Both Mike and Briana are very guarded and very territorial of me. You could feel the tension in the air when Brooks and I sat in the room with Briana and Ryan. Looking back, it was probably one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. I really do not like conflict and when it comes to my kids, they are the first priority in my life. I don't like them being disrespectful, but I do acknowledge that they didn't mean to be. It's interesting that now they are 25 and 26 and are adults. I still worry about them like they were five and six. I guess that feeling will never go away. Sometimes I think it was easier when they were younger than it is now. Either way, they are my kids. They are my priority, and I understand their fears and the uncertainty that comes with their mother dating.
Since this night seven months ago, we are all at a much better place. Brooks, Mike, and I just got back from the Kentucky Derby together and Briana, Ryan, Brooks, and I go out on double dates quite often. It's not perfect by any means, but it is much better than it was when this episode filmed.
I am not rushing into marriage with Brooks, as I myself have a lot of growing and healing to do. The only thing I believe that will help me through is TIME. Those of you that have ever been divorced, understand that it's like dealing with a death -- except the person is still around. It's a void that is very difficult, but I know it's the right thing for Donn and I. Brooks has been a real partner through all of my transitions and can feel the stress all around. He has stood beside me encouraging me to be patient with Mike and Briana, and consistently influences me to shower them with love. He continuously reassures me that "everything will be OK in God's timing." To say I haven't shed an ocean of tears through all of this transition would be an understatement.