Cast Blog: #RHOC

We Are All to Blame

Tamra addresses the Gretchen/Slade situation, her relationship with Eddie, and her friendship style.

I am a week behind on my blog so here's a two-fer!

Last week's painting party was a lot of fun. I was not feeling very well, and after watching the episode, I'm wondering if chomping on that gum was making me feel better. . .because it made me nauseous just watching.

Heather did a great job putting together a fabulous party, and what an original idea. I was laughing so hard watching her call everyone. . . "What, What. . . painting party?" She really did put so much detail into planning the party all the way down to the carb-less meal. Thank you fancy pants.

I knew from the first night that Alexis laid eyes on Heather, there were going to be problems. I knew by her body language and the way she looked at Heather. Boy was I right!

Alexis seems to put down Heather ever chance she can. I have a feeling we will be seeing much more of this behavior from Alexis. Alexis is extremely materialistic and wishes she had everything Heather has. First thing that came out of her mouth at lunch was "I want that purse, I'm going to steal that purse."

After Alexis and Vicki started mocking Gretchen and I about becoming friends, we decided to lay it on thick -- throwing out the BFF word to shut them up. It was all in good fun and Vicki knew we were joking. Gretchen and I have worked very hard to patch things up, and if Vicki and Alexis have problems with it, oh well. I have room in my life for more than one BFF. I have never turned my back on Vicki or put Gretchen before my five-year friendship with Vicki. It made me sad when Vic wrote in her blog that I can only have one friend at a time, since it is the farthest thing from the truth. NEWS ALERT: I am great friends with Heather, Peggy, Lynne, and (I thought) Vicki.

It was the first time we all got to meet Terry, aka Dr. Look Good, (BTW. . .No that was not him at the lot in Newport). Dr. Terry Dubrow has a wonderful reputation around town and I remembered seeing him on the show The Swan. You will soon find that the dynamic between Heather and Terry is very entertaining and very loving. Terry jokes (like me) about 90 percent of the time, Heather is sensitive, has probably heard the same jokes for 13 years, and tends to roll her eyes a lot. They are so much fun to be around and so down to earth.

Gretchen meeting me at CJ's new store called X & OH. That turned out to be pretty entertaining and educational.CJ had just opened up her business and we wanted to show our support. There was nothing weird or kinky about it, just friends supporting friends. I am in the middle of opening up my own fitness studio and I know how much work is put into being a small business owner. I am very proud of you CJ!

I was so excited to see our dog Bronx in this week's episode. He has brought so much joy to our lives. Bronx is a pit bull and one of the sweetest and smartest dogs I have ever had. But he does tend to mark is territory much more than most!

My walk/talk with Eddie about moving in was a total surprise to me. It was really hard at the time to think a wonderful man like Eddie would want to take on me and my three kids full-time after 18 months of dating. Eddie is an amazing, kind-hearted man, and loves me unconditionally. But I don't think we were ready to move in just yet. When I have my kids, I stay at my house and Eddie never spends the night. When the kids are with dad, I stay at Eddie's, which means I have personal belongings all over the place. . .and there's a bit of confusion at times.

Slade's stand up brings mixed emotions for me since things with Gretchen are so much better this year. The battle between me, Gretchen, Slade, and Vicki has been going on for years and it is by far not one sided. I don't like the fact that Slade is acting like the victim, as if our "accusations" ruined his life. He is just as much to blame. His stand up is a perfect example of the things that have happened to put a wedge in our friendship through out the years. I am not condoning any of what has gone on between us. We were all to blame for this long and hurtful fight. We are all responsible for our own actions. I was just hoping that when me and Gretchen started patching things up that Slade would lay off a little. I guess it is going to take him some time to get to that point?

I actually felt sorry for Gretchen, you could see on her face that she was not happy that Slade went against her wishes. I know it caused a lot of problems between everyone. I'm sure it did with them too. The big questions is "Why weren't Vicki and I invited?' I think we all know the answer to that question! On the flipside, I know he was doing stand-up comedy and I have yet to see a comedian that isn't ripping on someone just to get a laugh. . .but I didn't hear much laughing going on that night! I think Slade's mom should have been on stage. She cracks me up.

One thing that I don't like is when men degrade woman about their looks. No one is perfect. So many woman are insecure and battle eating disorders and have plastic surgery because they have been put down by men. NO COOL!

At dinner Eddie understood and encouraged me to find my independence, financial freedom, and take the time it took to figure out what I wanted to do with my life next. We also decided to spend more family time together with the kids to get everyone ready for the next step.

Fitness was one of the things that helped me through my divorce. I have always worked out and used to be a trainer back in my younger days. But during my divorce I took it to another level. I started running. It was my time to get inside my head and reflect on what I was going through emotionally. Most days while running I would be crying my eyes out, not even acknowledging that I was on Mile 6. I was too busy sorting out my feelings to feel the pain in my legs. Before I knew it people were coming up to me and saying, "Wow you look great!" My love of working out has inspired me to open up my own group fitness studio. I want to encourage other men and woman to get fit from the inside out. I know that you can't run from your problems, but there are an emotional and physical benefits from trying.

If working out is not your thing (I bet it is if you give it a chance), then how about a glass of wine. Vicki and I are the first Housewives to come together and start a business that gives back to women. WinesbyWives.com is a celebrity wine of the month club that gives a percentage of our proceeds to charity for woman. Support my Breast Cancer charity by signing up for my wine choices.

Tamra Barney
www.tamra-barney.com

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Lizzie: Tamra Doesn't Fight Fair

Lizzie thinks Tamra's comments about her children were meant to deflect from her own problems.

Happy Labor Day!!! I am going to make this blog short and sweet. It’s a holiday and I am going to be spending the day with family in Newport wearing a Sun Kitten and a smile. I hope you all are having a great holiday weekend.

To be honest, the second half of the Reunion was hard to watch. I think it got too ugly. I am not going to insult any of your intelligence in explaining this episode. We all know that misery loves company, and "projection" is as easy to spot as a $2 dollar bill. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that everything miserable that comes out of Tamra's mouth is a direct reflection of what is going on in her life. In my opinion, children are off limits. It's quite apparent that Tamra does not fight fair and when all else fails she will throw your kids, marriage, and even your body under the bus in an attempt to hurt you. We filmed the reunion for over 10 hours and after listening to so much ugliness my heart just couldn't take it anymore.

I do not regret telling Shannon all the things that Tamra said about her. Everything I shared with Shannon was something that happened and was said on camera. I didn't take anything and create unnecessary drama. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I would think my friends would do the same for me. I simply did not know the truth about Tamra. Danielle told me all the things Tamra said about me. That is why after my birthday I was so hurt by her. It's hard for viewers to understand because these things weren't in the show. She could have called me and said she wasn't coming. I called her after sitting on the bus for over an hour. The next day she made fun of me to Danielle, in addition to asking plenty of questions looking for negative details regarding my party.

On that one-year free membership to Cut Fitness: Let's delve into this shall we? I was the one that contacted Tamra days after my party. She did not contact me to give me present. I had invited Tamra, Eddie, Danielle, Joe, Heather, and Terry to the Kentucky Derby and Tamra was the only person that had not sent in the RSVP. It was past the deadline and it was getting borderline rude at this point. Tamra, in fact, was making fun of the Kentucky Derby and the charity event that would be hosting us to Danielle. So, I reached out to Tamra regarding the Kentucky Derby and she texted me back saying, "I want to give you a free membership to CUT for your birthday." Tamra knows I am already a member to a sports club and that was the last I heard of this "free membership." I never received any kind of certificate or card for membership. I suppose she thought I would have the gall to show up and say, "I got a text message from Tamra for a free membership!" It's almost laughable. Needless to say, I don't go to her gym and she didn't attend the Kentucky Derby with me.

There is nothing else to say regarding the Shag, Marry, Kill game that I haven't already discussed in great length in any of my previous blogs. I said the word "marry" and that's that. Tamra even glared at me on the way out of the Valentine's Party and repeated it. "Marry you?" Tamra has said multiple times she couldn't even remember because she drank too much and there are even text messages where she says it too. Her story changes continually, like the words that come out both sides of her mouth.

During the Reunion, Tamra said many more hurtful things that you didn't see. She went on to talk about my son Preston and my marriage. We all remember the episode in the park where Preston hit me on the head with his elephant. He was asleep in the car and he had a mini temper tantrum. He was three -- it happens. I would assume most mothers have had it happen at some point. In addition, my husband and I got in a fight on my birthday. I feel awful about it, yet it made us closer. I just wanted what every woman wants -- to feel special because of her man. I am a big time believer in learning from your mistakes and that won't ever happen again. However none of those incidents had anything to do with Tamra. But on her quest to hurt everyone, she managed to drag in some irrelevant topics. I know it's all to deflect from what's going on in her life and to make someone else look bad. . .but it does hurt nonetheless. My babies and my marriage are my life so I guess her goal was to attack the things closest to my heart because she can't fight fair.

I hope you enjoyed this season and I hope you had a fabulous summer!!! The fall is my absolute favorite time of year, so I say bring on football and cooler weather.

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