Sorry in advance cause my emotions are flowing and I can tell this blog is going to be long! I have a lot I want to address from this episode and am not sure if a blog is the best place, but I’m going to just put it all out there.
It’s important that I address one recurring question right out the door: people keep asking why we all have harsh things to say about one another all the time on the show, and I completely agree because I know it is draining on all of us ladies. However please remember this show is about having an opinion about the others -- good, bad, or ugly. We might all deliver that information differently but at the end of the day, if we choose to be a part of this show we have to have an opinion.
OK, so forgive me in advance for this long rant, but since a lot of you have asked questions about this situation with Alexis I will address all the questions here. First off, no matter what, I am sorry that I hurt Alexis’ feelings because that was never my intention. I will explain my true intentions here. First of all I must say I think Alexis is beyond super sensitive to anything I say or do anymore because of my newfound friendship with Tamra. She claims in this episode that before I was friends with Tamra I would have been a lot more supportive of her, but the truth is Alexis’ own insecurities have caused her to change her thoughts towards me. Before I was friends with Tamra, Alexis wouldn’t have ever questioned my intentions with these kinds of things or be so sensitive. I am confident that I have remained the same person because my past record proves that I have always been honest and straightforward with her and all my friends, even if they won't like what I have to say. It’s just who I am. I refuse to be fake.
Alexis, on the other hand, clearly states this episode that she would have never told me about it if she got offered the job and if they kept calling her. Well this is the main difference between Alexis and me, and why I have pulled away from her. I am not the kind of friend that sugarcoats stuff or is not honest with you. Friends should be able to tell each other anything. As this season unfolds, you will start to see her take heat for being fake and phony and not telling the truth even when necessary at times. If most of us are experiencing this same thing when dealing with Alexis, can we all be wrong? Isn’t that exactly what Alexis said to Vicki when we all addressed Vicki at lunch in San Francisco a few years back?
"What the Heck!" Even as a big, large Bear, I want a tee-shirt with your saying and "Team Gretchen" on the back! You do you....I'm a teacher with "at risk" teens and I sometimes use your story line in my classroom. The message of speaking the truth is a good one for many kids who love to place role models on tv personalities that are "unhealthy". Your interaction with Alexis about tv gig is a great example of how to approach a friend about a delicate issue. You did a great job.....Keep the faith and keep working hard to empathize with Vickie. She is a good person, you are a good person....delivery of messages between different people are always hard. Keep being the role model that you are and know that there are folks in the high desert of Utah that love watching all of the Housewives!
There really wasn't any real reason to tell Alexis about the news station offering you the position first - you really could have kept that to yourself.
Well said Gretchen!!! You should be proud of everything you have accomplished. Vickie and Alexis are delusional (and jealous)!! You rock!
Gretchen- You used to be a favorite of mine; however, this season you are sliding down the ladder rapidly. I was never a fan of Alexis' but you and Tamara are making me root for her more than I ever thought I would. You were mean to tell Alexis about the job at Fox. You know it. Everyone knows it. I certainly don't blame you for keeping your friendship with Vicki at a distance, but I would have kept Tamara at an even further distance. Tamara is starting to re-reveal her true self. And it's not pretty. I know this episode was taped months and months ago, but I can tell by your blog that you are still on the Tamara Mean Team. Please, please, please take a look at yourself in the mirror. You have sooo much to gain.
gretchen, you have long been my favorite housewife, but i fear to tell you - as honest and straightforward as you have been, yuou have changed. The blond extensions and the tons of make up.... and you have now let them drag you into their high school crap. rise above it G...
Amen Gretchen. You need to do what makes you uncomfortable. Thats what makes you grow. You have done that over and over and now with the pussycat dolls. You are a true leader Gretchen. Keep going and growing. You are an inspiration, to go after your dreams and don't give away your power to the haters to pull you down. Love you.
Wow! Only one person is overly sensitive and defensive and that person is you. It's been sad to watch your desperation for tamara's affections change the person that you were. I'm no longer a Gretchen fan..you have joined the "mean girl" club and it looks as though your the only one that can't see it.
You sound so self obsorbed. It's one thing not to be fake with your friends and tell people your honest opinions but your approach to it is awful and hurtful. Your comment about how you could have just taken her job just mean spirited. It seems like your switching from team Alexis to team tamra. Always remember what people have done to you in the past it will happen again most likely, it takes a lot of work for people to change.
Gretchen, You were consumed with Tamra for two seasons and Alexia was your support. All you would complain about or talk about to Alexia. I wanted to stop watching the show!
"How do you tell someone you care about something like this without hiring them?" That's what you say about having to tell Alexis. Here's a thought..... How bout away from the cameras? If you were telling her because you just refuse to be fake and not for any other reason you'd have done it between friends away from the show. She did need your advice and should have taken that at face value..... But don't you think that might be hard to do of you're in shock sitting there wondering what the hell is going on? Then you go on to call her a phony and a fake and you're the real one right? How does it make Alexis a phony because she chooses to not hurt people? That may not be how you do things and that's cool but that doesn't make it wrong or fake. I think Alexis is right and a lot of us out in TV land see that you totally have changed since getting close to Tamra........ And not in a good way.
I am a proud "jack of all trades, master of none." To me a person who does one thing their whole life is depriving themselves of some humbling experiences. Many of the things I've attempted were not "successful" to the extent of making money or putting on a resume, however I've been able to cross off a lot of my bucket list interests. The point of most of them were NEVER to build a resume anyway, rather a soul searching experience. Be a freebird, live it up, and keep that amazing spirit of yours alive!
KUDOS to you for putting yourself out there like that...you are much more brave than most of us would ever be.
Hey Rossi keep up that positive outlook you have! Life is full of BS and Vicki's so just keep being you and I wish you all the best!
Gretchen, if Alexis is not jealous of you, she really needs to stop acting like she is. Please correct me if I'm wrong. As I recall, didn't she make a VERY BIG DEAL last season that if a friend was a real friend, they would tell her something directly? She was a dog with a bone on that one and did not waiver... So with that in mind in addition to how you felt awkward that you were also approached and wanted to let her know before she found out some other way, is what a good friend would do. "It was like Gretchen had to say that to make herself feel better because she couldn't be truly happy for my success." Success? Really? Did she not see the "segment" as we did? Delusional. "If you live by the golden rule, you try to imagine how something would make you feel before you say it." Wouldn't this also apply to not be defensive when a friend is giving you the constructive criticism you had just asked for? Sometimes as a friend you must quit because with some people, everything you say will be taken negatively. Regarding Vicky...just give up on that one. Accept if she is at least nice to you to your face and don't care about her comments behind your back. She will always try to talk badly about you every chance she gets and will continue to do so. Let her. She only comes across as a "bitter party of one". It's pathetic and doesn't deserve your time or energy. Thanks so much. You (and Tamra) always make me smile.
Gretchen - I think that you are in the wrong by mentioning your Fox5 segment offer to Alexis. It's not honesty you need to worry about (and try to explain away ad nauseum) but respect for your friend's feelings and accomplishments. It just wasn't something that needed to be said to her... it served no purpose, it wasn't constructive in any way and it certainly didn't show any character on your part. Sometimes, one has to step back and let another feel special.
I hope Bravo posts this: Describe each OC housewife with one word:
Alexis -- PHONY Gretchen -- BEAUTIFUL Heather -- CLASSY Tamra -- HILARIOUS Vicky -- HORRID
You were never my fav houswife Howerver you have finally admitted that Alexis is a phony and she will "one up" all her friends away due to her insecurities. I love Heather because she is up front with what bothers her. If you would try that approach i would probably like you more. Because I knew from the day you met Alexis that she annoyed you as much as she annoyed Peggy and the viewers for that matter LOL.
So, if Tamra is not fake then the stuff she told everyone about your affair with Jay is true?? Secondly, Tamra said first that she woud kill Slade with kindness which is basically what Vicki said so why didn't you call Tamra out on that?? Again, it's a blog about Vicki, Vicki, Vicki!
I've watched almost every episode of the OC, you have been the stand out star in my book. I applaud you and how you have remained the same since you started. One of the few consistent personalities. Nobody would watch a show where everyone gets along, but you've remained the most morally sound. Way to go on being honest and forthright with these women, whether they can take it or not isn't your fault. You weren't being NEARLY as critical as I would have been, friends are there to help you do/be your very best and let you know things before they have to read them online. You are a wonderful person and I greatly admire your inside and out beauty. xoxo
I don't understand how you telling Alexis with 'good intentions' would help? what were your good intentions trying to achieve? how would it help matters apart from making her feel insecure about her job? You didn't take it, she did, end of. If you never intended to take it anyway then what is the problem? I usually like you and I like straight talkers but this looked like simple jealousy on your part and mean. OF course she would take it that way if she doesn't know the alleged 'awkward situation'. Own up. The acting coach bit was constructive criticism and a helpful idea, boasting they want you for her job, was not. If she found out later then fine but who would she have found out from? Only you!
Just not quite sure of your motives, I don't think telling Alexis you got offered the job first was being upfront and honest, it was hurtful. I find it hard to believe you were telling her so that she wouldn't get mad later if she found out. You knew how proud she was of this job and deep down you had to know saying you were offered it first would hurt her. After saying this however, I love you on the show!
Sorry...not buying what you're selling. It was mean to tell Alexis you were offered the tv position first. I don't think it served a purpose...other than you being competitive and trying to out-do Alexis. If you didn't like her reaction, maybe consider your comments caught her off-guard and she gave a flustered response. On the other hand, I have long thought Slade was a great guy and I hope viewers are finally seeing it. Finally, not liking your friendship with Tamra....by far the meanest of the OC housewives.
Gretchen you are authentic, funny, and driven! i love watching you, and although we all have our lapses in judgement, i think you've taken this platform that you were given and have chosen to really go for it. alexis is jealous and competitive, and it doesn't go unnoticed. i'm happy for your success! xo
Gretchen I like you..... And I have alleyways felt like tamra was jealous of you. Now with the whole Alexis thing..... If you look back the reason the stopped liking her is because she was always defending you.... Alexis is a bit silly I agree but that she had your back there isn't a question about it. I honestly don't see the reason for why you told her about fox now? Why not when she first got it, it seems like you brought it up on camera on purpose.... If your real then why didn't you tell her back when she first told you? Also why would it be a difficult situation that they keep asking you? Are you actually thinking about taking it? If no then there is no situation. Some truths have no purpose therefor they should just be kept to ourselfs.... I really feel like she is supportive of you. Watching you I almost feel like you were only friends with her because no one else liked you. That's just my opinion of that one situation... Good luck with everything.
You did not even wait for Alexis to talk about her job at Fox Five with you, you just jumped right in to let her know they wanted you first. And no, you did not tell her in a kind, caring way. You don't even know your own behavior. And visiting a friend 5 days after the nose job when you go to the hospital to see Tamara! Lame. No wonder Alexis feels insecure, you give her all the reasons not to trust someone she used to trust.
Every time I read your blog, I am amazed by how smart you are! I'm not talking about your grammar... anyone can learn good grammar. However, you are very insightful.
Your Blog consists of words like "true" and "honest" which I find,to say the least,odd since,out of all the Housewives,your credibility,has questioned the most.I must add that the slur about Peggy compounds the obvious fact you really are not Alexis's friend.Too bad.She has been loyal to you.Your loss.
Gretchen, You and Tamara are my favorites! If you didn't tell Alexis that you were offered the job she would have gotten mad at you...just like she did when Peggy didn't tell her about dating Jim. If you do tell her, then you are considered competition. She clearly feels that she is the SECOND choice in these situations and for whatever reasons she becomes competitive and defensive. I would have done exactly what you did. It is not you, SHE is the problem. You and Tamara are so much alike. I think Tamara completely misread you at the beginning and by watching herself on tv she realized she was wrong. I am so glad that you two could make a friendship happen out of a bad relationship. It is really hopeful for all the rest of the people watching to know that it is possible for some good to come out of these situations. If Alexis understood the TRUE meaning of claiming to be a Christian she would see it the same way. She needs therapy to find out why she is so insecure.
I think if you and Vicki called a truce it would serve you two well. Every blog she digs at you and you do the same. You two are in very different places in your lives and cannot find any mutual ground. So, stay away from each other, and if you have to be in the same room, just be polite. How hard of a concept is that to grasp. It doesn't make you appear geniune when you spend so much time defending yourself or putting another person down. Tit for tat is never a good look. As fas as Alexis, she has always been an insecure person. She wants what others have and then some. You should have taken the high road and not mention her in your blog for how many pages lol. Gretchen you are quickly fading into a bitter woman.
I always liked you, but you seem to be finding excuses to drop Alexis as a friend now that Tamara has finally accepted you. Are you seriously insinuating that you are pulling away from her because she has become more insecure about your friendship? What total BS! Of course she is! Anyone would be. Tamara is a total witch to her! This is when you should reassure Alexis of your friendship more than ever, if you were a true friend, that is. Remember, you can be honst and still be NICE.
Gretchen, I understand that you wanted to make Alexis aware of the situation; however, if you were truly trying to be a good friend, that kind of conversation would not have taken place on camera. Regardless of what you are now proclaiming to the Bravo satiated world, a part of you wanted others to know that you had been offered the job first ahead of Alexis...keep in mind though you might have only gotten the call because someone else turned it down. The shoe could always be on the other foot. How would you like to hear that kind of news on national television. "Keeping it real" is not an invitation to be insensitive.
YOu need to be nicer to Alexis. How can you be friends with Tamra and Heather, who trash Lex every chance they get?
Gretchen, you're one of my favorite housewives! I look forward to reading your blog every week because you keep it real. I appreciate that you take the time out to comment on the episodes & provide a thoughtful blog. I wished all the housewives did the same thing! Good luck to you! :)
Gretchen, I am so proud of you for distancing yourself from Alexis and getting closer to Tamra. Tamra is a better friend! She will talk behind your back for years and call you out on your relationships with Jeff, other men and Slade, call you out on your vibrator incident and get you drunk at her house to make fun of you all night long. Yo go girl!!!
Gretchen, I have always liked you, but you gotta see that Tamra is a mean girl and she just decided to move on from you to Alexis. Being mean to Alexis is so easy. You shouldnt have to break someone down to feel better about yourself. I wouldnt trust Tamra and dont forget how mean she was to you and how that made you feel. She has pretty much just traded victims. I still dont get the reason even with your explanation on why you would tell Alexis about the job offer. She is proud of her job and you tainted that for her. Way to be a good friend.
Gretchen you are so sweet! You were trying to help Alexis, not be rude! She took it there. Alexis has always been pompous and self righteous, looking down her nose at everyone. Glad you see it now! She is toxic! Her and Jim definatley deserve eachother.
Gretchen... you went from being my absolute favorite to my LEAST and I don't even love Alexis, never have!! I hate when girls defend eachother, have a fight, and then one goes back and agrees with people she disagreed with before!!! lol! Agreeing with Peggy?? Come on - get over yourself! You are a terrible friend since you have fallen under Tamra's spell... please, give it a rest and admit it. It. Is. So. Obvious. Horrible, horrible friend.
Gretchen, so glad to hear you have distanced yourself from Alexis. You said it...your damned if you do and damned if you don't. Loved your blog. Love you, Tamra and Heather. I wish Bravo would replace Alexis and Vicky, they are soooo not fun to watch. Maybe Bravo should give them their own show called Two Sad Delusional Women.
I'm sorry to hear your friendship with Alexis has gone sour. I hope you both can work this out. Please don't jump on the mean Tamra/Heather train.
Great Gretchen! This is one of the best blogs you've written and I have to agree with you regarding Alexis and this whole competitive thing. First it was Peggy, then Heather and now you? Hmmm 3 people saying the same thing? My advice, and a verse from Kandi's song, Fly above your haters! I wish you success in all your ventures!
Not your fun anymore...but I get it. For you it's either friendship or paycheck. Some people (Alexis hint hint) can do both.
I don't normally post comments on this site, but feel the need to do so on this topic.
Do not ever feel bad at all about being an honest friend. When I look back at all my friends, the ones I cherish the most are the ones who were BRUTALLY honest with me. It hurt when it happened, but I knew deep in my heart they were right and I love them all the more for doing it. Don't ever change that in you, Gretchen. A friend like that is to be cherished. I'd rather have one true-brutally-honest-friend than 200 say-what-you-want-to-hear-friends.
btw: if Alexis weren't so insecure, she would have seen what a good friend you were being to her. I almost feel sorry for Alexis.





Gretchen, you rock!!! It takes alot of courage to get out there and do what you did! Don't let any of the negativity get to you, just go out there and have a blast;)
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