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The First 'Wives Club

Some Serious Jerry Springer S--t

Episode 1: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor ponders bottoms shaped like fruit, friendships, and crawfish.

Feb 7, 2012

The Banana Boat
It's nearly impossible for me to pick my favorite moments from Alexis' foray into live television. First, I adore that Alexis thought she could will a sleeping Jim into answering the phone by air kissing it. It's delightful that Alexis' alarm clock indiscretion resulted in a hooky day for the kids, so good for them. No school lunches or whisper games! Just a day of fun!

But then we get to the real fun -- Dr. Booty. Is he officially a doctor? Who knows, but he is at least qualified to teach you how to qualify your badonk as a fruit. Are you a cherry bottom, pear, banana, apple, lemon? My first question was does a banana bottom peel? My second question was is it possible that my butt is a star fruit? 

As Alexis "fired" during her banana exercise and discussed her career as budding "Katie Keurig," I smiled knowing that we'll have a season's worth of these exploits. Here's to hoping National Booty Awareness Month comes 12 times a year. 

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Is anyone as shocked as I am to hear that Don wants spousal support? Really? Grow some balls Don, be a MAN and walk away!

Why is Tamra so afraid of Vicki? First she's afraid of Simon, now she's afraid of Vicki. What's with you, Tamra? Is Vicki controlling you now? Get your head out of it and live your own life. You're afraid to make Vicki upset? Why would Vicki be upset that you're talking to Gretchen anyway? You're behaving like Vicki is your lesbian lover or something.

I cannot believe that I am writing this... Alexis B. is the most entertaining. The amount of time she discussed with her age appropriate assistant the orange juice to ice in water ratio and lined the counter over and over with snack bars spoke volumes to me. As a "real housewife" in a gated community myself I know that this is major work. I am sure Jim's toys make her happy but he is no "juicy joe" for sure. Tamra appeared scripted but not rehearsed, those five hour sex sessions surely must be cutting into her day. Time is money people. Vicki's cajun party was missing one Cajun speaking Manzo to "as pane" the food items. I once dated a redneck who hunted so my next party I might be serving raccoon with a side of colt 45. Oh the ideas!

Don deserves something for putting up with Vickie. He should walk away and let her figure out how to keep the house up---she never mentioned money being tight last season. Maybe her new boyfriend could chip in when he comes to town.

Don has prostate cancer, and he supported her so she could be successful in her career. I'm cutting the guy some slack. After all, she left him - not the other way around.

Heather acts like she has never heard of any of the other ladies. Don't tell me she signed on to do a show (in the 7th season) and has never seen it? Maybe we have seen a little "acting" on her part already.

Okay, here we go again with Tamra being jealous of Vicki now over Tamra's boyfriend. So Tamra goes all trailer park and puts Brooks' hand on her breast. I don't know which one is worse, Vicki or Tamra. They both have to have constant attention. I'm just sick of both these "ladies". Where is Jeana Keough when we need her?

Why isn't Peggy a regular housewife this season??!! I thought she was awesome last year and I will be so dissapointed if she is not on weekly now!

Tamra isn't "really" afraid of Vicki. I think it's the tongue lashings that come out of Vicki's mouth that the girls back away from. They all know that Vicki can and will go off on them on camera. She's very quick to judge and she will snap a head off without any warning! So physically afraid...no. They just do not want to be on the other end of a tongue lashing by Vicki. LOL!

Is Heather replacing Peggy? What happen with Peggy??

To begin, not the first brunette. Lynn was brunette as was Jeana....figured that was why they got rid of them! Hope Gretchen and Tamara do stay friends but have my doubts because I'm not sure Tamara is able to maintain a friendship with any female...other than Vicki and that is only because Vicki is older and Tamara doesn't think Vicki will take away from her "hotness". I also think Vicki and Tamara have a little romance going on with each other! I don't know why these women think making hateful remarks is entertaining! Hopefully this season they can stop trying to put each other down and start talking about just themselves when they do "camera time". Remember the saying "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all".

Why is Vicki smashing pillows? I was always taught to fluff!

First everyone if the roles were reversed and Don was making bank then NOONE would bat an eye at Vicki getting spousal support. So why so upset for Don. He was used to living in that lifestyle. According to California Law she needs to ante up. If she didnt like the rules than dont play the game, stay married. Divorce is not easy but the plain truth is that assets are split no matter who bought them. Not agreeing with the law just saying it is what it is....

On one hand, I think it is terrible that Donn wants spousal support. He has a job, they have no kids, let him take care of himself. After all he is supposed to be "The Man". He just wants to have everything and leave her nothing after she has worked so hard to get her business going.

On the other hand, why is it so awful for him to want spousal support, women do it to me all the time. Whats good for one is good for the other right? Women want to be independant and have equal rights. Well, there you go, its your right to pay spousal support just like men do.

Obviously, I can't make a definitive decision here which side I am on, but this I do know for sure. If Vicki is so successful financially, why cant she afford to keep her house without Donn? Oh thats right, livng above her means. Then again, dont they all, dont we all. I have watched this show from the beginning and Vicki is and will always be my favorite. I have seen her work hard to be successful and she has done wonderful. However, this will be my last season watching it if the entire episodes are spent watching grown women older then me fighting and screaming at eachother. If I want that kind of drama, I will drive to the local schools where the teenagers are doing it. I am hoping to see more of partys, vacations, evenings out, you know the things that REAL people do. I enjoyed it when they wold go to Havasue, that looked like a lot of fun. THATS what I want to see again, fun in the sun.

So Gretchen has no blog, I'm assuming she either doesn't give a crap, or she's busy plotting her next move against the new girl. On the previews she had her usual SNEER, making a dig about Heather, ' really? cause I've never seen you, ever'. And if I have to watch that tool Slade bootlicking to stay on the show, I'm tuning out! OC was the first housewives show, and I've watched from the beginning, but those two give me a royal pain. Tamra is going to get burned by Gretchen, wait and see. Her insecurity runs deep, and her claiming to have a background in psych, obviously she didn't learn much....

I live in UK and we havent even started with the new series yet, but reading the blogs and comments here I can get a 'feeling' of what is to come. I have to say, it seems everyone is judging Donn one way or another. Has everyone forgotten how when Vicki was 'working hard' as she kept telling anyone who would listen (did she expect some sort of medal for running her own business and earning her money?) Donn was holding his marriage together all on his own. How many guys would put up with being treated by their wives like he was treated, the Wife telling him he wasnt allowed to go on trips or 'get togethers', how many times did we see Vicki hanging off some poor unsuspecting guys neck as she played for the camera and Donn was left behind at home. I think Donn deserves a decent payout for Vicki's behaviour and the way she treated him during their marriage. Go Donn, dont go quietly, get what you deserve, tell the judge to watch the previous series's and then make his ruling!!! Oh and as for Tamra, a leopard never changes his spots, it wont be long before she is running her mouth again, this 'scared of Vicki' rubbish is to milk everyones sympathies.

Where's Gretchen's blog???

Who is telling the truth? Your blog states due to Alexis forgetting to set Jim's alarm clock allowed the kids to play hooky from school. Alexis' blog states just the opposite, lol!!! She said Jim actually woke up, kids got to school on time, and she worried for nothing that morning...

If it were a wife requesting spousal support, there wouldn't be one eyebrow raised. Just because it's a man who is entitled, he is being made to look like a louse for pursuing that to which he is entitled. I think that the spouse who has the greater income should be made to maintain the other spouse in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed. GET YOURS DON! LOL!

My favorite part of the premiere was Alexis and Gretchen. I love those girls, they just seem so sweet. Alexis getting ready for her Friday morning show, catching up with Gretchen. Good stuff. I won't lie, I was disappointed to see Tamra back - she's low class, mean, and annoying. Get rid of Tamra and bring back Jeanna!

Why are there no RJOC episodes to stream?! What is this crap! Get it together BRAVO!