Vicki Gunvalson

Vicki traces what led up to her fight with Briana and shares where they are now.

on May 16, 20120

This week's episode is one that I wished had never happened. I actually have not watched this episode and most likely will never. I have just returned from my daughter's destination wedding, and I am still on "happy thoughts." This episode tonight featured a strong exchange between Briana and myself, which was painful when it happened and I don't know if I am ready to re-live it again.

 

My children are my driving force and my reason, actually, for my own success. I want everything for them, and I want them to have everything I never had. Isn't that what all parents want? As parents, we (even I) do not always get what we want at all. Every parent that is divorced and enters the dating world will come across resistance from their children. This is inevitable. No one can hurt you more than your children, and Briana said some things to me that were shocking, but also painful. I have come to realize over the last couple of months, that Briana is still processing my separation from Donn and most likely her biological father. As you saw, this week my daughter and I hit a wall full speed ahead and it hurt. It hurt bad!

128 comments
Tvan11@
Tvan11@

Here's a good one for you to think on Vicki.... God gave us two ears and one mouth, that's because he wanted us to LISTEN more.............................

InkyTinx
InkyTinx

Having just seen that episode over here in the UK I am afraid I agree with your daughter, I think you would be wise to listen to her fears

delphine bloodworth
delphine bloodworth

BRIANNA'S AND RYAN GOOD LUCK IN ALL YOU DO OK GOD AT THE HEAD ALWAY AND LOVE YOUR MOTHER THOUGHT THIS OK HER HEART STILL BELONG TO DON SO LOVE HER IS ALL SHE NEED BE THERE FOR HER AND TELL YOUR BROTHER SHE NEED HIM TO HE NEED TO SHOULD HER MORE LOVE SHE NEED YOU ALL SHE LOST HELP HER OK LOVE YOU ALL DELPHINE

Viewer
Viewer

A successful marriage isnt dictated by the biological age of your body, its dictated by the spiritual commitment shared by two souls. So while many young Americans mark their days in the usual ways -- by hitting the clubs, incessantly checking Facebook, Twittering their latest love interest and obsessing about their poor job prospects or how to get into graduate school -- my applause goes out to those among them , such as Brianna and Ryan,who've figured out that sometimes the right time is right now.

rebeca
rebeca

Vicks, many your daughter might be finicky about you dating or more so, getting serious, HOWEVER, hon,.."the flags:" are there regarding Brooks. I as a viewer, gosh! thought immediately when I heard the gooey over kill mush blah he was saying as NOT genuine. You deserve Greatness! I am not a Vicki fan but surely you deserve plenty of credit for certain qualities you possess. cackling and placing blame and being insecure are not one of your best features. GIrl, are you really happy "today" with that man? If he is your "crutch" to get you thru your divorce great! who doesnt' now a day use someone. especially men!!! You go for your's but you take care of yours!!! He is hungry for the attention, the spot light and what you have and what you can provide! Good luck and your daughter running off with Ryan, celebrate her day, enjoy your grandchild and move on from that. Lots of strength light and blessings.

Hillary Richards
Hillary Richards

Vicki, I don't thinks Brooks is as bad as everyone says, he really just seems awkward. You and Brianna should BOTH respect each other's decisions. Please stop playing tit for tat with everyone in your life.

Carmenhag
Carmenhag

As a military spouse I understand Brennan choose to "elope" or have a "fast wedding". If you are not part of the military community this idea of a "fast wedding" is seen as unconventional and rebellious but when you find the man you love and you actually have to live with the high probability that he will not come home from combat I think it matures a relationship extremely fast. And in Breanne's case she also had to deal with the stress that she could have died. I think it is obvious that your daughter and son in law bonded on this strong life experience together. In my own thoughts I feel like you thought Breanne how to be a fine young lady but her life experiences have made her more mature then her then you could ever comprehend.

ppsful
ppsful

First, I have to say that Brianna is one classy, smart, indepentent, phenomenal woman. She is one I would love to see on "The Housewives" She is by far the most level headed and compassionate person on the show. She brings her sparkling personality to the show with warmth. I would love to meet this beautiful girl, I am sure she is a delight to be around. Second, we all realize it is always all about you. Although I admire your fabulous self motivations and business sense , you lack the people skills to be empathetic with most people. It is always about "you"! Your empty tank , your wedding, your double standards. Sometimes Vicki, you need to reflect things before you go into your screaming matches. Own up to the fact that you are not the only victim and you are not always right. I really wonder if you seek counseling for this behavior. What really creeped me out was how affectionate your Father was to you. Somehow through your life you have become obsessive/compulsive, lack empathy and poor yourself into everything to fill your tank.These are things that most people can do for themselves without the codepency behavior. I have been married and divorced myself. I worry for you because you are more vulnerable than you allow yourself to feel, which also sets you up for opportunists. I have watched you through all the ups and downs on the show, since the first series. I am not trying to be mean, I am only trying to share my life experiences with hopes that you can really look into yourself. I would love to see you truly happy without something that consumes you. You really owe Gretchen a big apology for all the double standards with the Slade and Brooks scenerio. I hope to see that on the reunion. I do love you Vicki. Congratulations on the new grandchild, it's better than having your own children! Grandchildren fill spots in your heart that you can explain. I am glad you and Brianna are getting along now, that was hard to watch. I send my prayers and love that will reach across from Illinois to you and family. xox

AbbyRose
AbbyRose

Vicki,

You have to give respect in order to get it. The reason prospective husbands asked for a daughter's hand in marriage was because daughters were considered "chattel" to be given away by the father in consideration for money or land. Ryan hinted that he wanted to ask you and then turned to Brianna. Brianna was the one who did not want Ryan to approach you and as her future husband he respected her wishes. What you should be asking is why you daughter did not want to YOU be there when she got married.

When Brianna said she had concerns about Brooks you come back with you have concerns about Ryan. When she asked you what they were you give some vague statement that you will tell her sometime. You did that because at the time you did not have one concern that you could tell her. That sort of tit for tat happens in kindergarten and not between adults.

Vicki you may be an adult but you are not a grown up. Grown ups do not behave in this dramatic irrational fashion. You need to suck it up and start acting life a 50 year old woman and not some giggly thing right out of high school.

beccalynn
beccalynn

I don't understand why Vicki keeps saying Briana "robbed" her of a wedding. Immediately after telling Vicki she was married Briana said that Ryan and she still planned to have a formal wedding. And obviously they just had a "destination wedding". I don't understand the issue.

a big fan. x
a big fan. x

I know it can sometimes feel like you have failed yourself and your family when a divorce happens, even when you know that you are making the right decision. Sometimes I think that things happen for a reason and that it is part of a greater plan, maybe Donn was supposed to come into your life to be a part of your childrens lives. He might not have been the right companion for you but provided what your kids needed when they needed it. They are great kids with your drive mixed with Donn's more laid back approach to life and together you have taught them great values. Don't beat yourself up for moving on, you have obviously had a lot longer to mentally prepare yourself for the divorce while you were deciding what to do and I am sure they still have a lot of loyalties with Donn. Your kids will be okay though and life is too short to wait and miss opportunities to find happiness.

KelleyW
KelleyW

When a man you are dating asks questions about your finances-what you will receive after your divorce, retirement, etc.- run the other way. Those were not asked out of concern for you, but for him. As for your daughter's marriage, the words "I" and "my life" were said repeatedly by you regarding her life...strange. Perhaps you should consider a more selfless approach to life, be a less "needy" person. Your life would run more smoothly.

GirlOz82
GirlOz82

Hi Vicki,

I really like watching you on the show, im going through a bit of a tough time in my life right now. I moved across the world from Australia to England without much of a plan. Im struggling with my confidence and self esteem and finding it hard to pull myself out of a rut but ill get there. The point of my message is you come across as a strong independent woman and when you say a woman needs to be able to look after herself, you're right and its a reminder to me that its what I need to do and I can do it. I used to be so independent but since moving and meeting my boyfriend (who is incredibly patient and suppotive) I find myself relying on him way too much. I like watching the show, it inspires me to be a better woman. Im nearly 30 years old and its quite sad where I was at in my life and how many steps ive fallen back in all areas of my life because i've let my lack of confidence take me over. I dont want the plastic surgery or the boobs! but I do want more for myself a hell of a lot more.

xx

Reallyyyy
Reallyyyy

Listen to your daughters gut feelings about Brooks! As mothers we teach our children to listen to their gut feelings. If you dismiss hers than what have you taught her???? It's out of love for her mom! Hang in there Vic~

viewer9999
viewer9999

Oh Vicky...Brooks may be getting a bad rap, as you say. But, he did say the things he said. Creepy. Be smart and move along.

Liza Mason
Liza Mason

Brooke does say the right things at the right time........and tries to say that he loves your children like his own and he just met them. I agree with the other wives, something is shady. And I think you owe Gretchen an apology. Just saying.

pill
pill

Because Ryan is a young war hero... Just begone Vickie you are rediculous ... Please go fill up your tank and ride off we would be so happy to see this...

Viewer UK
Viewer UK

Well done Brianna, you are a very special young woman. I hope you have a life full of peace, contentment and love.

Stacey Loflin
Stacey Loflin

Dear Vicki:

I applaud the way you left your daughter during the argument. You still hugged her and told her you loved her. I am sure it was hard to go through - it was hard as a viewer, that's for sure.

Not that you take viewers opinions into consideration, but... will you ever agree that you judge Slade on his lack of child support but you don't do the same with your boyfriend? All I have ever heard you say is "he's been honest with me". I cannot understand what difference that makes. Honest or not, if he does not pay child support, it's the same as Slade.

I think at some point, you need to address that with Gretchen. Your relationship with Gretchen (or lack thereof) has been contemptuous and seems to be largely in part because of your disdain for Slade and his lack of child support payments. Just seems rather hypocritical to me.

I know you are an intelligent business woman who is a wonderful mother and kind human being. I am hopeful that you will consider having an open...calm...friendly discussion with Gretchen about how the two are similar or not similar. It would be worth the watch. Maybe at the reunion? :)

All the best, Stacey

kdtoms
kdtoms

Vicki, Kudos to you and Donn for supporting Briana at her destination wedding. Time heals all wounds, and your family WILL make it through these tough times.

April F
April F

If you say that Brooks is getting a bad "rap", then I suggest you give Gretchen a SINCERE apology for all of the things you have said about Slade.

Yunabx
Yunabx

I find it hilarious that people think its ok to disrespect your Mother. Brianna was wrong and should practice what she preaches. No one knows what goes in a marriage and the assumption that Don is great or that he treated Vicki good cannot be made from watching a show. Brianna is a grown married woman now and someday she will understand what her Mother is going through. If you were married at 19 and have always been in a relationship it is going to be hard to be alone because you do not know how. Brianna and Michael should show their Mother there is a life outside of marriage and include her more in theirs. Because both dislike Brook and are keeping their distance they are handing Vicki right over to him. At the end of the day Vicki is a grown woman and she is allowed to live her life and make mistakes. As my friend always says" If you like it I love it". Vicki will see on her own what kind a man Brooks in because what is in the dark will eventually come out in the light.

Jeff Martin
Jeff Martin

Vicki, You and I both know that what you are saying is basically right. BUT we also know that you were morally wrong for a long time and the way you have handled your personal love life is WRONG. It is hard when kids realize that their parents are human and make mistakes.

stacy f
stacy f

Vicki,

I normally do not make comments about your show. However, I do have to say. Please practice what you preach. Your need to use your own advise about how people look at brooks and use it towards the way you look at slade.

Deebdo
Deebdo

You have just been given a gift when Brianna's health scare turned out well. She has been thru hell with that and I don't understand how you (who talks about how your kids are everything) aren't thanking God and just being grateful everything turned out so well. If marrying Ryan made her happy so be it. After the nightmare with her health I would have been thrilled to see her so happy. Instead of thinking about how she took the "wedding" away from you. She is so wonderful and smart. You really could learn from her.

Maya Norvel
Maya Norvel

Vicki, I am torn. I think you handled the situation well in the end but I don't in any way think someone who has gone through two divorces can say anything about how their children get married. It would've been so awkward for her to have a wedding with all the ppl she loves there. It is also so fresh she probably is tried of carrying your baggage and didn't want to start her life with her new husband stressing about who Don walking her down the isle or you alls interactions at a wedding. She wanted to do something by herself and share an intimate experience with her new husband. I did the same thing in 2010. I eloped with my husband and called my parent two weeks later. Vicki don't look to your kids for approval! I do agree with your daughter though. You need some YOU time. Your new boyfriend is an opportunist (clearly) and you need to hang out with some single girlfriends and live it up. DUMP BROOKS!

GayAnthony
GayAnthony

I have to say the fight between you and Brianna made me uncomfortable. We've never seen you guys go at it like that before and it was a raw nerve moment caught on tape. That being said, I think you were both brave to put yourselves out there and be honest with each other while the "world" watched.

I wish you and your family the best and hope to enjoy many more seasons of you AND your family on this show.

English Jane
English Jane

Vicki, I am an English person, living in England and just watching your series 6. I really feel for you in the pain you're feeling as I've been there myself. I've just been reading these comments about you and must say that I don't understand how people can judge you when they see only selected scenes of your life, not your reality and how you feel.

What I would say is that I totally understand your feelings about your daughter's wedding. It's not for anyone else to judge you about it. I would also add that I met my now husband when I was 50 and have a great marriage, so it can work.

Best wishes to you Jane

TootyBoo
TootyBoo

Briana's finding her voice! Woo hoo!!

amh
amh

Put Brianna on the show as a housewife!!!! She is a beatuiful, smart, loving woman with a amazing young husband (war hero). I would love to watch her story of a woman who values people, her husband, and new baby above looks and money. Andy mix things up!!

Debbie UK
Debbie UK

Would just like to say im here in the UK and love watching the housewives... they all are whacky but great in their own way but have to say i love Vicky she's so open and honest and we'r just watching her going through her split with Don ... so sad but want to wish them both all the happiness for the future and to say Vicky keep strong your going to be happy again soon x

Linda Howard
Linda Howard

Her husband is evidently a stand-up guy so what's the problem? You should have still been so euphoric that she didn't have cancer that nothing should have ruffled your feathers. She went through a very difficult two years plus your divorce was painful for her but you gave no thought to her pain and her needs. I think she's right about Brooks.

shonaMcGregor
shonaMcGregor

i was in tears when i was you fighting with Brianna and i felt you pai. i hate fighting with my mum. just keeping going strong. all the best and congtrates on the next grandchild.

Ps you are my favourite housewife vicki, love you forever. just keep Whooing./ love. me and my mum alway do it when watch RHOC and its my new catachphrase lol. Whoooooo xxxxx

shonaMcGregor
shonaMcGregor

Vicki, i believe you are doing the right thing. dont listen to everyone whos is giving you grief. you have a right to feel angry about Brianna eloping. its what a mother should do and feel. and congrates on the next grandchild.

P.s you are my favourite Housewife Vicki love u forever !!!!! keep Whooing. love it

MartaG
MartaG

I just love it when you say 'Ryan took your daughter to Vegas' taking away from YOU - bla bla bla. Ryan DID NOT TAKE ANYTHING - your daughter went with him willingly, Vicky. Do you get it??? Your daughter is one smart lady. You, not so much. You are with a deadbeat, but you can only see that in Slade. You are quick to judge everyone else, but you can't see it in that loser. Watching you is like really watching a train wreck in action. You want us to believe that it really is all about your children - right! You lost the best thing in the world and took up with a real con man. He is a poor excuse for a man, but then again, you are really not much either. Your children - well, let's just say they are great - your daughter will make the best mother ever, and not from you as the example. She and Ryan will have a loving, wonderful life. Donn will be a great part of it, only because she learned to love from him.

Richelle K
Richelle K

Brooks is a bad guy, this i know, your a wonderful woman, listen to your kids vickey

Realhousewifenotinorangecounty
Realhousewifenotinorangecounty

Vicki, I was very proud of how you did not lose your cool with Brianna and left that heated argument with love and without words you would regret later. That was a great example for all of us parents.

2011KIMBER
2011KIMBER

Last thing you want to do is step in between your daughter and her new husband. I read that you have accepted their marriage, and now it seems you are in a better place with them, so that is a great thing. You just seem to have the hardest time letting things go or stepping outside of the box to see a bigger picture. Your grandchild will light up your entire universe. congratulations!

Sunshine1966
Sunshine1966

You should be proud of her, she is a great daughter and daughter's have good senses to. Listen to her about Brooks, he is a digger.

Krismas
Krismas

Vic - Congrats on you and Brooks. You deserve each other.

Go Brianna
Go Brianna

Vicki I love your daughter. Brianna I love you girl, I love you! YI love you Brianna and your mom should be very proud of you! You are the type of friend I would want in my life, because you tell it the way you see it and those friends I keep near and dear to my heart.

M. Jeffrey
M. Jeffrey

Oh Vicki!!! I was crying for you during that horrible fight with your daughter!! I have adult daughters and I KNOW what that is like. I am so sorry you had to have it on TV but it's what it is!! I HEARD everything you said and you were the one SPOT ON. Brianna was NOT!! But those who are haters don't know what it's like to be a Mom of adult children and going thru a divorce and trying to date. And YES.. I would have been DEVASTATED if my daughter married like that.. BUT sooo happy you were able to have the wedding and enjoy it with your daughter. YOU ARE A GREAT MOM.. always have been.. and you have raised an alpha female like yourself as I have..soo we will butt heads won't we..but we also LOVE as strong as we fight!! BUT she will be successful and you will both be closer then EVER. I have just become a Grandma THIS WEEK.. you will LOVE IT!!! I understand Vicki.. ALL of it.. and it IS unfair what people are saying about Brooks... Know there are some of us out here who HEARD and SAW what happened in that apartment and I CRIED and YELLED at the TV at Brianna... ugh.. I support you Vicki completely.. I have watched since the FIRST show!!!

ofan111
ofan111

Sorry Vicki I couldn't refrain myself from saying that I completely believe Brooks is an Oppurtunist and Briana is right to be concerned. Also I would really like to hear you say thank you to Ryan for making your daughter so happy and for his service to our Country. I think that says alot about the kind of Man your daughter married. No comparison to Brooks there.

Lisa F.
Lisa F.

Congratulations on becoming a Grandma soon! IT's the best in the world!

Poco
Poco

Brianna is a gem of a daughter and is only watching out for you. Your kids continue to be the best part of you.

IrvineMichele
IrvineMichele

Vicki: Brianna's spot-on about EVERYTHING..that is one smart cookie! Yes, it sucks to hear her call you out on your stuff, but the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. You taught her to speak her mind and question authority. Your son looked like he was going to explode on the deck with Brooks, poor kid. Why force your relationship on your grown children?

LizaH
LizaH

The tiff between you and Briana has really shown me what you are both made of: You should be VERY PROUD of who she is and how she expresses herself. I know you, as her mother, contributed to her character.

HOWEVER, Brianna was right when she said you are defensive and, instead of discussing a matter, you try to bring down her and her husband's relationship.

PLEASE respect your children and treat them like adults. They are, after all.

I wish you the best, Vicki. I am rooting for you. And for Briana; she is a class act. You all deserve real-life happiness.

Shawn_in_Texas
Shawn_in_Texas

I absolutely adore Briana. She is a phenominal woman. You did a great job raising her. That said....You didn't like it when she did not instantly say that she like Brooks so you began to attack her and Ryan's marriage. Honey, she gave it right back and when you challenged her to "Bring it", she did!! I think next season Briana should take your place and you can grace us with an occassional guest appearance! Team Briana all the way!!