Cast Blog: #RHOC

Close to my Shoulder Pads

Tamra: Lizzie's Obsessed With Me

Shannon Settles the Score

Lizzie: Tamra Doesn't Fight Fair

Heather: Why Hate?

RHOC Reunion GIFs: The Gloves Come Off

Lizzie on That Kentucky Fried Nickname

Shannon on Heather's Double Standard

RHOC Reunion GIFs: Psychics, Opinions, and Shade

Heather Weighs in on the Dinner Party

The Difference Between Shannon and Heather

Lizzie Forgives Tamra

Vicki Wants the Best for Tamra

GIF Recap: RHOC Season 9 Finale

Vicki: I'm Tired of Tamra Causing Problems

Recap: 13 GIF-able Life Lessons from Bali

Tamra: Lizzie Is the Worst Kind of Person

Lizzie: Tamra Has it Out for Me

Shannon: There's No Hope Tamra and I

Tamra: Lizzie's Out for Blood

Heather: Can't Friends Disagree

Lizzie: What Tamra's Doing Isn't Right

GIF Recap: Kayaks, Crowns, and Elephants

Shannon Was Shocked Tamra Would Betray Her

Tamra: I Was a Fool to Defend Vicki

Heather: Newsflash It's Not All My Fault

Vicki's Warning to Lizzie

Shannon Isn't Putting Emotions onto Tamra

Lizzie: I Thought Tamra Was My Friend

GIF Recap: Lizzie's Lonely Birthday Dance

Tamra: I'm Going to Be a Tam-ma!

Vicki: This Episode Was Hard to Watch

Heather: I Did Owe Shannon an Apology

Shannon: Tamra Is Stirring the Pot

Lizzie: Tamra Is Stirring Up Sh--

GIF Recap: What Does Tamra Remember?

Vicki Is Trying to Stay Neutral

Shannon: Tamra's Lies Are Mind Boggling

GIF Recap: Lizzie's Dinner Party Disaster

Vicki Advises Shannon to Keep Communication Lines Open

Lizzie: "I Take Sun Kitten Swimwear Very Seriously"

Close to my Shoulder Pads

Tamra reflects on her favorite decade and all the drama from this episode.

Being a wild child of the '80s I will hold that decade very close to my shoulder pads. I am not sure if it was the neon, the feathered hair, the Brat Pack, Jeff Spicoli, Pacman, Mr. Zog's sex wax, or Mr. Bill that made it so totally RAD? All I know is I will dress up in '80s clothes any chance I get.

I thought everyone look amazing and really put a lot of thought into their costumes. It was great seeing Heather all sexed up, since she is usually very conservative. Alexis was spot on Material Girl. Slade looked more like Joe Dirt, and Vicki did kind of have a Peg Bundy thing going on. Eddie still looked hot in his rocker attire and Terry made me laugh so hard. . .OMG

Watching Vicki made me sad. She was so overwhelmed, and I feel bad that maybe I wasn't there for her as much as I should have been. The emotions of going through a divorce and her daughter having surgery were too much for any woman to handle. I think when it comes to Vic she seems so strong all the time that you don't think she needs much help, but truth is I'm finding out she is much more sensitive then she seems. xoxo

Lunch with Heather was nice, I can't say enough wonderful things about her and Terry. Heather is a smart cookie and always gives me the best advice. I'm not sure what advice was better that day. . .push away the carbs or kill Slade with kindness?

I thought I would do my blog a little different this week. I am answering your questions about last night’s episode from my Facebook and Twitter.

Q. Tamra, loved the '80s themed party! Do you think Gretchen should have tried a little harder to persuade Slade to not involve you and the other housewives at Improv? Has this had an impact on your friendship today?
A. I'm not 100 percent convinced that she did not know he was going to use us in his act, after all me and Vicki were not invited for a reason. No, it really has not impacted our friendship in the long run. At first I was a little pissed off, but I got over it.

Q. I have two questions for you: 1. Would you ever get married again? 2. Given that you've been through a lot recently, divorce, etc., is there anything you would have done differently or would do differently in future (romance wise)?
A. Yes, I can't wait to be married again. Eddie is an amazing guy and I love him with all my heart. There are a lot of things I could have done different in my life, but you learn from your mistakes. One thing I will never do again is settle.

Q. Why did you allow Slade to come to your party?
A. The party was planned and the guys were invited prior to the Improv act. I was not even sure that Slade would show up to the party after what he did at the Improv.

Q. Do you really ever hang with any of the O.C. cast when not filming?
A. Yes, Some of us do hang out off camera. I have been good friends with Vicki for five years and we do a lot together. Heather, Gretchen, and I hang out and sometimes we allow the guys to tag along LOL.

Q. Why do you defend a man like Slade who called your good friend a pig?
A I have never defended Slade for what he did. I had a talk with Vicki in her kitchen and said "let's kill him with kindness" SO, I am trying my hardest to do just that. Being the bigger person is sometimes much harder.

Q. What do you think of Alexis' new nose?
A. I think it looks great. I think Alexis is a very pretty girl. I could see why she wanted it fixed. She had a rather large bump on her nose and it bugged her.

Q. How has your relationship with Eddie been since the incident at Catalina? I hope well. . .You guys are sooo cute together!
A. We are doing amazing, Every couple gets into arguments. It's how you recover that counts. He is so kind hearted and we talk every issue through without judging. That was the biggest argument we have ever been in, we usually don't ever fight.

Q. More of a statement but I hope you don't blame Gretchen for tonight's show SLADE put on.
A. I don't blame Gretchen for what came out of Slade's mouth at all. As you can see I called her to talk about it, I never blamed her.

Q. Does Eddie play a role in your kids lives or because of Simon and the new girlfriend does he not?
A. Yes Eddie is in my life and my kids ARE my life. We enjoying doing things as a family, however we took our time with the kids so they would feel comfortable.

Q. Is Simon a deadbeat like the other Housewives' men?
A. No, he is an amazing dad that loves his kids. We share 50/50 custody and have agreed to not get support for the other. I am not a believer of men having to take care of woman if they are capable of taking care of themselves. Of course if either of us need financial help we would be there for each other

Q. What is your favorite '80s song?
A. That is a hard one. . . so many! Def Leppard "Pour Some Sugar On Me" (1987), Madonna "Like a Virgin" (1984), Whitesnake "Here I Go Again" (1982), and The Go-Go's "Our Lips Are Sealed" (1981).

Q.Why do you think Alexis is so afraid of going under anesthesia to repair her "breathing issues" if she has had plastic surgery before?
A. Hmmm, well I think it is scary to go under regardless of what your doing. But most of all I think she is kind of a drama queen.

Q. Do you spray tan?
A. I have, but I don't like too. I feel like when your in your 40s a tan makes your skin look older. I do use Sally Hansen Salon Airbrush legs when I wear short dress. It is cheap and washes off in the shower.

Q. Can you develop a business designed for at home consultations with diets and exercise?
A. I am not qualified to do that just yet, but I am getting certified to teach various group fitness classes. I will be having free seminars at my fitness studio on diet and exercise. I will keep you posted.

Q. Are you and Slade on better terms now?
A. Yes, we went through years of nonsense. I did not just wake up one day and say "Let's rip on Slade." Vicki and I were both a punching bag for Slade for many years. It is a two way street and none of us were innocent.

Q. Still friends with Gretchen?
A. Yes, we have become really good friends.

Q. Do you plan to have any kids with Eddie???
A. Well, I am not to sure if I'm going to physically have more kids or if it's even possible. But we are open to adoption and surrogacy.

Q. What's your secret to a nice butt? You look great at the '80s party!
A. HAH, spandex! I have always had a booty for a small girl. I do lots of squats and lunges. I still have more jiggle than I want, but I am working on it.

Q. Tamra why was Slade there??
A. The million dollar question! I had invited all the men to surprise the woman prior to the Improv show. I was not going to un-invite Slade over a dumb improv act. Remember, I was trying something new. . .KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS!

Q. You seem so much happier this season. Making amends with Gretchen and taking the high road in the Slade situation was great to see!! Not to mention your new hot bod! Whats your secret?
A. I am in a new chapter of my life now. Eddie is such a positive role model and motivating person, I think, and he is rubbing off on me. I really do think your 40s are the best time of your life. I am more comfortable in my own skin and care less about what people think about me. I will always be a smart ass and will often come across as mean because I always go for the joke, I cant help my self.

Q. Where did you get the shirt you were wearing last episode, when you were out walking with Eddie?
A. Otomix.com

Q. How do you stay neutral between Vicki and Gretchen?
A. It was hard. I saw both sides of the argument and I knew that I had to keep out. As you know I am normally not one to keep my mouth shut, but I really didn't have a place in this argument. I had already talked to Gretchen about it and was planning on talking to Slade when the time was right. I don't want any more petty arguing in my life. It's toxic and I have moved on.

Q. Why did you betray Vicki by inviting Slade to your party? It seems like your desperately kissing Gretchen ass, and rolling Vicki under the bus! How could you do that to your friend?
A. I have gotten this question a lot. As you know the men were invited prior to the improv act. I am not kissing Gretchen's ass at all. Remember there is real life time and TV time. I do not feel like I have rolled over Vicki at all. I keep hearing Vicki saying things like "How could she do this to me?" and "Where is your loyalty?" Don't let "sound bites" persuade you into thinking something different is going on, actions speak louder than words. I have NOT done a thing to Vicki. The funny thing with TV is. . .if you hear me say over and over again "She hurt me. She hurt me." you will believe I hurt her even if you never saw a thing happen. Be smart!

Q. What did you have to do to get the boys to dressed up and keep it a secret from the other housewives???
A. I begged the guys to NOT tell the woman. I even volunteered to help them with their costumes since they didn't have their wives to help out. I am not sure if it was a total surprise, but I hope so. Not too many surprises left in this world.

Tamra Barney
www.tamra-barney.com

Lizzie on That Kentucky Fried Nickname

Lizzie weighs in on Tamra's nickname for her -- and opens up about her body issues.

We have finally made it to the Reunion and I am happy to say I survived my first season of Housewives. . .Well almost. Next week is Part 2 of the Reunion and I have to admit I pretty much left in tears. I am not a large part of this week’s reunion, but I would like to take this week’s blog and focus on female bullying and body image. As women, I think it is our job to build each other up. We are all mothers, sisters, and daughters. There are so many body image issues among young women and I write this blog for any woman who has had insecurities about her body. If it talks to any of you than it will not have been a waste of time.

I am sure everyone is aware of Tamra's nickname for me, "Kentucky Fried Titties." When I first heard her call me this I thought, "Nah, I won’t even give it energy."  It really is trashy and frankly low-class. However, it was a trigger for me and it really touched on something that I had been self conscious of for my entire life. It sounded exactly like the pre-pubescent boys in my middle school P.E. class. "Hey Lizzie, can I get some fries with that shake." The girls would snicker, "Lizzie's sprouting!!" I grew up hearing a lot of derogatory names targeted at my large chest. I was the girl in fourth and fifth grade that cried when friends had pool parties and wore T-shirts over my swimsuit to cover up my chest. My mom's friends would laugh and say, "One day you will love your assets." But I was always self-conscious.

I grew up dancing and cheerleading and finding uniforms and dance recital costumes was always such a struggle for me. I literally thought about quitting just because of my boobs -- I was so self-conscious and embarrassed. Thank goodness I have such a loving mother that made me feel so much more important than that and didn't let me walk away from something I loved because of body image issues. Even when I started competing in beauty pageants the swimsuit competition was a big thing for me to over come. Some mothers assumed my mom bought me implants at 15. My boobs have always been "up for discussion." At Miss Teen USA, I had to have a special seamstress come in and sew cups in my BodyGlove competition suit because I was bouncing all over when I walked. When I competed in Miss USA, I also had to call in a special seamstress to alter my competition bikini top so it fit my little back and large chest. And, as many of you naturally larger chested women know; real boobs do not "stay put." After I moved to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career I found myself victim to my large chest yet again. I would only be called in for "Hot Girl #2" and roles like that. How could anyone take me seriously with these 34DDD natural boobs at age 21? I had a college degree. I graduated top of my class, I was so much more than "Hot Girl #2", or so I thought.

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At age 23, I couldn’t take it anymore, I cried enough over being insecure about my body. It was time to do something about it. I talked to my mom and she took me for my first breast reduction. It was the best thing I ever did. I felt free! It felt so great to go swimsuit shopping and to buy dresses that I didn't have to wear a minimizing bra with! I can honestly say it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I am 5'7" and I always had boobs, so one thing I didn't want to do is get rid of them completely. I still wanted to feel like me and keep some of my natural curves. Perhaps going 34D wasn't small enough or maybe I just have incredible growing breast tissue. Whatever the case, my boobs were huge again six years later. I decided to have another breast reduction right before my wedding. I was the perfect size. Not too big and not too small. . .and then I had kids. So, now I have very large boobs again. I will probably get another reduction when I am done having children, but we want more kids so now is not the time. I guess God wants me to have big boobs! So, excuse me everyone for finally embracing my body.

I know some of you are probably thinking, "Oh poor Lizzie and her big boobs." But it was a real thing to me and I think as women we all struggle with insecurities. We have all struggled with body image issues at least one time in our lives. I have always been a big believer in beauty shining from within. Think about it. How many people do you know that have such beautiful personalities that it shines through and makes me them even more gorgeous human beings? How easy is it to overlook an attractive person who is mean and ugly inside? People start looking like their personalities sooner or later.

How does all this translate into adult female relationships? I think there are many similarities. I think it has a lot to do with self-esteem, acceptance, and respect for others.

I am sure there are tons of people that applaud Tamra for her name calling of me, or of Alexis when Tamra coined the term "Jesus Jugs." I see nothing more than a 47-year-old bully when I see Tamra. I see bullying. Tamra didn't just call me a name in a fit of anger. She made up the name and announced in her interview. Later, she announced on Watch What Happens Live. My question is why? Why is she so proud of this name? (Which, I have to be honest, I have heard before, it’s not even original.) What kind of message does this send to young women? I don't have girls, but I have nieces and I would never want to teach them to be "mean girls." This may seem trite, but I always felt sorry for the bully. Why do they act like that? It always seemed like bullies have a difficult time connecting with people in meaningful ways and thus use relationships for manipulation. Look, if we can put someone on TV and afford them fortune and fame for being a bully, we are exalting that poor behavior, and sadly we as a society give it life.

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