Gretchen ponders how friendship changes and answers your questions about this season.
I cannot believe another year of RHOC as come and gone! Wow! It has been a very exciting year for me, and I am proud of all the things I have accomplished! I have always been a girl who goes after her dreams. Even if I fail, at least I can say I tried! I am so grateful to all the RHOC fans that tune in every week to watch our stories unfold! It has been another great and successful season full of laughs, tears and change!
Change happened a lot this season -- my relationship with Tamra, my relationship with Alexis, the growing pains that Slade and I went through, my fight and make-up with Vicki, and a new gal joined the group! You guys were right there with me every step of the way. Thank you for your kind messages, support, understanding, and even questioning of some of my actions this season. I read and listen to all of your feedback, good or bad, because that is how I learn to be a better person, friend, and partner.
I never have nor will I ever claim to know everything, but this is what I know for sure: no matter how it might come across at times, I am a very loyal friend and partner -- sometimes to a fault. I believe in the best in everyone, even if it hurts me, and I want to see everyone happy. I wish no ill will towards any of the woman, and I pray and hope every single one of us is successful, blessed, and happy in our own ways.
With that said I will make a couple points about some questions I keep getting from the fans.
Let's start with one of the most popular questions: Why have I chosen Tamra over Alexis? The fact of the matter is there was never a choice to be made. I never needed to only be friends with Tamra or only Alexis. One simply does not affect the other, at least from my point of view. I do believe however that by choosing to forgive and move on with Tamra it changed how Alexis acted towards me. She started to challenge everything I did or didn't do. I was always doing something wrong in her eyes from that day forward. I finally had to realize and ask myself If Alexis really was such a close friend of mine? Because the truth is, if she really was and really knew me then she never would have questioned if I had her best interest at heart. I am still very close with my friends from high school and college and they never would have thought the things Alexis thought I was out to do to her. I had to come to grips with that truth and it has made me very sad. Unfortunately, I don’t want or need friends like that in my life.
And so here is what I know for sure: I know that I never changed towards Alexis. I was the same friend I have always been -- straight-forward, honest, and fair (rules apply both ways). I say this because Alexis always asked to stay out of the fight with Tamra and I. She said she wanted to stay neutral and that we both had good points. Well when the tables are turned her same rules don't apply to me and that bothers me. I really wanted nothing more than to stay out of their fight this season. Think about it, you don't see me running around with the other ladies talking smack about Alexis to the other woman, and the girls actually confirmed that I always defended Alexis to them in Costa Rica. I simply told my friend some things she obviously was not wanting to hear in a very non-confrontational, non-aggressive, "I care enough about you to tell you the truth" way. So for her to be playing "Poor me, Gretchen was so mean to me" is ridiculous. I'm not buying it, nor am I going to be the scapegoat.
Another question that keeps coming my way, from both the audience and even Alexis, has been why I decided to bring some things up on camera. I'm sorry did I miss something aren't we on a "reality" show? The whole point of this show is to discuss issues at hand on camera, not off camera. We are expected to have an opinion about things and the other cast members -- good or bad. I am not going to do things only off-camera because that would make me unauthentic. If Alexis specifically asked me not to share something on camera or told me something she said she wanted to keep something private, I would respect that and not discuss a personal thing that I knew she didn't want discussed, but the Fox Five gig and the Costa Rica talk was not one of those topics. If you want everything to be discussed off camera then maybe you shouldn’t be on camera. Just a thought.
Bottom line, I care about Alexis and wish her well. I hope she continues to do what makes her happy, and I hope one day we can make amends. But right now there is just too much hurt and question in my mind if that friendship is what is best for me right now, so I have chosen to step back. I know a lot of you might not understand that right now, but remember there is a lot that is not captured on camera or always shown.
The next question I get a lot of is if Tamra and I are still friends -- and the answer is yes. We talk all the time and have really enjoyed becoming real friends. No it is not fake!!! Even though at times it still seems very strange because of all the past issues, the fact of the matter is that when I forgive I forgive. It's not a half-ass thing. I just move forward. Tonight's moment between her and I is really is what created the space to truly just move on because Tamra finally gave me the validation that I knew I deserved way back when she was questioning me.
As you can see if caused me to get very emotional because I had been wanting that validation for some time now. Many of you keep bringing up all the things she did to me and Slade and I want you all to know that I am very aware of those things and those things left huge marks in my heart at the time. And even though they can’t be erased, they can be fixed and forgiven, and I believe this season has been the start of that. Tamra is in a much better place in her life, which has allowed her to really get to know Slade and I from a different point of view and she has taken many steps to repair the damage her actions might have caused us before. I appreciate that about her and value the friendship we have developed. I might not always agree with her delivery of things and I give her a hard time about some of the things she says, however what I like about her is that at least I always know where I stand with her. There is no guessing or trying to figure it out. She just gives it to me straight even if I don't like it, and I like that in a friend because that is exactly how I am!
I am so happy for her and Eddie! Now all the rumors of me begging for an engagement ring and not being happy for Tamra can be put to rest, because as you see the season unfold you see that is the furthest thing from the truth. I did not even want to be married or engaged at that time. I am happy she is finally in a happy relationship and happy and confident in herself! I have always wanted that for her despite our past! I think every woman deserves that!
Next question is what’s my status with Vicki and how do I deal with someone that is such a hypocrite. Vicki and I don't talk on a regular basis; we are just not that kind of friends. I unfortunately lost a lot of respect for her this season because of so many different things, but again I don't wish her ill. Slade, myself, her and Brooks went to dinner and she apologized to Slade for all the things she said about him. I am very happy she did that. Bottom line with her is that I see she is happy with Brooks and that is all that should matter. However as a woman who has been taken advantage of by a man before, I will definitely be protective and concerned about a man who seems to be raising everyone's red flags, including her own children.
Obviously I don't like that Vicki is hypocritical with a lot of things in her life, and the rules do always seem to apply to everyone but herself. However unless it directly affects me I don't really care how she chooses to life her life. After watching her this season, I actually don't feel bad for her anymore because so many people around her point these issues out to her but she continues to defend her actions and turns a blind eye to it. I hope she repairs her relationship with her daughter and she is making the right decision with Brooks and not alienating her family because of it. I know Brianna and Tamra only wanted what was best for her.
Lastly, but certainly not least, everyone keeps asking if I think Heather was a good addition. The answer is most certainly YES! Heather has become a great friend and she and Terry has been so great to Slade and me. They have brought class, style, and luxury at its finest to the OC Housewives! I really enjoy their company, their children, and their no-non sense attitude. I am so glad my initial feelings about Heather changed as the season went on. I have come to adore and admire her. She has been a good friend to me, and is constantly concerned if I have the right friends around me (Heather you know what I am talking about. . .LOL) and I look forward to that friendship continuing to grow.
Slade and I are doing great, and as I said we definitely went through some growing pains but he has made some great strides in fixing some of the issues at hand and we are excited about the next stage of our life! BABIES! (hopefully) And the question everyone keeps asking about. . . marriage? Well I can tell you this, marriage for sure one day! He has his new radio show on playlist 92.7 that I talked about in my blog last week and he is doing so well right now, and I couldn't be happier for him! I love this man with all my heart and soul, and I am a lucky girl to have a man that just adores me, supports me, and loves me for me!
It was sad to see Tamra and Vicki's relationship come to such a drastic end. Nobody wants to see that happen between long time friends. However it is a testament to life and how the seasons are always changing. People come and go in our lives for a reason; I personally believe God has reasons for everything. Sometimes we don’t always understand it at that moment and it hurts and we ask why, but at some point you realize it maybe was for the best. Some people are meant to be friends forever while others just are a short period of time in your life. But each friendship/ partnership was there to teach us something. It’s up to each of us to realize the lesson taught to us and hopefully grow from that. Well that sums up my thoughts on this season! I know the reunion is going to be full of surprises and friendships are tested again so be sure to tune in!
My new song "Unbreakable" was released today on iTunes and is doing so well thanks to all the amazing fans! The song as many of your know was inspired by Slade's youngest son Grayson who is battling brain cancer. He is a testament to all of us that no matter what life throws you, you can be unbreakable!
Obviously on tonight's episode I give Tamra a bracelet that references how she needs to always remember that she is unbreakable. This song's lyrics can apply to anyone out there that has gone through anything that is tough. Life is hard, and sometimes we feel like we are going to break, but this is why I wrote this song! I want each of you to remember that nothing can stop you, nothing can break you, you are strong enough to get back up and keep fighting no matter what. Blast this song and sing at the top of your lungs that you are unbreakable! Read these lyrics on my website and embrace them.
Please also visit my website to see the story behind the song and how it all came together in studio here. I am so proud of this song! Be Strong, Be Confident, Be You. . .Unbreakable!
Lastly all the samples are in for the pink collection, and here is a little sneak peak of them!
You guys are going to die for this collection! It is one of my favorites! I can't wait for you guys to get these bags in the next few weeks! Send your email to firstname.lastname@example.org to be added to the list and write "Pink Collection" as the subject!
Till the Reunion!
Have a very Happy 4th of July! I am headed to Bass Lake with the family! Yes Tamra I'm going to Bass Lake! LOL!
Xoxo Gretchen Christine