The First 'Wives Club

Episode 7:'s Associate Editor scrubs in to assess all the surgeries on this week's episode and ponders what really is "so Heather."

Mar 20, 2012

Don’t get it twisted O.C. fans. You were in fact watching an episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County – not an episode of ER. So if you could handle all that surgical drama, the site of mucus plugs coming out of Alexis' nose, and the thought of Tamra losing her large breasts, you can handle this recap.

The Doctor Will See All of You Now

We open with Tamra debating changing her life -- this time by having her breast implants removed. Tamra wants to get back to nature, and use her mind as her source of power -- not her faux breasts. Only in Orange County would implant removal be such a significant metaphor for change. Third boob set, third boyfriend, third time's a charm!

In a more advanced level of surgical endeavor, Alexis is finally going under for her sinus/nasal surgery. And I have to say, if anyone thought Alexis was just crying sinusitis, the site of the doctor pulling hunks of phlegm or boogers or whatever that was should have stopped that. I hope you weren't eating during that vignette, because frankly I almost stopped breathing out of disgust. Yuck!

Finally we swing over to Vicki, who is greeting Michael who has come to visit Briana. The surgery was tough and the doctors are not happy with what they've found. Briana has been suffering, and her lymph nodes were in bad shape. The doctor says he wouldn't be surprised if the tests do come back cancerous. Fingers crossed that's not the case.