For the record, Slade is a wonderful dad who adores his children and would go to the depths of the world to help and protect them. The simple fact is he lost his job a long time ago and that set him back with his child support payments. Thankfully he had found a job again and is working hard to catch back up. He has been in court the last three years fighting against his ex to get a reduction of his payment because he does not make the same amount of money he was before. Thankfully just last week the court gave him that modification. Everyone in the country suffered from the financial downturn, and thousands lost their jobs. How is Slade any different? Every time I hear Tamra talking about Slade's situation as if she knows anything, I want to ask her, "Does that mean that Simon is a deadbeat father too?" I mean he lost his job and hit hard financial times and you guys lost your home? Would that qualify as a father that doesn’t take care of his children as well? Well I don’t believe so. I believe that is just life. Things happen. You do your best to get through those rough spots.
Moreover, I would never condone or date a man that did not make taking care of their children his highest priority. I want to have children one day with him. Why in the world would I even consider that if there was any chance of him not being a good parent or not caring about his children? That's just plain stupid. Slade's good name as a father has been drug through the mud by multiple sources, specifically when in the Season 5 reunion Vicki claimed he was not a good dad, and then Tamra jumped on that bandwagon. Those two have ridden that until the cows came home. They both had no business putting out there these horrible accusations they knew nothing about and have admitted to this. So my question is why do they still continue to do it?
Which leads me to the scene of Tamra and Vicki in her kitchen: I completely empathize with Vicki's emotions when you feel like you have hit rock bottom and nothing more can be put on your plate. I remember feeling so alone, lost, confused, overwhelmed, and like my spirit had been ripped away from me when Jeff passed away. All I wanted was my friends and family around me to help cheer me up or get me out of that horrible place of never-ending pain. It is the scariest feeling to think about someone you love so dearly having cancer or possibly not surviving it. I have felt all of this. I continue to feel it every day with Slade and his son who is battling brain cancer. My heart went out to Vicki and Brianna.
Then their conversation becomes about Slade. It just continues to break my heart to hear these two talk about Slade as if they know him, his heart, or who he truly is as a person. Unfortunately I feel like they are often so busy playing the victims and feeling sorry for themselves they forget that Slade is a person and has suffered great pain as well. They have made pretty horrible accusations about Slade on an international TV show. Unfortunately once you put something like that out there whether it's the truth or not, there are going to be people who believe it's the truth -- which, in fact, effects us way beyond that one episode. I understand they were hurt by what Slade said at the comedy club and I agree that the way he went about it was not correct. However Slade has never been the type of person that is mean to just be mean. Obviously there was a reason behind what he did, I wish the woman could have some insight and realize that maybe because of the things they had put out there about him, he was finally fighting back.
I was very impressed with the way you handled the situation with Slade and the comedy thing. I truly believe in the anger he harbors and only time will allow him to either forgive and move on or stay angry. But he has to find his own path. I say let him. He's a grown man and he was the one being ridiculed for so long.
I was also very much on your side at the Bunko party when you put Vicki in her place. She has no right to judge anyone and it's so interesting how her boyfriend is now experiencing what Slade has. I am disheartened she won't even apologize to Slade for jumping in his personal business with his ex.
Good luck with all you are doing. You are such a breath of fresh air!
Gretchen Vicki has no intention of saying she is sorry for what she has done to Slade, I do not care for him.. But it is not my place to own your heart... Hold your head high, and give it to Vicki she deserves it.. Tamera has come to realize what she has done.. Vicki, she thinks she is all that and then some.. She has been married twice.. and probably working on another one.. She is the problem.. not the men.. Have a great week, and sock it to her... Please.. for all of us.. Shannon
Gretchen, it is interesting how you see Slade. Very different from the rest of the world, don't find him intelligent or funny at all. Also, do not see him as a victim. Poking fun at a woman's body is disgusting. Also, just so you know, woman is singular. Women is plural. :)
Aww poor Slade. Give me a break. You guys choose to be on this show and put you're dirty laundry out there. Sorry no sympathy here. The man is dirt. Like it or not.
Not a big fan of Vicki, this episode confirms it. The 'Holier Than Thu' Vicki, hit an all-time- low. That's Karma, Baby!
I think Slade should get a blog and defend himself. He was awful to do what he did at the expense of others. But comics do and I think Slade feels like he got a sounding board that makes him money so he is going for it. Grow some big girl panties Vicki and Tamara. Quit shelling it out if you can't take it.
Gretchen, I watched you years ago and didn't like you at all. This season, I really like you and enjoy watching you!
Don't listen to anything Vicki says. She is such a hypocrite. She is so jeoulous of you because you are so beautiful.
Be careful with Tamara. She cannot be trusted. Watch your back!!
Wishing you all the best.
Gretchen, you are smart, funny and beautiful. Slade is delusional, desperate for attention and TOTALLY UNFUNNY. He said that 300 people were in the room laughing their asses off - what room was he in? All I heard were crickets.
I enjoy your blog, a little long but it's well written. I think the comedy night thing with Slade has been blown way out of proportion and Tamra and Vickie were over-reacting to the version of events they were told. Perception is everything.
So the part of your blog that's off putting is your caution to viewers on writing their honest opinions. They don't need a lecture on posting. You're putting your life and actions out there, let people say what they want. I'm sure it's hard but everyone in reality tv is dealt the same cards. Chill it.
PS- you should not cut your hair! It's beautiful and really is your signature. I can only imagine people telling you to chop it off are envious.
Gretchen- I have been watching this show for several seasons, and you just get more and more likable. Even though none of us knows everything that goes on, one of the things is that the show does show each of you individually and then as a group. EVERY time I have seen you in your personal segments, you set such a positive example of who you are as a person. And I truly do not think that, throughout the seasons that you have been on this show, the editing was what did this. I think it is who you are. You are a positive and encouraging person. I have also watched the other ladies. Vicki seems to have been on a downward spiral getting increasingly judgmental and blind as time goes on. I'm seeing it everywhere for her--personal life and when everyone is together. Hopefully, she will use this as a way to realize the hurt she has caused people and simply apologize. Tamra was looking pretty bad off in that same manner last season, but she is really showing a 180 so far. I love the person I'm seeing in her. And from the sound of your blog, it seems like this is a real change in her. What a great blog!
Gretchen, you are AWESOME!! I wish you were my BFF! You are such a sweetheart, always there for your friends, funny, giving person, and you deserve all the good things coming your way!! :)
Gretchen~ I truly love the OC cast and I actually like all the women for different reasons. However, I agree with you when it comes to the negativity. Many of the women have talked negatively about Slade and they do not know the whole story about child support etc. Although, I do not agree with what Slade said about Tamra and Vicki you ARE right they should take it up with him not you. There was no reason for Ricki to start those shenanigans at what was supposed to be a fun night..which is such a bummer! I know when my husband has an issue with my friends and expresses his opinion or vice versa they need to take it up with each other as well. As far as you and Tamra being "BFF" I am also a person that forgives and tries to give people the benefit of the doubt..sometimes I get hurt and sometimes I don't but that is life and sometimes you need to take that risk. A few episodes ago when Slade was hesitant about you going to lunch with Tamra I can see why he didn't want you to get hurt again! My husband would do the same and he has before! As far as Vicki and Alexis being jealous it is hard for them we have all been jealous at one point and time. I have been on both ends of the spectrum people can say oh just make up but they are probably thinking it won't happen. When it does they become posessive. Overall, I am sure now the dust has settled and if not then I am sure we will continue to see it this season and next. Anyways, I think you are great and I cannot wait to see what unfolds! Stay strong!xoxo~Sara
I am happy you were able to express your views, and beliefs in such a clear, and concise manner. however; in your excitement to do so you neglected to spell check your writing. In the future, when you use the word woman to described one or more females the correct term would be women--woman is singular. Additionally, you should take time to review your writing, prior to posting. And that my dear, is neither an opinion, or point of view, but a "fact". Aside from that, in my opinion, I think you're wonderful to watch this year, just need to get rid of the dead weight that is Slade. Again, this isjust my opinion.
Gretchen, I for one am glad you finally lost it! I truly believe Vicki has been hypercritical since she started RHOC. I have to say, the first episode this season, Vicki said Don is still living in the home, because she needs his paycheck!!!! All these years she has always told everyone to get a job!!! Also said she makes good money...Never heard her say she needed Don before. You can still have a job and struggle. Sorry but glad she is able to wear those shoes now. Hope it changes her as a person. I think Bravo has us see Slade as they want us to. I strongly believe it has given Vicki & Tamra the right to feel they are justified with how they treat him in the public. I sure hope at the reunion show this year, all will give each other a public apology, and we can move on from this story line. There's much more DRAMA to get ratings for!
That was crazy! I just think that Slade should have respected you enough to not to do that awful routine. It really was not even funny! The lack of respect that he shows for you on that episode was evident when we did not respect your wishes to not do that silly routine. My husband would totally not have done that to the women that I was trying to mend broken fences with; knowing that his comedy routine would have made it more difficult on me. He is a slimey little man and you deserve better!
So proud of your new and improved positive attitude. BUT, I'm a bit leery of this new relationship betweeen you & Tamara. I believe when you started on the show that Tamara was a bit jealous,and if you & she had it out early on the friendship might have been believable. Noooww, not so much. I do applaud you for being your own person and finding your voice in a most lady like way, but BEWARE of not only Tamara, but Alexis also. She's has no personality, and this has nothing to do with religion, I just find her so very vanilla and irrelevant. Watch how she sucks up to Heather. Just a thought...
Well Gretchen, it has been years since I have liked anything that you said..but things change and I like your post. I also believe that Slade is not a dead beat dad..he may not be my pick..but I think he has been humilated enough on the show and that does include you and his Mom..and the other women. I know you guys are digging out and trying to build something and I for one wish you the best.
Gretchen - Stay strong! You did nothing wrong when you reminded Vicki of her behavior. She has been saying mean things about Slade for as long as he has been on the show.There really is only so much any one person can take! You and Slade are great people.
Your growth is amazing.. and inspiring.. It is awesome to watch this process in you.. Vicki needs to try that growth thing for herself
Gretchen don't you know by now that Vicki does not live by the same rules or values that she expects from everyone else? We see it year after year. She can be a mean girl to everyone else but don't treat her this way! She can talk about everyone else but don't do it to her! It is her pattern and until she sees this and grows from it, she will continue to have the conflicts she has....but she will only see it as being picked on.
Oh cry me a river. The viewers don't have the other men crammed down thier throats like Smily has been all these years, so you must be prepared for the fallout. Douche is certainly an understatement.
Well said Gretchen, u couldnt said it better. You touched based in each questions I had...Honestly, I love Vicky but it is true when asked her what made it ok for her to judge Slade....Slade was I little mean to them in the comedy show but they were really mean to him last season too, he needed to defend himself. I don't like the way Tamra is, she is a bully and I dont agree with both of u being friends because I think you better than her. But I agree that both u you should be at peace....I like Alexis, she is a nice person and it seems that she has been trying to be supportive as a friend to you. But I dont see that alot from your part to her. She is a smart lady but sometimes I feel like she is set up to be seen as phony girl....You and Vicky are my favorite ones and I hope not to get disappointed now that u and Tamra are friends...
Gretchen I do not know how you put up with Vicki she is two faced, it is always about her and what is going on in her life that matters. hang in there
Gretchen, keep on keeping on young lady. Vicky needs to take a step back and listen to herself, her own mouth is her worst enemy. Her sharp tongue cuts both ways, she needs to count to ten before she opens it.
I think you are funny, pretty and true to yourself. I'm on the fence about Slade, but I understand the financial downturn really hurt him and his family as it has ours. Also, I hope and pray that his son makes a full recovery from the brain cancer. I think you are right on about Vickie, she is a self righteous hypocrite about Slade and so many things, she really is a disgusting, selfish woman, and you would o well to keep her and her toxic ways far away from you. Good luck in all your endeavors and I hope you have a full and happy life.
you are by far my fav on the show. You seem to be the most REAL and down to earth. I love that you are trying to put the past in the past and resolve old issues.on the lighter side love your hair and clothes. Just saying to my boyfriend that I loved the robe you had on. (maybe he will buy me one lol)
Finally the voice of reason! Gretchen you seem to be the Only grown up here! The others are in such awe of the camera they can't see the way the audience see's them! In my opinion Slade had every right to give back to Vicki and Tamra all that they dished out! The bible says 'as you so, so shall you reap'! I hope both learn ' don't dish it out if you can't take it' and obviously neither can! Personally I didn't think Slade was very funny, but his Mom had me in stitches! So glad to hear Slade found a job! I was getting really sick of all the bloggers saying how he should flip burgers at Mc Donalds! And finally our prayers are with you! A child with Brain cancer is hard enough without being slammed by people every step of the way! My sister had brain cancer gleoblastomia of the left temporal lobe for 31 years ( she is the longest person to live with this so far!) She passed away in 1999! Her former doctor William Hyman MD. Credited her long life by saying they blasted the Tumor with radiation at the right faze of the moon! Although my best friends mother had asked the Carmelite Nuns (formerly of Long Beach,Ca) to pray for her on a Thursday. That next Sunday she awoke from a coma and asked for some spagetti! She was 20. Although there were obstacle's she lived to 51!!! And the cancer wasn't the cause of death, staf infection was! I pray Slade's son has a long and happy life.
The only "negative" thing I have to say is about the whole "How dare a man talk about a woman that way" comment. I agree. For me it wasn't so much that he was talking ABOUT them, but talking about their figures/facial features. No woman should be ridiculed for those things.
I almost lost it as well when Vicki said that at the party!! Holy Moly....that is the pot calling the kettle black!! I’m so happy you stood up to her and called her out on it. Vicki doesn’t think the rules apply to her!! She is no better than anyone else!! And the sooner she realizes that, the better…for EVERYONE!! Keep being you, girlie!!! YOU ROCK!!!! xoxo
Gretchen, You have put up with Tamra and Vicki's BS for years. The have verbally attacked and degraded you for years. When you decided to go out with Slade it was your CHOICE. Tamra and Vicki started then verbally attacking him and you. If you choose to bury the hatchet with Tamra, good for you but they have no right to demand that Slade do the same. Its kind of karma that Vicki is now dating someone with bigger child support issues. You are a beautiful, smart and funny person. You have a great outlook and your smile lights up a room. You are or never have been the hateful one. Gretchen, just keep on smiling and laughing, humor will guide you through all the rough times.
Sweet Gretchen. You are such a beautiful, talented, smart girl. I cannot for the life of me understand how you can date Slade. He's a loser, he's broke, and he's dated TWO OTHER HOUSEWIVES. I know that you love him, but I honestly think he's beneath you, and that he's using you. Find someone on your level, and for the love of God do not have kids with that idiot!!! He can't support the ones he already has, why do you think your children will be any different???
Great blog Gretchen, I actually read it right through to the end! You have a good heart and your intentions are good. I loved to see you finally stand up to Vicki - she really needed to come down off her self-made throne. Stay true to yourself and please don't wait too long to have kids... a woman's fertility peaks at 40!
Gretchen,you are definitely my favorite! You're beautiful,smart,and funny. If you weren't on the show it would be so boring. Also, I'm glad you stand by your man. Slade's a good guy. We all go through rough times in our lives. People need to stop judging others. Hope you have a great season!!
Gretchen, THAT was one well written blog! WOW!! I have no doubt you felt embarrassed by some of Slade's routine. After all, it was hurtful. Yet, he most likely has so much sideways anger, esp at Vicki (Tamra too) because now Vicki is walking in those shoes and she is NEVER wrong! It's a shame you were caught in the middle. The most salient point you made is one of the mending of friendships. That part is just beyond baffling to me. I am very glad to see you and Tamra making an attempt. It doesn't make any sense, other than pure jealousy on both the part of Alexis and Vicki to NOT want peace between the 2 of you. You're in a place of forgiveness and like you said, it doesn't mean you actually forget...but you cannot move forward unless you're making the attempts you are making. I am of the belief that Tamra feels the same way. Kudos to you. You don't lack maturity, that's for certain. We are only viewers and do not live with you and Slade. It's your heart, your mind and your decision. Why can't that be enough for women who are supposed to be "good friends?" Yesh....
Ricky was a douche. I do not know what his deal was trying to stir up trouble. Guess he wanted some drama. What a tool.
I also find it ironic that the people who have been saying crap about Slade are the first to jump on him when he dishes it back. I think it is because it makes them look at themselves and realize that they were also in the wrong.
I am glad Tamra was coming to your defense, though.
Go Gretchen! I am glad you finally stood up to the bully Vickie! I love Slade and can see why you do. It was nice to see you stand up for him even though you disagree with what he did!
Gretchen, I can totally sympathize with you...You and Slade have been through enough over the last couple of seasons. You can only take so much! I really respect the way you have forgiven Tamra for what she has done in the past and you are taking the high road and trying to move on. I give you alot of credit for that because it takes alot of courage...especially what her and Vicki have put you through. For anyone to question someone's parenting skills is disrespectful and horrible. Going through any illness with a loved one, especially his son has to be so painful as it is...but to have accusations thrown at you on top of it is disgusting. I can completely understand the anger and pain you and Slade have endured and don't blame him for his actions. Glad to see Tamra has admitted her faults, just wish Vicki could be woman enough to understand what Slade has gone through especially since she is going through illness in her family. Maybe in the future she will admit she was wrong and you two can move on. Hopeful thinking!!! Good luck with your future and keep your chin up. The truth will always set you free!!! Take care!
Slade needs Vicki and Tamara as much as they need him. This feud and nastiness is boring and childish - without the feud none of you are relevant and your story lines go away. Four or five pages of blah blah talking about Slade? Now I know why I have not been watching