Vicki Gunvalson

Vicki explains her reaction to Briana's "bomb" and how she feels about the wedding now.

on May 3, 20120

This is not typical of Briana in any way, shape, or form, and I was worried that she may have just been vulnerable due to the health issues she had been dealing with for the past two years. I didn't tell any of my family members or my friends because I didn't even know how to begin to discuss it, and, quite frankly, I was embarrassed. All of my dreams for my only daughter's BIG DAY were taken away from me in an instant (and for that matter taken away from HER). More importantly, the family had not met him or his family. I knew very little about Ryan and now I had an instant son-in-law.

The days, weeks, and months that followed this October 2011 were very difficult for Briana and I. She justified what she did, said it wasn't impulsive, that they were happy, and that they didn't have any regrets. She told me that after her thyroid removal surgery, a scare with cancer, and Ryan's experience being at war, they both decided life was too short and this was the right thing for them. Ryan confirmed to me that he loved Briana and that they needed and wanted my support and didn't mean to hurt me or her family.

After a lot of prayer and soul searching I was able to look at the big picture and not be angry anymore. What's interesting is that when I asked God to completely heal Briana while she was in surgery, I also asked for her to be happy and to one day be in love again (as I knew she was worried about that). I had no idea that two weeks later God would answer those prayers with her getting married and not to have cancer. My new motto is: Be careful what you wish for.

Fast forward to January 2012 of this year, Brooks and I took Briana and Ryan to my condo in Puerto Vallarta and we had an amazing time. Since then, we have spent many double date nights together and the "new additions to my family" are blending together slowly, but surely. It's interesting that Brooks is from Mississippi and Ryan is from North Carolina. I guess Briana is attracted to the "southern charm" the way I am. Like mother, like daughter.

112 comments
delphine bloodworth
delphine bloodworth

WE AS KIDS HAVE TO DO US THAT THE ONLY WAY WE GET IT YOU CAN NOT KEEP US FROM EVERTHING OK SHE BE FIND IF THE HEART IS IN IT THAT MAKE IT OK LOVE DELPHINE

Strngrthninu
Strngrthninu

Vicky, I believe anyone who tells you to just get over the fact that your daughter chose not to include the mother who has loved her every moment of her life in her wedding day have no idea how strong a mothers love is. My son ran away and got married in Vegas without telling anyone. He and his new bride came home and told me expecting me to embrace them and tell them how wonderful the news was. My heart broke into a million pieces. Where and how someone gets married is their decision but not even telling the people who love them is beyond selfish. Like you I have had to move on but honestly the feeling of being cheated out of watching my son get married will forever leave a part of my heart broken. Sorry to go on so long but just wanted you to know I understand the pain and tears.. Your daughter will understand your pain one day when she becomes a mother.. Good luck to you and god bless....

MissMisty
MissMisty

Congrats for your Daughter and new hubby and the baby... looks like afterall you will be called Grandma. LOL

Now on to last nights show.

I know what the bloggers are talking about. My gosh women, it's always about you, do you ever watch yourself??

About Brianna, sometimes she's the voice of reason, not you. Then you go on to explain... she robbed me...she robbed me for not having a grand stand wedding. blah blah blah

I don't get you.. you're all about yourself and a hypocrite. Honey, do the math and own it. Your (man) know one knows anything about him yet he's sticking his nose in your friends and families and especially your, your back story..

It's embarrassing about his going on and on with the catrds and etc... and I felt sorry for your Son and Daughter.

I hope you know what you're doing with him. You've got the money to hire and PI and do a little checking.

big red
big red

Vicky, your daughter Briana has been to hell and back with her sickness. Thank God she is fine now. Be happy for her an know that she married Ryan, the man she loves, the way she wanted to. Her marriage is not about you, but the happiness of both Briana and Ryan. And your relationship with Brooks is not the same as Briana and Ryan. How can a man claim to love your son like his own when he just met him. Love and respect can grow fast, but not in 10 minutes. IF Brooks "loves" your son, like his own, I would question how deep his love goes. I'm not a big fan of yours only because everything has to be about you. However I don't wish ill on you either. Please be careful with Brooks. I know, I had to learn the hard way.

joiseyviewer
joiseyviewer

What is wrong with you, Vicky??? BE HAPPY for your daughter! You have not bewen a good role model for her at all..and your "relationship" with Brooks IS weird. You're not even divorced yet...and you're going out with him for 6 months already?? Brianna has been through SO much; let her be happy with Ryan. He seems so nice, and they have known each other LONGER than you and Brooks have!!!

Support your daughter and her new husband..don't make fun of her "drive thru wedding"...it's what THEY wanted to do...they are not YOUNG KIDS!! She still wants to have the big wedding, so you WILL get to do that for her. She just did it in a 'round about way'...LOL. Think of someone OTHER than yourself!!

And, what's with Brooks?? He talks like he is your children's FATHER; that he loves them, blah, blah, blah! Watch your back, Vicky...you need to find out more about Brooks before this goes any further!!! Sometimes you're not the "brightest bulb" around!!

Jojospence
Jojospence

VICK!! I have to say that you have done a great job at keep strong through all of these transitions going on in life. Kudos to you for doing a great job of raising such great kids. NOW, I have to just cut to it.. Everyone deserves to be happy and with the person they want to potentially spend their life with.. Vicki I strongly believe that you are extremely vulnerable right now with all of these life changes.. The divorce, the house you have to sell, your daughters health, etc. Brooks knows that you do very well for yourself and his greed is written all over his face! If you were my mother I would definitely have a hard time with him being in the picture. He comes on way to strong and says things that are nice but really have no meaning. How can he say he has things in common with your son when he has never met him? Can we say RED FLAG!? He is so full of crap! Seriously Vick I hope by the time this season is over that you have moved past Brooks. Your son and daughter are right this time.. You can do much much better then Brooks! You Are a strong willed woman and have worked hard for EVERYTHING you have. You deserve someone on your level! I apologize for sounding negative but believe it or not; as your fan, I just love ya and want the best for you.

Viewer Lynne E.
Viewer Lynne E.

Vicky, I don't know if you read the posts here or not, as I am sure your very busy, but please take some of your own advice and do a back ground check on Brook's, I am with Tamera there's just something about him, If he is just nervous about being on TV and saying what he thinks people want to hear that's one thing, try and get him to calm down and be true to himself, but I am from the south and that doesn't make me polite, (my Momma did that) Just be careful remember when you told Gretchen to make sure her money was safe, I would hate to see you have to go through another heart break. well enough said, Briana is a wonderful woman, and Ryan seams to be a nice gentleman, Best wishes to them! and I do hope to see a beautiful wedding in the near future!

sdgirl29
sdgirl29

Vickie, I just wanted to say first of all how great you looked at the wine by wives party! I just wanted to tell you how taken aback i was by your childrens's reactions to meeting Brooks for the first time, especially Briana! I could understand if they were much younger and if you and Brooks had just begun dating, but its been 6mos! I would think at their age, they should've been more supportive and understanding of your decision and be happy that you have finally found someone who makes you happy. As children we really don't understand what happens behind closed doors between our parents but as we grow up it becomes harder for our parents to hide their problems from us. I find it very odd how Briana and Mike seemed so shocked by the divorce and how rude they were to Brooks. My parents divorced when I was 10 and within months my mom had a new man living with us and was married that same year, and neither myself, nor my sister or brother behaved that way. We weren't happy about it, but we accepted it and went on with our lives. Anyway, I'm glad to hear that everything is working and I hope it continues! Keep being you! You are my fav rhoc and have been since season 1!

Pvmom
Pvmom

Vicky, I too have a beautiful, smart and caring daughter, her name is also Brianna. It does not seem as if you were listening to Brianna's words or understanding where she was coming from emotionally when she made her decision to get married. Both she and her new husband both faced the potential of an early death, which made them want to live life to its fullest together. She is not depriving you of anything. She has taken your feelings into account by planning a second family wedding. But you have seemed to have taken this opportunity to get back at her by choosing this time to introduce her to your new boyfriend. Great timing Vicky!

Cherline
Cherline

Happy for your daughter! Not a fan of Brooks at all, can't wait to see how this plays out. Everyone else can see through his BS talk, why can't you!

Wife and mom
Wife and mom

I too, am very happy to hear you have worked things out with Briana. She is an adult and it is really about her happiness.

courtney_1974
courtney_1974

I hope there is more to your boyfriend than what they show on television. I agree with Tamara, he is weird. Get out now!!!

wareislarine
wareislarine

congrats briana and ryan, understand and applaud you on the way you handled this.

Kymee
Kymee

Your so right Vicki Iam 36 and I would have never eloped with out telling my bestfriend and woman that raised me my mom!!!

OPEN
OPEN

Vicki OPEN YOUR EYES!!!!!!

Bookes what's your MONEY HONEY!!!!!

snowman32
snowman32

Its ALL about you Vicki.... enough. Be happy for your daughter.

SassyMom
SassyMom

True, heart felt apologies do not come with conditions. Your apology to Gretchen should have been just that, period. No expectations of her whatsoever. Once again, we see a selfish Vicki ...

Covington Mom
Covington Mom

Geez, for someone who has traveled as much as you do your comment about Brooks being from the South and never seeing a burlesque show cracks me up. Ever hear of the "Sin City City of the South" -- New Orleans? A walk down Bourbon Street and you'll see plenty to make you blush.

reginahrt
reginahrt

CONGRATULATIONS!! Brianna and Ryan!!! You did the right thing. Keep Vicki out of your buisness and you will continue to be Happy. Its YOUR LIFE Brianna. You live it your way. God Bless you Sweety!!!!!

ellen99
ellen99

Congrats to Brianna and Ryan on their marriage! SHe is such a great, level-headed girl! Be happy for her and know that she is old enough to make her own decisions. She obviously know you al too well and knew that you would make HER special day all about YOU. I am so glad she got to do it her way. You can now enjoy another day of celebration at her upcoming ceremony for family and friends.

Nkem
Nkem

So HAPPY for Brianna!!! She deserves so many positive and happy things in her life! Ryan seems like a very responsible, kind-hearted man! Vicki, just be happy-let Brianna fly....You as her mother helped her all these years with maturing her wings,NOW, let her fly. She is a beautiful person inside and out! I hope and pray the best for you and Brooks. He seems like a geniune man, I pray he is. Many blessings to you, Vicki.

carmencromartie
carmencromartie

I'm not necessarily a fan of yours, but Tamara is not your friend. I think she got in between you and Jenna. Her loyalty is not there. I many not be your biggest fan, but she say's shes your friend. If that's how my friends talk about me, I don't need any enemies. Call Jeann.

So Cal Livin'
So Cal Livin'

Vicki, Unfortunately what we dream for our children don't always agree with what our children dream for themselves. Sometimes, you have to roll with the punches. I understand you feel/felt disappointed, but this truly wasn't/isn't about you. This is a decision your adult daughter made. Sometimes (especially as mothers)we see things that our children don't see because we have lived, loved, and lost more than they have (and we hope & pray they never repeat our disappointments). As much as it sticks, we have to suck it up, grin and bear it, and all those other uninspiring sayings. I am happy they decided to compromise and ARE having the celebration you had hoped for, but keep in mind that sometimes all we mothers can do is smile outwardly, and pray it all works out in the end! Best of luck!

Irvinegirl
Irvinegirl

Wow, shoe's on the other foot isn't it? Gretchen constantly told you if you had a problem with Slade, take it up with him. You dismissed that. Now you're asking her to do the same thing for Brooks. Can't have it both ways Vicky.

Eryn
Eryn

If your daughter is happy, you should be happy...end of story! No need for all the dramatics!

Gracie's Mom
Gracie's Mom

Anyone who doesn't understand how or why you are upset about Brianna eloping in Las Vegas at a drive-thru window doesn't have a daughter. If my daughter did that it would absolutely break my heart.

Hope you enjoy the "formal" wedding and that it is everything Briana has ever wished for!

former_fan
former_fan

You truly seem to pride yourself on your maturity. I wish that you'd put a little more thought into things before deeming yourself the "mature one" or the "bigger person" and then patting yourself on the back. Apologizing (very necessary, on your part) to Gretchen = good. Demanding an immediate apology in return and then complaining about the quality of said apology is absolutely childish, not to mention the fact that it negates any sincerity that your apology might have held. Expressing regret about your past transgressions has NOTHING to do with expectations of the other person involved responding in kind.

That behaviour was childish and manipulative. It had nothing to do with kindness or sincerity. You've made numerous references to being kind in an effort to confuse them (implying they're stupid) or killing them with kindness. Don't fool yourself for one second. That apology was all about childish manipulation. I was so impressed for about three seconds, after which your true colors came bursting forth once more.

Robin
Robin

What mother *wouldn't* be devastated when her only daughter tells her that she has eloped? A mother dreams about that day too, and sharing the experience with her child. A part of that experience is the communication between mother/daughter about the whole falling in love issue before the marriage takes place.

This would be difficult for any parent who is close to their daughter.(((hugs)))

BufMom
BufMom

Vicki, It's not all about you! Your daughter is a grown woman and very capable of making her own choices without your constant approval. Please stop saying you did not go after Slade, we all saw it on the show, admit you were wrong for more than one fight and move on. Vicki is a small part of this world, as soon as you realize life does not revolve around you, you'll be a better person.

Susanin AZ
Susanin AZ

Brina met a nice guy, why are you upset its about her not you!

Eve7
Eve7

Dear Vicki, an early Happy Mother's Day to you!

When I saw the episode with Brianna dropping the marriage 'bomb' on you my jaw dropped to the floor right along with you! Tears would have filled a river if my daughter married at a drive through in vegas without telling me. Brianna is a beautiful lady as I am sure you are aware. Brianna and Ryan decided to go for it is demonstrating young love in action. After what both of them have endured it is understandable why they would be spontaneous. I am looking forward to viewing their wedding ceremony. Congratulations to all of you,

Eve

xraymomma
xraymomma

just read the news that brianna is pregnant. congratulations! put a smile on your face and be happy for them. fake it til you make it, babe...

Viewer991
Viewer991

Vicki, there seems to be some disagreement over how you handled the news, and I have to say I'm on your side. I don't think you really made things "about you." You seem to have some issues with being appropriate, but other than that you are just reacting authentically. If I had a daughter who did that I would be really disappointed because I would feel like I failed my child. Some people are saying that she rebelled because you're a "control freak" which is kind of mean to say. You are a bit clingy but what she did was still much worse than anything you have done as a parent. It makes sense that you only wanted what's best for her which is a slow, thoughtful decision with lots of planning. And honestly, the fact that you have to pay for and plan the wedding without any input is rather ridiculous...you're not the selfish one in that case. You were justified for sure, but you still need to move on, which I'm glad you did.

As for Gretchen, you shouldn't have been so snippy about an apology but Slade stirs the pot a lot. I think they wanted you to admit you were a hypocrite because you still don't. You don't seem to get the definition - a hypocrite tells others not to do something they do. You are a hypocrite to tell Gretchen not to date Slade and date Brooks. You two were both immature and just need to let go of this sensitive subject. No "your turn to apologize" talk anymore.

I really didn't like you a few seasons ago, but now that you're happier and more renewed I have slowly come to like you. Donn was a pretty good dad compared to your 1st husband, but not nice to you - no one deserves to be called a b--ch by their husband. Of all the people on the show, you seem the most remorseful of past mistakes and mature. You are real! I like that you're a logical decision maker and a smart, sharp woman (how else would you be so rich?) and you are the ONLY one of the group who is the primary breadwinner. Keep soul searching and don't find fault with others. Just put all that foolishness behind you and live well.

JanicePrado
JanicePrado

I totally understand and support Briana's decision to get married the way she did. You tend to be a bit overwhelming just watching you and Briana seems more of a laid back person. You shouldn't be worried about how "your family and friends" feel about HER decision. You should be happy for her. It's not about you or your family and friends. Get over yourself. I have to wonder if you ever watch yourself and your behavior towards other people. There is no way a woman as intelligent as yourself could justify your total lack of respect for the people around you.

Allrealtor
Allrealtor

Vicki, I watched this episode and it looked exactly like a dinner I had with my mom years ago. I was 19 and met my soul mate! After ONLY five weeks of dating he asked me to marry him in front of my mother at a dinner. Her shock and reaction was very similar to yours. We did elope a couple of months later in a private ceremony by a guy wearing a horrible blue polyester suit (with ruffles)! We didn't tell my mom for many years about our secret wedding. I am happy to say that was over 18 very happy years ago! Just like Brianna my husband was in the military an it does make you see that you are not guaranteed tomorrow! It took my mom awhile to understand our love,and as I am sure you will too, she sees that i did make the right decision, just as Brianna has! I wish them all the best!

Ranah
Ranah

Vicki, I can understand your disappointment in being left out of one of the most important moments in your daughter's life. However, I think you are in deep denial when it comes to your daughter. She desires for you to butt out of her life and give her the space she requires. Don't blame Ryan, blame Brianna. She's a big girl and knows exactly what she's doing. Anyway, Ryan is a cutie and he looks like a decent guy. I'm happy for your daughter you should be too.

blm
blm

The comment below about if you keep telling alexis she does well with the news.they stated she would start believing it.first of all she was better in the last show with the coach giving her pointers.my husband does not even watch oc.he did say that clip with lexie was much better than the singing gretchen did.for the few parts he has watched this season.you and alexis are by far the most normal.if there were clips on oc like the funny ones. the show would be alittle lighter it would be great.tamra and gretchen are bullying and heather name calls.terry is already talking crap on lex.you and lex have the best men.i never here them dog the other women on the show.eddie never does either.you to make oc worth watching.i luv the glamping trip where lex wraps the scarf around you and you guys are being silly.and luv her and jim in the hotel with the makeup issue going on in veges.i laughed so hard.and lex saying drive the bus.so cute.bravo print for vicki.

104laf
104laf

I would've reacted the SAME EXACT WAY as you did if my daughter had sprung a MARRIAGE on me like that! However, Brianna did things her way, so kudo's to her.

Your children will make their own path...mistakes and all! We can't chose how they should live their lives.

I'm glad you're happy with all of it now!

xoxo

Aloha808
Aloha808

!!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO BRIANNA & RYAN !!!!

Vicki, your daughter deserves happiness so please rejoice! Even though you didnt like how she did things, don't let your shocked feelings mar her joy in marraige. Brianna probably just didn't want to wait several months through all the tedious wedding planning WHICH WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! Maybe what she wanted was a marraige more than she wanted a big ceremonious wedding?

Your daughter seems very nice, down to earth and headed in the right direction. She has already proven to be a very responsible mature person, so you should have more faith in her, and in her choice of husband. I'm sure in time, you will totally adore your new son-in-law Ryan!

Indy Mom
Indy Mom

Hi Vicki, I see your point about Brianna getting married in a drive-thru to a guy you only met once. I mean we all want our children to marry people we like, we feel comfortable with, and know their backgrounds, and perhaps met the In-laws at least once. With Brianna being your only daughter I'm sure you would have liked to give her a proper wedding. But Brianna just got a hard lesson that life can be really short and she decided to do something spontaneous. What I think is that she jumped in too soon to a marriage and will get a divorce down the road. I hope that does not happen and I wish them the best, but they have never spent months in each other's company and likely don't really know each other. Sorry to be the negative downer here, and I really do wish all of you and yours the best.

Jamie509
Jamie509

Vickie I liked you in previous seasons but I don't like Brooks or the way you've been acting about him this season! I really like Brianna and think she should become the newest housewife!!

OMG12
OMG12

NOT THAT BRAVO WILL POST THIS BECAUSE THEN NEVER POST ANYTHING I COMMENT ON...none the less to DA Big Guy.....I disagree with you....when your child gets married/elopes at least AS A PARENT you KNOW this person but when you have met them only a couple times it WOULD AND SHOULD give ANY GOOD PARENT cause to be concerned! IMHO and I would feel that way with my children or grand children!

Now....As far as your apology it was a good thing, asking for an apology back was not so good. You are still evolving into a happy place in your life and weather Gretchen apologizes or not you did the RIGHT thing....she on the other hand is showing her true colors! Let it lay the more she talks the less respect and support she gets from intelligent people. As far as Tamra goes let her lay as well, her true colors have been shining for a long time and she is not a good friend to anyone...as she said during her WWHL segment....you and she are business partners...she has fun with Gretchen.....her concerns about Brooks are only pay back for you "interfering" between her and Simon! I wonder if she even remembers placing you in the middle?? Please be advised to seperate business from pleasure because she IS NOT your friend. This was an excellent blog....please remember to comment less about Gretchen, Slade and Tamra and the better you will be recieved. Otherwise you come off being just as caddy, fake, and phoney as they are. Keep it real Girl!!

AprilMK
AprilMK

I am so sorry that you had to hear of your daughter's nuptials in such a way. I can understand what a hard pill that must have been to swallow (especially about your only daughter). I have to tell you in the long run it may be for the best. Being recently married and working in the wedding industry I see more and more couples quietly getting hitched and having a big affair later and it's nothing to anyone even thinks twice about. After going through my own wedding last Oct I wish I had done the same. The stress of so much going on around a couple on the wedding day is often so overwhelming they don't get a chance to to really take in the moment and enjoy the commitment they have just made. There's the months of planning and compromising on everyone's ideas and then the day arrives and everything is going a mile a minute, you barely get to eat, the party is spinning around you and before you know it's over and you're so exhausted you are just thrilled it's done with. This way they got to have their private day to take in as they pleased AND they will probably get more enjoyment out the big celebration without the nerves that accompany such a life change. I am sure the wedding soiree will be fabulous and you will all make great memories celebrating the joining of the your family with your new son-in-laws. Congratulations to you and the happy couple.

Sandi in the PNW
Sandi in the PNW

Vicki, Kids will grow up and break your heart with decisions they make that you don't agree with. I think ALL parents at one time or another go through this. If they don't, well then, they just dodged a bullet.

When I first saw your reaction, i wanted to say "oh Puhlease! She's grown up and can do what she wants ...." ...but then I took a second to put myself in your shoes, and I know I would have felt the same. EXPECIALLY if it was a guy that you didn't even know!! You guys are close and it's the last thing you would ever have expected of her. But, it is what it is, and i don't blame your reaction. And, in the end, you worked through it and accepted it and life goes on. Good for you! Wish I could say that this experience will make any other 'future bombs' easier to accept, but that would be a big fat lie. LOL ... just love her and be there for her, if you were to take a stance of unacceptance, then you would most likely lose her, and if not completely, it would forever change your relationship....

Hang in there, girl and focus on your new relationship! Happy times ahead for you, right!?

Sararose
Sararose

I wish Brianna the best of luck on her marriage, she's been through some hard times. God is watching her. May god bless her in many ways. She's a strong Woman with a big heart. Vicky did something good in her life. Vicky is so strong, and finally she's happy.

Ashlyebooker1022
Ashlyebooker1022

Vicki, I have always liked you and still do. I think your reaction to Brianna's marriage was the same as any mother caught off guard. It is so easy for viewers to make judgments from one hour of tv and not really think about that could be going on off camera. I know you can be snarky at times but I think that's just who you are and people will either love it or hate it...me, I love it. I think it is important to be honest with people and not fake. Love the show and can't wait to see more of this season and the reunion!!! Good luck with wines by wives!

Donna Lewis
Donna Lewis

I believe you're a hardworking lady, however you don't know how lucky you are. You have supportive friends, loving family, a wonderful work ethic, and a reality show. Get over yourself, everything is NOT about you. You're a mature woman, act your age. I'm sure your response to Brianas bomb, hurt her immensely, even a small smile would have gone a long ways. I'll soon be 68 yrs old, and I see alot of what I did, in what you're doing. I never had your successes, but I had a strong work ethic, Thank God, my home is free and clear. But I'm alone, except for my dogs. Some days I don't have any human contact. I realize you must appreciate all that you have, but show your audience a little more. God Bless

debdoug
debdoug

Vicki,  You say that Brianna's and Ryan's wedding is not just about them - it's about you too.  Newsflash - no - it is not.  I know it is hard for you to accept this, but I hope you will find happiness eventually.