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    Heather Dubrow

    Lydia Was the Voice of Reason

    Heather doesn't understand why Alexis is so hung up on Costa Rica, and why the haters don't realize they are just being bullies.

    13 hours ago

    Lastly, RHOC is a television show meant to entertain. An interesting part of the show is the interaction between the cast and viewers via social media. Twitter, Facebook and Instagram have become an intrinsic part of the show and so have viewers comments.
    I am not a close-minded person, nor do I think I am always right. I freely apologize when wrong and make amends.
    What I find so ironic is that the haters that find their way to the cast members social media are nothing more than cyber bullies. And yes, that is bullying. . .and cowardly. To hide behind a computer and an anonymous persona to spew hate at another person is despicable. I don't care who is your least favorite out of the bunch. Tamra, Lydia, Alexis, Gretchen, Vicki and myself are all human beings with real lives and real families. You are all absolutely entitled to your opinions, and we are all happy to hear them -- good or bad. Please be passionate, engage with us, give us your take on what happened -- it's part of our job. However, when I look at some of the comments on everyone's blogs and there is such venom about our looks, families, and sometimes our religious beliefs I am in shock. That will receive the ultimate karma hit.

    For all of you out there that enjoy RHOC, thank you for watching and supporting all of us. We appreciate it so much and hope it entertains, as it's meant to.

    Until next week. . .

    Send your questions to @OKmagazine and use #OKAskHeather I am answering questions on etiquette, party planning, child rearing, health and beauty. Ask away!

    You can also follow me on Twitter @heatherdubrow
    I finally have Instagram! Follow me @heatherdubrow
    Check out my website: HeatherDubrow.com
    Like me on Facebook

    You can also follow my onion ring loving husband on Twitter: @drdubrow. Or check him out at DrDubrow.com

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    nightwatch 43 pts

    These arranged dinners, and we aren't stupid out here in reality watching TV land, we all know it's the producers, who are all probably in their late 20's, arrange these stupid dinners. I used to love the RH shows, all of them, but the shows have jumped the shark! 

     

    As a business woman I loved watching the fun lives, but the fighting and insults and mean girls has become embarrassing. I believe the rumors going around that the RHBH can't even get women to join after what came out about Adrienne Maloof. Now your town is headed down that dark road of stupid staged dinners. Is that all that is going on in your lives?

    ALasVegasHousewife 4965 pts

    Heather you are so much more intellectual than Alexis...That's what bothers her about you...Her inability to one up or outsmart you. It's actually entertaining to watch you interact with her.

     

    LindaMc99 62 pts

    Wow.  It's a tv show people.  Alexis wasn't bullied.  They were trying to tell her how she comes off to people (like being a total phony). Alexis escalates the issue by her stupid comebacks instead of just saying "let me think about this".  This isn't high school.  Alexis is a grown women. You don't like what you hear, just say f off and disengage. Instead, she keeps going and then cries wolf. I like Heather.  Does she come off alittle uppity - yea.  But a bully - no.

    TulaneMom 407 pts

    Alexis and her family have been ridiculed by Tamra for their religious beliefs since Alexis joined the show. You didn't seemed outraged when Alexis was attacked by her castmates during the reunion , and called names like "Jesus jugs, and Jesus Barbie",  which was meant to hurt and try and embarrass Alexis . In fact you didn't tell them to stop , you  joined in and talked about how SUPPOSEDLY Alexis was not liked by employees in some of stores you shopped in.

    At the time of the reunion it seemed like you, Tamra and Gretchen had a plan to go after Alexis, but for what  exactly  was unclear. Can a woman not be beautiful, sexy,trusting,  have a kind heart  be a little naive at times, and go to Church?? 

    As for your opinions on the Bellino's marriage, I would pick theirs over yours based on what I've seen so far this season. They may not be perfect, but they are respectful  of each other, and seem very happy, which is a lot more than I can say for you.

    As for the viewers comments, the Bravo blogs are set up so that the viewers are able to share their thoughts and opinions of what they are seeing on the shows.

    You say in this blog that it is "despicable to spew hate at another person".

    Yet that is exactly what you, Tamra, and Gretchen have done to Alexis, you've done it to her face, and you've done it again and again.....even clanking your glasses when you've felt especially proud of  how vicious you've been.

    I'm not surprised that you have backtracked on your 'rich girl problems' comment. I'm sure the 'rich girls' of Orange County and surrounding counties as well are not impressed with you, and would think twice about using your husbands services , and supporting either of you.

    You are very similar to Adrienne Maloof , you underestimated the viewers ability to see things for what they are,  and,  like she was, are too desperate to be the Queen Bee.

     

     

    BlueSky7 645 pts

    Come on Heather... you're bullying started when you said "What are you looking at me for?!!!"  Alexis was NOT even looking at you.  But you couldn't wait to start bullying her so you had to start it.  After all, you wanted to keep up with the other bullies.  Birds of a feather, flock together...

    BlueSky7 645 pts

    You women need to set an example to the young people in life and STOP BULLYING.  You're behavior is NOT acceptable.

    RHousewivesFan 171 pts

    So let me get this straight.  When people were mean to you in high school you it was bullying, yet when you were ganging up on Alexis it wasn't bullying?  And now when people call you out on it, it is cyber bullying because people are being cowards by sitting behind a computer.

    You have a very strange relationship with the truth...  and with logic, as well, I might add.

     

    Instead of constantly trying to defend yourself and your goon troop, you should apologize to Alexis.

    All4luv 317 pts

    Heather, I understand how you are feeling right now. You must be in shock, your ego bruised and your pride hurt that you are getting "mean" comments and opinions from viewers. Shouldn't Alexis be the one getting all this? you say. Well that was your plan from the start. See how karma works, it fires back what you project on others.

    You and your "girl friends" planned to make Alexis the hated one(Tamra succeeded for a while) see how things are turning out for you. The lesson to learn here is - Treat others the way you like to be treated. Walking in Alexis' shoes, will make you appreciate why she has had to have medication. No shame in saying you are sorry or you will need stronger medication if you continue to give excuses for your repulsive behaviour towards Alexis. Also, when you apologise, please do it publicly(not in the parking lot) because you humiliated her publicly. 

    Robyen 432 pts

    Let's talk about "rich girl problems" Heather.... waaaah, someone at a small tip of the bow on my cake.... waaaaaahhh... Rich Girl Problems anyone?

    joytoo 3952 pts

     Maybe someone should give you the same advice you gave to Alexis. If you don't like the way you are being treated, quit your job. We will continue to mistreat you until we get you to quit your job. If you dare to come to work we will abuse you and it is your fault for coming to work. What do you expect? You know we are going to mistreat you but you keep coming back for more. You are asking for it by merely existing. That was your advice for Alexis. I would never talk to someone like this but you must think this is good advice so I am just giving it back to you.

    maple77782 93 pts

    While I agree people should not be spewing hateful things, I think it is the fact that people have an unfavorable opinion of you that prompted your lecture to us about comments that have been made. You are very blessed to have this unique opportunity to view yourself as others see you. Just as you and the other ladies said, " if everyone is saying it, it must be true. ". I know it must be hard to look at yourself acting in a way you know is not nice, but using semantics as your defense is not really "taking responsibility and making amends". Whether what happened is bullying or not makes no difference. You and the others were not nice to Alexis and felt the need to point out all the aspects of her personality that you don't like, instead of looking for the good in her. Don't let pride get in the way of a great learning opportunity to be a better person.

    wellmary 1308 pts

    Also wanted to say that I've never been an Alexis fan, but she handled herself with dignity and class, which is more than I can say about you, Gretchen and Tamra at the dinner.

    blueplatespecial 69 pts

    Heather, I've actually stopped watch RHOC because of the actions of Tamra and Gretchen and sometimes you.  I only read the blogs to find out what's happening.  I tried very hard to like you last season but you made it difficult.  While many other viewers think you treat your husband badly, I see it as just normal married bantering.  My husband and I are the same way. But I've never spoken to my friends the way you have nor have I sat and watched while one person in a group is attacked by others.  You may not view that as bullying but in my book it is. Had I been at that dinner party, I guarantee you I would have walked out no matter who I felt was right.  You have in the past been reasonable but sadly, it doesn't seem to last long.  It's a shame you've chosen to align yourself with the fame addicts instead of choosing to treat others with respect.  I hope you can explain this to your children when they watch this show.

    NicoleHarris155 395 pts

    You know Heather, maybe Costa Rica was really hard for Alexis....and all she needs to hear is an apology. Something that doesnt seem big to you doesnt mean that it wasn't for someone else. Consider that for a change.

    Suzinsandiego 673 pts

    Hey Heather, what would your physician husband prescribe for whiplash? I've got a bad case of it from watching you & reading your blog.

    Marylynne 133 pts

    WOW hypocrite much. Tamara, Gretchen and Heather can make comments loaded with venom regarding Alexis’s looks, family, and sometimes her religious beliefs, but that's ok because it's a paid opinion, an excuse Heather regularly uses to justify her treatment of Alexis. A lot of people are really shocked by your behavior Heather, and they are expressing their reaction to that in the blogs. That's not cyber bulling, please you knew what you were getting in to; I'm sure that's the advice you would give Alexis.

    DutchGirl69 790 pts

     Marylynne That's right...Heather signed up for this..right!

    All4luv 317 pts

     Marylynne

     Put your big girl's pants on Heather! That's what you say to Alexis, now it your turn.

    aepidlaoan 22 pts

    I couldn't agree more with you, people are so nasty on here. keep up the good work, you're on of my favorites on the show! Don't change a thing

    r1b148ba 534 pts

    Yet another Heather BLOG castigating viewers by Heather Almighty and, as in all of other Heather BLOGs, arrogance reigns supreme.

    fiesta 504 pts

    You are on a reality television show, everything you say and do is recorded for the public, if you don't like what you see on the show and the feedback you receive on it, that's your problem.

    wiscfan 382 pts

    Heather, remember how you've said "if everyone is telling you something about yourself, maybe you should listen and change your behavior"?  Well, read all these blog comments.  Wasn't that your Costa Rica issue with Alexis?  Maybe you should watch the episodes and see how WE see YOU.

    bravofannyc 85 pts

    Didn't you say that when many people are saying negative things about you that you're supposed to step back and think what you are doing wrong?  If you expect that from Alexis, why don't you do it yourself instead of wishing your viewers bad karma?

    DutchGirl69 790 pts

     bravofannyc We the viewers are an outside 3rd party...your right..I have a feeling Heather has no intention of reading these comments.. How could she have read the prior comments and still write that stupid blog...WOW!

    SelaLeah 544 pts

     bravofannyc Obviously there is a double set of standards.  Alexis is held to a higher standard than the mean girls hold themselves.  Heather loves to regale us with her one-liners and wisdom, yet she doesn't follow her own golden advice.  Do what I say, not what I do.

    Stylo74 312 pts

     Treat others as you would want to be treated is a tenet in both the old and the new testament. It is the golden rule. Would you honestly want someone to treat you the way you treated Alexis? You think it was ok for you to call out Alexis on her faults, but when people call you out on yours it's bullying? You are embarrassing yourself. Why the double standard? All people are equal and all deserve to be treated with respect. That includes you as well as Alexis. It would be wrong for people to just sit by and not call you out on something like this.

    Mommy_of_Too 34 pts

    Heather, I have never really cared for you on the show. I just don't why you think you are so much better than people. I don't understand why you are so mean to your husband. I feel that his a nice person to you and like to have fun but your a "Stick In The Mud". Oh wait... Mud... Heather... You are way to good for your name to be in the same sentence as mud.....

    You are nothing but a bully. If you were bullied in school then you should know what bulling is and how it feels.

    You have your own "goodie two shoes" world going on in your mind. You are not even appreciative about your home being in a magazine because it wasn't on the cover. You instigate things between all the girls on the show.

    I hope you and Alexis have made mends because your attitude has changed a lot of peoples opinion about this show.

    gac123 310 pts

    The fans are cyberbullying you?  well, you "chose" to read it, so I guess it doesn't count?  What a bunch of hypocritical nonsense.  You need to take a step back and think about all this - you are unkind to the point of being really mean face to face with someone "you don't care to associate with".  But, wait - didn't you "sign up for that" AFTER Alexis was already on the show.  Just because there is mean strength in numbers doesn't make you right. You also "chose" to be on a show that allows fans to interact by social media - so does that mean you "chose" to be cyberbullied?  You just don't like it when the Jimmy Choo is on the other foot.  How about this -since you think we are all hiding behind our computers - let's get a few of the shows fans - who "don't care to be associated with you" - in a room, at a dinner table with you - and you can go toe to toe in person.  Would that work better for you?

    sparkleemonster 227 pts

     gac123 haha I can just picture that dinner...Heather sticking her fingers in her ears and saying "LA LA LA LA"

    gina.fuller.52 121 pts

     gac123

     I completely agree with you.  It appears that Heather doesn't like the taste of her own medicine. 

    fiesta 504 pts

    Heathers a laugh! If she has a problem with the viewers input, perhaps she can take Gretchen's advise to Alexis about "don't keep sitting at the mean girls table if you don't like the treatment" and use it on herself being on a reality show. If heather doesn't like the viewers opinions of her, she should go somewhere else!@gac123

    jaime.wakkila 419 pts

    Love your post, couldn't agree more....I've been watching this show since it's very first episode, love it. I hope the people who are nasty and mean stop being so and I wish that most of them has the same "passion" with regard to gun control, environment and civil rights as they have for the lives of the 6 of you. You're a great addition to the cast.

    zoeyblu 684 pts

     jaime.wakkila Probably, when Heather stops being mean and nasty , the viewers will follow.  We are just her mirror

    sedgrl 318 pts

    Where were your words of religious sanctity when Tamera was calling Alexis "Jesus Jugs"? I'm not a Christain and I found that really offensive and unforgivable.

    shecodes 438 pts

     sedgrl I was also truly shocked by that statement, and couldn't believe that it wasn't edited out of the show.  It was a new, seriously low point for Tamra.

    TulsaHousewife 1964 pts

     shecodes  sedgrl

     That is because Tamra has reached a new low..attacking people that disagree with her. Tamra is disgusting this season and if she is back next season, I won't be...

    sedgrl 318 pts

    Uhg Heather you are so self righteous. How else are fans of the show supposed to communicate with you?

    jaime.wakkila 419 pts

     sedgrl she's not asking you not to communicate, unless you are being nasty and racist toward them or their families.....why does that seem so crazy to people/

     

    joytoo 3952 pts

     jaime.wakkila  sedgrl I have not seen any racist comments 

    hellow 214 pts

     jaime.wakkila  

    I woud say more than 90% of these reponses to this blog and her previous one are well thought out and "telling it like it is".  The truth hurts sometimes.

     
    zoeyblu 684 pts

     sedgrl I think Heather is unhappy because most people do not agree with her nastiness ...so for her to rationalize it in her head she has to turn it around telling us she is "disappointed in us , and our reaction to it "

     

     

    give me a friggin break !

    SelaLeah 544 pts

    So...by your definition, making fun of someone's looks is bullying.  Hope you chastised Tamra and Gretchen for their comments on Vicki post surgery.  Why are you all still trying to define and justify your bullying instead of addressing how incredibly mean you all are.  In your last blog you commended Tamra for sticking up for you at that awful party.  Now you say she was wrong.  Which is it?  Did you really need Tamra to come to your aid and throw Alexis out of the party?  You had already glazed over, hadn't you?  It was very rude of you to suggest Lydia and Vickie stay and let Alexis go home alone.  They all arrived together to support one another against your 'bullying'.  Why in the world would anyone have wanted to stay?  How did you all digest your food after that fiasco?

    piperbeau 10994 pts

     SelaLeah  You are so right!! I thought it was so mean of Heather to ask Lydia and Vicki to stay!! 

    LindaMc99 62 pts

     piperbeau  SelaLeah

     No.  It was actually letting them know that the problem was Alexis and not them.  If I came with Alexis, I would have left too but Heather was leaving it open for them to stay.  I don't being mean was her intention

    Huddie 60 pts

    Heather, Alexis feels she is being bullied because for the last two times that she's been around all of you women, the conversation escalates because Tamra starts yelling and viciously attacking. She lashes out all the time so from Alexis' point of view I can see how she feels she's being bullied.   You had made a comment to Lydia that she should consider who her friends are if she's coming into a new group of women  however have you considered that your friend Tamra makes you look equally as bad? Why do you want to hang around someone who is always making a spectacle of herself and causing a scene by continually taking her aggression out on others? She caused a spectacle at your party last year with Vicki, she did it in Costa Rica, she did it at your dinner party after seeing Vicki again for the first time after several months and at her own dinner party   If anyone needs to take a good look in the mirror and is in desperate need of an intervention, it's Tamra.  You say that Alexis never wants to listen to the constructive feedback you all try to give her well your friend Tamra didn't take so kindly to your  feedback at the dinner and she also takes no accountability for her behavior.  And she always twists a situation to make herself appear as if she were the victim when she's the instigator.  Bottom line is it was Tamra's party, she said Alexis could come, she then regretted her decision so she should have just called Vicki and told her that she had second thoughts and changed her mind.  Instead she tries to humiliate Alexis at the party in front of a group of women  and then tries to blame Vicki for asking to bring Alexis in the first place.  Gretchen also didn't help the situation with her underhanded comments, eye rolls, etc.  

    smcorc 235 pts

    LMAO so when viewers post their opinions about you it is bullying?  You just opened yourself up a big ole can of worms girlfriend!  This blog is completely hypocritical, and hiding behind a computer believe me lady I would tell you to your face given the opportunity what I am telling you on this computer.  Now in a sense you are bullying the viewers, you are way to much girl.  Go away with your rich girl problems, you not Alexis is the one who needs to be medicated, you are CRAZY!!!!!!

    gbearc 612 pts

     smcorc Heather is the last person on the planet to attack Alexis over 'rich girl problems'! Remember, it was Heather who went ballistic when someone broke off a tiny piece of her cake!

    zoeyblu 684 pts

     smcorc Heather has to turn it around and try to convince us now that WE , the bloggers are the problem................

     

    OY VEY