamra about the comedy act, for no other reason than she said she wouldn't at the comedy club that night. I am a woman of my word and if I say I'm not going to do something I stick by that. I also don't feel that Heather disclosed the full picture to Tamra about that night. For the record, Slade completely made fun of himself. He addressed and made a joke about all the rumors about him not paying child support and that he is just leaching off of me. For goodness sakes, Slade had his mother come up on stage wearing a shirt that said "Don't be mean to my son. He is a douche" as a joke. Like I stated last week in my blog there was a lot of the comedy act that was not shown, but I can assure you that Slade was poking fun at almost everyone. Heather said he should of made fun of everyone across the board, however the show was entitled "Addressing Rumors." Therefore he included Jo, Laurie, me, Lynn, Tamra, Vicki and himself in his act. He addressed all the things that have been talked about him with those people. He did not include Alexis because she has never made up a rumor, talked about Slade, or been in a relationship with him, and obviously he didn't include Heather in his act because he didn't even know her at this point.
For the record, Slade is a wonderful dad who adores his children and would go to the depths of the world to help and protect them. The simple fact is he lost his job a long time ago and that set him back with his child support payments. Thankfully he had found a job again and is working hard to catch back up. He has been in court the last three years fighting against his ex to get a reduction of his payment because he does not make the same amount of money he was before. Thankfully just last week the court gave him that modification. Everyone in the country suffered from the financial downturn, and thousands lost their jobs. How is Slade any different? Every time I hear Tamra talking about Slade's situation as if she knows anything, I want to ask her, "Does that mean that Simon is a deadbeat father too?" I mean he lost his job and hit hard financial times and you guys lost your home? Would that qualify as a father that doesn’t take care of his children as well? Well I don’t believe so. I believe that is just life. Things happen. You do your best to get through those rough spots.
Moreover, I would never condone or date a man that did not make taking care of their children his highest priority. I want to have children one day with him. Why in the world would I even consider that if there was any chance of him not being a good parent or not caring about his children? That's just plain stupid. Slade's good name as a father has been drug through the mud by multiple sources, specifically when in the Season 5 reunion Vicki claimed he was not a good dad, and then Tamra jumped on that bandwagon. Those two have ridden that until the cows came home. They both had no business putting out there these horrible accusations they knew nothing about and have admitted to this. So my question is why do they still continue to do it?
Which leads me to the scene of Tamra and Vicki in her kitchen: I completely empathize with Vicki's emotions when you feel like you have hit rock bottom and nothing more can be put on your plate. I remember feeling so alone, lost, confused, overwhelmed, and like my spirit had been ripped away from me when Jeff passed away. All I wanted was my friends and family around me to help cheer me up or get me out of that horrible place of never-ending pain. It is the scariest feeling to think about someone you love so dearly having cancer or possibly not surviving it. I have felt all of this. I continue to feel it every day with Slade and his son who is battling brain cancer. My heart went out to Vicki and Brianna.
Then their conversation becomes about Slade. It just continues to break my heart to hear these two talk about Slade as if they know him, his heart, or who he truly is as a person. Unfortunately I feel like they are often so busy playing the victims and feeling sorry for themselves they forget that Slade is a person and has suffered great pain as well. They have made pretty horrible accusations about Slade on an international TV show. Unfortunately once you put something like that out there whether it's the truth or not, there are going to be people who believe it's the truth -- which, in fact, effects us way beyond that one episode. I understand they were hurt by what Slade said at the comedy club and I agree that the way he went about it was not correct. However Slade has never been the type of person that is mean to just be mean. Obviously there was a reason behind what he did, I wish the woman could have some insight and realize that maybe because of the things they had put out there about him, he was finally fighting back.
When they said, "How dare a man talk about a woman that way?" I thought what does that have to do with anything in this situation? Are they saying it is OK for them just because they are women to say anything defamatory about Slade's character, but it is not OK for a man? It makes me wonder with that level of hypocrisy, why are they surprised at Slade’s behavior? I mean how much can one person take right? Vicki was just saying this earlier to Tamra "How much can one take?" and Tamra was saying she was going to have a nervous breakdown. Well maybe Slade finally had his moment of "how much more can one take," and had his nervous breakdown. He decided to stand up to the bullying and fight back.
This leads us to the Bunco Party -- whoa what a night! The outfits were outrageous and hilarious. Each of our costumes fit our personalities so well, and the men were such good sports! My limo ride with Alexis was interesting to watch. I did not realize how annoyed Alexis was with Tamra and me becoming friends at this point. I mean you can understand my confusion. I can't seem to please these girls. One minute all they want is Tamra and I to "just get over it" and make amends, then as soon as we finally do, Alexis and Vicki both have such negative reactions to it. I don't know about them but when I forgive, I forgive wholeheartedly, not half-heartedly. I have to just start from scratch and give that person another chance because that is the only way I can move on without being fake about it. If I didn't give it 100 percent again then I would be lying to myself and being phony, that is something I am not and will never be. So if Alexis and Vicki think it's all too fast, I’m sorry, but I didn't do this for them. I did it for my own spirit and healing. However, forgiveness does not mean you have to forget about what was done to you, but if you spend so much time on the "never forgetting" part you will quickly realize that it will block your ability to truly just forgive and move on. I was ready to just move on. Something Vicki and Alexis encouraged both Tamra and me to do.
Ricky pissed me off because I felt like he was trying to start crap when there was not a good reason too. We were all having a great time and I didn't think it was the time or place to try and create drama. Unfortunately, because he didn't want to drop it, the situation escalated when he started to make accusations about things he really didn't know about. Are you guys seeing a pattern here in this circle of friends?
I was really surprised to see Tamra stay so far removed from it all, and then see her actually come to my defense. All these little things are what continued to help build a stronger friendship between her and I, because I saw her following through with what she said she was going to do. She said she wasn't going to listen to the chatter anymore and she was going to come straight to me. She showed good faith by doing it with the phone call she made earlier and then again at the Bunko party. This is all part of the reason her and I began to get closer and closer, because the trust was being rebuilt, all the while the trust with others began to crack as you will see in next week's episode. I believe this was the night the whole dynamic of the group changed.
When Vicki said to me "Does Slade think it’s nice to be mean to people?”" I almost lost it! If that wasn't calling the kettle black, I don't know what is, but I regained my composure and said "You know what, you need to take this up with Slade." I really, really, really was trying to stay out of it and not be in the middle and let Slade fight his own battle, but as you can see from the previews of next week I just couldn't do it anymore. I got pushed to my breaking point. I think this next episode has been three years in the making of me finally breaking. Pull out the popcorn this is going to be good! LOL!
Love talking to you all every week on Facebook , Twitter and my personal website, GretchenChristine.com. Thanks for all the amazing support and sweet messages every week, it means the world to me.
Till next week
xoxox Gretchen Christine