Cast Blog: #RHOC

Hitting a Wall

Vicki traces what led up to her fight with Briana and shares where they are now.

This week's episode is one that I wished had never happened. I actually have not watched this episode and most likely will never. I have just returned from my daughter's destination wedding, and I am still on "happy thoughts." This episode tonight featured a strong exchange between Briana and myself, which was painful when it happened and I don't know if I am ready to re-live it again.


My children are my driving force and my reason, actually, for my own success. I want everything for them, and I want them to have everything I never had. Isn't that what all parents want? As parents, we (even I) do not always get what we want at all. Every parent that is divorced and enters the dating world will come across resistance from their children. This is inevitable. No one can hurt you more than your children, and Briana said some things to me that were shocking, but also painful. I have come to realize over the last couple of months, that Briana is still processing my separation from Donn and most likely her biological father. As you saw, this week my daughter and I hit a wall full speed ahead and it hurt. It hurt bad!

Donn is loved by my family, friends, and viewers, and some people are having trouble with me moving on with my life and getting involved with another man. Consequently, Brooks is being judged unfairly and should not be blamed for people missing Donn.

Here's the thing I'd like all of you to know: I DID want my daughter to have a traditional wedding -- not a drive through. She deserved better than that. And, yes, I admit I wanted to experience the thrill of all the excitement and joy that comes with my only daughter getting married. I did not expect my daughter to take this away from me. After the dust had settled, I realized I had to move past that. I love my daughter, and I chose to support her decision. I must also support her choice for her husband. I did not really know Ryan, and I certainly did not expect him to take my only daughter to Vegas to get married. But the reality is it's done and I must forget my own feelings and show my daughter I love her unconditionally regardless of her choices.

I believe the part of being a good mother is that you must love them, regardless of the hurt they have caused you. Here is where being a good parent comes in: I am a fierce warrior, and I can and will protect my children as long as there is breath in me. When Briana told me she got married, I wondered if there was an ulterior motive on Ryan's part. I had hoped there wasn't. . .but what if there was? I was scared out of my mind for her and our family.

The blowup tonight had been festering for weeks. Briana had very strong feelings about me dating so soon after Donn and I separated, and I had very strong feelings of her marrying a man she didn't date consistently. We both had fears, and I believe they came purely from LOVE.

When I was in Briana's condo having this terribly heated discussion with her, I knew no matter what I said, I wasn't going to convince her to accept Brooks and I dating. For that matter, no matter what she said was not going to convince me that marrying Ryan so quickly was the best decision either. I believe no matter who I was dating, she would have reacted the same way. It wasn't Brooks in particular; it was me dating in general.

What you didn't see is I left her home in tears, and just sat in the street and prayed, cried, and prayed some more. I realized it was not the end of the world if my daughter does not like the man I am dating.

I say dating -- because Brooks and I are “dating.” We are not living together. We are taking our relationship slow. We enjoy spending time together. We haven't commingled any finances (nor do I ever plan to), and I sure the heck am not ready for marriage or even an engagement. I'm taking the relationship for what it is, which is two grown people who love and respect each other. I'm dating Brooks because he makes me extremely happy, doesn't lie to me, and is treating me with the respect and love that I deserve. That's it.

For those of you that wonder if my divorce is finalized yet it isn't. We haven't finalized our divorce yet because I am still fighting paying spousal support, as well as because some of our properties still need to be sold and settled. Both Donn and I are NOT in a hurry to get a divorce piece of paper hastily. It is inevitable we will be divorced, but we are doing it on OUR terms, not anyone else's, and we won't be influenced by anyone to rush it. We want the best for each other, and the best for each other is to remain friends, with our business hats on, and to attempt to keep the emotions aside.

My relationship with Brooks is far greater than what has been shown. Everyone should wait and see. I would like for my daughter to understand how I feel, and maybe I should have told her in a better way than I did.Briana has to trust me as I do her with her own choices. I am a serious businesswoman who makes good decisions in life. I am smart, accomplished, and have my feet squarely planted on the ground. I am not being impulsive or insecure by dating Brooks. I am human though, and I am not right every time, for certain.

My decision to date Brooks is something that I think is much like a road under construction. There will be some bumps -- and maybe some detours but I will always come out ahead. What I want all of you to know is I am definitely not stupid and neither is my daughter. Through my 50 years of life, I have a very good instinct on people. I know Brooks more than most, and what I see is an amazing man that has gotten a bad "rap." I challenge any of you that have the urge to write a bad blog comment about him, Briana, or myself to refrain. I challenge any of you that have the urge to write a bad blog comment about him, Briana or myself to refrain. I ask that you see my side in this situation, and just have some compassion for me as well as Brooks. It's very difficult for Brooks to be constantly "on trial" about him, without really having full knowledge of HIS side of the story. Put yourself in his shoes. Here are the facts: He didn't sign up for this show. He appeared with me because I asked him to. I wanted to show the "world" that you can be happy and find a true partner and soul mate at this age. Unfortunately, because you don't see everything and with my other 'Wives trying to sabotage him, he didn't have the platform or forum to show the REAL Brooks.

What's wonderful about my relationship with Brooks, is he is truly my best friend. His children come before me, and mine come before him. I will never choose between my significant other or my children, because my kids will always prevail.

So, in closing, I have chosen to accept Ryan into our family and I am proud to announce this past weekend we celebrated a beautiful destination wedding with 75 family members and their closest friends. It was a beautiful ceremony and celebration, one filled with love, dancing, and wonderful food. Brooks was in attendance, and so was Donn with his girlfriend. It was a bit uncomfortable at first having them meet, but at the end of the day it was for Briana and Ryan. Donn and Brooks shook hands, and both were very respectful of each other. The episode you saw tonight, happened well over seven months ago, and TIME does heal. We are in a much better place today, and I am grateful for that.

I am so happy for Briana and Ryan, and I know Briana is happy for me. I don't know what my future holds, but all that I do know is life is short. . .or life is long. None of us really know when we will be called home to our Lord. Live each day as if it's your last, surround yourself with positive people, and let the haters be haters. I choose not to listen to it, and to follow my own heart. It's never let me down yet.

I wish all of you an amazing week, and thank you for your support.

Don't forget to visit my website for my book More Than a Housewife or for more information on life insurance or 401k rollover information.

Vicki Gunvalson

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Lizzie: Tamra Doesn't Fight Fair

Lizzie thinks Tamra's comments about her children were meant to deflect from her own problems.

Happy Labor Day!!! I am going to make this blog short and sweet. It’s a holiday and I am going to be spending the day with family in Newport wearing a Sun Kitten and a smile. I hope you all are having a great holiday weekend.

To be honest, the second half of the Reunion was hard to watch. I think it got too ugly. I am not going to insult any of your intelligence in explaining this episode. We all know that misery loves company, and "projection" is as easy to spot as a $2 dollar bill. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that everything miserable that comes out of Tamra's mouth is a direct reflection of what is going on in her life. In my opinion, children are off limits. It's quite apparent that Tamra does not fight fair and when all else fails she will throw your kids, marriage, and even your body under the bus in an attempt to hurt you. We filmed the reunion for over 10 hours and after listening to so much ugliness my heart just couldn't take it anymore.

I do not regret telling Shannon all the things that Tamra said about her. Everything I shared with Shannon was something that happened and was said on camera. I didn't take anything and create unnecessary drama. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I would think my friends would do the same for me. I simply did not know the truth about Tamra. Danielle told me all the things Tamra said about me. That is why after my birthday I was so hurt by her. It's hard for viewers to understand because these things weren't in the show. She could have called me and said she wasn't coming. I called her after sitting on the bus for over an hour. The next day she made fun of me to Danielle, in addition to asking plenty of questions looking for negative details regarding my party.

On that one-year free membership to Cut Fitness: Let's delve into this shall we? I was the one that contacted Tamra days after my party. She did not contact me to give me present. I had invited Tamra, Eddie, Danielle, Joe, Heather, and Terry to the Kentucky Derby and Tamra was the only person that had not sent in the RSVP. It was past the deadline and it was getting borderline rude at this point. Tamra, in fact, was making fun of the Kentucky Derby and the charity event that would be hosting us to Danielle. So, I reached out to Tamra regarding the Kentucky Derby and she texted me back saying, "I want to give you a free membership to CUT for your birthday." Tamra knows I am already a member to a sports club and that was the last I heard of this "free membership." I never received any kind of certificate or card for membership. I suppose she thought I would have the gall to show up and say, "I got a text message from Tamra for a free membership!" It's almost laughable. Needless to say, I don't go to her gym and she didn't attend the Kentucky Derby with me.

There is nothing else to say regarding the Shag, Marry, Kill game that I haven't already discussed in great length in any of my previous blogs. I said the word "marry" and that's that. Tamra even glared at me on the way out of the Valentine's Party and repeated it. "Marry you?" Tamra has said multiple times she couldn't even remember because she drank too much and there are even text messages where she says it too. Her story changes continually, like the words that come out both sides of her mouth.

During the Reunion, Tamra said many more hurtful things that you didn't see. She went on to talk about my son Preston and my marriage. We all remember the episode in the park where Preston hit me on the head with his elephant. He was asleep in the car and he had a mini temper tantrum. He was three -- it happens. I would assume most mothers have had it happen at some point. In addition, my husband and I got in a fight on my birthday. I feel awful about it, yet it made us closer. I just wanted what every woman wants -- to feel special because of her man. I am a big time believer in learning from your mistakes and that won't ever happen again. However none of those incidents had anything to do with Tamra. But on her quest to hurt everyone, she managed to drag in some irrelevant topics. I know it's all to deflect from what's going on in her life and to make someone else look bad. . .but it does hurt nonetheless. My babies and my marriage are my life so I guess her goal was to attack the things closest to my heart because she can't fight fair.

I hope you enjoyed this season and I hope you had a fabulous summer!!! The fall is my absolute favorite time of year, so I say bring on football and cooler weather.

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