Cast Blog: #RHOC

Heather's No Bully

Heather doesn't want to get lumped into the us versus them battle, because she disagrees with how Alexis and Tamra acted.

Let's start with a few comments about our opening scenes. . .

I am so tired of being lumped in with "the other girls," and this whole "us against you" dynamic, like we are on teams. I've always had individual relationships with all of the ladies and continue to do so. Even when Tamra and Vicki were having extreme problems between them, I maintained separate relationships with no problem.

Also, I have never commented on Vicki's surgery or Alexis' for that matter. I've always said they were pretty girls before and are pretty now. Plastic surgery is a personal choice.

KFI Radio show: It was a two-hour show, and I touched on many parenting issues -- bullying being one of them. It is very personal to me, because I have been a victim of bullying. I'm also well versed in the definition. On RHOC, we are grown women on a reality show being paid to give our opinions of each other. More on that later. . .

I was pretty surprised to see Lydia relaying our conversation like that to Alexis. I didn't mention Alexis' ring at the start of our conversation. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't have mentioned Alexis at all, but Lydia kept bringing her up. Also, it wasn't shown, but I told Lydia (based on Lydia's comment that HER ring wasn't her "real" ring) that Alexis wears a fake one and has the real one in the safe at home, not to insinuate that she doesn't have a real ring.

Dinner with Lydia and Doug: This was actually a super fun dinner and we had a great time getting to know Lydia and Doug. The scene at dinner makes the "cover shoot issue" look so awkward, when, in truth, Doug explained how they do their covers and who gets featured on the magazine. We said we completely understood -- no thank you, but thanks for asking. No one had hard feelings and then we moved on...

As a matter of fact, we actually did end up shooting a feature for inside the magazine! When we suddenly and unexpectedly sold our home, I thought it would be nice to have professional pictures taken before we moved out. I called Lydia and asked if I could hire her photographer, she mentioned doing a piece for the magazine and since we were moving out, Terry and I thought it would be great. It was a lot of fun, the pictures are amazing and I'm glad we got to do it. Thanks Lydia, Doug, and Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine!

Gretchen and Slade: It's just so heartbreaking to hear about Grayson. No parent should ever have to see their child suffer. Grayson is always in our thoughts and prayers.

Tamra and Eddie ...I was shocked to hear that Tamra invited Alexis to her party. The only thing Tamra has heard lately is that Alexis is trying to sue her  I'm not saying they shouldn't sit down at some point and work out their differences. This just doesn't seem like the right place to me. No wonder her stomach is acting up!

The party at C.U.T. Wow! The place looks amazing!!! So does Tamra! Giving out the glasses was so sweet! Love a party favor!

I was giving Alexis the benefit of the doubt as to why she was coming to the party. I had no intention of engaging with her. If you've read my previous blogs, you will know that I was upset with her for my own reasons. So, when I saw her, I was just trying to be appropriate when she walked in. Maybe Alexis should give me a script? Nothing I say is right. What am I supposed to say? I said nice to see you -- it's called being polite. If I had said nothing, I would have been called rude.

It was clearly very awkward while we were all sitting there. Again, there are some of comments from some of the ladies that are perpetuate the "us" and them" situation, which I don't feel is accurate. Vicki and I have always had a nice friendship...And Lydia and I are forming a nice friendship at this point and really enjoy each others company.

When Tamra asked why Alexis came to the dinner, I think she was actually curious. There were a lot of ways Alexis could have answered, however I feel she got very defensive right off the bat. I wish she would have just said, "I just came here to support you." The conversation may have ended there. I was determined not to get involved -- but when Alexis was repeatedly saying "all of YOU," "YOU'RE all ganging up on me again," I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I didn't want to be grouped together again with everyone when I wasn't doing or saying anything!

I felt like Alexis was being aggressive and trying to egg everyone on -- almost a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, I spoke up, but I feel like its hard to get a word in edgewise with Alexis. She kept talking "at" me instead of "to" me. It was all so juvenile and ridiculous, which is why I resorted to juvenile, ridiculous behavior. This is where I felt Alexis had brought us.

Then after it calmed down, Alexis said she came to the party was because of the last time Vicki "was around YOU GUYS," and again made a sweeping hand gesture to include me. I'm tired of this. I have always been a big supporter of Vicki's. Also, the "last time" Vicki was with everyone was at my clambake. It was a successful evening and ended with Vicki and Tamra taking their first step towards making amends -- so I have no idea what Alexis is talking about.

I thought it was interesting to see the flashback from San Francisco. It was virtually the same scenario as what happened in Costa Rica. So, does that make Alexis a bully? No. And neither am I.

Alexis accuses me of being mean. I feel like she is allowed to say whatever she wants and voice her opinions -- if I do the same, I am mean? It's a conversation, argument, point/counterpoint ... Call it what you want. You can't expect to say your opinions and have everyone else just nod their heads.

Then things got out of control. Look, I understand why Tamra exploded. She felt cornered into inviting Alexis and now, as she feared, things are not going well. The last straw for Tamra was that Alexis wouldn't let me talk at all. I appreciate that as my friend she was outraged on my behalf. Although I appreciate how Tamra felt, I don't agree with how she handled the situation. It was a disproportionate reaction to what was going on at the table. You will have to stay tuned to see what happens next week ...

I also want to say, it's very easy to sit and watch from home and judge all of our actions and reactions. The truth is, you only see part of what's really going on. I thought it was brave of Alexis to come to the dinner, I just thought she should have let someone else talk at the dinner table and turned it into a conversation, rather than a shouting match.

I thought it was admirable of Tamra to allow Alexis at this gathering after what she was saying about her in the media.

Remember, there are three sides to every story. . .your side, my side, and the truth.

Until then....

Send your questions to @OKmagazine and use #OKAskHeather I am answering questions on etiquette, party planning, child rearing, health, and beauty. Ask away!

You can also follow me on Twitter @heatherdubrow. I finally have Instagram! Follow me @heatherdubrow. Check out my website: Like me on Facebook. I write all of my own posts and am happy to hear from you!

You can also follow my onion ring-loving husband on Twitter @drdubrow. Or check him out at

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Lizzie: Tamra Doesn't Fight Fair

Lizzie thinks Tamra's comments about her children were meant to deflect from her own problems.

Happy Labor Day!!! I am going to make this blog short and sweet. It’s a holiday and I am going to be spending the day with family in Newport wearing a Sun Kitten and a smile. I hope you all are having a great holiday weekend.

To be honest, the second half of the Reunion was hard to watch. I think it got too ugly. I am not going to insult any of your intelligence in explaining this episode. We all know that misery loves company, and "projection" is as easy to spot as a $2 dollar bill. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that everything miserable that comes out of Tamra's mouth is a direct reflection of what is going on in her life. In my opinion, children are off limits. It's quite apparent that Tamra does not fight fair and when all else fails she will throw your kids, marriage, and even your body under the bus in an attempt to hurt you. We filmed the reunion for over 10 hours and after listening to so much ugliness my heart just couldn't take it anymore.

I do not regret telling Shannon all the things that Tamra said about her. Everything I shared with Shannon was something that happened and was said on camera. I didn't take anything and create unnecessary drama. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I would think my friends would do the same for me. I simply did not know the truth about Tamra. Danielle told me all the things Tamra said about me. That is why after my birthday I was so hurt by her. It's hard for viewers to understand because these things weren't in the show. She could have called me and said she wasn't coming. I called her after sitting on the bus for over an hour. The next day she made fun of me to Danielle, in addition to asking plenty of questions looking for negative details regarding my party.

On that one-year free membership to Cut Fitness: Let's delve into this shall we? I was the one that contacted Tamra days after my party. She did not contact me to give me present. I had invited Tamra, Eddie, Danielle, Joe, Heather, and Terry to the Kentucky Derby and Tamra was the only person that had not sent in the RSVP. It was past the deadline and it was getting borderline rude at this point. Tamra, in fact, was making fun of the Kentucky Derby and the charity event that would be hosting us to Danielle. So, I reached out to Tamra regarding the Kentucky Derby and she texted me back saying, "I want to give you a free membership to CUT for your birthday." Tamra knows I am already a member to a sports club and that was the last I heard of this "free membership." I never received any kind of certificate or card for membership. I suppose she thought I would have the gall to show up and say, "I got a text message from Tamra for a free membership!" It's almost laughable. Needless to say, I don't go to her gym and she didn't attend the Kentucky Derby with me.

There is nothing else to say regarding the Shag, Marry, Kill game that I haven't already discussed in great length in any of my previous blogs. I said the word "marry" and that's that. Tamra even glared at me on the way out of the Valentine's Party and repeated it. "Marry you?" Tamra has said multiple times she couldn't even remember because she drank too much and there are even text messages where she says it too. Her story changes continually, like the words that come out both sides of her mouth.

During the Reunion, Tamra said many more hurtful things that you didn't see. She went on to talk about my son Preston and my marriage. We all remember the episode in the park where Preston hit me on the head with his elephant. He was asleep in the car and he had a mini temper tantrum. He was three -- it happens. I would assume most mothers have had it happen at some point. In addition, my husband and I got in a fight on my birthday. I feel awful about it, yet it made us closer. I just wanted what every woman wants -- to feel special because of her man. I am a big time believer in learning from your mistakes and that won't ever happen again. However none of those incidents had anything to do with Tamra. But on her quest to hurt everyone, she managed to drag in some irrelevant topics. I know it's all to deflect from what's going on in her life and to make someone else look bad. . .but it does hurt nonetheless. My babies and my marriage are my life so I guess her goal was to attack the things closest to my heart because she can't fight fair.

I hope you enjoyed this season and I hope you had a fabulous summer!!! The fall is my absolute favorite time of year, so I say bring on football and cooler weather.

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