That S--t Crayfish

Episode 2: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor ponders serving crawfish to Housewives, the meaning of cute, and how to properly deal with your friend's boob.

Welcome back California-lovers. I got you a Valentine's Day present. It's a chance to eavesdrop on the wonder that is Vicki's Cajun themed dinner party. So throw that sack of shrimp over your shoulder and sit down for a romantic meal!

A Trashbag of Fish
The first course of dinner party tension was served by Alexis and Peggy. Apparently, the whole "I used to date Jim" thing has not (crawfish) boiled over, and the two are still at odds about it -- at odds enough that they get into a broken-bone-off (Peggy's daughter vs. Alexis). They even snip about KetchupGate from San Antonio! I was worried the entire table

Course two of awkwardness was served by Heather, who apparently was displeased with her Parisian plane ride engagement (and Sarah's lack of solid engagement proof, i.e., a ring). Heather also committed the ultimate blast to Gretchen -- calling her cute. Pomeranians (Giggy) are cute. Handbags are cute. Adult women don't really adore being called such (as we'll delve into shortly). Heather's opinions are going to take this group a little bit to get used to, or perhaps just continue to serve up some drama throughout the season.

Meanwhile, Gretchen and Tamra continued to bond by eating a raw oyster together (at the very least that halves their chance of getting sick). Gretchen and Tamra also sat near each other, allowing them to make plenty of Frito jokes, much to Vicki's chagrin. However the hot and cheesy honeymoon barely lasts, since Tamra decides to call out Gretchen's plump lips in front of the whole table. Is this already the beginning of the end of these two. I just put their names together Gretmra? Tamen?

But all of that was quickly silenced when the food came to the table. I'll let Gretchen surmise this: "All of the sudden comes out a trash bag of fish." Now I am Cajun, myself, and have eaten my fair share of crustaceans. It's not perhaps the best serving situation to plop them onto the table in a bag, nor would I have picked such a messy food for this group of gals. That stuff gets under your nails, which I doubt this crew was into. Also the claws are sharp, which I feel is a terrifying thing to arm the 'Wives went.

Which is why I was particularly worried seeing Peggy try to confront Alexis in the limo. Have we learned nothing from the many unsuccessful back of the limo confrontations of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? It never works out. . .

And so, it looks like that might be the end of their friendship, and the end of Peggy and the ladies all together.

C-U-T-E
After being treated to a little more time with Mr. Dubrow and her precious, if not a little bad at making jokes husband Terry, we see that Heather's comments about Gretchen being cute did not go over too well. Slade thinks that it's because Heather is jealous since she's older than the young Ms. Rossi, while Gretchen's worried that it means Heather is pretentious. Could it possibly just mean Gretchen is cute? Maybe, but that seems like a stretch of an option. . .

No word on how "cute" Heather thought Gretchen was when a purse was all that stood between her and the censors. Personally, I thought she looked fierce, and I'll be practicing holding a grocery tote in front of my ta-tas until my handbag line is ready to go into production.

Breast Friends Forever
In another, less contentious limo, Vicki and Brooks are reading love notes on the road to Catalina (while Tamra looks on).Tamra and Eddie share their love not through letters, but through grooming. Yes, Tamra just travels with a nose hair trimmer, which means she's ever-ready to handle this issue on the road.

Less easily to nip was the BreastGate. After discussing how Vicki and Brooks are "celibate together" Eddie and Vicki shared a little bit of a moment. Not to be outdone, Tamra just grabbed Brooks hand and made some memories on her chest. This wasn't really Eddie's favorite part of the evening. . .

Next week we found out the fallout Brooks getting fresh and the ladies get arty (and maybe a little b---hy). I'll be eating from my bag of crawfish in anticipation until then.

 

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