To the couches we all go. . .
This is never a fun time for any of us. We dread it like we would a root canal. Yet, it's inevitable.
Weeks ago, when Gretchen and I met for lunch, I blogged about my feelings on our relationship, and I don't want to re-hash that, so you can read that blog for details. To summarize, going into the reunion I felt (and still do feel) that our friendship will not recover. Can I move on? Yes, and I can also be cordial in a group setting as I have no ill will towards her. I just can't trust her. Plain and simple. I understand what our friendship was, I am fine with how it has ended and I truly wish only the best for her.
Onto Lydia and I. Lydia is my true friend. I guess the only problem I have is that I felt she was my true friend from the very beginning, and she doesn't feel the same. That's where the confusion comes in.
Before Lydia was even on the show, we were hanging out together with husbands, doing play dates, working out together. . .AND having long phone conversations about her coming onto the show. To me, we had an authentic friendship, we knew each other very well, and I felt a loyalty to her. With that said, I told her I never expected her to fight my battles with these women. And I meant it.
However, that doesn't mean I wanted a wishy-washy friend either. If you are my friend, then you are my friend, period. When I watched the scene when Lydia met with Heather at her house, I already felt our friendship was authentic and I thought Lydia reciprocated. So to hear her say to Heather that she didn't know me that well once Heather frowned about me, I was crushed. And confused. The next few episodes also hurt. I felt Heather confirmed my feeling when she told her that she didn't feel Lydia acted as if we had hung out on several occasions. However, Lydia and I have discussed it, we have both shared our sides to it, and we have moved on. That's what friends do: discuss and move on.
Hold on tight, because this is only Part 1 of 3. I'm sure we are in for an emotional ride.