The First 'Wives Club

Episode 5:'s Associate Web Editor ponders Robert Palmer, hair crimping, nose jobs, and mortal enemies.

Mar 5, 2012

We return to Orange County -- the land of comedy and long standing rivalries. Not to get all Carrie Bradshaw on you, but this episode really got me thinking. . . can people ever really make amends and move past the past? Or will there always be a man with a Flock of Seagulls haircut there to bring up all that's wrong?

Laugh Back Track
Divine inspiration strikes and the most incredible of times. For Slade, the clouds have parted and he has firmly decided that stand-up comedy is his destiny. While that message from the mountain-top is sitting fine with him, and he can relish in the fact that the struggle and stress of his life just fall away when he's out there yukking it up, Gretchen is feeling less ordained. She's having to clean up the mess his comedy makes (much like Gallagher's conquests had to clean up the watermelons from his act). She knows it's only a matter of time before the jokes get back to Tamra and Vicki and the reviews roll in.

Speaking of catching wind, Heather and Tamra are having lunch by some boats and discussing Tamra's upcoming bunco party. I do wonder why the party needs two themes (dice games and funny outfits), but how could I ever turn down an '80s theme. This party is going to be next level, beyond wigs and naked wasted! Besides crimped hair and sweat bands, this party will also have Alexis, who Tamra is inviting her as a show of good faith to Gretchen.

Over lunch Alexis (who's nose we're going to get into momentarily) tells Gretchen that she should to tell Tamra what happened at the comedy club before she hears it from someone else. Seems like it might already be too late for that. . .

Buy a Nose
Meanwhile, Alexis is having a consultation about her nose. She's had some airway issues, so while she's in there she'd love to handle some cosmetic issues as well. That's all well and good, except Alexis is a little stressed lot of stressed about coming out of the anesthesia. Even though Alexis has had her boobs done, this is more stressful because it's under her face (truth). You can't wear shirts over your face if something goes wrong (that's my theory) I was shocked to see Alexis so upset about it because her life is going to be so much easier post-op. You won't be snorting in coffee shops, you'll actually be smelling the roast as it's prepared. And don't be mad that Gretchen is trying to check her passage ways as well. She just wants to breathe correctly and beautifully, too.