The First 'Wives Club's Editor discusses Vicki's car games and Alexis' "intervention."

on May 29, 2012

A Is for Anus
The next morning over egg whites (egg whites, no yellow), the gang fills their canteens with "jungle juice" and heads out for the zipline.

As the camouflage canteens are passed, Vicki starts the Alphabet Game (I rarely used the world "dildo" when I last played, but I was also about nine). Then the traditional pre-zipline hair braiding commences, which I think is done to calm nerves? Heather and Gretchen are a little nervous. . and then Alexis is super nervous. After a quick shove things progress nicely. Vicki is feeling especially invigorated, and begins to recount her high school days, in which she was popular, perfect, and pondering marriage to Bob Tomato (Vicki Tomato! What a different show this could have been!). This leads her to think about Briana's own nuptials and maybe sends Vicki down a bit of a rabbit hole of anxiety. Vicki attempts to stave off that angst with another car game -- leading Gretchen to admit that she’s going to bring apples, bananas, and a gun to the next imaginary picnic. (Sounds like a good picnic supply list to me.) After penis makes it to the packing list, the hypocrite accusations fly and with Tamra using Gretchen's retort to shut Vicki down. . . .So much for a fun day at the zipline.

If anything all of this caterwauling resulted in some really iconic Vicki faces so we have that to revel in.

If the Shoe Fits
Once the ladies have removed their official zip lining trash bags, they gather for two respective pre-dinner tete-a-tetes. Alexis discusses the underlying tension of the day with Gretchen, while Heather and Tamra discuss eye wash and just how they are going to break this phony news to Alexis.

Pause, Spanish lesson: Claro que sí means "of course." The restaurant is called Claro Que Seafood. Extrapolate if you can.