Tamra, The way you react and act seems to be typical of one who has been verbally abused, perhaps physically, during childhood. You have a fear of abandonment and low self esteem. It really saddens me to see you in such pain. You seem to enjoy "splitting" people apart. Meaning, if there is a group of friends, you like to get in there and break up the friendships turning everyone against one another. You will then move to another victim. You don't seem to ever feel empathy for the people you are hurting. You would benefit greatly from therapy. Especially after multiple marriages, which is also typical. Ask your primary for names of therapists and give it a shot. It would benefit your children most of all.