As I continued to watch the show, I became even more baffled because, as a friend, I would have hoped she would've not only told me from the get-go that she was talking to them -- but if she knew the producers then I thought she would've even said something like ,“Hey, I’ve worked with them before. I’ll put in a good word for you.” I mean it’s not like we were even competing for the same part. When my agent called she said “They want you to play yourself.” And Heather clearly made it known that we were asked about different roles. The entire situation was very disappointing to me, and created what I felt was unnecessary conflict between Heather and I and the rest of the women.
I was relieved to see that at least Lauri and Lydia stuck up for me. I would expect that from Lauri, because we have always been on good terms. But I was surprised and happy about Lydia because up to this point we hadn’t really had that much of a connection. I sincerely appreciated that. Lauri clarifying that Vicki accusing me of being a liar is ridiculous considering everything she has been lying about for years, goes to prove once again Vicki will do anything to deflect something off herself. It was crazy to see how desperate she was to have everyone believe I was a liar. It just continued to make me realize how truly malicious and hateful she is towards me.
It’s always so hard to go back to these feelings months later and rehash the hurt and pain you remember dealing with back then and having emotions stirred up from what is now our pasts. I feel like a lot has changed since then, truths have been realized, things have been discussed and some relationships have been restored. I have learned to keep my heart a little more protected. Good news is every week I learn a lot more watching the show.